Due April 2023 💕 into the second trimester 🍂🎇

[Cuppasoupmonster]

Welcome back ladies. Here we are, second trimester 🥰

Thank you all so much ladies for your lists and suggestions. I love this chat so much you're all really helpful 💕

@ancienthouse interesting you say that about the Moses basket as all my friends who have had babies say the exact same thing. Apparently the 'next to me' crib and similar are brilliant and last a lot longer than the Moses basket x

@ancienthouse This is accurate for sure!

I feel so bad for poor DS. Normally, we are adventure buddies and go exploring every weekend - DH works bonkers hours this time of year, so it's often just the two of us running all over town together. Now the poor kid is just stuck in front of the TV or in our (tiny) garden while I languish on the sofa. He's been really clingy and acting up a lot, so I can tell he's unsettled.

@DBS94 I used to Moses basket quite a lot for naps! You can also use the buggy bassinet though. I have pets so it was useful for me to have it off the ground

Slightly behind on the chat - now caught up! Hope everyone is doing ok!

@Longbin something to think about, thanks lovely! On a side note my MIL has an old silver cross pram that she had for my DH (who is now almost 30) that's been out in a leaky crate for all those years. She is hell bent on getting it 'cleaned up' and it's giving me heart palpitations thinking about it 😂😂

Change of direction but is anyone feeling pressure when they pee? I'm 15 weeks tomorrow and feel like I definitely need to wee more often and I feel like I'm desperate to go but it's only a little bit at times. It doesn't feel like a UTI, not sure if there's pressure on my bladder but it's annoying!

Ooh I love a good newborn essentials list! I wrote one for some friends a while back, so I'll copy a summarised version here. It's similar to what others have said but may be additionally helpful 🐥

Next to Me crib - we have the Chicco Next2Me crib but there are plenty of other brands. Easy access to baby in the night. Also acts as a barrier when safely bedsharing (Lullaby Trust and La Leche League have good info on how to do this).

• Moses basket - this can be really good for naps. In reality, many newborn babies tend to prefer to nap on mum or dad anyway but it’s

nice to have something available that is portable and safe, when you’re able to put the baby
down.

• Approx 100 disposable nappies in the first size.
• Blunt edge baby nail scissors or clippers.
• Cotton wool and water or natural, water based and fragrance free wipes for

cleaning baby’s bum. Young babies don’t need to be washed with soap.

• Lots of Muslin cloths - a few different sizes, for burping, wiping, wrapping, etc. A few for every room in the house! Your new most said phrase will be "pass me the muslin"!

• Change mat, table and change caddy so you have all the changing bits nearby and

ready to go. We also got a portable caddy and mat for changing downstairs or when out and about.

• Nappy ointment - I've tried a few and find the Weleda nappy ointment best as a day to day one, it also smells amazing, and metanium cream is good if they get a rash.
• A room thermometer for the bedroom as this will help determine layering, TOG rating

and which blankets or sleep bags to use.

• A baby thermometer for checking baby’s temperature.
• Baby bath. If you have a large sink, you could also use this while your baby fits!
• Clothing - fuss free, breathable cotton & wool outfits are best for babies as they cannot

regulate their own temperature. Steer clear of synthetic materials. Use babygrows because t-shirts ride up. Layering is key for warmth when needed.

• Sleeping - cellular blankets are great as they are breathable. One cotton and one wool

cellular blanket will come in handy. A large muslin or two will be good for wrapping or as a light blanket. Baby sleep bags are also good.

• Stretchy sling and a more structured baby carrier - having both is great. Recommend the Ergobaby. Check out the TICKS guidance for how to use a carrier/sling safely.

• White noise toy or phone app.
• Buggy / pram and carseat.
• Nursing pillow - I have the My Brest Friend and it saved my neck, shoulders and back -

I highly recommend it - esp good after a c section apparently.

• Bouncer - another place to pop baby down safely and when they get more interested in their surroundings they enjoy looking out from the vantage point.
• Last but not least a king or super king sized bed 😂 for comfy bedsharing with baby!

For after birth care with a vaginal birth, particularly if you have a tear, I found lavender baths really good. Mix lavender essential oil (5 drops) with milk and pour into running bath. Also you can make "padsicles" by pouring witch hazel and aloe Vera gel on some maternity pads, wrapping in tin foil and popping them in the freezer. You can even do this way in advance if you want to be organised. Very soothing!

Big cotton undies are also a must have as others have said. I also got the my expert midwife spritz for bits which I liked.

Still catching up 😂 you've all been busy today! Re dummies and sids - breastfeeding protects against Sids and as far as I'm aware, using a dummy also helps but it's not needed if breastfeeding for that protective aspect but if formula feeding it can be helpful. You just need to be careful not to intro too early especially if breastfeeding because it can mask hunger cues @Cuppasoupmonster - I think the recommendation is after 6 weeks.

I didn't use one with DD but miiiight consider for new baby, although probably won't. I feel like it's one more thing to wean them off eventually 😂

@ancienthouse @Cuppasoupmonster Interesting you guys found having formula in the cupboard helpful psychologically even when breastfeeding - I was told the opposite, don't get it in as if you're having a tough time you might cave and use it then regret it/ realise you didn't need to. I never bought any and luckily didn't need to use it. We did struggle at the start but it was with latch because DD was v sleepy. After about 4 days she got the hang of it. I just kept practicing with her and expressing and feeding her colostrum with the syringes for the first few days. I never had pain either really - would always unlatch and re latch her if uncomfortable and think we got the latch right from early on which ofc helped.

@MamaMenna lovely scan! I think girl 💗💞

Totally new topic but has anyone started watching The Empress on netflix?? It's v vgood!!

@Skylark1990 I think it's the same for me as carrying a cardi out with me on a cool day. If I don't take the cardi then I'll definitely get cold. If I know there's a cardi in my bag then I'll probably not need to wear it!

Or how if I know there's no toilets anywhere I'll find it more difficult to hold on than if there are lots of toilets available.

It's definitely a psychological thing for me. I can push through more if I know there's something in reserve if I fail.

I also think this psychological thing might help with the birth this time around. I'm going to book a c section for around 41 weeks, with the hope I'll go into natural labour before that. Having the c section booked might be enough to let my mind and body relax and make a natural labour more likely. My anxiety likes having a back up plan, and having one means I'm less likely to need it.

Talking about prams why are they soo expensive 😅 is it worth getting a bundle or are they just trying to entice you into spending more money? Lol

@Skylark1990 you make a good point about the moses basket being a safe place. I've never used a bouncer but maybe the moses basket might get more use this time around. With DD I just plonked her on a blanket on the floor if I needed to put her down, but that's probably less safe with a 4 year old bombing around the place!!

@Chocolat my pram was ridiculously expensive. I got it sent from Austria as it was the only one I could find that didn't add chemical flame retardants to the covers, which is something I'm a bit paranoid about. I think some UK manufacturers have got better at this in the last few years though and are starting to remove them and use more natural materials etc.
I love my pram though, it has amazing suspension and can power through a muddy field with no bother.

As we have had a few new people on the thread recently, the fb link is here if anyone would like to join fb.me/g/p_aruKACcMRiiehKUN/ww7vAxTz

@ancienthouse ah yes totally get that! I always have to go to the loo before journeys even if I don't actually have to go as something about not being able to makes me feel I need to ... 😅 When did your dd come? Was it earlier than 41 weeks? My DD came at 41+6 so I would probably book it a little later if it were me to give me time but fully get that having the back up plan could help you relax into labour. Although if you book a section will they let you plan the birth centre too?

@Chocolat so expensive! eBay is good for second hand options. The travel system / bundle thing is often a good deal - if you have a car etc!

@Skylark1990 DD came at 41+4 but they won't let me book a section later than 41 weeks. I can always cancel it if I get to 41 weeks and say I want to keep waiting, I think. They won't let me in the birth centre if I go past 41 weeks anyway, it becomes higher risk with the placenta functioning less well in "older" women or something. It's a tiny risk but they're so risk averse.

I think I'm going to end up with about 7 different birth plans for every eventuality!

Gosh is anybody allowed in the MLUs? They seem to be a waste of money through underuse - my local maternity trust releases stats every month and less Johan 10% of babies are born in them 🤯 madness when you consider they’re at least half the size of the CDU and right next door. I’m really going to push to use mine as it’s the only way I will get the use of a pool, which I reckon is my only shot at not having an epidural.

*less than, wtf?!

@Skylark1990 as my birth guru, I don’t suppose you know if using a pessary before ARM makes labour without a drip more likely? If that makes sense. I’ve heard that ‘second time mums are often dilated enough to go straight to ARM’ but not sure if I want that.

It's crazy how many women they turn away from the MLUs, it's just ridiculous. They should be more available to all.

Cuppasoup I actually don't know that! I know that pessary introduces the hormones for labour and ARM can kick start contractions so I assume doing both would give you a better shot at avoiding the drip, but I guess as it's two forms of intervention, doing both could more likely stress baby out and put you more on the clock?

I would actually prefer less separation between MLU and labour wards. I was talking to the midwife who was with me when I had my section and she was saying where she had worked previously, there was only one delivery unit for everyone. It was like a hybrid approach. Pools available, equipment available, and no agonising over which unit you should be going to. They had the relaxing feel of the MLU but also could do things like epidurals. That sounds ideal to me.

Catching up from a few threads ago - wow things have moved fast! So lovely to see your scan pics and happy news. Hope everyone is starting to feel more human too! Had our 12 week scan last week and it's nice that all our family/friends knows! Any ideas as to boy or girl?? I'm useless at nub theory 🙈