Due in June 2008: bring on the bumps! (and that's before Christmas meals!)

[aberdeenhiker]

The last message I posted seems to have filled up the old thread so I thought I'd start a new one.

Since bump size was our last topic, I thought this might do for a thread title.

Happy New Year everyone - my you all have moved on, A LOT!!!prams, nappies...! Interested to read about moving DC1 into bed. DD will be 15 months when DC2 arrives is that too early for a bed with guard? Hoping to get away with Moses basket for about a month and DD can stay in cot (which converts to a bed)

katyjo sorry to hear about your row. Hope he feels bad later...we are in the throes of to childmind or not to childmind at the moment, as I am getting into a situation where I am turning down work and it's all very 'delicate'.

Am 17 weeks today, saw midwife and persuaded her to let me hear heartbeat. Fortunately they found it. Is it the same everywhere that midwives won't let you hear it, in case they can't find it??
Is anyone else feeling distinctly 'unpregnant'? It's very disconcerting. I am still in normal clothes and feel completely normal. Am back in maternity bras though....

Still reading through so sorry not to catch up with everyone. Nice to be back though.

I've found the thread - 20 pages of it - here

omg that is just wrong masterbation during labour why!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

btw debs what on earth are you doing up at this mad hour???? My excuse is I'm for some reason often crap at going to bed when dh away, plus, am desperately trying to complete my meal plan which I've been meaning to do for ages and am feeling stubborn and WILL COMPLETE IT:

Can't promise to stick to it tho.

Hi ga4

Well, going on my experience, sling 'er in a bed, that's what I say. I reckon the younger the better, within reason. Mine enever went on nocturnal wanderings, too young to think up the mischief and climb out too I reckon.

sorry, didn't mean to ignore your plight katyjo. Well, don't really know what to say. I would feel livid, enraged, furious, murderous, decidedly dangerous if I got a comment like that. And no way would I be making dinner and putting kid into bed. I'm sure there are some good ones out there, but men, on the whole in my experience are lazy cheeky bastards. Give 'em an inch and they'll take a mile.

I'm so hormonal atm, if I were in your position I'd be needing scraping off the eiling. Ignore him for the next 2 months. At least. And don't cook, or at least make him fish fingers and chicken bloody nuggets every night. Or get him a Happy Meal. Nice and cold and congealed. Then take to your bed in a huff.

I'm a professional marriage guidance counsellor (in my spare time). Can you tell?

I know, I know, it's late and we have to be up at 6 to take mil to the airport, getting carried away drooling over new baby things on the net!!!

yes, you've all set me off. if you spot anything exciting, let me know. It's all changed so much. Honestly, when I had ds1 there were only about 2 different slings on the market. Now there's just zillions. And as for cocoons. well I never. He's not even 9, you'd think he was 22 or something.

you going to get your boys apresent from the baby? Ds3 kindly, in utero, chose an action man each for ds1 & 2. They still remember it. so cute. Dunno if they'd fall for it this time. Mind you, they still seem to believe in santa and the tooth fairy. odd if you ask me.

nearly finished my meal plan btw

debs you should not have found that link i will have nightmares tonight

ernest lol your hormons are high tonight, i love the just sling her in a bed, good point about being to young to make up mischief though.

Katyjo hope your not so dh enjoys his cold mcdonalds tomorrow night and he gets his finger out and starts being nicer to you.

finally finished meal pla.

I look forward to a list of needless but exciting baby treats/gadgets. I deally some off the wall ones, just for a laugh. I sem to remember seing a shoulder/neck strap for a car seat as if holding it by the handle is so bad, hanging a 10llb kid plus car seat around your bloody neck. my God, you've gotta wonder haven't oyu?

Anyway, I'm done, I'm knackered. I go bed. I suggest you develop pg insomnia and toss and turn (kicking him in the bollocks while you're at it) all night Katyjo.

As long as you're not working tomorroww, so you can 'swan around' all day doing nothing while he has to hobble into work ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha

anyway, ahem good night.

crikey, only came on for v quick look and there's pages more! DH chasing me off the computer now...

But very quickly katyjo - sorry your DH being a total PITA. I'm having my scan at company called 'Heathcare now' in the centre of Edinburgh. A few people I know have used it and recommended it. Prices pretty much £150 for the detailed anatomy scan at all the clinics I contacted in Edinburgh. Extra for dvd's and all that kind of stuff if it floats your boat.

Right going to bed and def not ready to think about the birth yet! Cant we talk about cute nursery stuff or something instead????

Wow parofleur - that "friend" of yours sounds annoying! One common thing I've noticed is that almost everyone I know who's had babies is very keen to tell me what to do and how I should be feeling!
I'm feeling okay now am in week 18, but my preggers pal is the same as you - fine first tri, knackered now.
And if one more person tells me not to have a homebirth "because I tried that with XX and had a 48 hour labour followed by a c section on crack". Honestly. Everyone is different!
Arrgh! Rant over...

systemsaddict Just wanted to say thanks for your comprehensive list - I've cut and pasted it into word!

Was looking at pushchairs today following the buggy talk and I think I've decided which one I wanted - the Jane Slalom Pro - but it did seem quite big - in fact they all did - are all buggies massive these days?!

Found out I have 24 days holiday work insists I take between now and the start of my mat leave. Harhar! Am having the last three and a bit weeks off, and going down to four day week for the last two months. Woo!

ChinaSuprise - being forced to take all that time off before going on leave sounds fabulous. I think I'm going to have to start taking a bunch as I'm exhausted (and was in the first trimester too).

I wish I could put the birth out of my mind this time - I had a 20 hour labour, with 8 hours of hard labour and while it was fine medically, it was stressful and I'm hoping to avoid the confrontation with midwives about my birth choices this time by not letting them bully me around. For first timers my only advice is to trust yourself! You can tell how your labour is progressing better than anyone else and none of us are ideally average. (No orgasm or anything sexually enjoyable about the experience I'm relieved to report!)

katyjo, dh could stand for d*mn husband too. I'm in the opposite but still the same situation - I work full time but do all the unrewarding parenting duties. DH excels at cuddling, playing, bedtime stories... but isn't helping with the tougher jobs of enforcing rules, cleaning up, supervising dinner (currently a nightmare), etc. He doesn't even see that he's leaving me with all the crap work - and it's making my DS prefer my husband since all they do is play whereas I'm enforcing behaviour and doing chores.

I do not know how single mums who WOTH manage - they must be superwomen.

Hospital - Dorchester
Elective C section about a week before hand so around 20th June.

That's my birth sorted out.

We tried reusable nappies with DD but as B&Bwashing took priority then gave up and sold.

Just been to Nurse as she had a tantrum at nursery as she wanted to play in the mud, fell over banged her head, had nosebleed and then cried so much she passed out for about 2 minutes (passing out usual 2 minutes isn't) they say she is fine so she is now snuggled on the sofa watching Cheese and Diddy (Wallace and Gromit) and about to have a light lunch before snooze time.

Hope all is well with everyone else

I am lucky my dh is lovely and when he gets home one of us cooks and the other does bedtime. i work 4 days and on my day off he doesn't expect miracles cos he knows how time consuimg Ellen is. The first time I left them alone was for 2 nights when I went on a hen w/e and she was 6 months - think it was a baptism of fire for him!!!!

gr1973 - I forget if you said you have a car or not. My mate has the jane slalom and I had anightmare getting it into a ford ka one day cos it didn't fit in the boot. Mothercare etc will take it out to check it fits in boot for you

getting all confused - chinhiker it was you getting the jane not gr1973. Dippy me

Katyjo I meant to say thinking of you

nope i'm the bugaboo bee pram person! I did find mothercare good at checking boot size and also showing how to fit a car seat.

chinasurprise - I found a lot of prams looked huge, it put me off having a closer look at all...

aberdeenhiker - sorry to hear that your last labour was so ardous, I do hope its a bit better this time around. I'm planning hospital birth, but only thing concerning me is my local hospital has higher than average intervention stats, emergency c-sections etc and I worry that my lack of experience will stop me sticking up for what I want.

Vinorouge - I am also v lucky with DH who does way more than his fair share, but I still manage to give him a hard time .

Hello all,

Some of the dog poo has gone but not all of it, I think they just moved the bits they think I can see from my window but not the rest.

I had a scan and everything seems fine. It's getting to within days of being in the same stage of pregnany when I lost my first so I'm feeling really flakey and even though everything was fine at the scan I feel more upset now than I did before, I guess it just reminds that this pregnancy is as likely to fail as succeed and generally I can keep positive. I'm 20 weeks tommorow and haveing my 20 week scan next week, hopefully my cervix will still be the same then too.

Thanks for the car boot advice all. We have a Peugeot 307, which has a decent boot, but it's deffo worth a check and I'm such a newbie I hadn't thought of it.

Aberdeenhiker. Tell me to shut up, but have you sat DH down and had a word? He'd probably in denial about doing the tough jobs because deep down he wants to be the popular one. I fear my DH may be the same as he keeps going on about how I'll be the strict one and he'll be the one they come to and ask to bend the rules. Grrrr. Why don't they get how important consistency is?

GR1973 - re hosp intervention - is it a large centre? Often the biggest regional hospitals end up with higher intervention rates because they get complicated cases referred to them, which distorts the figures. It's worth checking out. Other than that, I am new to this, but can I suggest you look into getting a doula? Your DH can still be your birthing partner, but lots of studies have shown that having a woman BP as well reduces intervention rates, basically because when men see their partners in distress they start putting on pressure re drugs/ c section etc because they are so worried about seeing their DW in pain. A woman BP tends to be calmer in these situations apparently (not the one actually giving birth - haha!) You can track down a doula through the UK Homebirthing Network (google)

Finally, g43, I have so much empathy with you right now. I'm in a similar position. This is my first pg, but as you know I'm also at a heightened risk of losing at 20 weeks. I'm trying not to think about it, but it is hard not to worry. Hopefully this difficult time will pass for both of us and all will be well. You're in my thoughts.

China

keeping my fingers crossed for you goingfor3! I hope it goes well next week!

My scan's next friday too - 9 days - I'm nervous and excited, I think it wasn't until my 20 week scan last time that I felt like I really was having a baby instead of just being ill. The fact that my belly's much bigger this time has helped it feel real.

And I shouldn't complain about my DH, he tries hard and does a ton, we're just struggling under really heavy workloads at the moment.

gr1973 - actually I found that once I saw the obstetrician during DS's birth, everything improved and she was amazing at encouraging me to push him out myself even with an epidural. I'd been to the NCT childbirth classes and was afraid of being talked into intervention but it was completely the opposite!

Im not long home from having a lovely pregnancy massage oh it was heaven and i can actually walk normally again without my legs locking at my lower back so im delighted.

Prams do seem massive these days, I had a Britax with DS and I didnt have a car he went everywhere in that pram and i did weekly shops, it was so over used the frame snapped, britax sent me a part for it but it was never quite the same though it was well used and he was 3 at the time. DDs pram was a nightmare to get into the car but DH changed our car to a smaller car after we bought the pram(which he regretted) now we have a huge car so space shouldnt be an issue

Aberdeenhiker, I was a full time employed single mother with DS and to be honest alot of the time it was easier being on your own, it was only me and him to please, I know what you mean about kids prefering there dads though, as DH works away he lets them off with alot more than I CAN or unfolds all the good work I have put in when he is away, but on the other hand when he is home I dont lift a finger apart from to play with dd and iron he wont touch ironing oh well!

g34 meant to say glad your scan went well and I really hope the next couple of weeks pass ok for you I cant imagine how hard it must be.hugs

ChinaSurprise - I have talked to DH about it and he is working on it - he's a sweetie and I know I'm lucky to have him. (But no offense taken!).

Our problem is that he (being a typical man) reacts more to DS crying and is more easily manipulated by DS. So it's not that he doesn't try, just that I can smell fake tears from miles away and he's completely gullible (brought up in a family of men!). That makes enforcing rules difficult when DS is wailing (because he can't do something he really shouldn't, like eat his pudding before his dinner!).

And hugs and fingers crossed for you too CS - it's scary enough with a regular pregnancy! You've both reminded me how lucky most of us are.

ChinaSurprise I'm so sorry you have to go through this worry too, it's so crappy.

I've been feeling really miserable and tearful today and it just struck me it's because today was my due date for my last pregnancy. I had managed to block it from my mind fairly well and I am at least very thankful to have another chance now if I wasn't oregnant it would be far more devastating.

G43 - sorry to hear about your situation. Hope you can keep positive and your 20 week scan is here before you know it!

Chinasurprise - yes it is a big hospital and serves quite a large area so I guess that's a good point. I've heard mixed reviews but I think that you get mixed reviews about just about every hospital! People's experiences (and more importantly, their expectations) are different so you just have to roll with it I think. I have been in touch with NCT about ante-natal classes actually and they haven't gotten back to me. It's been over a week now. Anyway, that's all nothing compared to the worry that you and G43 have just now. I've had two mc's so I can understand what you're both going through

Just read through the last day. What a lot has happened!

Goingfor3 - these anniversaries are tough. Even though I'm pregnant now and I only mc at 6 weeks, every time I see someone who is due in April, I feel .

Katyjo, sorry you were having a tough time with your dh. How are you doing today?

Ernest, yikes. Who are these mad people? Am burying my head back in the sand again re birth particularly after that thread.

Meal plan ... for the whole family? Very impressed.

China, love the idea of all that leave! How come you have to take it beforehand rather than when you go back though?

Evening all - thanks for the lovely messages re the worry - it is an odd time. I've had to tell work I'm pg cos it's just so obvious, and I'm looking at buggies, but at the same time there's this little cloud hanging over. Hopefully my scan (Mon 21) will put my mind at rest.
G43 - no wonder you're feeling down today then. I am sending hugs! It is so hard to look on the bright side but whenever I'm low I try to think of my friend who is due a few weeks after me. Her older DH had a v/s before divorce and then met and married her. He had it reversed successfully - but then she was menopausal at 30! She's been through four fertility treatment cycles and is now pg after finally going to Turkey, where it's cheaper. Then her bloody local trust wouldn't prescribe her progesterone and she had to go back to Turkey to get a prescription!!! She's really on her last chance and this is just my first go so I am trying to count my blessings (not always easy tho).
ANYWAY, re the holiday, my company's policy is that you take all your holiday entitlement up to and including the first six months of ML before you go on ML. It means you can start your ML on your due date and still have bags of time off before - all companies should do it imo. If you give birth early they just tack it on the end of you ml. And you get an extra month salary spread over the year you go back to help with childcare. Not bad.
Aberdeen - it's just hard to both be working at the end of the day, isn't it?! I told my mum I'd only breastfeed for six months and got a lecture - she had seven years off work having me and my two DBs - she doesn't seem to get the difference!
Ho hum.
Anyway, in case any of you are short of cash, can I just recommend the yahoo freecycle groups? They do different ones for local areas and I just got a baby gym and a stack of newborn nappy wrappers today for nowt - that's £50 I don't have to worry about!
Ttfn
China