Due April 2008 - new thread for November

[EllieG]

Hello all - new thread here!

lol sagitta, if you manage a satay pizza i will be pretty impressed! I've got quite a bump but hadn't washed any of my maternity trousers so had to put on pre-preg jeans today. luckily i am wearing a long top cos i've had to keep them undone note to self: do not be so lazy when it comes to washing or you will suffer!

Ellie - I had a catch up with my manager yesterday, we were looking ahead to next year's work, and she said "I bet it's really nice knowing you won't be here to do this?"

I think "YEP" was out of my mouth a bit too quickly

I want a childminder TA - as you say I like the one to oneness of it. Having said that, in work (am social worker) have come accross a few situations that have scared me about the care might receive and the lack of checks they have. A nursery is more accountable I think. I would like a childminder, but it has to be one I know either personally or by recommendation from someone I trust, good word of mouth etc. Plus I don't really want them having any adult sons living at home (I know that sounds horrid of me, but honestly, I have recently seen some horrendous cases) and I would need to see that they had some idea of Child Protection issues so that my child was properly supervised at all times.

Toastaddict- I don't have any personal experience but it seems like childminders are great when kids are very small but as soon as they're a bit bigger (even from age 1) a good nursery/creche can be really beneficial. They learn to mix with other kids, make friends, share and hopefully learn tons if the creche has lots of activities. At 2 yrs they were teaching my niece words in French and all sorts of stuff. Of course it all depends on how good the creche is. The downside is probably that they pick up all sorts in a creche (colds etc.) but that probably builds up their immune system too! Anyway, I'm just talking about what I saw with my niece who went to a nursery in London. i'm sure the other mothers here have some really good advice.

On the work bitching, here is the aforementioned email from my boss. Sent at 7.40 last night. I was crying when the girl who sits opposite me got in this morning! and it TOTALLY wasn't my fault - I was given about three hours to do this thing for a meeting I was never told about and I've never used powerpoint before - I actually think I did pretty well!

,

I would like you to reflect on your efforts in relation to the fiasco today concerning the putting together of the presentation pack for this meeting.

I cannot help but think that your efforts were nowhere near good enough. Leaving things to the last minute - to the point where the pack was sub standard and indeed never actually got printed by graphics - is both unnecessary and highly unprofessional. Furthermore, it puts an unwelcome stress on others that is entirely avoidable. You need to be seriously more organised. (That was underlined!!)

I am deeply concerned - and would not wish to see a repeat performance.

H

oh my goodness peachy pmsl at anakin! ds has a thing about star wars lately and keep saying to dh 'you won't chop my hand off like luke's daddy did will you?'. woke up the other morn put up his arms and said 'look mummy both hands still' mmm good.

oh ellieg why do u hate work? i know how u feel but keep your chin up. only 5 wks til xmas.

toast - regarding childminder i don't use one but have a colleague who does. I think she would much rather her dd went to a nursery but childminder is much cheaper. my ds goes to my mum 2 days, sil 1 day and nursery 2 days. was once full time nursery but would have needed a 2nd mortgage to sustain that! i love his nursery and it has done wonders for him. my dh has a son from a previous rel who is only slightly older than my dh. he went to a childminder while ds has always been at nursery and the diff between them is unbelievable. The skills ds has - socially, academically, numerically etc are months ahead of dss and i can attribute at least 50% of that to the fact he has been at nursery (other 50% MUST be my genes - kidding ). So i am personally a big advocate of nureseries and would highly recommend. if you can afford, i would even suggest mixing childminder with a nursery? that way you get best of both worlds. either way make sure you find childcare you 100% trust. as i said ds's nurseryis fab and i wasn't so impressed with some others as they do vary, have certain feels etc. i loved the atmosphere there and was set on it before i even saw ofsted reports etc (which turned out to be outstanding). My number obne priority was that he would be in a place that felt warm, caring etc.

sorry i have blabbed on and on, i have found it hard to explain myself - sorry.

i'm not sure what i am doing about childcare, hoping to take 9 months off and think about it nearer the time. not sure i can afford full time nursery again so may need to split with in law and parental help

And I LOVE DD's nursery as she gets so much social interaction, though it's hard to tell if that's a cause or a product of her being a very gregarious little monkey. My friend with a son at a childminder also loves it. For me the decision was made by a) finding an amazing (and cheap!) nursery 5 mins walk away and b) not really having the time to go round and visit all the childminders. I think it totally depends on the childminder. If you can I would go with a recommendation (that may be a totally unhelpful suggestion if you don't have lots of friends in the area with kids). I would start soon as waiting lists can be really long and it's worth having a couple of options that you're happy with.

Scampmum, that was pretty nasty of your boss!

Scampmum!! how rude of your boss (bordering on bullying imo) - poor you. . Forget him and his testosterone overload ...

(my (lack of)bump is on my profile now)

date is wrong on that photo - let me try again (incase you think I am hoodwinking you all ! )

Poor scampmum - what a horible email. Did boss know you only had three hours? I hope you put him straight...I seem to be in trouble with mine too at the moment. So I'm putting off the pregnancy news as she scares the living daylights out of me.

Toast - I agree with paranoidmummy. If you can affor nursery, they are great for socialising, sharing etc. They have great toys (so you don't need to have many at home) and there is more than one person looking out for them. I was always worrid that if CM was having an offday, as we all do, that would be tough on DD. At nursery, there is always someone else there.
Thanks for reminding me abut washing, PMummy. It's been sat in the machine all day...not that good at being a SAHM, I guess...

scampmum - i would tell your boss to go f### himself. but then i'm not a very nice person!

I think DD and I might do some playdoh tonight - I will teach her how to make a tall man, and save the pins for after she has gone to bed!!

Thanks for childcare opinions - it is so hard to know what to do for the best. Problem is, DH is not keen on me going back to work at 1 year! We've not discussed it much yet - plenty of time - but I think he feels it is too soon to take a young child away from its parents. I know it is OK, and will probably manage to convince him, but I did wonder if a childminder would be a good compromise. But what you're saying about development is pushing me back towards nursery!!!

Scampmum -

Toast - your boss is nasty and has he lost his tongue? I think it's really unprofessional to write an e-mail like that. The normal thing would be to TALK to you if he had something to say. It's quite reflective of someone's personality if they have to write stuff instead of discussing it.

ps Sagitta I was going to tell him today, but decided to put it off until next week! I will be 18 weeks so will quite enjoy pointing out that I will only have 18 weeks to go.

sorry, I meant scampmum!

and thank you all, makes me feel much better! He is a total c*ck and I've always known that. Quite pleased he chose to email instead of talking to me so I have hard evidence!

Oh, and Toast, I was thinking you'd be putting LO's name down a year in advance - totally forgot about the five months we have left to go before the births! wishful thinking today - I guess 17 months might be a bit early but you could start a bit before the EDD so you're not trying to do it with a tiny baby. We went round DD's nursery when she was a week old (so DH could come too as he was on pat leave) - I lasted about two seconds before I started crying, blubbed for whole visit and then about two hours afterwards!

scampmum! What a horrid nasty boss! I will stick pins in things for you too x

TA - you are lucky your DH doesn't want you to go back to work - mine is balking at the thought of me taking a year off but I am standing firm. We will be very skint, but I SO want to if I can.

I would like childminder for first year back, and then nursery when hits 2 I think - as you say, lovely for them to get social interaction and I think it prepares them better for school. If not can go to school nursery at 3 and a half though.

I send DD to a childminder, yes she is nearly 7, but I was still a bit unsure of it, thankfully our childminder is my old nextdoor neighbour, personally for a young baby I would probably try a nursery, but the nursery DS went to at 8months old, a friend worked at, and apparently some of the babies were ignored as whingers, luckily she was there to look after Ds and she said he was one of the favourites, but I hate to think what it may have been like if he wasnt a favourite? It's best to go for any reccommendations you can get from friends/colleagues etc, then go and see them, any reputable nursery/childminder will allow you to have upto two settling in sessions when you decide to take baby to them so at least you can see how they are when you're there.

Maybe post on the childminder threads, see if they can give any advice, or reccommend someone in your area, there may even be one on there suitable for you.

Can't decide whether to wake up DD. She slept for 15 hours last night, and has just had another two, and its bedtime in 3 hours...any advice?

Thanks VS - didn't even know there was a childcare thread!! MN is endless!

Ellie - just cos dh doesn't want me to go back to work, doesn't mean we can afford it!! Unfortunately, I earn more than he does, so it makes it even harder. He loves his job whereas I put up with mine for the money. So neither of us would do well if I went back to work and he stayed at home to do childcare, which financially makes sense!!

oh sagitta, i hate those decisions. how old is she?

last wk when ds was poorly he wanted to go to bed at 4 and i was really unsure about it. gave in in the end and he slept til 8 the next morn. so if she's poorly then maybe best to leave her?

Blimey, really? He slept that long? I'm always terrified that if I put her to bed early, she'll get up early (very mean mother). She's two at Christmas. Maybe I should leave her...

I would wake her up. I think it's confusing for them when it starts getting dark so early. Had same thing with DD on Sunday (went down for nap late) and wasn't sure so just went and stroked her gently and she woke up, so I figured she was in light sleep anyway. She was very cross and confused, but went down for bed 2 hours later and slept through (19 months).