April 2023 - We’re nearly half way! ✨ 🍼

[Cuppasoupmonster]

New thread! Hopefully this one will see us through 20 week scans and crossing the halfway point! 💕

As ever if you’re missing from the list give me a shout and I will add you:

Cuppasoupmonster second baby 7th (induction 37w) 💖
Milkandfenty third baby 1st 💛
Searchingtheskies second baby 2nd 💛
Biscuitsplease first baby 2nd 💖
Chocolat first baby 3rd 💛
Bluebubbles12 second baby 4th 💛
Erber third baby 4th 💛
CariadBB first baby 5th 💛
Skylark1990 second baby 7th 💛
Melissa2023 first baby 8th 💙
Tubbytele second baby 14th (CS 39w) 💛
Alwaysseeingstars first baby 9th 💛
Lj2022 first baby 10th 💖
Emeal123 second baby 11th 💙
DBS94 first baby 11th 💙
tattlytote second baby 12th 💛
Bernesemum first baby 12th 💛
Lid88 second baby 13th 💛
Ncbn first baby 14th 💙
Kennadams fourth baby 16th 💛
Margo34 second baby 16th💛
Aliceinslumberland first baby 16th (CS 39w) 💙
Appleandcheese first baby 18th 💛
Xalexandra first baby 20th 💛
Piggybean first baby 20th 💛
Tropicana1 second baby 20th 💛
Puddingbear 27th (CS 39w) 💛
Springblooms08 first baby 21st 💛
Hannah223344 first baby 21st 💙
Gilm0reGirl second baby 21st 💛
Pommy1 first baby 22nd 💖
Deek88 second baby 24th 💛
Marshmallowmountain first baby 25th 💖
LauraA31 first baby 26th 💛
Peachesthecat third baby 26th 💛
Allfurcoatnoknickers second baby 28th 💖
Limoncelloo 29th March second baby 💖
MamaMenna second baby 30th 💖

Congrats to everyone on happy and healthy 20 week scans! It's so exciting we're all around the halfway mark 😊

Mine is the 29th when I'll be 20+6 so it was the last day I could have it.
@Lisa221987 that's ridiculous that they can't give you a scan before 21 weeks. I don't think a few days will make much difference at this stage for checking everything, but they're not following the official guidelines. I had to go back for a second scan with DS as he was in an awkward position and that was at 22 weeks and the measurements they missed at the first one were fine to do then.

@Lisa221987 is your scan in the same hospital as where you will give birth? Sorry to be negative, but their attitude and disorganisation would set alarm bells going for me and make me think forward to what to expect from them when you're having baby. Is the unit's reputation OK? Not that you always have any choice in where you go depending on where you live, but I'd do some digging to make sure the end experience will be ok. Hopefully it's just the attitude of the person you happened to get on the phone.

Thank you those who also are getting out of breath easily, you are reassuring me it's not just me being super out of shape. I don't know anything about thyroids, I hope it's not that. I know my iron is fine.

This is at Solihull hospital and i will be giving birth at heartlands.

I was given the option to have my first child at solihull but as it is midwife led anyone high risk cannot have their baby there

Apalled at there attitude towards me on the phone today.i understand they are stressed but i just wanted to know when they will be offering me my scan

@Lisa221987 that is disgraceful!! I'm so sorry to hear you're having a hard time. Can the midwife not book you in? It obviously works differently for different areas but my midwife can change and request appointments there and then and we are able to phone up our hospital and change times/dates. I'd be taking this further if I were you, it's not what you need as it'll just cause anxiety xx

Thank you for the support. Im so sad by the whole thing. My modwife has escalated and i have logged with PALS. My midwife said this its not something that happens very often and hasnt had this issue with any of her other ladies. I just want to make sure my baby is checked at the correct time and everything is ok. Its such an important scan

@Lisa221987 fair enough these places are busy but that really is terrible and they shouldn’t speak to you like that! Where is the empathy.

I’m also based in Birmingham and I’ve heard the maternity department at heartlands is pretty good if that helps, not heard about Solihull.

Congrats on all the lovely scans!

@Lisa221987 I hope you get your 20 week scan appointment soon, they didn't have to be so rude about it 😔

@Springblooms08 I'm having bad back pain right now, 18 weeks too. Now I'm wondering if it's SPD, it started off as a dull ache and it's become worse over the last couple of days 😭

@ancienthouse that's good to know about the cannula, I did wonder that as surely it would be pretty quick to get one in. The midwife today said that I could have a water birth with one in but I don't really understand how that would be safe, I feel like I'd be worrying about keeping my hand out of the water the whole time? Not sure, maybe they can water proof them up well.
I lost at least 1400ml blood, thats what it has on my notes but it could have been more because I reacted v badly to it, and had to have blood transfusions etc. It was all a bit chaotic and they didn't realise till quite late that I was flagging.

@Lisa221987 I really don't understand this, how can they not book you in when you're basically 20 weeks?! That's so odd and bad, I got my 20 week appointment same day as my 12 week scan. I'm sure now you have escalated they'll get you an appointment quickly. Can you go to a different hospital for it if need be? X

My midwife asked why i wasnt booked in at my dating scan too.. i really dont know was i meant to say something to prompt it? I just presumed an appointment would come through automatically. There are 3 hospitals in the trust heartlands solihull and good hope. They havent mentioned good hope to me but i will travel anywhere to be honest.

@Skylark1990 I am considering home birth too, it's an option, but I looked at the response time for ambulance services just in case of needing to transfer to hospital if anything goes pear shaped and it has really put me off. Current average 7-15mins for ambulance to arrive in my area, that's top category call out (so slower for lesser categories)- that also doesn't include the time for the emergency phone call to be answered or the actual transfer time it will take to get to the hospital in ambulance 4miles away either. Birth can be so unpredictable it has really put me off a HB just in case anything goes wrong, my DC1 ended up in NICU so might be a different story if I hadn't already been at the hospital 🤷. I haven't ruled it out completely yet though, still weighing up the pros. Have you checked the emergency response times in your area yet, just in case?

@Lisa221987 that sounds so stressful I'm sorry you're fighting to get the most important scan booked in.

Have you got a direct number for your midwife? They might be able to speed it up for you?

The emergency response times really scare me at the moment. I also live half an hour’s drive from a hospital so I think even if I was low risk I wouldn’t feel reassured giving birth at home - which is a shame as I can see how lovely it would be if transfer times etc weren’t a concern! It’s a personal choice though and I know a few people who have had HBs both planned and unplanned.

@Skylark1990 hmmm I would assume the bleed was to do with the forceps rather than you if you see what I mean? Hopefully there will be some facts and figures somewhere to help you with your decision.

@Margo34 Ah yes, the transfer times did worry me/do worry me a bit too. I planned a home birth with my DD and ended up transferring in when I was 7cm as I was no longer progressing and was exhausted after an already v long labour. Even though it wasn't a life/death sort of emergency as DD wasn't in distress, it was still categorised as such because I was in active labour. The ambulance arrived within 5mins and the drive took somewhere between 5-10 mins (I was a bit out of it but DH told me after and I remember it all feeling very quick). They had also called ahead to the hospital, so had a wheelchair waiting for me, the room ready, midwives and doctors avail straight away, I got an epidural within minutes - which is standard practice at my trust to do, get whatever you need all ready while you're on your way if transferring in. My midwife said that often it's actually quicker than or same amount of time as if you'd been at hospital and e.g needed to go quickly into a c-section, as they still need to prep the room etc. But totally get feeling worried esp if baby needed something super quickly - being away from hospital is just that extra layer of potential obstacles.

Statistically, home birth is safer for mums especially second time mums, and just as safe for babies - there was some recent research that came out looking at this in 2019 or 2020, I think about 500,000 births were included to measure it. A second study concluded that home birth meant less likely to have birth interventions for the mother.

But yes - you need to go with what you feel safest doing - if you are able to create a good environment at hospital and you feel comfortable being there, I think that's the main thing. A HB environment can be so good for oxytocin etc, which can help labour go more smoothly - but of course not always.

@Cuppasoupmonster yes that's what I think too, and midwife agrees - that the bleed was due to a number of factors, forceps, long labour, syntocinon - all of which increase the risk for a bleed and I had them all. So as long as this one goes more smoothly it should be ok 😅

You can plan a HB and change your mind and go in no prob, but you can't plan a hospital birth and switch to a home birth once in labour, so that has always made me feel more inclined to plan a HB and then if I do decide to go in, or need to, that's fine too.

@Margo34 I should add that in my area, they prioritise birth call outs above all else so if there is an ambulance out going to a call, they will divert and come to the birth. Also the drive to hospital is usually 15 or so mins, so the ambulance was definitely able to get to and from my house more quickly. Have you discussed in more detail e.g how they prioritise call outs, whether they'd be getting everything ready when on your way, etc? Also probably depends on what your DC1 needed in terms of whether this is likely to be something that repeats itself?

I'm finding it pretty difficult to stay calm today. Stupidly googled what they can find at the 20 week scan and then started to panic about the general health of the baby and possibility of life limiting illness etc.

Hey Ladies, I have very recently suffered a bereavement and am now I think worrying about everything even more. I can’t stop the thought that something is going to go wrong. I am nearly 18 weeks so I know stats on my side. Did it does anyone else feel like this or am I just panicking for oi reason 🤷‍♀️🙄 xxx also had the glucose test yesterday and reacted really badly to it! Ended up being monitored for 3 hours as u passed out. However at least I heard heartbeat! Every cloud! X

@Peachesthecat sorry for your loss. I feel that way too due to a recent bereavement however my bereavement in my family was sadly loosing my niece and related to pregnancy so I feel that upped my anxieties. I feel that I was also worried about the effects of grief. If it's getting too much speak to your midwife mines has been amazing and also maybe a private scan to settle your mind. These things both helped me. Hope you're okay and sending a hug x

@Peachesthecat I lost my dad 5 months ago and I’d say as I’m still
grieving it’s definitely increased my anxiety levels, I’m not overly worried about the pregnancy specifically but anxiety in general is harder to tackle with all
the extra hormones i have floating around my body, I have more blue days or I’m shorter tempered some days. I have talking therapy to help and I’ve started up my hypnobirthing routine again from last time, that’s helped as it’s very calming. Anything you can do to encourage feel good hormones and calming is good and will help. Exercise endorphins are good too I need to increase that.

My biggest issue right now that I can’t control is I feel like a troll. I swear this is a girl I’m carrying going by the old wives tale about them stealing your beauty 😆 I feel so fat; puffy, pale, I look tired and drained and I find it very hard to believe my husband could find me attractive so he gets the side eye when he compliments me. He’s even pulled out the big guns and a bought me the dyson airwrap in an attempt to cheer me up as my hair is UNMANAGEABLE!! Frizzy mess with fly always that won’t behave, I’ve sprouted all
this extra baby hair that give me a static shock look! But the thought of sitting infront of a mirror for 30 minutes fills me with dread. It’s past the basic vanity stage, it’s into the “I don’t want to leave the house” stage. I’m just venting I know no one can help but I feel hideous, I don’t want to see friends or family I just want to hibernate. Send (alcohol free) wine 🍷

I completely relate to you all who are suffering with anxiety, mine is bad this week.

@IvyAurora I did the exact same yesterday!! I've got my 20 week scan on Monday and I feel sick every time I think about it. With Black Friday coming up I've been making a list on my phone with links to things I'd like to get but I'm too scared to even look at it now in case I jinx it, how mad is that? X

It’s all normal guys - at least, going by this thread anyway! I was quite relaxed about DD and the new baby until recently but she’s been having a lot of threenager tantrums and saying she doesn’t want to go to nursery etc. She went up a nursery class and had to leave friends behind, so it’s probably that, but I also think she knows change is afoot. It’s just been us 3 and dog 🐶 until now, so her world at home is very small. So a bit of mum guilt there.

I’m also nervous about the scan - like I said before no feeling of doom, just a general knowledge of what could be picked up plus I’m a few years older now. November is also my ‘unlucky month’ (although DH keeps telling me to stop thinking that all the time!) - lots of anniversaries of bad events, so mentally it’s a bit icy.

However on we go, I know after the scan I will be worrying about the growth scans, then the birth, then I will be obsessing over the baby’s health so- trying to remind myself that if I don’t enjoy the pregnancy I won’t be having another one to enjoy (last baby).

Thank you Jexi! :) xx

@Gilm0reGirl your update made me laugh 😂I'm sorry you feel so hideous - I am sure it's definitely not as bad as you think!! I could also do with a glass of wine, I didn't ever really feel like alcohol when pregnant with DD but have definitely felt like it on occasion this time, if only to unwind... mmm a nice glass of red would be so welcome! I'm not even a big drinker usually and don't have much at all, but I can't wait to have some wine and a cocktail or two once I'm not pregnant anymore haha. I think also it's that time of year isn't it... Christmas parties etc.

I'm so sorry to everyone who has had bereavements - it's so hard to process, especially when recent. Definitely speak to your midwife to get support if you need it - I am getting some talk therapy through the perinatal mental health team due to previous miscarriages and feeling quite anxious about stuff. Since I sought it out I have actually felt much better, I think just the knowledge I'm doing something proactive helped.

@ancienthouse @Skylark1990 you are right that a cannula can be inserted pretty quickly. The only risk is with a PPH the body can go into shock and your peripheral veins basically collapse making it really hard to find a vein and get a cannula in. They do have anaesthetists who would be able to get access one way or the other but then again depends on their availability etc. Just letting you know the main reason they want you to have the cannula early but yes the risk of a massive bleed, shock and collapsing veins is still not that big if you’re low risk generally but higher during giving birth than a lot of other situations.

Re cannula and water birth. It’s not unsafe but yeah if there’s just a sticky on it it might fall out. So they usually bandage it. It’s usually closed when not in use so water can’t get in.

Had my anomaly scan today and all okay which is a big relief, had to get up and go off for a walk to get into position but It completely blew my husbands mind seeing all the detail and now suddenly feels very real...scary!

I've also managed to find some eBay/FB bargains, a snuzpod and a little green sheep Moses basket for £30 each :)