August 2021 - Scans and booking in!

[BertieBotts]

Continuation of August 2021 thread :)

@Miniheart That is pretty rubbish, are you in the UK? I've not heard of photos not being available at all, I wonder if you could ring them up to double check this? Sometimes the letter templates are very old, maybe that's an error?

On that note re ringing antenatal, I had the same problem as you now @HopefulB but with regard to changing the date of my consultant appt so less urgent. The only thing that worked was calling them outside their working hours (!) when they finally picked up, at 6pm. The line is open till 4pm supposedly I would also get your MW on the case ASAP, this is ridiculous. Mine was ready to help me with slotting my appt in at the right time, keep pressing on everyone, don't give up! 💐

@MrsB2019x If they continue, I'd go and tell them to have some sympathy as you're pregnant and not getting any joy 🤣 I bet they'd feel awkward haha! Annoying though, I'm with you!

So the news of me expecting have spread a bit thanks to my secretaries, not an issue. One texted me to ask if she can tell few other teams (we're all WFH), bless her she's very happy for me so she means well. But, I have colleagues going through infertility and friends who I know have had losses too. I've been on the receiving end of unexpected announcements in person and surprise photos on Fb/insta and whilst I was happy for them, every time it cut me like a knife. I decided that if I can't tell people gently in the way that I hope is right in their circumstances then I won't be spreading the news widely just yet. I know they may find out anyway and at some point it will come out, obviously when my son is born. I am quite enjoying this lockdown privacy as well. I don't know what I'll do later in pregnancy yet, or when he's born, deffo not pictures of his back or emoji faces (no offence!), but I think I'll be pretty restrained and selective to protect him, that's my instinct now. I suppose I'll see how we go. I'm slowly just generally getting fed up of SM and that's my starting point. I've been posting less and less since lockdown last year and prefer WhatsApp now xx

I’m the same as you @PurplePansy05 - getting sick of SM. We’re not doing any SM announcements - mainly because it’s such a high risk pregnancy and who knows what will happen until the babies are safely out so feels for us weird to publicly announce. We have been telling friends and family on WhatsApp groups and that has been a lot of fun. The shock of triplets is hilarious!!! I’ve started screenshotting people’s reactions if it’s on FaceTime or something haha - one for a baby album maybe.

@MrsB2019x hilarious re neighbours!!! What a welcome to the neighbourhood Hope you get a nap in today!

Also bought the Kally pillow past night - thanks for that code @LyraShaeLilly! Didn’t come with free extra cover but the code covered that.

@PurplePansy05 I nearly got up and thumped the wall but thought that a) it’s not a great impression haha and b) it would have only woken me up more!

@Champson Absolutely not hilarious 😂 I was so angry at 3:30!! Our previous neighbours were really loud (screaming at each other and their kids ) so we were quite looking forward to having different people but if this is how it’s gonna go I want the old ones back! When I have baby and it cries I’ll take it over to the bedroom wall 😏

@MrsB2019x That made me lol 🤣 These guys don't know what's coming their way, haha!

@Champson I can totally see what you're saying. Mine is only a singleton but I still have that what if kind of worry too, not overwhelming, but it's there. I bet the WhatsApp reactions are priceless, what a lovely gift for your babies this is going to be later 😊 Re spare Kally cover, it comes with one cover, you're right (with some pillows you have to buy a cover separately I think). Glad you got two! I might see if they have them in different colours later xx

Woohoo! I have an appointment on the 18th, which is bang on 13weeks by LMP, but probably a little less as I think I ovulate late.

Would those with the Kally pillows recommend them? After another horrendous nights sleep I'm desperate. Could you please also remind me of the code?x

@Alittlexmasmagic I use mine every night, I find it is firm but not over the top, just right to hold the weight of my head/arm/leg and probably bump in due course. Good back support, including lower back (the U shaped one). Nice cotton cover, no weird fluff or synthetic feel. Takes half the size of the bed wit me in it (of a double bed). I use it with a pillow tucked in underneath Kally under my head. The only dislike for me is that when I first got it, it took me some time to adjust to know what to do with my arms so I don't get pins and needles. It's comfy and you end up in one position for hours. But I've now found my happy spot, between the two pillows (left) and over Kally (right arm), a bit lower down so I don't touch the zip of the case. Bliss. It's also perfect for sitting down comfortably, I now watch TV in it too, it's just relaxing. So I would recommend. I did not use the code but I'm sure the ladies who used it will share again now 😊 xx

@Miniheart

My scan appointment letter says to bring my camera/phone into the appointment as we won’t be offered any scan prints and can’t even pay for them 🙁

Which hospital are you at? I was at Kings for my first pregnancy and this is their policy. Their reasoning is that they are a research facility and so busy they simply cannot provide photos without it costing them significant amounts. They were happy to help us choose the best stills and spend our time taking photos though. We got some wonderful pictures and loads of them too - their scans are the clearest I've ever seen. We also got to record video too which I know a lot of places don't allow.

@HopefulB Good news! ☺️ Hopefully you can relax a little now

@PurplePansy05 Glad it made you lol, I was not lol’ing at 3:30 😂

Code was NHS20 for Kally pillow from @LyraShaeLilly I think? My husband saw me using it and was like, shouldn't you work for the NHS to use that?? oops 😳

@Alittlexmasmagic

The code that keeps coming up on my FB is NHS20 but I don't think you actually have to be NHS to use it for the Kally pillow.

With the notes thing I just wanted to document that I want an ELCS. Therefore if my local hospital cannot provide this I need to go somewhere that can. When mentioned it to MW she said it's not her decision so to ask the consultant.

I just thought this was really dismissive as it's my decision only and some women are MW led therefore some MW do have to refer/make a decision.

Also all the NICE/NHS/RCOG state to tell MW as early as possible RE tokophobia as therapy may be needed, I don't want anyone to tell me it's too late for therapy when I asked early on so just want it documenting that I asked about this?

I have done lots of research and I have other risk factors, 40% of births in my circumstances end in section anyway therefore don't want to go through all that pain and trauma of a VB to end up with section anyway when I can just have a section.

@Champson

I wouldn't worry if it works it works, this is a general code on FB, I do work for NHS but not sure how FB knows that, if you get my drift.

Thanks @LyraShaeLilly
In this situation I'd be tempted to agree with your MW. I di think she's explained the process really badly though. It is entirely your decision however it would be the consultants role, rather than hers, to arrange. If you're consultant led for other factors, then you should already be referred and there's no further action for her. If not, then she should refer. Hopefully your consultant will be more informative, I'm assuming you'll see/hear from them around your 12week scan appointment?x

My announcement simply said "we've waited a long time for you🤍" so hopefully everyone who may be upset by it will understand that it too took us a long time to conceive. I always used to get upset by announcements but they always seem to say "surprise baby" or such like which made me angry so I wanted to address infertility etc. I didn't post any pictures of my DS on social media until he was about 4.

Hello all, hope everyone is doing well.

Has anyone else been a little caught off guard by the disappearance of awful symptoms now that we're moving out of the first trimester and into the second? Aside from some tiredness and trouble sleeping, I feel more of less normal. I'm grateful - but it's bizarre after 2 months of unpleasantness. I don't even 'feel' pregnant the past few days...
(And sending my sympathy to anyone who is still suffering, even into the 2nd trimester, because I know not everyone feels better!)

@LyraShaeLilly I haven't thought about the birth yet. Does anyone know when we need to decide on this, I thought hoped it's something to think about later on?? 🙈 I think I've always thought I'd give birth naturally but then some of my friends' stories did make me wonder 🙈 It's all a bit overwhelming to me. I'm now also bombarded with advice on various mum/baby stuff from well-wishing friends, which is lovely, but it's geting a bit much sometimes! xx

@WolfMother326 I'm eating fine and feeling normal 90% of the time. Even my back is ok. If it wasn't for that occasional breast pain (now helped with keeping warm) and getting out of breath easily, I really wouldn't have said I'm pregnant. Yesterday I felt some tightening in my uterus/cervix, odd, but that's gone too. It is weird and a bit unnerving at times to feel ok, isn't it. It's a long wait till the next scan/baby movements. Just hoping weeks will go fast now like they seem to be xx

You can defo wait until later to make a decision. It's something you can discuss with your midwife as well. Although they usually recommend vaginal birth unless there is a specific risk factor pointing towards caeserean. It is possible to have an elective section in the UK but you have to meet with the consultant to request it and the assumption is that you won't unless you need one.

I assume antenatal classes aren't running at the moment but would defo recommend you look into them for any first timers - it was a godsend having a ready made group of friends and there are loads more options than just NCT these days.

Just thinking that they may be running later in the spring/summer if not online or something!

@WolfMother326 honestly since I've hit 12 weeks my sickness and nausea has just vanished ! I've tried not to get too excited but it's literally disappeared and my appetite for vegetables and nice tasting food has returned! I'm still exhausted at most things but have got some energy back. Its the whole body dry and itching that's reminding me I'm pregnant and I seem to wake up without fail at about 5am most mornings. Other than that most other things have gone. Started to develop a small bump too which is exciting. Can't wait for it to grow. Exciting to think I may feel first movements in 3 weeks!

Antenatal classes were great with DS and I made a bunch of friends I'm still in contact with now and again. We used to meet up regularly and DS goes to school with 3/4 of the children who were born the same time as him.

I think for birth plans its pretty much later on 3rd trimester maybe ? I don't really want to set too much in stone so feeling mine may be very simple. I think last time it was about 3 words and 2 out of those 3 words didn't happen or couldn't so 🙈

@PurplePansy05

I've been scared of birth ever since I can remember so even though it's early on in pregnancy it's always on my mind, sometimes I can't sleep thinking about being refused a ELCS so I just wanted it dealt with early.

If I end up with a VB my birth plan is not going to be set in stone as it already wont be going to plan if VB. The only thing I want them to know if VB is that I want every single method of pain relief available and an epidural!!!

I know this isn't "normal" which is why I thought they may insist on therapy hence why thinking about it early.

@BertieBotts

Yes I think I would really benefit from these classes, are they private or available through the NHS? Does your MW need to refer?

@LyraShaeLilly I see. I don't blame you at all, it is a big event and even though it's natural, it is scary. Whatever gives you peace of mind if you're anxious, I'm all for it 💐

We've actually signed up for NCT on Monday. We have a 2.5 day course in July I think, weekends and evenings. It's not NHS funded, it's a charity and you need to pay for the course. It's meant to happen in person, if not, they'll move it online. I've signed up because in my area they were really selling out, there were less than 3 spaces available and I thought we were quite organised clearly not. I'd love to be able to meet local parents and stay in touch, and you're right @BertieBotts, they'll talk through different birth options then, but I think this will be a bit late for ELCS for example, although still relevant in case if C-section proves needed eventually xx

Classes are private although NHS may run some. You don't need a referral, just Google for antenatal courses in your area and contact them directly. You usually need to book around now.

I know a lot of NHS courses are cancelled currently. Mine that I did 13 years ago were no good anyway, there were so many people crammed in one room and the info was really basic. NCT was much better but I've heard differing reviews of NCT on MN, and my ex NCT teacher now runs her own company offering classes. I can recommend if anyone is in the Warwickshire area.

I did both NCT and NHS classes and both were brilliant in their own ways.
The NCT was great for social contacts and also general care of a baby. Most of us had never been near a nappy before.
The NHS classes were very factual and didn't shy away from talking about interventions. We got to hold a set of forceps & von teuse (sp?) and were told how and when they might be used. We were also told about pain relief options etc.
NCT I found shied away from this a bit, they were mentioned briefly on a laminated sheet that was handed around.

You should be provided with an NHS number to ring to book in post 20+ weeks, most on there are 30+ weeks. NCT you can book on the website but again most people are later on in the pregnancy.

@PurplePansy05 you can change your mind at any point. Please, please, please don't listen to anyone else's birth stories. It's like some competition to see who had it worse. Even people who had straightforward births often put an emphasis on the worst bits so they can't be judged for having an easy one. Bonkers!

@LyraShaeLilly totally understand your reasons for ELCS but you shouldn't have to justify it. Might be worth looking at something like a hypnobirthing class and pregnancy yoga, which could help your anxiety in the lead up xx

@lucyrp that is my exact experience too! Except I only wanted vegetables and carbs during my nauseous first trimester, I couldn't stomach sweet or greasy/salty food. But now my eating seems back to normal, and I just wake up at around 4 or 5 am every day... also really excited for moements!

@PurplePansy05 glad you're feeling better too. I expect that the uterus/pelvic pain will continue as you start to grow a bigger bump!