April 2023 - We’re nearly half way! ✨ 🍼

[Cuppasoupmonster]

New thread! Hopefully this one will see us through 20 week scans and crossing the halfway point! 💕

As ever if you’re missing from the list give me a shout and I will add you:

Cuppasoupmonster second baby 7th (induction 37w) 💖
Milkandfenty third baby 1st 💛
Searchingtheskies second baby 2nd 💛
Biscuitsplease first baby 2nd 💖
Chocolat first baby 3rd 💛
Bluebubbles12 second baby 4th 💛
Erber third baby 4th 💛
CariadBB first baby 5th 💛
Skylark1990 second baby 7th 💛
Melissa2023 first baby 8th 💙
Tubbytele second baby 14th (CS 39w) 💛
Alwaysseeingstars first baby 9th 💛
Lj2022 first baby 10th 💖
Emeal123 second baby 11th 💙
DBS94 first baby 11th 💙
tattlytote second baby 12th 💛
Bernesemum first baby 12th 💛
Lid88 second baby 13th 💛
Ncbn first baby 14th 💙
Kennadams fourth baby 16th 💛
Margo34 second baby 16th💛
Aliceinslumberland first baby 16th (CS 39w) 💙
Appleandcheese first baby 18th 💛
Xalexandra first baby 20th 💛
Piggybean first baby 20th 💛
Tropicana1 second baby 20th 💛
Puddingbear 27th (CS 39w) 💛
Springblooms08 first baby 21st 💛
Hannah223344 first baby 21st 💙
Gilm0reGirl second baby 21st 💛
Pommy1 first baby 22nd 💖
Deek88 second baby 24th 💛
Marshmallowmountain first baby 25th 💖
LauraA31 first baby 26th 💛
Peachesthecat third baby 26th 💛
Allfurcoatnoknickers second baby 28th 💖
Limoncelloo 29th March second baby 💖
MamaMenna second baby 30th 💖

I also started my job in September and won’t get any mat leave at all. Worth having a look if you’re entitled to the government maternity grant. It’s not brilliant but it’s better than nothing!!

@CariadBB childcare costs are crazy expensive. And it's not like childcare workers are paid well either. It screws over all women.

I'd love a third child but I can't afford two in childcare at the same time. Which means I'd have to give up work for a couple of years or delay a third. I don't want to give up work but if I delay having a third then I'll be pushing 40 and I don't know if my body will take it!

I want my kids to see that women can work and do important jobs and can make a difference beyond rearing children. But I also feel horribly guilty about putting my kids in childcare and I really missed DS when he was at nursery full time. I'm now part time and it's better but still not ideal.

I was lucky and could delay nursery for DS until he was 18 months as my husband took a few months off unpaid between jobs. It used up some savings but it was totally worth it. We can't afford to do that again though.
It would be great if men took on more of the childcare responsibilities because then I think the government would be more likely to fund childcare properly!

How's everyone finding exercise in pregnancy? I did a pregnancy Pilates class for the first time last night and it was really hard! Not out of breath hard, but hard on muscle groups with lots of reps etc. Today I'm finding I have quite a lot of round ligament type pains and just wondering whether that seems normal after exercise or not?

I know exercise is meant to be good for you and baby but it worries me that it's not going to be safe, I don't know why!

Anyone else work a physically demanding job?

I’m a restaurant manager and on my feet for 8 hours a day, often running around like an idiot.

I love it, but it’s hard and stressful work and I’m finding the last 2-3 hours of my shifts I’m struggling to walk and suffering with pain in my pelvis and hips and back pain too.

I’m 16 weeks so not a massive bump yet and worried people will think I’m making it up/exaggerating as there's still a long way to go yet 😕

@PuddingBear I'm in the same position as you! It's demanding when you aren't pregnant let alone now! 😂😅

Hi everyone,

Just trying to get by with my head down at work with this stinking cough/cold myself, husband and 2 year old DD all have - bloody nursery germs have a lot to answer for!

Still being sick most days, still taking medication for it which feels pointless but I tried a day without and was sick way more so I guess it's doing something.

Interesting to hear about all your mat pay - myself and my husband both earn roughly the same and are 'middle' earners, comfortable but not well off. My mat pay is pretty good - 20 weeks full pay before it drops down to stat. With my DD I took 10 months off before returning to work, I felt pressure to go back (not from work but from myself) as I was convinced they wouldn't accept my request to work 4 days a week, turns out they let me and I had nothing to worry about and I regretted going back early ever since, so I'm hoping to take a year with this baby. That plan could all go to shit though if mortgage rates carry on rising how they are as my fix ends next September, just as my full pay ends - sighhhhh!

Anyway, I need a little hand hold/slap round the face from you all. I'm normally super laid back and never stressed when pregnant with my DD, but this time I'm 18 weeks, thought I felt the baby kick a few times last week but nothing since and I keep seeing one bloody magpie everywhere I go. It's like they're taunting me! My 20 week scan isn't until the 28th so I've got myself into a bit of a flap that something isn't right. I'm sure I'm being silly but it's just driving me a bit bonkers and I keep having horrendous dreams.

Hope your all OK!

@Lid88 I'm the same as you with magpies!! If I see one then I'm frantically looking out for another one! I don't know why because I'm not really superstitious but there's something about that magpie rhyme that's been ingrained in me from childhood!

My 20 week scan is the 29th and I'm worried even though I feel the baby move every day. It was tap dancing on my cervix the other night I'm sure. Hopefully yours starts doing the same to reassure you!

My DS is currently ill too, I think he has the flu because he's been quite bad and had a fever for 24 hours and is refusing to eat anything. He was up half the night being sick last night. Poor little thing. He's exhausted and so am I! Preparing me well for more newborn sleep deprivation.

@Springblooms08 Exercise in pregnancy is great, I wish I'd done more last time. I had been doing a postpartum strength training programme for about 18 months before I got pregnant and I love it. I've just switched to the pregnancy version last week when I stopped feeling so sick and exhausted. I think just listen to your body - if it feels like too much for a particular move or you're getting tired, don't push through. But any movement is great and unless it's causing pain then it's not going to do any harm. I think the worry with exercise in pregnancy is that you'll hurt yourself, not the baby. Our muscles are all relaxed and can't take as much strain as normal.
I properly ached the day after my first exercise last week but it was mostly my arm muscles protesting at the weights I'd been using and nothing worrying. A little niggling around my pelvis but that happens whether I exercise or not.

@xalexandra I know! Not sure how the next few months is going to go 😅

I do have a fab boss and great colleagues but it’s not a job that you can just sit down when you need to when you’ve got a queue of people out the door and no staff 😅

@Lid88 feeling exactly like you about the irregularity of the kicks as it had been a few days since I felt anything. So I gave midwife a call yday who reassured me that at this stage it's more likely that baby is hiding behind pelvis and not to worry until after weeks 22 to 24 where movement will start to become more pronounced and regular. I was not this stressed with my first!

@PuddingBear I totally feel you; never enough staff so you can't properly sit down but I always try to do the easier jobs that means less running around and always make sure I eat and drink enough water, whereas before i would go 8 hours without eating! Any office jobs are my thing now which is rare 😂 once I told everyone, they are all so helpful and understanding - I think it's because they can understand it's tough being on your feet for that long not being pregnant - let alone pregnant! The bigger you get the more understanding customers will be as well (hopefully!)

Also, do the majority of people on this thread have direct contact with their midwife? I don't, don't have a number or email for her (they just don't do that in my area I guess?) and I find it so irritating, I understand why (I guess they are super busy, they deserve their free time too!) but whenever I have an issue, I usually have to email the maternity triage in my area and they get back to me the next day. I would love to just pop my actual midwife a message since she's the one that sees me! I always assumed I would have direct contact with her, this is my first pregnancy so I'm learning all these things 😂

Afternoon ladies!

Had my quad bloods done yesterday and should have the result back within 2 weeks. Also had my 16 week midwife appointment this morning which went really well, listened to the heartbeat which the midwife found straight away- baby heart rate is 148 which she said is normal!
My midwife is lovely, she gave me her direct number and the number of her team who work 24 hours and said any issues/questions ring her or the team.

Feeling more relaxed this afternoon because i heard the heartbeat, not long until we find out what we are having but i know it’ll drag until Saturday! Got all my fruit soaked for the Christmas cakes i am making for my parents and boyfriend grandma so going to bake them tomorrow to take up most of the day then only Friday to get through!😅

@xalexandra I was given a contact number for the midwifery team so though it's not a direct number to my specific midwife, I can ask for her or speak to another midwife if she isn't there.

@xalexandra Yeah, the further along in my pregnancy I got last time the easier it was as people could tell 😅

Yeah, I have a direct phone number to my midwife to message her if I need to as well as a backup midwife too xx

@xalexandra I have a mobile number for the midwife if I need it, but they said with anything non-urgent to call the main midwife team and they can either help or get her to call me 😊

Re the mat leave conversation, I spent last night going through different options on a spreadsheet to see what I'll be short by etc, when I can request to do KIT/SPLIT days, how much extra I need DH to bring in (he runs a business with a small team) and generally stressing myself out on how it's going to work when I have to go back to work 😂childcare is SO expensive! I mostly WFH so I'm trying to decide how feasible it's going to be to try to care for a little one at the same time as working at least some of the week to save costs (and to not be without baby all week!)....

Sadly I am no use for the Mat pay chat, with my first I owned a Ltd company so it was done via my accountant and then after I had DD and chose to be a SAHM they did all the legal shut downs\selling of items etc. I do know I worked up until around 35 weeks with DD last time, but I know a lot of ladies who worked right up until they could manage so they lengthened out mat leave the other end. They were very tired though especially if they were in physically demanding jobs. I must admit I did get a few raised eyebrows about shutting down a successful business, no one thought I would and neither did I tbh.

@Springblooms08 I have signed up to do a pregnancy yoga/Pilates class as I need to do something for realignment, but I do find when I do too much I get more round ligament pain too. I feel it a bit more then my first pregnancy and I think that's because I have a c section scar. Im hoping the movement helps, I did aqua natal last time and loved it! But it seems to have died a death since 2018/2019 and no where offers it

@xalexandra with my first I had the midwife's mobile number which she never replied to or answered. This time I have a midwife who does reply and encourages us to use it and WhatsApp her questions, and they proved a list with all the community midwives contact numbers as well as the main landlines, I was surprised! That's a lot more then I'm used to.

Hi all!

I'm fairly new here and just catching up on all the posts.

I share your mat leave woes - mine will only pay me 90% for 6 weeks and then ~£150/week thereafter. I haven't really thought about when I'll go on leave and sort of assumed o would wait as late as possible.

Here's a little whinge: I am constantly exhausted though, and still nauseous like 70% of the day and have a persistent cough (caused by acid reflux) which makes my pelvic girdle pain even worse and unbelievably sensitive boobs :'( this is my first pregnancy and I naively thought the tough part was towards the end and once bubs is born. To be totally honest I've been feeling increasingly demoralised but trying very hard not to give in to those feelings. And so I am beginning to feel like I want to go on maternity leave sooner rather than later, but I guess time will tell!

@xalexandra I was given a number to contact the midwifery team rather than my actual midwife. But it is available 24/7. I've actually never met my assigned midwife. She couldn't make our very first appointment and somebody else saw me. And since then it's just been the 13 week scan.

For those who are doing exercise classes, is that online or in-person?

I would love to start some sort of exercise/Pilates and very happy for anyone to recommend me ones they've found useful.
B
efore getting pregnant I wasn't exercising (I wanted to but was

Sorry! The above posted before I had finished writing it! I meant to write:
Before getting pregnant I wasn't exercising (I wanted to but was in a bit of an exercise rut). Anyway, I'm hoping I haven't left it too late to start exercising during pregnancy 🤞

@mummatam I feel you on the exhaustion and nausea. I'm still being sick most days and nauseous all day everyday - it's so debilitating. The exhaustion is really starting to get me down, my poor husband does 99% of the parenting of our DD and I miss her so much because by the time I've finished work and picked her up from nursery I just have to TV parent until her bedtime which my husband does. Last night he called me up to show me that she'd learnt a book they read together off by heart and how amazing it was and afterwards I left the room and cried because I just felt like I'm missing out on so much with her because I'm just so.bloody.tired.

Anyway that's my moan for the day! onwards and upwards! I'm off to London tomorrow with a friend for the night to watch a podcast we listen to live at the palladium and I just hope I can stay awake haha

@mummatam I'm 17 weeks and I'd say my nausea lasts all day still! I'm still taking my anti sickness tablets. It has eased a little bit but it's very much still there all day everyday and constantly on my mind!

@Lid88 @ancienthouse I'm SO superstitious about magpies too, and pregnancy has only made it worse! Every time I see the one, I'm like 'that's it' somethings going to go wrong 😂🤦🏼‍♀️

@Springblooms08 I've been trying to keep up with my regular CrossFit sessions throughout pregnancy...it feels great to be doing some exercise but I feel awful afterwards, like a hangover and super tired too 😅

Big hugs, that doesn't sound easy at all :(
Before this pregnancy, I had big dreams of having all our babies as close together as possible but I've been finding it so hard to do anything these past few months (I haven't cooked in 4 months 😐, I have no idea how those with little kiddos manage it. I am so inspired and in awe of everyone who already has children!

@mummatam
Pregnancy is tough! With or without an older child. Doing some exercise should help the hip pain but it's hard to know what the right intensity is... hopefully your nausea eases up soon!

@Lid88 I feel similar sadness / guilt as my OH is doing a lot of the parenting stuff ATM too, I am finding it too hard to do bath time because DD invariably doesn't want to get out or in and I just can't wrangle with her anymore, I'm not strong enough! Doing a lot of tv parenting as well so sending solidarity! And DD now prefers my DH to change her nappy for some reason, which tbh I'm not complaining about 😅 I do still do bedtime which I treasure as I can lie down so it's easier. I had awful sickness till about 18 weeks and these days my hips are so achey! And so tired! Works been busy lately too. But it's all just a phase isn't it. 💪

Meant to say I had the sickness till about 15 weeks. I'm 18 now!