Due May 2008 - Second trimester, here we come!

[blobsmummy]

Hope you found it ok!

Hi all,

Pee tests came back negative, so no urine infection after all. Told DH yesterday that I was a bit concerned that baby kicking isn't as much as last pg, but then baby proceeded to kick for 5 minutes non-stop - obviously in protest to me thinking it's a lazy LO!

I am 16+1 and my sister just had IVF and is 6+1. However, she didn't have anything to do with me at all between me getting pregnant and her getting pregnant(which caused major family rows and me getting high blood pressure, and put such a strain on our family in general, as well as me and my DP of 8 months who has put up with so much more than he should have to) and she's really weird with me now.
She seems to resent me (which she says she doesn't) and when i approached her she yelled that she feels like a failure and that she can't get pregnant just like that finger snapping she also said that I'll be able to go on to have loads of kids and she'll only have her twins.
She's negative about everything and she's worried sick she can't trust her body to have the babies. She won't even consider giving birth so she's having a CS.
I just don't understand why she's weird with me now or why she says she'll never be the same because of what she went through. Even though she says she doesn't resent me she really does seem to.
I know she's been through a lot and I've tried to understand but she's not having any of it and treats me like I'm a stupid, horrible person. I'm really frustrated with it as i'd like us to share the experience of our first pregnancy's together.

Has anyone else been through similar? If so, please could you explain? I know it sounds like I'm being stupid, but I have genuinely tried to understand and be sensitive but there seems to be something I'm missing? Am i really so far off the mark?

Hi Hayley, I'm so tired tonight what follows may not make much sense but I'll try (ds1 had us up at 4.50am to start the day ).

The only experience I can offer is that of a friend who had 4 IVF attempts and 1 natural pg, the last IVF attempt happily resulting in a gorgeous healthy baby boy. My friend too completely distanced herself from any pg ladies and babies too - very understandable I think. She also gave birth by elective CS because of not wanting to take any risks with labour.

I know what you mean by resentment, I don't think your sister resents you personally but she may well "resent" anyone who seemingly gets pg "at the drop of a hat" (she includes you unfortunately)or who can carry a baby full-term. My own experience is that I had 2 healthy pregnancies, then a third which ended in miscarriage at 9 weeks this summer. I got pg again immediately but, my god, I have lost trust with my body's ability to do its job too. Only a week ago I think you posted on my thread because I was so worried about lack of movements. I'm only very recently dropping my pg news into conversation at toddler groups, nursery etc whereas in the past I told everyone at 10 weeks! Your sister is still only 6 weeks. I haven't been through half as much as her but at 6 wks there was absolutely no way I could relax (still can't at 17+4!) and was s**t-scared.

You aren't doing anything wrong or missing the point, your only "crime" is being pg too and from the enviably safe position of 16 weeks into it. I think she's just terrified and is taking it out on you because you are her sister and are presumably close despite recent problems. Look after yourself and don't get stressed, I think she will feel better as the pg develops and will confide in you more. When all of your babies are here I'm sure everything will be great. Don't forget she is filled with those pesky hormones too - I am an irrational, illogical lunatic when pg

Take it easy Hayley, sorry if this is garbled xx

kanga - I have my Spatone added to a tall glass of diluted lime cordial, it completely disguises the taste. It's vile in orange juice though, so don't go there!

hayley - no experience of this but if your sister doesn't gain confidence as her pregnancy progresses, I'm sure she'll be fine when she has her babies - although maybe not at first because twins will be hardwork! But I would advise you not to fall into the trap of telling her what to do - you'll mean it to be helpful but often it can seem like showing-off/being bossy etc!!! I know my DSis & SIL both got up my nose with their endless 'I know best' routine. Grrrrrr!!!

I'm feeling tired and constipated but I think the sickness has gone. Yay! Sciatica has been better this week so may go running tomorrow. I had a letter this morning confirming my NT results and also telling me that my 20 wk scan is 15 January (actually 21wk). Which doesn't seem that far away and yet most of you will be well over the half-way mark by then!

DoNB I could be having the lo a month later after your scan!!!!

Hayley - hormones are playing a big part, and also she's actually probably just desperately worried. The resentment isn't directed at you personally as snooks (i think) said, it's at all pg women that didn't go through the process she went through. I know that when DH and I were trying this time, even though it only took 3 cycles (with ds it was 1st cycle lucky), all I seemed to be able to see where pg women, and it really upset me. Of course it was just hormones, but....

Anyway, just give her the space she needs at the moment, and there will be something that she will want to ask you about, or tell you about what with you being further on, and then you can share the experience with her.

hope this helps.

hope everyone else doing ok.

Well, I would say I'm glad it's not just me but obviously I wish it wasn't any of us..however, I guess with all the things you have to worry about in pregnancy spots are a minor matter!

Hayley, my sister is also pg, and although it's a completely different situation (I have a thread in the pg section about smoking) I just wanted to say that I do sympathise - it's hard when you really want to share this amazing thing with someone you love but they approach it differently to you. Maybe she's depressed after the IVF - it does mess around with your hormones quite a bit. It's sad that she's now got the thing that she wanted but can't be happy and enjoy it. My god, she's having twins - that's more than some people can ever dream of! Do you think she'd see a doctor to ask about depression?

On a completely different note, I've also entered the "x-rated dreams club' (Anthony Kiedis from Red Hot Chili Peppers...mmmm) but mine had a completely unexpected outcome - I actually came in my sleep !! It was so weird, didn't even think it was physically possible! Not complaining though!!

If you have any tips for x-rated dreams, please share them with me - all I dreamt about last night was people dying - not much fun really. Wolverina - it's happened to me a couple of times !

I dreamt that there would be 4 eggs in the hen's nest box today. And! I was quite pleased with that until reading this thread.

I'd really love to share my secrets for attaining sexual satisfaction while sleeping (sort of like those "Learn Spanish" or "Lose Weight Effortlessly' ones!) but I'm afraid the only tip I've got is don't have any sex in real life, cos that's what I've done..I just lost interest around the 7 week mark as I felt so manky, and now I'm so tired I can't be bothered! This must just be my body's way of making it up to me...

my tip for x-rated dreams - watch sky + recorded episode of emmerdale just before going to bed!!!

Just wanted to say lots of us have been having x-rated dreams too

Wow - can't quite believe this very excellent side effect of pregnancy isn't more widely known about!
Now excuse me while i go off and dig out my old Keanu Reeves DVDs...need some inspiration for tonight's episode!!

hahaha Wolverina....with you on the no-sex part....then the x rated dreams....and the coming bit!!

Ive had to refrain from the kinky stuff due to threatened m/c but really cant be ar*ed at the moment...my body is satisfying itself though

Hi everyone! Had my first scan yesterday and all is fine! I was so worried about this and hardly slept a wink the night before. Not sure why I was so worried but I think it was something to do with having 2 healthy kids already and not wanting to tempt fate. Sonographer said she had no concerns about baby and brought my due date forward by 2 days!! I really feel pregnant now, now that I've seen it on the monitor. I keep looking at the scan photo!

Hi all.

Binkyanne-glad your scan went well.

4 weeks tomorrow til our next scan!!! We can't wait!What is the likelyhood that they'll be able to tell if it's a boy or girl? Does anyone know?

Sexaddicts- I got all that earlier on and my DP was rather annoyed about it . it's just not happening for me lately tho!!! Grrr... emmerdale it is.

Thanks to everyone who talked about the sister situation. It is such a difficult one!! I do think she seriously needs to see a doctor and I don't think her DH has helped, I think he makes things a million times harder and says she's worthless and it's her fault when they have rows. This is what i can pick up from snickety bits I've heard. I'm praying she'll relax when the 12 weeks have passes. Ou babies r the first in the family for 16 years and it's such a shame it hasn't been a happy time. I know I'm very lucky to conceive after only a few months.

hayley it's really up to your lo if they want you to see what sex they are! luckily with our ds he was a little show off (and still is!) so we were able to tell (well the sonographer could) really easily.

hope things work out with your sister - hopefully she just needs time. I'd definitely keep out of it for the time being - you certainly don't need the added unnecessary stress iykwim.

feeling really big and pregnant today, although the good news is that bp seems to be settling, which is something.

got a good kicking from the baby all last night...

Hello

Sorry I've been so quiet. It's really hard to find the time to get online at the moment.

Some of you seem to be going through a really hard time at the moment .

Aussiemum - glad you seem to have reached a decision you're happy with. Only you know how anxious you'd be for the rest of the pregnancy if you chose not to have the amnio.

All those of you with SPD, you have my sympathy. My good friend had it when she was pregnant with twins and it really was crippling. Cranial osteopathy seemed to help her - might be worth a try?

Hayleyandbaby - sorry to hear about your problems with your sister. I'm sure the massive amount of hormones she's had through the IVF has something to do with her state of mind. Sounds like her partner's not much of a help in the situation either. My sister in law has just announced that she's been told she will have to have IVF if she wants a baby (something wrong with her fallopian tubes) and it's really hard to be pregnant around someone in that situation - i just feel guilty all the time, which is crazy.

Count me as part of the 'no real life bed action / loads of dreamtime bed action' gang! My dreams are getting raunchier all the time. If I could just get it together to actually DO IT while I'm awake, I have a feeling it'd be amazing .

Please all wish me luck - am attempting potty training this weekend. I'm dreading it.

Hi pregnabrain - we've started potty training dd this week. It was a complete disaster with ds (now 5) and took 18 months, so with dd we're taking it really slowly and she's getting praise for everything no matter how small.

Copied this from my post on another thread:

DD is 2.5 and potty training.

We say thank you prayers at bedtime and last night was:

"Tank you Jesus for the 'normous wee I did in my potty. Tank you it went pssssssssssssssssss and was 'normous. Amen"

I had to bite the insides of my cheeks and run downstairs after that one

Awwwwww that's so cute!

at 18 months .

For some reason, I just know it's not going to be straightforward with dd. She's really funny about me changing her nappies and seems to have a bit of a poo phobia going on. Argh. Wish someone could do this for me!!

pregnabrain - we used straight bribery with dd, lollies for every success. We also went knickerless at first as she found when she had something on her bottom she assumed it was a nappy.

Aussiesim - agree with the worry of fitting in many kids to routines etc but from what I have also heard 3 can sometimes be easier than 2 so keep that in mind. When the triplets arrive dd will be just 4, ds about 2.25.

Good luck with the amnio, if you can get fast results in I would recommend it. We elected to pay extra to have basic results in 2 days and full back in the 2 wks, at least that gave us some peace of mind quickly and didn't draw things out for longer.

Ohhh clumps of hair falling out - I didn't think that was supposed to happen in pregnancy, isn't your hair supposed to stay in and fall out afterwards. Might be worth getting your thyroid levels checked to see if they are low/high?

Skin - with dd I had the most awful skin I have ever had - those humungous zits that nothing covered up. with ds my skin was so perfect, neither oily or dry.
This time around I have had the zits in only one spot so am pretty sure that there is at least 1 girl in utero causing these. Oh and I had those x-rated dreams with dd but not with ds

Just cruising along here, next scan 13 Dec. Have def felt the babies moving a lot and I look pretty pregnant. I can just squeeze into a couple of my size 10 low riding stuff but preggy stuff is a lot more comfortable.

I have had the most terrible calf cramps and neuralgia pain. I am taking extra magnesium to absorb the extra calcium I'm taking but a friend has also given me some other homeopathic stuff and last night was the first night in a week that it didn't wake me up.

OOOOHHHHH I went and saw Justin Timberlake in concert on Friday night. He has just finished his southern hemisphere tour. He is a very talented young man. I didn't realise he played so many instruments, every song he wasn't full on dancing in, he was playing instruments and singing at the same time. Sorry that is probably my big highlight for a while.

Very jealous of all of you going on overseas trips. That is one thing I miss about not being over in UK is that ease of travel.

Hello Chuffed

Bribery is definitely on the agenda. It's going to be Smarties and star charts all the way. Definitely worth trying the no knickers thing too. Thanks for the tip.

Congratulations on your triplets. A friend of mine had two kids and then twins and they're just all one big happy chaotic bundle together.

You've just reminded me about the leg cramps! Had them SOOOO badly last time. It was hell. I don't think I'm pregnant enough for them to kick in yet this time. Is the calcium and magnesium for that, or for the neuralgia?

i had really bad cramps last time in my calves - had to have deep tissue massage to sort it out - i had so much water everywhere! even from early on!

luckily ds will be 2 in mid july so we can try and sort out potty training over the summer, although being born 2 months prem i have a feeling it's going to be long and drawn out....

bobsmum at the prayer that's marvellous!

hope everyone else keeping ok

xxx

hello everyone, i haven't been on for a while, taken me a while to read all your news! i have been really up and down, happy one minute and miserable the next...

I too have had some lovely dreams, wake up and rub against DH for a bit!!!
my sickness is STILL being a pain in the backside. feel very sorry for myself.

Heard my mum is coming home from hospital on Friday so when we go visiting at the weekend it will be the first time in 2 months we've seen her at home ...
...but she still can't talk or move her right hand properly and they are not sure if it is brain damage from the op or a stroke she may have had while in theatre

we have had an offer accepted on a house with 3 bedrooms
damn, we have to move again, for the 5th time in 3 years

what a roller coaster!

I'd forgotten about the calf cramps. and the potty training. and asking the sex at the 20 week scan. Joy! I am currently worrying about parents evening next week...

love JBR xxx

• my daughter has just potty trained herself (well led the way) the knickerless trick was the start for her too and the 'if you have a wee, you can have some liquorice etc'

loving the prayer!!

Hope everyone is well and grrrrr to you Chuffed! size 10!! goes off to sob