Waddling Zombies and Dancing Babies - Due Feb 2008

[Pk616]

Hiya ladies,
Thought I'd start the new thread, hope you like the title! Best I could come up with I'm afraid!

Ginger - you poor thing, it's just one thing after another. You sound in good spirits though and hey, if you get an early Christmas present then maybe that's no bad thing? Will keep everything crossed for you.

Poblet - I really, really understand how you feel. Looking at our own dirt, without the energy to clean up is singularly depressing. I am also not in a financial position to just "get a cleaner" as so many people suggest. Really makes me miserable as I just feel like I am sliding into (filthy) chaos....

Hi poblet.

I'm also lacking in the household chore dept. I treated myself to a wonderful cleaner every other week, who two weeks ago stopped working cos her boyfriend didn't like it. I now have to find another one cos although DH is very tidy (tidier than me!), he doesn't do housework. Fair enough, he's at work all day and i only do three days, but he doesn't seem to understand that i find it hard to bend down and when i lift things, i get achy low down. I've asked him to wipe around the bathroom sink after he's finished and he doesn't even do that , although he is neat in the toilet (sorry, TMI).

I also feel a bit useless. I try to remind myself i'm pregnant and i can't do what i used to do but its hard not to be able to do things. I don't even have any other children to look after!

I just feel a bit overwhelmed and worried that the baby will come early and i won't have everything ready. I will feel better after i give up work at the end of this week.

Maybe spend the money on a cleaner once a week, cos it will make a big difference, but only if she is a good cleaner.

At the back of my mind, i can't help thinking that i will end up having an argument with DH after LO is born re. housework. His mother had 6 children and didn't have any help and they had no money - but if he says that to me after the birth, i will either dissolve in tears or yell at him (and lose my temper with him for the first time ever).

Sorry for going on. I can't worry about after the birth until it happens. I'm fairly sure i'm not the only one who is fed up with DH/DP not understanding not only the emotions that go with being pregnant, but also the tiredness, pregnancy brain and inability to do as many things in a day as i did prior to being pg.

Pob - I hope you feel better after stopping work. Being tired makes everything else feel worse.

Hi bean. I was typing while you were posting.

I feel better knowing that i'm not the only one upset about the house being dirty. DH doesn't see a dirty bathroom but he will see a dirty garage!

If it makes you feel any better, having a cleaner (which I pay for cos DH doesn't see the point in one "My mother didn't have any help!"), is no good unless she can clean without being told what to do. I had a rubbish one come on Weds and after she left, i wanted the money back! Any chance you could get DP/DH to do any cleaning?

I can't even get DH to go to Tesco for me. This lack of support & understanding is really beginning to upset me and i know i will have to have it out with him at some point. Doesn't help that i got pregnant 4 months after our wedding (a planned pregnancy) and so he feels a bit disappointed that i can't be as devoted to him as he would like. Yup - he'll be in for a shock after LO is born!

To be fair, dh is pretty good so everything does get done, pretty much, at the weekends. It's just the day to day stuff. Plus ds inevitably, already having ds means that there is that bit more mess and a bit less time to clear it up.

I also have to just revise my expectations and just know that not having a really clean place is how it is when you have a baby, it's not a reflection of anything other than that!!

Bean - i'm not worried about things being clean (well, not that much ), more a case of i don't want to go into hospital when the time comes and come back to a pigsty!

On a different matter, i'm 29 weeks and getting some aches low down - its not painful and no blood or show at all. As a first-time nervous mum, i assume this is normal and can just be from the baby kicking. Am i correct? It's not painful.

I'm so relieved to hear that I'm not the only one living in a house that is less than pristine! I have a terrible tendancy to compare myself to others around me, and their houses all seem to be pristine despite new babies/several children etc. Then I feel more depressed about it all, making me feel even less inclined to clean & tidy...

DH would be a great help if only he wasn't working all day every day at work, then eves/weekends at home. I feel guilty that he works so hard, then comes home & I've achieved so little . Lovemymum - I'm lucky like you having a DH who is 'tidy' when using the toilet. I can't believe what a mess some men make!

Lovemymum - there are so many aches and pains that are normal, so you're probably fine, but if it gets any worse, or you're worried at all, ring your midwife. Better safe than sorry.

Evening all.

Ginger bloody hell, you are seriously having a bad time. When will they be able to confirm if you do you have pre eclampsia? Will you have to go into hospital? A friend had it from quite early on (about 20 weeks) and was signed off work and just told to take it easy at home, but she had no other children to stop her from resting.

At my last midwife appt (at 29 weeks) I was told that Dory (girl twin)'s head is 3/5 engaged. Today it has felt like 5/5, I have hardly been able to walk, my bladder feels like it has been squashed flat, and if I attempt to bend over I can hardly breathe when I stand back up. Whoopeee. I hope I dont have another month of this. Seeing midwife tomorrow so will report back.

Still no word from Mini or Ladle? HOpe all is ok with them both.

Beany and others, my house does not get cleaned very often, I never dust (no wonder DS has the worst cough in the world at the mo, and has not been well for the best part of 5 weeks). I hoover a few times a week but only because we have a light carpet and mud keeps being walked into it. Kitchen floor is hideous. We are renting at mo and have a "property inspection" tomorrow. They will get a shock .

Getting panicky about Christmas now. Would almost (not quite) rather go into labour so I don't have to deal with it...

Ginger i hope your appointments go well this week and fingers crossed that you don't have pre eclampsia. (i would cross my legs for you hun if i was able to)

lovemymum my house isn't always tidy but it is clean, if i were you i'd miss out a few dinners and explain that "well the house needs cleaning first" after a few nights of crisp butties he might get the hint

I think some men have no concept of things like cleaning, washing etc because it's always been done for them. I must admit to doing most of the cleaning because i like to know a proper job has been done, but dp does the weekly shop all by himself, and has done since ds was born.

don't worry about the aches lovemymum. if there was anything wrong your body would let you know in a bigger way than that. it's just yet more uncomfortableness-prob.braxton h. if feels a bit like period pain, otherwise ligaments and muscles groaning and stretching to get ready! as the others said though, if it gets alot worse ask a midwife.
poor you ginger. bad luck on top of bad luck. i'll keep my fingers crossed too.
i've had flu all weekend so the dirt factor has accelerated and finally got dh doing a bit of washing today after the pile nearly fell on him (also, he needs clean shirts for work trip to china tomorrow-on my birthday .still maybe he'll bring back something nice.
joosey we have the same birthday. looks like i'll be staying in as have lost my voice with flu.

Hi everyone!!!

Feeling really fed up so i thought i would moan on here!!! sorry really don't need it on monday morning!!!!

DS has been so naughty in the last few days, he has been rude to daddy lost his manners and does the complete opposite to what we say at every opportunity!!!
aaarrgggghhhhh!!!!!!

DH is just an arse at the mo!!! he cant seem to do anything without me yelling or crying at him!!! i know he is trying but he is bloody useless!!!
Friday night i was up vomiting most of the night with violent migraine, so i felt rotten all day sat and wanted an early night!!!

Then dh says on sat late afternoon when he strolled in from work, he has invited friends over for dinner to catch up- he will cook spag bol!!! well i ednded up doing it whist he had a shower again!!! they didnt leave till midnight and dh was drunk so went to bed leaving me to clear the kitchen away and load dish washer etc!!!!

i was up with DS at 6-am at 9-30 i went in to bedroom for about the 8th time to tell him to get up, as i was going to do the bulk of christmas grocery shopping with my mom so i dont have to do it all next weekend and the cheeky sod said- can you not take Harry with you!!! i was livid!!!!!!

on a plus note we delivered most of our xmas pressies yesterday afternoon!!! so my nursery looks less like santoas grotto now!!!!

Ds was naughty - refused to get shoes on then refused to get into car so by the time we got to PIL tempers were already at their height, and MIL very OTT was we walked in as usual!!! i asked he to give DS a few minutes to calm down as had just been told off, she totally ignored me and i ended up shouting at her!!! FIL been in pub all afternoon and was slurring some comment to DH.

Then i hear MIL offering DS sweets and i told her no- he cannot have them as been naught all day, to be told she is his grandmother and she can do what she likes¬!!!!! i am sooooo not impresssed- DH said nothing (wot a surprize)however DS DID NOT GET SWEETS !!!!!!!

omg what a long day yesterday!!!!!!

lets hope this week will be much better!!!

Sorry for the very long boring post but i feel much better now!!!!!!

Hope everyone is ok, and i have not bored you all to death with my moaning!!!!!!

Sarah - I think we all need to moan from time to time so I wouldn't worry about it! Besides, it was quite the insight into being pregnant with your second child whilst having to cope with the first! Wow, pregnancy on it's own is bad enough!

Princess - HAPPY BIRTHDAY and get well soon

Joosey - HAPPY BIRTHDAY (I only remembered 'cause Princess mentioned it!)

Ginger - You've had it hard lass, I'm sending you a big cyber hug! I hope all of those appointments go well for you and I'm ordering you to rest (in between all the running backwards and forwards to said appointments).

Egg - LO's head engaged, already, you're all scaring the pants off me!

Right, now on to the subject of housework!

I AM SO GLAD THAT SO MANY OF YOU HAVE DIRTY/DUSTY/NEGLECTED HOUSES!

Honestly!

I have been beating myself up over the state of my house and full of guilt when DP comes home from work to find the only real change to the house is the addition of more dust and detritous!

I was not the worlds most motivated to clean in the first place but at least before I was either at uni or doing uni work so there was no guilt attatched to it!

Now, I'm at home all day, nearly every damned day. I have no responsibilities other than housework and absolutely no motivation to to any what so ever!

If I was visiting, and this was someone elses house, I would be disgusted and in the car on the way home I'd probably be saying to DP how I don't understand how that persons house could be so bad when they have nothing to do all day! Or at the very least I'd be thinking it!

But it's not someone elses house and I can't just drive away from it! I'm stuck within it's walls, dreading anybody coming to visit!

I've been loosing my temper with the poor cats because bending down to refill their food bowls hurts - sometimes I get stuck and have to crawl into the hall to use the stairs to help me stand up again! It is, at least a funny sight if nothing else!

I know I'm pregnant and the boulder in my abdomen makes everything a bit harder and I know that I've been getting SPD symptoms and housework flares it all up but none of that is the reason for the housework not getting done, it's all just a very convienient excuse!

I wouldn't even say I'm idle, as such, I keep myself busy all day and haven't spent a day (or part of one) lying on the sofa watching TV in so long I'm considering cancelling our cable subscription!

I JUST HAVE NO MOTIVATION TO CLEAN AND TIDY

From my seat here I can see vast amounts of housework that needs doing, I'm embarrased, disgusted with it and desparate for the house to be clean as a whistle and regumentaly tidy, but still the motivation to tackle it illudes me!

I'm terrified that I'm going to go into labour and have to bring my beautiful new baby home to this God forsaken hell hole, but still the motivation illudes me!

I feel guilty that DP goes out to work every day, hates every second of it and comes home to have to do the washing up before he can so much as make himself a cup of tea, but still the motivation illudes me!

I can only conclude that I hate my house and desperately want to move to a house in a better area with two or more bedrooms so much that I'm unable to summon the motivation to care for this one!

IT'S A MIRACLE!!!!!!

I've suddenly found that motivation I was on about!

I guess all I needed was to get it off my chest!

Thanks for bringing to subject up guys! I'm off to do some housework befor this feeling fades!

Anyone know where I can get a skip

My house is also looking messy at the moment. We have plasterers in and they are making a mess, also we have 2 cleaners; one is really good and comes at the beginning of the week and one is rubbish and comes at the end. I know what you mean about a lack of motivation; I leave home for work about 7.45 in the morning and get home between 7 and 8 in the evening then have to cook dinner etc. The last thing I want to do after that is extra housework and I certainly don't want to waste weekends clearing up. I think my house would be a health hazard without cleaners; it's the best money I could possibly spend atm.

Gingermumi - you really sound like you need a day just relaxing; you seem v stressed out. Can you treat yourself to some time out?

Joosey and Princess - HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Gingermumi - I really hope that the tests come back fine, I can't believe all the problems you've been having!

I've been forcing myself to tidy the house even if it's just a little bit each day as it gets me depressed when I look round and see the mess. My house is far from immaculate though - there's still custard powder on the kitchen floor from months ago that I am NOT cleaning up. DP did his best to sweep it but it needs a good mop. I've managed to load the dishwasher and get all my laundry down the stairs despite being very tired today, later on I'll probably hoover the living room as it is covered in bits of coal (Thanks DP!) I've also been sorting all the baby stuff out and getting the xmas presents together as I'm going away for xmas so I need to feel ready!
I guess I'm doing lots this week as I know I'll be looked after for the next few weeks and it will be better to come home to a tidy house (also means I can refuse to do anything after xmas)

My midwife arrived eventually and she has reassured me I'm not having a big baby. she has mentioned that I'll need phsyio as my stomach muscles have separated really badly. She also seems to think I'm going to be early! To be honest I wouldn't mind being early as I feel so huge and I've started getting terrible pains in my hips when I lie down at night. They're fine during the day though.

hello everyone am feeling just as fed up as everyone else I think. (PsIL, insomnia, uncomfortable, stretch marks, work...)

My rib cage has had another sudden growth spurt and all my 34 bras don't fit any more. Had to go out and buy some 36s which I am an A cup in. Can anyone tell me what to expect after the birth - I know they're supposed to blow up massive after a few days but does this last all the time you are feeding? And in your experience does your ribcage shrink back fairly quickly? I can't find any maternity bras in a A cup and nursing bras seem really pricey so I don't want to get them in the wrong size, luckily managed to get some normal bras quite cheap but seems like it might be a total waste for the short time left.

This is probably one for the MN breastfeeding area but I get a bit nervous away from home!

Happy Birthdays to Joosey and Princess.

sorry didn't give my grumpiness full expression.

(PsIL, insomnia, uncomfortable, stretch marks, work, got a cold, and went out for dinner on Saturday night that really didn't feel up to and the waitress poured a pint of beer and a glass of wine all over me and my dinner)

Gill - count yourself lucky; I have gone up to a 36G, it's getting ridiculous.

Hi pobletsmum, I smiled when I read your comment. My husband often teases me about my ?form over function? approach to interior décor. I have many items in my home that look absolutely wonderful, but are either uncomfortable or very high maintenance. One example is my dining table by Patricia Urquiola. The top is an oval of highly polished white Carrera marble. It is unsealed, and makes for quite an impractical table, as food and wine will stain it. It does however look stunning. (When the baby is a toddler I will feed him in the kitchen).

I empathize with all of you who are finding dirt and dust frustrating. I also have many glossy surfaces, ceiling to floor glass, and white walls. All this is very unforgiving when it comes to dust and marks. If I wasn?t pregnant I would go around and polish all the mirror polished stainless steel door handles and light switches to get rid of fingerprints, but alas standards have slipped. Hubby has been doing his best, but there is only so much he can do, and I refuse to have a cleaner while I am at home. He currently does all the shopping and cooking, and insists that I sit with my feet up. He did put a wash on the other day for one of my wool dresses. What was previously knee length came out mid thigh length!

Gill & bessie fear not you not the only ones who cant keep up with their boobies, i am thinking of just setting them free- not wearing a bra, went out to oxford street on friday to topshop to swap my preggie jeans for a bigger size it was horrid never going back ever again. since yestereday i have been seeing my lo through the tummy he is really jutting out and poking quite strange but i cant quite distinguish what is the foot or head.
I feel bad that i have gone off looking at baby catalogues or even buying baby things my dh says i am not organised- just can't help myself- cheated by hiring a cleaner last week and will do the same this week.
Joosey and princess -happy birthday,

Ruva - I feel just the same but have a top tip: John Lewis do a nursery list. It will take about 2 hours and they will help you put a list together of everything you will need. The list can go on the internet so friends and family can also see it and can buy you presents off it if they want. Then, when you have to buy things for the baby, you just have to click on stuff and that is it; JL even delivers.

Hiya Guy's,
The cleaning motivation is still with me, than goodness! I've just had to stop for a break 'cause my sciatic(sp?) nerve has just twanged leaving me practically paryalised(sp?) in a rather odd position! (I was on my hands and knees trying to fish a cat toy out from under the sofa so I guess you can get the picture!)

Bessie - Sooooooo glad we've not got building type mess to deal with! Probably a really good job you've got a cleaner or two!

Gill - I've gone from a 34D to a 40C (I was a 36E towards the end of the first trimester as I suffered with a LOT of water retention) I've lost count of how many different bra's I've had to buy and have resigned myself to buying sports bras from Asda at £4 a pop until I'm 36 weeks when I'm going to get myself measured up for a couple of nice nursing bras (apparently they can gestimate really well as to how big you're going to get and can therefore provide you with an appropriate size) Get well soon from your cold. Write a letter of complaint to the restraunt about the waitress and you could get a free meal out of it (even if you were suitably compensated at the time)!

Lucy - searated stomach muscles doesn't sound good! The physioterrorist should sort you out though! I know what you mean about needing to feel ready! My hat's off to you for the self forced housework (even if you are refusing to clear the custard powder )

Saskia - My hats off to you too! I would really love to live in a house with all that lovely sounding decor, I just couldn't stand to clean it! Mind you, if I had an unlimited budget and a team of cleaners, my impractical decor would be a totally different style, being qwerky as opposed to elegant! I'm not an elegant person except in posture (except when I'm rooting around under sofa's for cat toys!)

Ruva - don't worry about the not looking in baby catalogues etc. My mate didn't buy a single baby related item until after she'd given birth (and she was late!)

Gill & Bessie - having the same problem boobs feel like they have been squeeaed inot a vacum when i wear a bra. Came to work today with a suported vest top on instaed of a bra, feeling better. Not sure how much more they are going to grow I am 29+5 so ame sure they are going to go from 36d to melon size!!!

I want to start getting my hospital bag ready, has anyone got any comprehensive lists that would help?