Due April 2023 💕 into the second trimester 🍂🎇

[Cuppasoupmonster]

Welcome back ladies. Here we are, second trimester 🥰

I was wondering this. I found breastfeeding hard to get going as my baby was a 37 weeker, tiny and sleepy, so she had expressed breast milk and formula for about a month until she put on some weight and got stronger. Then she took to breastfeeding very easily and no issues for either of us - I was very lucky, didn’t even get sore nips! I did have oversupply though which meant she was a bit gassy and I soaked through a lot of pyjamas and sheets at night 😷

Also I know it’s controversial - just stating what helped me - but I found having a back up bottle and carton of formula actually helped with breastfeeding. It can be a bit up and down to start with, and I didn’t want to be struggling with a midnight feed with a fussy baby finding it hard to latch etc. Just knowing it was there for emergencies helped me to relax.

I was exactly the same. I was very very pro breastfeeding and formula would have been a last resort. But having a bottle in the cupboard was like a safety net and it made me feel like I had an option when I was in the depths of cluster feeding. It helped me keep going psychologically. For the same reason I also bought a dummy even though I don't like them. I never used it, it was just good to know I had an option when I was fed up of having a baby attached to my nipple!

Sent too soon!
I then lost that safety net once my DD was diagnosed with CMPA because she could only have my breastmilk or one very specific prescription formula that would have been a pain in the bum to get hold of. It was a relief when she got old enough to eat solids and have oat milk because she wasn't totally reliant on me feeding her. I was terrified something would happen to me and she wouldn't have any milk!

I didn’t use a dummy with DD but I’m quite determined to use one this time - she didn’t really have a ‘comforting habit’ and cried a lot, my sister used to just pop her son’s dummy in and it calmed him! She wasn’t a very ‘sucky’ baby - she was an efficient feeder but found it boring and would unlatch the moment she was finished. She needed constant stimulation and play even when she was very small otherwise she would be raging! 😂 Dummies also lower SIDS risk I believe?

I think the evidence is that dummies only lower SIDS risk if you've always used them. Basically if you use one then take it away, that increases the risk. So if you use a dummy it's better to always use it.

DD was a boob fiend and I'm not sure she would have accepted a dummy anyway. She's still boob mad at 3 years old! I didn't mind because as long as she had that she was happy and rarely cried in the daytime. I think it soothed her tummy/gut before we realised she had allergies so it was even more of a comfort for her.

Nub guesses welcome 😊
Did the nipt so should find out next week!

Question for Consultant led ladies, I don't suppose you could tell me when your first consultant appointment is? Previous EMCS so I'm down to see a consultant at some point and I'm just wondering when to expect that appointment roughly. Going back into a hospital seems to be setting off some sort of ptsd anxiety response so I'm thinking the more I can plan the better it'll be maybe.

@lj2022 you definitely don’t need a bath on a stand! First baths here are always in the sink until outgrown. A bath on a stand will be heavy and awkward to fill and empty.

I think get the basics (car seat, nappies, wipes, changing mat, some clothes, a next to me crib or moses basket) and an Amazon prime membership and you’re good to go. Some of the things on the lists here were clearly really helpful to the poster listing, but I didn’t/wouldn’t have used. It’s very individual in the end. ☺️

@MamaMenna I'm going to go with girl 💖 that is a lovely scan picture! I'm no nub expert though but it just felt girl when I saw it

@Cuppasoupmonster I never used infacol or a pramsuit. Initially I used blankets, until a bit more mobile. I did find the star blankets amazing though. So many people gifted me pram suits that went unworn. I just can’t stuff newborn arms and legs into one, and they can’t be used in car seats anyway.

Again, all very individual! ☺️

Thats interesting I didn’t know that so thank you!

DD was a very ‘independent’ baby (unusual I know!) and not especially cuddly (something I hadn’t anticipated!). She’s still the same now at 3, she doesn’t really ask for cuddles etc but will reciprocate if I make her cuddle me I was the same as a kid, so think she just takes after me! Thinking the next one might be a bit more reticent, I don’t think there’s room in this house for 2 kids like DD! DH says she’ll just be thrilled to have a minion to boss around 😂 have you told your daughter yet?

@Gilm0reGirl My first consultant appointment isn't until I'm 22 weeks. And it's a phone appointment. I'm hoping I can just tell them what I want and they'll let me have it, and then I won't need any more consultant intervention.

I'm at a different hospital this time which I'm happy about, I was worried about having flashbacks and things.

Mine was at 9 weeks but I have a few things going on so they keep a very, very close eye on me. I just had a ton of appointments and scans through lasting until March 🤯 from what I’ve heard from others it’s usually after the 20 week scan?

@Gilm0reGirl my consultant appt is on 25th oct

Oh I’m really hoping this too. I’m not scared of childbirth again but I don’t want to look back and have regrets again about not querying my care or pushing for something more tailored to me rather than ‘high risk women’ per se.

I’ve written quite a detailed birth plan which I’m going to present to my consultant after the anomaly scan. 20 weeks is quite early but I don’t want to wait until 30+ and then have them ‘forget about it because you only mentioned it one’ or whatever. It’s on my mind a lot at the moment.

How are you feeling?

@Cuppasoupmonster yes I told DD the other day. Have you told yours? I was going to wait longer but it seemed the right time. She was so excited and asked lots of questions. Now every day she asks if the baby is coming out today!
I got this book yesterday too and it's absolutely lovely.
www.waterstones.com/book/theres-a-house-inside-my-mummy/giles-andreae/vanessa-cabban/9781841210681

Bless her! No I’ve not said anything yet. Although she looked at me knowingly and poked me in the tummy the other day 😬 once I tell her it will be all she talks about, so I’m thinking after the anomaly scan - only 5 weeks to go!

Agree with Lapin, what's one person's essentials list isn't another's, very individual beyond the absolute basics. I think don't overbuy unless it's things you'll want without notice at unsociable hours!

@Gilm0reGirl mine is at 21 weeks

Thanks @Gilm0reGirl :) It seemed pretty fancy equipment, never seen colour on an ultrasound before, she was using it to do examinations of some of the organs. She even pointed out she could see the lenses of the eyes!

Thank you ladies! That's really helpful

Maybe I should expect it around the 20 week mark then.

@ancienthouse I'm also at a different hospital, honestly I wouldn't go back
to the other one ever again, I'm also glad to be trying somewhere new.

Im not really scared of childbirth, I desperately want a VBAC and I won't go into my DD birth but it was really the days after along with other things section related I want to avoid again. However I spent most of this year in and out of various hospitals with my dying dad and just walking down those corridors to my scan and the maternity ward I started to get upset.

They all look the same, no matter the hospital, and I can't even count the amount of times my brothers and I and our mum lived in those corridors walking up and down as numbers were restricted on the wards, waiting to take turns to see him. Then I'd be the one who stayed late on my own into the night as he was on end of life care so they let me stay with him and it's those bloody corridors. Luckily he passed away in a hospice but I didn't anticipate the sense of sadness and dread I felt going into the hospital for my scan. Not very good for Labour oxytocin! I'll be going in at 10cm ready to push if I can get away with it 😂

@Gilm0reGirl poor you is the maternity ward in the main hospital? I’m lucky in that our local hospital has the CDU, MLU and scan/obstetrician clinics all in the same (detached) building, it’s quite modern and has a nice feel to it unlike my previous hospital. Remember they can’t make you do anything! Do you mind if I ask the reason for the c-section? I read that if it was for breech etc then it shouldn’t really affect things next time.

Place marking so I don't lose this!

Told DS this weekend that he'll be getting a baby brother or a baby sister and that the baby is in mummy's belly, and that's why she's been so sick. I don't think it sunk in though, so I'll have to try and find some books to get the message across. Ideally ones where the mummy throws up a lot, can get out of bed and will only eat toast.

Hilariously the dogs absolutely know I'm pregnant. BoyDog keeps putting his head on my stomach and staring at me meaningfully.

@allfurcoatnoknickers
I really felt this page from "there's a house inside my mummy" 😂