Due July 08 - Second Trimetster :)

[PaulaYatesbiggestfan]

Hello all sorry to start this without warning but feeling terribly left out as my pc is broken and dp's crashes at the sight of such a huge thread
So here we are!
Cant even get the register to do a 'roll call'!

sweetkitty - glad you think that sling looks good - I am quite inexperienced sling wise, and because it is a new product there seems to be very little feedback on it. I saw it at a baby fair and liked it there.

"Hatrick" thanks for reply. I have read the other post you were on about all that you went through. I am pleased that things are looking better for you. I think you are very brave carrying on with only scans. I am so confused.
My first ds was born almost 16 yrs ago with right hand and lower arm missing. Although I know this is a totally different thing i had had 7 scans throughout pregnancy and noone told me. The shock at birth of my first baby was huge. I had huge feelings of guilt and suffered severe PND. I have had depression problems ever since especially PND.
Today I am very weepy and know that I can't go for next 5 months not knowing...but terrified of causing miscarriage of what could be perfectly healthy baby. I probably would continue with pregnancy whatever but for my sanity and the happiness of my other dc and dh I think I must find out....MAYBE!!! Oh I don't know..
Also my hosp don't put any weight on soft markers although they say they will scan me on Tuesday and will tell me if they see any before I make final decision on amnio!!

Thanks for support...love to you...good luck!

Sorry for enormous post!!

Not posted for a while so lots to catch up on! You lot can talk

Gosh Susan what a difficult situation to be faced with. So sorry that you are having to deal with this. Like others have said, would whether you have an amnio depend on what you think you might do with the results? If I was certain I wouldn't terminate even if we knew absolutely 100% that there were abnormalities I'd have to think twice about having the test, although not being sure might make it difficult for the rest of the pregnancy with the uncertainty. Really feel for you.

Re: Contented Little Baby, I borrowed this from a friend, but it was far too rigid for our lifestyle and as we were getting on ok-ish without very strict routines I couldn't really see the point of making my life more difficult! I know some people though who got on with it very well so guess it depends what sort of baby you get and what you feel you need. Her potty training book though was a lot more common sense and worked brilliantly for ds.

Hello to newcomers, there are loads of us on the list now! Late sept/oct must have been a busy time for "relations"

Have been sick again for the last couple of days which is annoying as I thought it had gone away. It's loads better than it was although I am still a stone lighter that when I fell pregnant, and have not put any weight on since I came out of hospital for the last time just before xmas. How I don't know because my poor boobs are gigantic, I really think they grew in a day during the week as I had a stretch mark in the evening that I'm sure wasn't there in the morning! Revolting veiny blue puffy things that my poor boobies are.

Also I've got a varicose vein appearing on my thigh- anyone else getting these yucky things?

Wow mammoth post sorry- will make sure I do more frequent smaller ones in future!

Susan this must be such a difficult decision for you, if all your PND/depression issues are so tied into it must be really hard to unravel them all. Just wanted to send love and kind thoughts xxxx

Morning all,
Sorry to hear about the results scottishsusan.I have seen lots of amnios at work, and most people say its uncomfortable but it's not painful.The choice to have it is very individual,on a personal note dd1 was high for neural tube defect and we took up the offer of lots of scans.Im the sort of person who would rather know what to expect.All was fine in the end , but either way i would have wanted to know.You might want to ask your consultant how many amnios he carries out as the more they do the lower the misscarrige rate tends to be.Try to stay positive,i will be thinking of you.
twinkle

ScottishSusan sorry to hear about your test results. Like others say Its a personal choice.
Have a good long chat with DH/P and discuss what you would do if did find out the worse.

Be thinking of you on tuesday. At least they are offering you the scan first to help you make up your mind.

On a lighter note..

Just been out shopping. Treated myself to a new cardigan, 2 sets of PJ's and 2 tops.- Retail therapy
Then popped into Sainsburys to stock up on baby tolietries. They have an offer on at the mo. Half price on baby toiletries, ie Baby bath, shampoos,talcs,creams,cotton buds,materntiy pad etc. Their own brands and all the Johnsons range.
Not sure how long the offers on for so we stocked up on quite a bit of bath products.

susan you poor thing

i m your age and with the exact same children as you...
personally and these decisions can only be personal choice as there is no right or wrong way..i would just go with scans.
your result is twice as unlikely as when you walked into the scan.

all my children are sooo different and some not at all my ideal but they are what i was sent. i am not a bit religious but would not terminate due to ds only a life threatening condition

that said.....

if you feel you truly need to know then amnio may be the way foraward or cvs

how soon could you have it done? have you got anyone to help you with the other bairns for a week or so after as you will need to rest and that means REST

Please come back and talk some more or cat me - i hate to think of you worrying yourself rigid over this x

susan you poor thing

i m your age and with the exact same children as you...
personally and these decisions can only be personal choice as there is no right or wrong way..i would just go with scans.
your result is twice as unlikely as when you walked into the scan.

all my children are sooo different and some not at all my ideal but they are what i was sent. i am not a bit religious but would not terminate due to ds only a life threatening condition

that said.....

if you feel you truly need to know then amnio may be the way foraward or cvs

how soon could you have it done? have you got anyone to help you with the other bairns for a week or so after as you will need to rest and that means REST

Please come back and talk some more or cat me - i hate to think of you worrying yourself rigid over this x

Thanks all for support!

I feel awful...just crying all the time!

I feel I need to know not because I would terminate but because 1. I want to be reassured and then enjoy rest of pregnancy and 2. if anything wrong I would have time to prepare and get used to it

.....is the risk of amnio too great? or
.....will I do myself more damage by worrying myself sick for 5 months?..

OMG yesterday morning I felt great actually felt like I was "blooming"...had some nice new maternity clothes and was "happy"....what a difference a day makes....

you poor lamb

i dont know what to say - i think its good that it is the weekend and you have a couple of days to absorb the news and decide what to do

i dont know of any one who has m/c after amnio and i have been having babies like you a fair while!

are you errring toward the amnio? if so calm yourself thinking that soon you will know...

otherwise like hatrick you could maybe pay for a private scan and see what that says...

i only had the private nuchal and bloods so am unsure about trile test results - did you not have nuchal?

is there a private screening centre local to you?

Nuchal screening not offered here and it's too late now to do this private. Authority don't put much weight on soft markers although I will get detailed scan before making final decision on amnio and they say they will tell me if they see any...will this be a help though?

Think I am erring towards the amnio....

I am eating loads of chocolate and bought a lot of rubbish today at shops ...also going to have huge take out meal tonight!!

Always helps a bit eh.....

Thanks for kind thoughts... I may try to CAT you Paula - haven't done this before and have just subscribed so I'll try ....

good susan - i tried to CAT you the other day to tell you why we were twins but you had not subscribed!

Susan - don't know what to say but wanted to add my support, I have been thinking of you and what I would do in your case and I think I would have the amnio and know rather than not know and worry for the next 5 months. The thing is you are double the risk if you had just walked in off the street given your age IYKWIM and I think 1 in 236 is pretty good odds, but as everyone else has said it's a personal decision there is no right or wrong unfortunately. Have a look at www.healthcarenow.co.uk they are in Edinburgh and offer a variety of scans, you could phone and ask to speak to a consultant, tell them your dilemma and see what they suggest. We will all be here for you no matter what, try not to stress to much (I know not easy) x

Hi all

Susan - not sure what to say, but sending you hugely supportive thoughts! On a personal level, I don't know of anyone who's miscarried after an amnio, and I know 5 people who've had one done. A very close friend had an amnio when her risk level came out as 1 in 110, she said she wouldn't terminate if she got a positive downs result, she wanted to know for definate so that she could prepare her other kids, the eldest was 10 at the time. The result was negative and she was really glad she'd found out. As everyone else has said though, it's a very personal decision, get as much advice and info as you can.

Jodie - ha ha! glad your dh doesn't hate me anymore!! Have you looked on the mulitples thread? The ladies on there have given loads of great advice about double buggies - the Jane and the Nipper seem to come out top? I'm going to go and have a look at some in the flesh soon!

Susan - I really feel for you.
I was 35 when I was preganant with DD and our risk was 1 in 220. It hit me like a bolt out of the blue especially as just 2 years previously with DS it was something like 1 in 950.

I had the amnio as I absolutely needed to know. The proceedure was not too uncomfortable but I was extremely distressed at the thought of miscarring a healthy baby.

I was lucky and everything was fine - but I feel so traumatised by it that this time we are not having the tests as I feel sure that I will be even higher risk now I am 3 years older and I want to enjoy the pregnancy.I just use the mantra 'a healthy happy baby' whenever I think of any risks.

Whatever decision you make will be the right one for you. Stay strong and I'm sending you loads of positive vibes.

sweetkitty - i think susan is half the risk than if she had walked in off the street....

Scottishsusan - just wanted to add my support to that of others. I think i would have to have an amnio to prepare me or allow me to relax, but it is such a hugely personal choice.

Not been on for a while seem to be having a sleepy stage again!

Debating pushchairs also, want one with a pram bit and reversable pushchair - looking at silver cross linear freeway, or urban detour quantum but DH not keen on spending that much. Any one got any thoughts??

Mummywannabe-

I wanted the same things in my pram/pushchair. I have bought this one:
here

Expensive on Mothercare but i got mine (COMPLETE PACKAGE -ie with car seat) brand new from an Ebay shop for £350 so you can get it cheaper.

Dh was also concerned about cost but swung him by saying that the Carrycot will save us buying a travel cot for when we visit friends and family.

Thanks pigleychez - that one looks fab. Think Dh has resigned himself to the fact!

Just a quick post tonight, just spent ages catching up and wanted to send big hugs to Susan, I can't even start to imagine what you're going through, but my thoughts are with you, so good luck on Tuesday, and I'm sure whatever you decide to do it will be with the baby's best interests in mind.

Susan - all the best for Tuesday.

Baby Whisperer is good - you can follow her 'routine' or you can use it to dip into as a 'problem solving' book.

Paula - I thought it was 1 in 110 just for age and 1 in 236 after so twice as likely after IYSWIM is that right????

Susan - thinking of you today

Isn't it lovely to see some sunshine is it all over the country? We went to the park and to feed the swans and ducks. Was lovely up until DD1 whinging about wanting carried on our short walk back to the car. Used to give in to her but am refusing now as I won't be able to carry her when hugely pregnant. Think she will be in the double buggy and DD2 walking.