September 2020 4

[ChipsAreLife]

New thread...

@ShyOwl got them from my midwife

@Margo34 aw that must have been hard to hear but it’s probably not an unusual feeling so it’s probably a good thing that he’s talking openly about these feelings and you can talk about them before baby comes (when I’m sure other feelings will take over).

@Margo34 haha!! My partner and I actually talked quite early on in our relationship how we didn't want to be like those couples that sit on their phones all the time! We were quite good at not using phones but now TBH I'm always online looking at baby stuff and as we are both home things have changed! I'm glad all the important baby stuff is now bought! I'm really starting to feel 30 weeks! So glad it's all done, are you organised? I can focus on nursery now and getting house ready (moves Ito a new place few months ago and so much to do). Have you got a nursery? Maybe involve your DH in that / go pram shopping? I try to get my partner to talk to our baby but he won't! Lol I do tho !!

@ShyOwl I saw them on boots and amazon too.

@ShiningStarz I have phone-free days a couple of times a week and always put my phone down if ating/watching something together on TV. He won't! We have a spare room that will become baby room once DH has cleared his 5h1t out! We also wrestle for wardrobe space (he has 3, plus 2 chests of drawers, play dominates the coat and shoe cupboard) so that's currently taking up the spare room...but I digress. The room also needs work doing to repair damp 🙈 was just about to get it sorted before lockdown and contractors still haven't managed to reschedule us yet. DH has no interest in involvement with purchasing prepsring nursery (or any house DIY generally, I own a toolkit and do all the repairs where I can get away with it) and little to no interest in baby products, despite my efforts to involve him. He's decided we won't need a pram because I bought a sling and carrier. He has no interest in baby clothes or nursery furniture. He did let me get some reuseable cloth nappies. I've put him in charge of car seat thinking it might help if he had a manageable task to focus on, and again he has no interest. Good job I've got friends and family who have offered to loan us bedside crib, cot, and now a car seat (known history) plus a few hand me down clothes too. But generally no, I don't feel organised. He won't talk to baby either!! Just a general lack of interest from him is passing on my parade a bit. Oh well. Hopefully it will pass!!

@Margo34 I really hope he starts to engage soon or at least when baby arrives. Relationships are hard work at the best of times. Glad Youv friends and family supporting you. Vent on here as much as you like xx

@Chanel05 apparently breech babies (bum down) like ours having more risk of hip problems. I'm going to buy gym ball to start bouncing on and look at some excercises to encourage baby to flip!! Will also ask midwife when I see her in 10 days, will let you know what she says

@Margo34 that sounds really hard. Only you can know whether this is just normal for him or is there something more going on here? Prenatal/post natal depression can affect dads as well as mums, but it's not talked about as much so people don't seem to realise. If it's that it might help him to talk to his gp?

If however he's just being grumpy generally then I'd be sitting down with him and having some serious conversations now because it will be a lot easier now than when the baby is here! Unfortunately one of my best friends has a husband who completely disengaged when she had a baby, the baby is one now and he has never really been involved in any of the care or mental load and it's taking its toll on her. She says she wishes she'd addressed it and nipped it in the bud right at the beginning but now feels like they are stuck in the rut of her doing all the work!

My husband definitely went through a little panic stage just before i had our son - We had been trying for years, had miscarriages and fertility treatment and I think as the reality dawned it all just threw him off kilter. I had no idea until he came home from a work function more drunk than I've ever seen him before and had a big drunken crying conversation about how worried he was etc. Seemed to get it all out of his system and he was fine after that!

Just catching up on the thread!

@ShiningStarz think it was you who mentioned both colostrum harvesting and c-section worries: definitely ask your midwife about the colostrum harvesting. I had to do it once Wren was born and the maternity care assistants in the hospital were amazing at showing me what to do and helping me get my milk to come in - I was really worried with him being born so early but it’s been totally fine.

C-section was also genuinely a lovely experience. Anaesthetist was fantastic at keeping me cheery and chatting to me throughout and the delivery midwife was so excited and bubbly and took loads of photos for us (they ask first and obviously make sure they’re tasteful) so it was a really positive experience. It is just that day or two after when you’re working on walking again that’s a bit of a struggle but it gets better so quickly!

Thank you for that @Sara7455
I really need to work on getting this baby head down or I feel it will be a C section, the added risk of the GD puts me at higher risk anyway. Yep will chat to midwife and consultant about it all the next appt.
Hope baby Wren is doing well, what does he weigh now? Lots love 💙

Hello all
Can anyone recommend a nice light baby blanket for baby hospital bag. I got an Aden and anis one but I think it will be too big and too thick.
Thanks

@ShiningStarz he’s 2lbs8 now. He’s tolerating being milk fed really well so he should start gaining weight quite well I’m hoping!

@Laura1348 could you use a muslin swaddle if it’s going to be warm? We’ve been gifted a nice crochet knit blanket from John Lewis that’s lovely but chances are it might be too warm for that in September as well!

That's great to hear @Sara7455 glad all is going well x

@Sara7455 that's great news! So so happy for you.

A little late but finally took a bump picture!

He seems to be getting bigger each week nice and has risen quite a lot! 💙

Happy Sunday all

@Sara7455 yes I suppose I could- a good idea! Just starting to think about hospital bag and want to 'get it right'! Seems soooo much stuff...
Thank you

@ShiningStarz ahh I see! How do they know after birth that it's gone? Blood test?

I've just bought a ball actually in the hope that baby turns!

@CNovittBolden mine has for higher too and definitely more like a pregnancy bump in the last week!!

@Chanel05 I went to Argos today and got the ball!! Will start bouncing around tomorrow and do some form of exercises on all 4's!! Yep baby has to pass sugars too before they let you go home !

@ShiningStarz my first was frank breech the whole time, had a section at 39w. Tried everything natural to turn, he didn't. The policy for breech back years ago for me was to come back to hosp with baby at 6weeks old to have a hip check, all was fine. I had nightmares of baby coming out and his legs staying around his ears forever but they went down as normal straight after birth to my relief!

I declined the ECV that is offered based on both my Mum's sisters having breech babies too and their experiences with the ECV made my decision for me not to try. Family genetics!

I'm 29+2 now and have a breech again so far, saw at 20w and 25w scans and MW also thought so by feeling at 28w appt last week. MWs will tell you not to worry until 35w and say most babies turn on their own to be head down by "term", which is why they don't usually worry about it until 35w. However if you know now it might be worth encouraging a turn while there is space in there still to swing around!

I'm having another section this time anyway so it doesn't matter but first time around I tried everything to turn! It was sooooo uncomfortable with a head jammed under my ribs, but it might also be uncomfortable having a head pushing into my cervix as I have nothing to compare it too! But I did feel all my ribs were bruised and was so tender towards the end. Not looking forward to that this time around if the baby doesn't flip around! x

@HugeAgeGap thank you so much for sharing your experience. I'm already feeling a bit of discomfort under ribs on the side I know little ones head is and there's still couple months to go yet!! I'm not keen on medical intervention for turning either. I haven't had discussions with the consultant re my concerns ECV and delivery and how being GD changes things. I'll be sure to have that chat with him when I'm next in (week after next). It's getting close now that I don't want to leave it too late as with GD little ones arrival could be much sooner than normal. I'll get bouncing on the ball!! Did you try the Chinese technique? Can't remember what's it's called but involved some kind of candle at toe?? I think I'll try music positioned so the head moves towards it and maybe hot/cold!!

Anyone else thinking about having a planned c section (particularly those who had c sections first time around)? I’m thinking about it but haven’t totally made up my mind !

I am @MostlyAmbridgeandcoffee

My first was an emergency. My second was planned. This one is 'medically indicated' basically I don't have a choice because when I had my last baby my uterus wouldn't behave and I had a small PPH and needed a hormone drip to get it to contract back.

I would have chosen a section anyway so it's all worked out 😊

@MostlyAmbridgeandcoffee I am hoping for a VBAC this time but there's about ten Percent of me that's thinking of going for a planned c section instead. The thing really putting me off is that my recovery from my c section was really hard, both emotionally and physically. But it was a category 1 emcs and everyone says planned c sections are so much easier.... So I just don't know! I sort of feel with my combination of factors I'll end up with a c section anyway so maybe I just need to come to terms with it!

@MostlyAmbridgeandcoffee I'm having a planned section this time. Had a planned section last time for breech. This time chatted with a consultant and we agreed it would be safer to have another planned one this time around. Main things for me was I haven't yet had a vaginal birth so this made a difference with the success rate of VBAC and I've had some cervix treatment resulting in a scarred cervix and again this could effect dilation with a VBAC. I really don't want an emergency section as the planned one was bad enough so that I as my decision. I am terrified this time around too!!

@ShiningStarz I've not heard of a Chinese technique? I mainly tried all the stuff on all 4s, stuff in the swimming pool, that kind of thing! I just knew he hadn't moved, he was totally wedged there last time around! x

@HugeAgeGap it's called moxibustion - an ancient Chinese technique! Who knows !!

@ShiningStarz I tried moxibustion but it never worked. I also had two failed ecv and did all the positions on spinababies, did handstands in the pool, nothing worked. Even when I had the csection, they struggled getting him out 🤣