Aug 2021 - half way there!

[HopefulB]

@wimbler - EDD 29 July, surprise 💛
@Champson - EDD 22 August (but really June/July), TBC 💖💖💖
@coffeeandrainbows1- EDD 4 August (but most likely July), Boy 💙
@Jessicapebbles - EDD 5 August (but having C-section at 39 weeks, so really July), Girl 💖
@Smurf123 - EDD 5 August (but likely to be July) 💛
@WhatEvenIsSleep - EDD 2 August, Boy 💙
@Smushty14 - EDD 6 August, TBC 💛
@Rattyclife - EDD 6 August, TBC 💛
@Dia12 - EDD 8 August, Girl 💖
@Biscuitcat - EDD 10 August, surprise 💛
@ElonaWise - EDD 11 August, TBC 💛
@Runnergirl123 - EDD 11 August, TBC 💛
@PurplePansy05 - EDD 12 August, Boy 💙
@Srtdr - EDD 12 August, surprise 💛
@Daffodil21 - EDD 12 August, Boy 💙
@Inmypjsagain - EDD ???, Boy 💙
@BananaHammock23 - EDD 13 August, surprise 💛
@MrsB2019x - EDD 13 August, Girl 💖
@Magik01 - EDD 13 August, Boy 💙
@Carefree1 - EDD 15 August, Girl 💖
@DressyGerbera - EDD 15 August, surprise 💛
@lucyrp - EDD 16 August, undecided 💛
@BertieBotts - EDD 16 August, want to know! 💛
@WolfMother326 - EDD 17 August, surprise 💛
@Caz1226 - EDD 17 August, Boy 💙
@Lille4 - EDD 17 August, TBC 💛
@Redskinsucks - EDD 17 August, TBC 💛
@RockyRockyRoad - EDD 18 August, can't wait to find out 💛
@Smallbean27 - EDD 19 August, surprise 💛
@WatermelonKisses - EDD 20 August, surprise 💛
@Alittlexmasmagic - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛
@Millymay13 - EDD 22 August, TBC 💛
@Whatshouldbemyusername - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛
@LottSE20 - EDD 22 August, TBC 💛
@Notinthestarsigns - EDD 23 August, TBC 💛
@LaceyMermaid - EDD 24 August, TBC 💛
@Fran919 - EDD 25 August, surprise 💛
@northernsquirrel - EDD 26 August, surprise 💛
@LyraShaeLilly - EDD 27 August, can't wait to find out 💛
@ame88 - EDD 28 August, TBC 💛
@diamante11 - EDD 29 August, Girl 💖
@HopefulB - EDD 29 August, TBC 💛
@CountryGirl84 - EDD 29 August, TBC 💛

@Ready2020 after mine my arm swelled up and I was sore for days, the nurse who did it said apparently it's known for reactions (she made sure to do it in the arm I don't sleep on! I thought she was exaggerating but I couldn't lie on the injection side for about a week)

Sorry to hear about the trouble some of you ladies are having with work - it's just so unfair of employers to put you in an uncomfortable position, especially when it's against the work from home guidance. Would it be worth asking to see the risk assessment and for an explanation of how the work fits in with that? I've been very lucky and my work have been hugely supportive - I'm just hoping they let me carry on going in the same amount as everyone else after 28 weeks as the most fun parts of my job involve going into schools.

Sorry to hear some of you are struggling with work issues too.

A little update - I asked for a risk assessment, he said he sent me one in October (pre-pregnancy), so obviously this needs to be reviewed. He has said he's spoken to an HR advisor and he's not asking me to do anything unreasonable. He came out with a list of reasons explaining why he thinks it's safe, so I responded to each of them saying I wasn't happy.

Well, my DH was not having any of this. He wrote a letter for me detailing all of my rights, with various links to government guidelines and other places too. My GP has written me a note saying I should be wfh only, so my employer can F off. I'm going to take maternity ASAP as I need to put my health and my baby's health first, and working under stress isn't going to be good for either of us.

@PurplePansy05 can you get a note from your gp saying you should only be wfh?

Re whooping cough vaccine, I know they say these days it can be done from 16 weeks but wasn't the previous guidance after 28 weeks? Anyone knows why this may have changed? I've not had mine yet, I'm hoping to arrange it in the next few weeks but I felt really unwell after my flu jab so kind of postponing it a bit with everything else going on right now, I expect it may knock me for six again.

And another thing on my mind now. What do I with the baby during the day? As in, I will likely have a carrycot suitable for sleeping and a stand - great. However, bulky to carry around everywhere. With pets, I can't leave DS on his own there either, at least not for very long. I suppose it's raised quite high off the floor so might be ok if I go to the toilet. But shower/cooking/general tidy up, anything like this, literally no idea. If he's asleep:

• Do I carry that carrycot with me everywhere if I disappear for longer than a quick toilet?
• Do I put him in a bouncer which is smaller and lighter to carry? He might wake up though and they shouldn't be sleeping in bouncers anyway?
• Put him in a sling/carrier? Might wake him up and might not help me either with cooking or cleaning though?
• Do I just leave him to it? This seems against the SIDS advice though?

Does anyone take them in to the toilet as well if you need to go, is this necessary?

Then when he's awake, a whole different story again. So many opinions on bouncers, rockers, swings. Some cost in excess of £200, ridiculous! Lots of people take an easy way out and get their babies not only to play in them, but also to sleep which actually is directly against the SIDS advice. I really don't know what to think or buy anymore. I initially thought about getting a cheaper bouncer with toys and allowing movement to keep him entertained when he's awake but to only use it when he's awake and I need to move him with me - I actually think this is how they are supposed to be used? But then I don't know if my thinking is right, am I unrealistic and inexperienced here?

I am so confused and don't know what to buy for it to be useful. So many items are expensive or bulky. TBH I don't know what I'm going to do with him when he arrives and I feel really freaked out about it, like for some reason I am being stupid when everyone else knows and just gets on with it! xx

@Daffodil21 That's also on my list, yes, but I'll argue with them first if needed and see how I get on. Thing is, I have several hundred people in the building and there's some hot desking going on and I know for a fact they don't clean the desks in between like they should becausr I saw this when I was still going in at the beginning of my pregnancy. There's categorically no way I'll be going in unvaccinated now when I can work perfectly well from home. xx

I was told they give them after 26 weeks now so the baby has the best immunity. I'm only 24 weeks so... Guess they just felt like doing it yesterday. My arm is sore today and I feel a bit sick but that could be for any reason!

On your other questions, as a first time mum I will be watching the replies. These are the practical things that don't really get talked about.

I've signed up for an NCT course in July that covers things like changing, feeding baby and birth but it's only 3 sessions. I've also signed up for a hypnobirthing course which I am looking forward to much more I think.

Just to check, has anyone else's memory for words just gone downhill? I can't seem to remember specific words which makes it difficult when in meetings at work!

That was for @PurplePansy05 BTW...

@PurplePansy05 absolutely do. That does not sound like a safe environment at all.

Re pets and sleeping - so as a FTM I have no idea if this is practical or not, but I'm going to order one of these: https://www.babybabyonline.co.uk/travel-safety-c7/travel-c117/travel-cots-c529/inovi-cocoon-moses-basket-travel-cot-grey-p2206/s3399?utmsource=google&utmmmedium=cpc&utmterm=inovi-cocoon-moses-basket-travel-cot-grey-colour-grey-colour-grey-1200241100081grey&utmmcampaign=product%2Blisting%2Bads&cid=GBP&gclid=Cj0KCQjwmcWDBhCOARIsALgJ2Qf4fIjI5ovtRk9vtMk-cN0T9p61H-GMYYC8XKkCpc4TzvGIs79JRDAaAnWsEALw_wcB

And hope that I can pop to loo etc during the day and not worry about cats/maybe even have a sofa nap while he's sleeping in it?? Am I living in dreamworld??

Then shut the cats out of our room at night

Interest hearing about your work situations. @Daffodil21 how did you get your go to write you a note? Do you have extra risks in your pregnancy? I only ask as I’m a primary teacher so obviously no social distancing and no choice as to put myself at risk everyday and gp would not write me a note even though wfh will be ok once 28 weeks. We had an outbreak of 40+ cases in school on the 2 weeks before Easter so I’m now so scared of going back especially as I’ve been very wheezy and breathless recently.

@biscuitcat the nurse who did my whooping cough vaccine said that if you've had it in the last 10 years a reaction is possible and its the tetanus part of the vaccine that is most likely to cause it. She said because I had it less than 3 years ago I might get a hot sore patch when the injection went in but it's nothing to worry about and to just put an ice pack on it. As it went I was fine, just a bit achy.

@PurplePansy05 a baby will be fine and safe in a moses basket or similar while you nip to the loo. As long as they won't get knocked over etc. Placing them on a dining table or something in a moses basket might relieve anxiety if you have pets?

We had a sleepyhead that she pretty much lived in for the first month. we would put it on the floor/sofa/dining table etc and she was fine. before they can roll they're not going anywhere. We also had a baby bjorn bouncy chair which was honestly amazing. They are stupidly expensive new but are easily available second hand and because the cover just slips off the wire frame, you can wash it easily. she loved this thing!

You will work out what is right for you once they are born. you can also just plonk them on the bed whilst you get dressed/dry your hair/fold washing. Honestly, newborns are basically blobs lol. They don't do anything!

@Daffodil21 I really like this. I'd be OK going to the toilet and leaving him asleep in this I think. Also seems lightweight to bring in with me to various rooms if needed, so seems ideal when they're asleep.

What about when they're awake though? I think I was naive thinking this is going to be easy, all I'm reading online is mums buying singing and dancing bouncers/rockers/Baby Bjorns with toys costing £40 on top of the ridiculously expensive bouncer 😳. I really thought a £40-£50 reclining bouncer with toys would do? xx

@PurplePansy05 a play mat is also a great investment. one that has an arch with dangly toys/lights/music will keep them entertained for a good while! The tiny love playmats are great because they have high contrast black and white which is good for when they're tiny. again you can pick these up second hand but here is one which I think is great and I've got my eye on for baby #2 www.naturalbabyshower.co.uk/products/tiny-love-black-white-gymini-magical-tales?

@wimbler I love this one! They seem like so much fun even to me 🤣 That's another option but only if I could keep the door shut because of the dog. I can also imagine my cats attempting to play with DS, they're not phased by noises or new people at all and I think at least one will be very interested in him and his toys 🤣

Would it be best to buy after the baby is born or in advance, what do you think? xx

@PurplePansy05 I don't think we bought one until she was a couple of weeks old but I don't think there is any harm buying one in advance as you will definitely use it. Depends on if you have space for it and if you are trying to spread out purchases. You could create a playpen environment with something like this to keep the dogs away? www.amazon.co.uk/Safety-Barrier-Fireplace-Christmas-Through/dp/B07F8K4Q2V/ref=sr_1_34_sspa?tag=mumsnetforu03-21 probably won't keep the cats away though!

@PurplePansy05 I've had the same wonder as we have a big (friendly but very enthusiastic and stupid!) dog and a vicious cat 🙈 I've got a wrap/sling which I'm hoping baby likes as I'm planning on using that a lot, and have a baby Bjorn bouncer from SIL which I'm hoping I can use on a table so it's elevated for when the animals are around. There are definitely lots of those second hand on Marketplace, full price is so expensive!

@biscuitcat I feel exactly the same as you, if they send me home from 28 weeks il he absolutely distraught as I haven't been able to do my job properly for over a year now and il be working right up until 2 weeks before the due date as long as I'm allowed. Would affect my mental health terribly if I had to work from home for 3 months more 😭

@PurplePansy05 personally I only ever had a bouncer not w rocker or swing etc. My friend forked out and bought the mamaroo and said it was awful it swung around too much and her little girl hated it. Cheap and cheerful is probably the best for this. Just a nice bouncer they can bounce themselves in with a toy bar above xx

@LaceyMermaid so far this pregnancy seems to be going ok, but it is being noted as 'high risk, under consultant care' because I have a history of multiple losses, even though there aren't any factors in this particular pregnancy so far which make it high risk. My GP is thankfully very understanding and had no problem writing me a note for wfh only. Working in a school sounds very scary! I'm surprised they won't give you a note, especially from 28 weeks. Have you spoken to your midwife? That's what I did first, then she suggested getting a note from my gp.

@PurplePansy05 I know, I was so relieved when I found it! I won't be using it overnight but plan to during the day. Our cats are very friendly, and they're more like dogs tbh! I can definitely see the younger one wanting to curl up with him, so I think that cot would be so helpful! Can't advise on when they're awake I'm afraid, hadn't even thought of it tbh!!

@PurplePansy05 As for in the day with cats I hadn't really thought of it but it's hot that much of a great deal to me, I think we'll just see what happens when they're born then purchase whatever we might need. Xx

Purplepansy, the baby bjorn thread of yours was so interesting- I started looking at bouncers at the weekend and thought I’d misread when I saw some of the prices!!!

Another thing that surprised me with the price was the sleepyhead/dockatot- @wimbler sounds like it’s worth though would you say?

Does anyone else have hundreds of screenshots of this thread filled with all the handy info? Feel like I’m doing it daily at the moment!

@lucyrp the mamaroo is outrageous! £250! And baby may not even like it! I’m just so worried I’m gonna be sucked in and spend £££ on stuff I won’t use. Really trying to keep my “list” for pre baby as minimal as possible but still don’t know if it’s realistic!

@Inmypjsagain I purchased a sleepyhead second hand as you can remove the covers and wash them. I think I paid £60 from Facebook. Really looking forward to using it! Yes please don't feel you need Everutning as I barely bought anything before DS was born and only bought a couple of extra items after he was born xx

I just looked and sleepyhead covers are £60 themselves. I can’t actually tell if any of these products are worth their price or it’s just the fact it’s a baby product so they slap a premium on it.

Pre baby id planned on buying: pram, next to me bed, car seat, bouncer, play mat, dockatot type thing, nappy bin. I haven’t really thought about clothes and stuff but will have a supply, including sleeping bags, plus nappies, muslins- nappy changing stuff? Gels creams? What do babies use?! I guess I’ll also need a changing mat... I figured aside from that big stuff and every day essentials, we can just order when he’s here. I do wonder if I’m missing something glaringly obvious that I will definitely need that I haven’t thought about?

@Inmypjsagain I've had the same thoughts about being sucked into spending unnecessary money - I think babies are like weddings, where there is so much marketing trying to convince you that you need loads of stuff that you don't really. I was doing a shop the other day and spent half the time on the phone to my mum asking if I actually need something or am being tricked by marketing tactics!

@Inmypjsagain we had it when it was the sleepyhead. We used it all the time (even took it on holiday with us) and for us we couldn't live without it. Back then they were okayed for overnight sleep though so we actually had her in the sleepyhead in the snuzpod (with the sides down) which I think is heavily frowned upon now When we transitioned her to her cot she was in the sleepyhead in her cot for a few weeks. We obviously never had any issues with it but there is a lot more controversy surrounding them now even though this was just over 2 years ago.

we will be using it again but probably just in the daytime but ask me again when baby is here and it will probably be a different story!

I will say that although they are washable they're a right pain getting the cover back on again. We covered ours with a muslin at all times after she was sick on it within the first 2 mins of being home from the hospital!

I actually thought some of the responses were laughable @Inmypjsagain. From those mums who are up their own arse so deep that they think it's appropriate to be patronising to an FTM, not to mention I am short fused atm and also stressed as you know. I am trying to focus on doing my best and ask for on reasonable advice not for input from smug unhelpful types, but you always get one or two, don't you. I still don't understand what's so amazing about Baby Bjorn, it's an ugly piece of kit costing in excess of £200 that I don't know if the baby will like and that I hope not to ever use for sleeping. So that's that. All those raving about it seem to be forgetting the same company made items not long ago concluded unsafe for babies too, so they ain't all that perfect. I completely agree with all of you, it's so easy to get sucked in to spending and spending, but I'm trying to have some common sense in this.

I am now looking into Hauck 3 in 1 chairs which might just answer my queries about pets and they also come in variable heights and have toys included. Might buy this and a cheaper bouncer. Hauck isn't cheap either but it is half the price of BB and might well be used for other purposes for longer. It's another minefield aimed at confused first time parents. xx

@Inmypjsagain I'd avoid purchasing something like that until after baby is born. You may not need it. In NICU/SCBU they rolled a towel into a horseshoe and covered with a flat sheet, or there are swaddling sleeping bags.x