Feb 2008 - The Final Thread - Get a Blardy Move on Jaysthird, princessllama and tyaca!!!!!!

[Egg]

Wonder how many posts we will get before we can start the post natal one.

Come on girls, keep getting jiggy and eating those curries.

Hi ladies,

Way too much time again since I last posted - sorry and just trying to catch up with lovely postnatal anecdotes and reading about the day to day delights of motherhood. LOL at neck cheese Egg and Beansprout - I know exactly what you mean as LO lets it tumble down his chin like a liquid avalanche.

Well LO is six weeks old now and I've now hung my boobs up for good. It was just too much trying to breastfeed, and balance the needs of an active 7 year old on the school run, playdates for other boys while you've got nipples on show, a restless husband and a swoop in on the baby stylee mother in law brandishing formula like LO was starving. I swear LO made faces at me for 2 weeks and wouldn't make eye contact as I'd chucked him off the boob, or maybe that's just me overanalysing infant behaviour. Anyway fiddled around with horrible constipation for two weeks on SMA Gold and have since switched to Aptamil which has transformed LO's intestinal discomfort for the better overnight. Did love the breastfeeding, especially all the absolutely wonderful extra eating, but won't dwell on the fact that it was for such a short period. Now I'm left with tiny tits and old raisin nipples which is a great loss.

On the whole DS1 has been amazing in his acceptance of his new little brother although he insists on picking him up and carrying him everywhere which means I have to follow him around with hands outstretched. Yesterday I was in the kitchen doing bottle cleaning chores when I heard this almighty squeal and ran in screaming into the living room only to find DS1 had put LO under his playgym in floods of tears telling me that I didn't love him any more and threatening to leave. Then he stuffed his rucksack with his favourite toys and said that he was moving out and would leave in the dead of night. I made sure that I chubb locked the door that night as I've got no idea about the resolve of my very determined DS1. Spent the next hour begging for a hug whilst trying to play down attentiveness to LO.

Anyway DS2 is a milk monster and I will speak to HV about whether I'm overfeeding. He gets about 27oz a day and he's now 10lb 7oz. I have noticed that he has now crossed 2 centile lines so I don't know whether I'm misinterpreting his cries too prematurely and giving in with the bottle.

Other than that thank god he is no longer constipated as the noises at night were driving DH1 out of the bedroom. Fiddling around with lactulose, suppositories and infant gaviscon is not a great way to manage a 6 week old's digestive system I think, especially when I don't even take so much as an aspirin when I've got a headache!

Ljikk and beansprout, echo your comments about being pleasantly detached from one's mothering conscientousness with subsequent babies. It's amazing how empowering a bit of knowledge and experience is in this game. Beating oneself up about not being good enough is not good for the soul and just leaves you feeling vulnerable and sad.

Also saw that London meet ups were being mooted and I'd be up for that if we can galvanise some plans....

Mutha (must change my posting name as it's obsolete now!) x

Just read back my post, yes I've only got one DH (called him DH1), but he's showing signs of some sort of postnatal response .... and going clubbing on Easter Sunday night! Maybe the responsibility of 2 children has suddenly hit him hard. Find it rather depressing that he still wants to go and stand in a speaker at the ripe old age of 42 when he has two gorgeous boys at home. Trying not to think about it.

Egg - 23 months was hard at times (especially when DH had an accident at work and ended up in a non weight bearing cast up to his knee for 9 weeks when ds2 was 5 months old) but they are so close now and love playing with the same things. I also think it's been so easy going from 2 to 3 - much easier than the one to 2 transition.

We went for a volkswagon touran - not big enough for you me thinks slacker - it's a 7 seater but the 2 in the back fold down and we'll just use it as a 5 seater with a nice big boot! In a lot of ways I would like another one too as I'm just so enjoying the little baby stage. Pretty sure this'll be our last though - our bedrooms are all full.

I too am bf and walking a lot but wouldn't say I'm eating that much quantity wise - it's what I am eating that's the problem -lots of junk. I seem to have such a sweet tooth.

Slacker/omy and anyone else co-sleeping. This sounds great in theory but I struggle latching on lying down. Lo can't latch himself on and I'm struggling to see when he has his mouth wide open when we're lying down. Any advice/tips? Would love to sleepily feed him but at the moment I have to put the night light on and sit up.

I agree with you egg I'd rather have unsettled evenings than nights but it's just so nice sitting here on the internet rather than the marathon feeding sessions of old!

Hello all - Mutha2be what a guy your DS1 must be! Knows how to pull your heartstrings ok I would say!

Tyaca - it takes a while to get mobile and confident out of the house. The first day back from hospital, three days after C section, I decided I ought to go to Argos. What the hell? In the end I think it was a week before I stepped outside, probably about two before I started walking for exercise, and six before doing any "real" exercise (and that very gentle). Public transport is a REAL challenge and should only be attempted when you're feeling strong and confident. Last week I decided to take the car and the baby bjorn to sainsbury's for a big shop only to have to call DP to come and rescue me - couldn't push loaded trolley, or bend over it to unload shopping with LO on my front. Doh.

One exercise you can do from day 1 is "navel to spine" - if you've done pilates you'll hav the idea but basically pulling your navel up and in and tensing stomach muscles which should engage our old friend PF as well. Also lying on your side in front of th telly and doing the same thing but trying to lift the side of your tummy away from the floor without moving your hips.

This week I've started climbing again at the indoor wall which is FAB to get back to and also done a couple of postnatal exercise and yoga classes but it's all very gentle and the main focus is social I think!

Am going off to have a look at the meet-up thread if it's there on the off-chance I can get there in a day without needing the underground.

Alkar -thanks for the comedy moment - albeit unintentional and the fact that you probably weren't feeling that comedy at the time!

PILs here for the easter weekend - hooray - some free time!

ooo ooo oooh!

[jumps up and down excitedly emoticon]

Happy Easter Egg

Soz - just had to be first to do that.

Alkar - can't your mum get a little perspective for 2. Good on your dh though and hopefully having your sis around will cheer you up x

Tyaca - you sound like I did first time round. Ditch the gym membership for now and just try and 'savour' this time. It isn't easy bt you've just got try and be kind to yourself and not be too hard on yourself. Just take it one day/week at a time, start small and work up from there. Also, on your bits below, you'll notice as each week goes by they will feel different as it takes time for swelling to go down, gaps to close and stitches to heal. If you can though, do try and do your pelvic floors cause it helps the healing and recovery

Mutha - your post made me smile. My ds1 went into meltdown yesterday cause I said ds2 was so cute I might eat him and he just went mad about how much it wold hurt etc!!!

On the subject of exercise, I've decided that once I'm in a bit more of a routine and stuff, I'm going to take up pole dancing!!! Our local dance school does it and it's sposed to be really good for you as well as good fun!!

Tyaca, forgive me for being so bold, but you really must ease up on yourself. I can't help but feeling the mutual vibe that you are having a tough time and imposing a far too premature exercise regime is not being kind to yourself.

Childbirth is major man and trust your body to allow itself to heal ... relax, slow down and don't be like these ridiculous celebs who pay people to spank them every time they think about food or slobbing out.

Sorry am on my 3rd glass of wine so probably sounding off too hard, and all my typing is disturbing LO who is moaning and grumbling through his dummy.

Off to scoff chocolate now as far too lazy to think about proper cooking. DS1 had microwave popcorn for dinner tonight.

Hope PL & Jay are ok- PL has posted on my October 2006 thread but that was the day after? the baby was born I think.

I think that I would definitely wait for a longer gap in between children. IF I do have a third I think I'd wait until DD1 was at nursery or school! 17 months gap is hard work..... I too am struggling with breastfeeding for hours on end, ending up with sore nips because I have to pull LO off breast if DD1 has hurt herself. Arghhhhhhh. What to do for the best?

I think that DD1 must be watching too much Mr Tumble she is signing the word for rabbit! Quite sweet.

Went to GP and he has prescibed antidepressants again. They have offered me maternity counselling but I am not too sure on that.
I have a whole weekend without DP he is working all three days. Looks like its me, the children and MN!

I still haven't found a double buggy I like.

samsmam - ty for pl tip off - will take a look for her post when dd stops being mardy.

take the counselling, if you can face it. if the counsellor any good, more effective than the drugs. def worth a least a one visit? re double buggies, i think half the reason dh keeps muttering to me about a second child is cause he obsessed with getting a phil and teds sport

Hey ladies,
have been trying for days to to get on here but just don't seem to manage it! When i do i only manage to read a few messages and something happens to drag me away .

big congrats to princess - do we know if it's pink or blue?

Dummies - yes, most definitely and they are recommended anyway, has been a god send!

Ladle- hello again, good to hear from you

Slacker, sorry you had a crap time lately - know how it feels re accident - first time we took ds out in car some silly moo drove in the back of us, was really angry cos it's so hard to know if small people are hurting.

Alkar - think your mum's been a bit unreasonable - hope wkend with your sis makes up for it.

Exercise- am still bfing so thats my excuse for not doing any (and then moaning constantly about being fat!)- but i was told at hosp that if you have a c-sect not to exercise for 12 wks anyway! TBH my tummy is still sore even after all this time so i wouldn't do too much even if i was exercising. I think what ever kind of birth you have had you should go gentle on yourself, no point in getting even more knackered!

Well, all going ok here but one of my blardy cats keeps peeing every where - so far this week it has been in the plant pots, on the stairs and the best of all in the cooker....yes the cooker (the hob bit!), what a lovely surprise first thing in the morning! Have booked christening - can't get it done until june as church is fully booked 'til then - ds will be too big for family gown by then, oh well! Hope no one is offended! Mind you that will be the least of my worries as so far my dad had said he wont come if i invite certain rellies (not sure if he was joking) and my in laws keep asking who will be godparents! Guess i will be upsetting someone along the way. The one person I would like to be a god father isn't christened - does anyone know if this makes a difference - i always thought it did, but someone said it is at the vicar's discretion.

Anyway, have to go and make dinner before my gorgeous boy wakes up. Have a good weekend and HAPPY EASTER if i don't get chance to come on again!

PL posted on my Oct 06 thread so I am sure she won't mind me telling you- it was a boy, just under 9lb. Do hope she is ok?

Oh and samsmam don't be hard on yourself for taking tablets, i have had them in the past and they were what was right at the time and i couldn't have coped without them, i had counseling too, maybe you will need both. Go with what's right for you, afterall you can stop both/either if you want to or they're not working out. Big hugs hun - make sure you look out for you! PS - if you take tablets and then decide to stop, you need to wean yourself off (hope i'm not speaking out of turn - you may already know that)

Thanks samsmam for info. Hopefully she'l let us know more details soon.

Rozzy - re cosleeping, DS isn't too good at latching on when lying down flat, so I put my arm under his head and usually drop off to sleep in that position. I leave the bathroom (ensuite) light on at night so that there's just enough light to see to get him latched on, don't want to be turning lights on in the middle of the night but just can't get the positioning right when it's really dark.

Just bought a crosstrainer which DH spent the afternoon putting together, as I have no chance of ever getting to the gym. Wonder how long it will take me to get back to pre preg weight, well preferably a stone less than that...

Horrible, long day here. Ds1 has been vile all day. I'm at the point where I am actually hoping he is ill which would justify his behaviour. If this is his normal self, I'm not sure what we are going to do!!

Rozzy - I haven't really learnt the art of the laying down latch but will try Slacker's tip. I tend to sit up and read and try and view it as "time to myself"

Hope everyone else is ok and Happy Easter!!

Happy Easter everyone! Hope it's a good 'un

I'm pretty low at the moment, think the tiredness has caught up with me and the trying to do everything thing...stoopid, stoopid, stoopid! I can cry at the drop of a hat (bit like LO!) so have upped my anti depressants for a while until the hopelessness subsides. Lost all confidence too - anyone else had that?

Got a funeral next week - an ex-colleague I've known for 20 odd years. Going to have to take Daniel with me...is that OK? Think he would have rather had me there than not even if I have squalling baby ??

Thanks for the tip slacker - reassuring that its not just me whose baby can't easily latch themselves on! I sit up and read too beany but an extra few minutes sleep would be nice though - thought it might be easier to get back to sleep if I fed lying down.

Samsmam - use your pinky in the corner of babies mouth to break the suction so you don't get sore nipples. I quite often have to take lo off if the latch isn't quite right.

Happy holiday weekend everyone. My dh is working too but off tomorrow at least so will make the most of that.

Jo i am also at a funeral next week, an old frind of the family, passed away last tuesday- funeral is wed- am also taking DD i too am hoping it wil be ok!!!

I am in agreeance(sp) with you think he would rather we were there than not!!!

Luckily Ds is covered but not really ready to leave DD as yet,

Have a good easter everyone!!!

I am having all the family round on sunday for lunch so should be nice-

What is eveyone up to?

Thankyou for all your support on the problems with my mum, its so nice to have you all here and glad to have made you smile Gill!

Mutha - like the idea of popcorn for dinner

Did my Davina postnatal dvd yesterday was very light and it feels good to get back into exercising. To make you all feel better, in one of the exercises davina lifted up her top to show her jelly belly and she looks fantastic again now so there is hope!

Ginger regarding the christening we have been told that all the godparents must be baptised but each church may have different rules?

Am finding it ok to latch LO in bed if I roll up a muslin and put it under my boob just to lift it up a bit, positioning seems better for him

Jo - sorry you are feeling down and hope the funeral goes ok (you too sarah) x

Oh and happy easter everyone

Happy Easter.

My DP is working all weekend.
Have been invited to an old neighbours of mine for sunday lunch- I won't say no!

Alkar- my SIL bought me the Davina DVD. She does look fantastic now, I hope I can too.
Still 3 weeks to go till my 6 week check then I will begin the exercise.

Have a good weekend all. x

Have been holed up indoors all day today - seems far too bitter to take LO out and for some reason I've done my back in - shoulder blade very sore and stiff and struggling to hold baby - not great! Luckily I had some painkillers left over after Csection so I've had a couple of those.

Just backwards and forwards to the fridge grazing - no excuse now I'm not BF any more and will have to take myself in hand soon.

Sorry to hear that you Jo and Samsmam are on the tablets. It's just so unfair that some women sail through pregnancy and childbirth without a whisper of depression and others are plagued with these symptoms. My sympathies to both of you and as I'm sure many have told you before, it does pass with time although it seems like you might be low for an eternity when you're low. Hugs to both of you and remember to do something just for yourselves each day.

DH has taken DS1 off to cinema - just too much for all of us to be rattling around the flat together all day. I should really do a quick tidy up around but I'm just not feeling energised enough. The only chore I can manage is to wash the bottles!

Oh well, another cup of tea and some more choccie biccies here we come.

Did anyone watch Dirty Sexy Money last night?

hi everyone. has been mad since the baby was born. we went in on monday am after 2 nights of contractions and a stinking cold i was shattered already. half way to hospital we got a call saying they were really busy could we go in at lunch time. had to say no as were in a taxi, and lo was being taken care of already. at least managed to catch up on a bit of sleep before induction. thank goodness i was already 4cm when they examined me before breaking waters-felt like i'd got somewhere at least. the baby's heart rate went down on the monitor after and they started talking about c section and wouldn't give me lunch-marvellous. contractions increasing steadily but not v rapid so they started talking about a drip. i spent the next 3 hours leaping up and down on the birthing ball and wiggling whilst sucking on the g and a desperately hoping wouldn't need any drip etc. i think i was concentrating so much it helped me stay calm. they finally examined me just before 6 and i was 9and half cm. they were all really surprised because i hadn't been screaming. it all went tits up when they said i could push. the cervix came back a bit over the baby's head, his heart rate really dipped and they found the cord was round his neck too-all without my beloved g and a . i lost any calm at this point and wailed all the usual-help me etc and to dh tell them i need drugs. mother of god it hurt. his shoulders are huge huge. anyway he finally came out healthy. he has a massive bump on his head which will take up to 3 months to go down and he has scratches on his head from where they were trying to break waters which were v close to his head. he's called ferdie and he's lovely.
since then he has been feeding hourly til yesterday which nearly killed me. milk came in today and i'm very weepy and low. pils are down to help which is fab but fil drives me nuts even though he's lovely. the 17 month age gap is hardcore

yep i watched dirty sexy money and really enjoyed it, thought the priest Darling was a genius character, hilariously angry and evil!! looking forward to more, hurray!

Lo getting very angry and red at my left knocker. don't know what his problem is!!