August 2008, anyone want to join for the very early days!

[Gemzooks]

Have DS, 13 months. Stopped bf in Oct and immediately got pg but was chemical preg which I lost at 5 weeks. Now got BFP today, very excited. Quite faint line but definitely a line.

Anyone want to join?

Oh SKF, it's crap being treated like that, you're right to feel p*ed off. Do you have any idea how many weeks you might be?

That seems odd SKF, don't they have community midwives at your gp's surgery? You could always check out your local Primary Care Trusts (PCT) website via www.nhs.co.uk This should give you an idea of what's available locally, plus give you contact numbers. Good luck. Rubbish of your gp to do that though

Have got my seabands on at the mo and thus feeling better than yesterday. Still look like shit on a stick though!! Spotty, greasy, grey skin, black bags under eyes...adorable!! Plus house is a tip and I don't know where to start. Think I'll go out with ds!!!

Hope you ladies are all doing ok today?

Hi girls

SKF I agree with the others, that is shocking, and it doesn't matter that you're first time, I still feel anxious and this is my 4th pregnancy, hopefully my 3rd successful one.

Captain am glad you've got your bands on, they really helped me when sick with dd1. my house is an absolute disaster too, I have to collect girls at 1pm and haven't even made the shower yet today. Am feeling a bit down as was told last night that my mum's chemo doesn't seem to be working this time so god knows what next. I also have to start back on nightshift tonight and don't want to tell anyone about being pg until after scan in 3 weeks.

gosh, its all just woe is me me me today - sorry!!!!!

SKF that's terrible that they treated you so casually.

When I found out I was pregnant I went to my local women's clinic to have it confirmed, which it was. Because I was quite thrown / upset they then organised a counselling session for me at which they made it clear that I didn't have to have the baby, blah blah blah. But once the counselling session was over they:

1. didn't phone to see was I ok or did I want another session
2. didn't give me a referral to a hospital
3. never even mentioned to me that I would need to book in, choose a hospital, etc.

I thought it was dreadful. As I have had a baby before I was able to organise things for myself once I got my head together, straight to hosp without a referral letter, but if I'd been a first timer I'd have been just set adrift.

I am in Ireland so I don't know how things operate in the UK but I think there should be a sort of pregnancy welcome pack for everyone. When you get your test confirmed you get the pack & it has info on choosing hospital, birth options, food advice (you have only to look at a few MN threads to see conflicting views on caffeine, alcohol, soft cheese, elderly mayo, raw fish etc), expected weight gains, how to look after yourself, what to worry about, what to relax about, etc.

If I were Minister for Health I would instigate such a pack and perhaps a DVD to go with it. Hmm note to self enter politics asap.

Hi VG, nobody confirms your test in England, they just take your word for it. You receive your 'notes' at your first mw appt and that includes the Emma's Diary book usually (lots of advice and adverts LOL.) Plus you can register for the free Bounty packs and both of these have Mumsnet-type websites (no use for non-internet users though.)
I don't know about the 12wk scan though as the first time I had mine organised through a special women's survey in Southampton and last time I switched hospitals and didn't see anyone from there until 20wks.

It just seems so casual though, doesn't it? I mean I would rather be properly, professionally, carefully looked after while pregnant than at any other time of my life - perhaps discounting old age.

I remember getting a Bounty pack with number one son and as far as I remember it was all stuffed with sample Pampers and maternity pads (oh help) and sachets of formula and stuff - all driven by advertising.

The person with the bounty pack came into my room when it was filled with visitors and I told her (politely) to get lost!

My GP practice has been very good but they still assume even with a 1st baby that you'll know what to do and how the appointments will work, etc.

The MW confirms the pregnancy at the first appointment when she checks your urine sample

went to gp today as had some brown icky stuff over christmas and i have a scan on mondaty, thing is she has made me more worried , she said the fact that i felt sick still was a good sign[ not nesesarely i had a missed mc b4 my dd and felt sick still] but she says we wont know till monday , i wanted reasurance, not her fault i know but still xx

Thanks for the support everyone.

DH and I decided to book a private scan to put our minds at rest. As my symptoms have subsided recently I'm feeling anxious. I'm sure it's because I'm either lucky, or as I have been sitting on my arse relaxing for the last two weeks, but I am a real worry wart and need reassurance.

THEN, my Doctor rang me, full of apologies for the mix up, saying he was faxing my details off to the hospital straightaway. He then rang back 20 mins after that with an appointment for me next Friday! He has now totally redeemed himself in my eyes and I feel superhappy again.

DH still wants to have a private scan though, so that we get two opinions. Not sure myself, could be a waste of money- £120.

And VG, I think your idea about a welcome pack is an excellent idea. I hate the way they all presume we know exactly what should happen!

Wow you ladies have a time of it across the pond with early maternity care. Here I can pop into a free clinic or go see my GP or go see my OB/GYN for a test if I think I'm pregnant. Once confirmed, if you don't have an OB/GYN, you pick one and schedule an appointment. Most already have a GYN for yearly paps who is also an OB so you just set a visit. Some offices are busier than others but two weeks would be the longest wait to get in. If you have issues they'll fit you in sooner. All your bloods, check-ups and ultrasounds are done in the same office. Midwives are available in most OB/GYN practices...and are typically more involved with the you than the doc. When time comes to deliver you go to the hospital...mind you have to verify your OB/GYN or midwife has privileges there otherwise you'll be cared for by the oncall doc. The OB nurses do most of the work in the hospital. They check in with your doc while you're there but with DD my OB/GYN only saw me for the 15 minutes it took me to push her out. So far I'm liking our system more and more after listening you the hoops you all have to go through.

Yes, TS, it indeed seems like chaos here. It does depend on what part of the country you are in though. My SIL up north has always had superb individual and attentice care with all four of her children, on the NHS.

London NHS is notoriously creaky as it is a chronically underfunded system overloaded with an enormous population. But then we don't pay the vast sums for medical insurance that you guys do, so in essence you get what you pay for!

But everything for me seems ok now, my Doc was great, really apologetic and got everything fixed immediately. I'm being sent off for a 'triple test scan', whatever that is.

Really pleased you feel much happier SKF - FWIW I probably wouldn't bother with paying for the extra scan at this point in time - I'd probably wait hold out for NHS scan where you will get definite answers of baby's well being, then if you are still not happy you could book a further scan after.

Can I join in with the NHS moan?

I'd love to see a community midwife early on, but as I'm going to the nearest hospital, which isn't my local health authority the community midwives won't see me at this stage as I'm not going to their hospital (despite the fact that it's an hour away and they're not based their either). Last time I had NO idea what I could/couldn't do, eat etc. when pregnant and they refused to speak to me. Called the antenatal clinic at the hospital and they refused to speak to me too, saying that they're not interested until 12 weeks as 'so many people don't get that far anyway'. How to make you feel relaxed!

Later on when I was told to make an appointment with the community midwife so I didn't have to trek all the way to the hospital for a quick routine check, I rang to ask for 'an appointment for my 32 week check' and was given a date after my due date! Thankfully my GP stepped in.

Then the ante natal classes (which I had to remind them to invite me to) were all about the midwives' hospital and not the one that every single person in the class was going to!

These midwives were supposed to provide the 'care' afterwards but I never saw the same one more than once which didn't make me feel v. comfortable - esp. when showing off post childbirth stitches .

Anyway.... Heading for the same thing again this time, but have a bit more confidence to push for what I want, so they will be cursing me, but at least they'll know I'm there!

TOTALLY agree about the welcome pack thing. All I got last time was info about costs in the maternity unit car park and visiting times in the materniy wards. All felt rather a long way away at 6 weeks and rather freaked me out!

I've also really struggled to find info about the hospital I've chosen to go to, versus the one that's in the same health authority. All we had to go on was journey time. Surely there's more to childbirth than that...!

V. sorry. Will now shut up.

anyone else having irrational longing for philedelphia/mr whippy ice cream/ peanuts and pate - not all at once!!
x

oooo i love a good moan, and believe my mw could make me moan for hours!!

she was totally unsympathetic to my pregnancy plight with ds2. had HE to 25weeks and then went into labour at 31 weeks and 32, she told me i'd have delivered my 34weeks. well i went into labour at 34,35,37,38,40 (roughly it's hazy) but felt overdue after 34, you put all your trust in these 'professionals' but whe it comes to your actual life they're not botherec. i delvered at 40+10 eventually, she didn't give a damn that i had PND during pregnancy due to beging told i would deliver early and then not.

this time round one of my friends has said she'll deliver me at home. but this depends on her own shift patterns and loyalties to her own women. my mw didn't understand this and gave me my book thing to fill out with my friend coz she said 'she couldn't bothered to do it! how bloody rude. she's also said she'll only see me every 3months as my friend can check me over. i personally think it's appalling. i hate the fact that just because it;s my third they're more relaxed over it.

i remember with ds2 not being shown how to breastfeed, or bath him, or anything, ok granted i could just about remember but still surely every mother should be treated the saem regardless of how many children she has, if she doesn't require the help then she should be the one to say, not the mws presume! it does my head in.

still ranting away, sorry but also remembering back the mws didn't read my birth plan throughout the whole of my labour which was about 18 in the latent phase and then 15mins. i was on labour suite for about 12 hours though. if they had read it, they'd have seen that i didn't want any drugs to help bring 3rd stage, i wanted the baby straight on me with no towel, i also didn't want the cord cut until it had finished pulsating. they did none of it! anyways, sorry rant over

actually yes dizzy, i want some sort of ice cream thing that my grandma used to put on our waffles in the morning. cant for the life of me remember what it is though

I keep craving milkshakes. In fact I'm going to have one now.

Just want to jumo in with the bash the NHS moan. I am onto my third pregnancy now so have just resigned myself to it all. I live in central London to make things worse. I could tell you stories about my postnatal care after my last son was born that would make your hair curl, but I don't want to put off the first timers!

I will be 10 weeks tomorow and have had no letter to say when to come for my first appointment or scan despite being at the EPU twice for scans in the early weeks. We have no community midwives here so all appointments have to be at the hospital - great fun with 2 other children in tow.

I live right near both the Portland and St John and St Elizabeth private hospitals and have many american friends who have given birth in both. I would kill to have health insurance that covers it. And waht really kills me is that our health insurance would have covered private care for medical reasons when I was pregnant with my first, but they have changed it now (PPP) to not cover ANY pregnancy related problems regardless of what they are.

I try not to think about what the postnatal care will be like (I have had 2 csections already so will be haing a third) as it was so bad last time that I checked myself out of the hospital against medical advice.

Tragic isn't it. From my experience so far I am steeling myself to expect the very worst, then at least I can't feel let down.

The thing is, a US colleague of mine pays 1600usd a MONTH for his healthcare, although I suspect his premium is high as he is diabetic. So to get great healthcare you certainly have to pay for it. I s'pose in some kind of strange way we get a lot for our tiny NI contributions.

Am going to try and think nice thoughts now - such as it's the weekend and I might treat myself to a night out at the flicks tonight. 'Lust Caution' is out and it's supposed to be rather saucy!

Lust Caution you lucky SKF we are going to see St Trinian's!

So just to balance it out a bit....I had superb treatment whilst pg and throughout hospital stay with ds.

Had awful AND which culminated in horrendous panic and anxiety around 34 weeks. Gp was brill, referred me to motherhood and mental health team at the hospital. They too were fab. Gave me something to help me sleep and wrote to my ob confirming what treatment they recommended postnatally. OB was fab. Cs booked as ds was breech but ob said that if I really couldn't stand the insanity until cs date, then I just had to ring up and she would make sure they got me straight in.

Community mws gave me daily visits at home from 38 weeks, or if they couldn't visit reassured me that I could ring them.

Was in a side room for the whole 5 days I had to be in. Mws were great at helping me to establish bf - I ended up carrying on til ds was 10.5 mo!

My only gripe - I was told I couldn't wear my glasses during cs so all's I saw when ds was delivered was a grey blur. However, I've since had my eyes lasered so this won't be a problem this time!!

Health insurance premiums are different in different areas of the states. A lot depends on your employer's part as they pay half your premium cost. Ours is really good and for the entire family we only pay $1425US a year then there's a $25US copay at each visit. For maternity care my out of pocket expense will be no more than $525US. That includes all hospital procedures, doctors, midwives, scans, bloodwork, meds, general office procedures, etc. I do have some limitations but so far I've never in all my years run into a problem getting things covered. My DH just had an MRI a couple of weeks ago and it cost us nothing. I really enjoy our health system despite all the media that it could use an overhaul.

The one thing I think we in the US would enjoy is this home visit thing that you guys have. Some doctors in bigger cities I think are trying it. I just think there's better care when they become that hands on and involved. Lucky you.