Due Jan 2008.......................Asleep on our feet..............zzzzzzzzzzz.....................

[MotherofZ]

Hello
am over here...!!!

Better measure the mattress sizes tho as I'm not 100% sure.

My DH is giving up as well and driving me nuts. Tried to send me out in foul weather to get sweets for him last night otherwise he said he would go himself and buy fags. In the end I won & he got neither.

Lulubump - we're considering something like this:

www.mothercare.com/gp/product/B000VDO2J6/sr=1-3/qid=1190108451/ref=sr_1_3/203-8897847-2060712?ie=UTF 8&m=A2LBKNDJ2KZUGQ&n=44470031&mcb=core

Mixedmama, that's exactly what I was worried about - seems like quite a bit of expense for not a lot of time. In terms of moving baby around the house/using for short visits, I was thinking of getting the babybjorn sitter (link here)- which lasts until the age of about 2yrs, and doesn't really cost more than a moses basket plus stand.

Angechica - good point about measuring up, I'll definitely do that. Good for you not giving in to DH's quit-smoking grouchiness. I've been trying to persuade mine to stop, but not really having a lot of success so far (although he now goes and smokes in the garage since I've been pg) - Any tips?

Naetha - thanks for the link, that looks like a really sensible buy.

my dp smoked since we met 12 years ago the clincher for him to stop last week was ds5 saying he didn't want him to die . I hope he sticks to it but he did promise ds , think it must have really got to him!

Lulubump - DS has a chair aswell, but I think it is not recommended they sleep in those as they should be flat on their back. I could be wrong tho... but i guess you will use the cot for daytime. What pram / pushchair are you getting as if it has pram attachement you can just use that for when you are out and about elsewhere and baby can sleep in it until cot time anyway.

I wish my DH would realise with the whole smokin thing. He used the patches b4 and they worked quite well once he found a brand that worked for him and now you can get them on prescription I just dont know why he doesnt do it.

As a former smoker (and hoping never to start again!!), I always knew I should quit, but the thought of trying and failing would just send me into a panic and I'd end up smoking even more than usual - so I can sympathise that its actually really hard to stop. In fact, I think I'm really lucky that even the idea of smoking made me ill in the first trimester, because I don't know how I would have managed to quit if I really felt like smoking.

Lilyloo - that's really powerful, wow! Hope it gets your DH to stop for good.

Mixedmama - the chair thing I had linked to lies completely flat, and has 3 adjustable positions.

About prams/pushchairs - I loved the Quinny, until I went to see it in John Lewis and the assitant couldn't get it to collapse (thought 'if she can't do it, and its her job, what chance do I have?? ), then was leaning towards the Silver Cross three-wheeler, but have now decided that a three wheeler might be a bit of a nightmare on public transport....so am now looking at the Maclaren Techno.

There's a smoking cessation clinic at our local pharmacy who give out patches etc. every week free on prescription without having to go to the doctors as long as you are tested negative for nicotine each week (a breath test I think). I think that works better for heavy smokers.

DH does not smoke at work (a school) & only smokes 4 or 5 a day if not going out. About what I used to and i think that can sometimes make the habit harder to break as you delude yourself it's not that bad!

I think it's a question of removing the triggers you associate psychologically with smoking as well as the physical cravings.

Smoking was something we used to do together after dinner etc. I have not touched one since getting PG and will hopefully never smoke again.

Also going to bed early helps - til the first week or 2 and the physical cravings will be over.

Other triggers to avoid - having a drink in the evening - again just for the first couple of weeks. Have a couple of weeks off going out with mates etc.

I have told him he cannot touch the baby or breathe on it for 1/2 hour after smoking as well. Show him something about cot death and smoking - that's what my midwife advised.

Hope any of these ideas help x

If it goes flat then that sounds like a good solution.

DH doesnt actually want to give up I think and that is the problem. He also insists on smoking in the toilet (apprently it helps) drives me absolutely mad.

• mixedmama, can't get over the smoking in the toilet thing! You've got me laughing and I'm starting to attract some funny looks at work!

Hello ladies

BWMum ? hello I know what you mean about the fear of making a mistake with the buggy ? they are all expensive, especially if you end up buying a second because the first one doesn?t work for you (I have so many friends who have done that!) I thought the Quinny was good but because I just couldn?t use the safety clip, we ruled it out. You must be strong! The Silver Crosses look lovely but weren?t practical for us so thank goodness we could rule a few out there! We are going to look at the Icandy apple, the Jane solum (?) and the First Wheels City Elite (as recommended by another Mumsnetter) this weekend and take it from there.

We are taking our baby on a long haul holiday mid April ? so I can see where your thoughts are taking you! lovely to be in SA for 7 weeks the weather will be far more conducive to taking the buggy out. We are also planning to move permanently to Spain at the end of March so I am with you on the bed considerations. I have to say, that is one of the reasons I am so swayed towards the bugaboo chameleon, Beanie could sleep in it when we first get to Spain and on the holiday in April and then I can think about getting a cot when we settle in Spain. In the meantime here, we may get a crib instead of a moses basket so it lasts a bit longer ? decisions, decisions! One tip I was given was to put the chassis of the buggy in a big sports bag to protect it from over zealous baggage handlers ? it would be so upsetting if they bust a brand new, expensive buggy before the holiday began! My Mum already has a car seat in Spain so I don?t need to take one with me ? would be great if you could borrow some stuff in SA wouldn?t it? I don?t think you are thinking about it too early, there will be so many other things to think about soon that you might forget to think about the holiday!

MrsBiscuit good plan to get the buggy in now to learn all its tricks! DH and I have been planning a move to Spain for about a year now. My folks live and work over there and I grew up there and I just have an urge to go home now and DH is going to work with my Dad as his protégée, we are really excited but need to get our house sold here first and have the baby of course it is a big move but we really think that it is the best thing to do for our little family We?ll be in the South ? Malaga province. 4 years will go quickly I?m sure! Don?t tell me you are currently in Otterburn?!

Mixedmama ? sorry about your MW. What you have said about free time and what appeals now is true of me too, I don?t think it?s the baby that will change what we do necessarily but I can already see the things we want to do changing. Your heart will expand hon, you won?t have to share the love you already have for DS.

Lulubump ? that cot looks good we have quite a bit of Ikea furniture and it all seems to stand the test of time perfectly. My understanding is that you don?t need a pre-cot bed so long as the baby is swaddled or doesn?t feel like it has too much space. That said, I want a crib or moses basket as don?t want to buy a cot until we get to Spain.

Beller ? re your friend, I just wanted to say (because I was the one of the other side a few months back) that what I found the worst thing after my MC was that my friends didn?t call or say anything to me because many of them were pg and were worried that they?d be flaunting it in my face, I felt that I still wanted to be in their gang and talk babies and there was nothing I wanted more than to have my baby back but as that wasn?t going to happen, I needed my friends. Luckily for me it wasn?t long before I got pg again and so no damage was done to our friendships but it was such a lonely time. Sorry to talk sad things! Hope the MW appointment goes well, I?ve got one tomorrow too. Wow! The nursery looks amazing! Enjoy the meet-up! I am so I want to be there too!!

Lilyloo ? sorry about DPs aunt you take care hon x

Hey Angechica

Nicky6 no wonder you feel sick, you are doing loads still, I don?t know how you do it! I?m impressed! I have really noticed the need to slow down or pay the consequences. I have become a bit of a hermit!

Anyone feel that time is going really quickly? And on the one hand its great because it won?t be long until I?m hopefully holding my healthy, perfect baby but on the other hand I have so much still to learn and read and there was so much I wanted to do (knit cardis, do yoga etc!) and time is rushing by. It doesn?t help that I still have no idea when my NHS parent craft classes will be or when the NCT ones will be. Do the rest of you have your dates for those?

just tried to make an appointment at docs... ridiculous that i need to call for an appointment between 2.30 and 4.00.

naetha - snap on car seat
This is majorlly busy thread today. Ds ben off this morning, he had a big wobble over junior shool and operation and mummy was cross with him too. He is going in soon, managed to clean most of oven .. yuck and generally tidying today.

will catch up better later x

Lillyloo- not sure what time your aprt is..but questions im thinking of...whats the procedure if you need to transfer in, are their 2 midwifes...one for baby..one for you (think 2nd midwife comes at pushing stage)? Are they water birth trained? mmmm still thinking!

Lulubumo - will let you know what they say tomorow! It will take them alot to put me off.

Mrsmcjnr - thanks for advice . I have spoken to her almost everyday, she does seem better, I offered to go and see her, but she did say she didnt want to see anyone pregnant at the moment, things seem to be a bit better now, I just dont want to upset her. Shes coming down to see me in October with my godson xx

Afternoon all -
Gosh you have been busy!!!

Hope you are well.

Went to M/W this morning and explained to her about my SPD like pain and she was not helpful at all. Bascially she told me to go swimming and not do too much strenouse activity. She seemed so bored when she was saying it, a bit like I've said this a thousand times today already. I told her I was finding it hard to walk for more than 10 mins and she said see how I am in 3 weeks and she will organise a hospital appointment if worse. I was trying to explain to her that I was in pain now and was very dismiss. No leaflets or website information like other people have mentioned...

Just quickly skimmed read the comments for today:

MM - think you should get yourself checked out. Hope you are feeling better.

Beller - your picture looks fab.

Hugs to Lilyloo and nicky6 - Hope you feel better soon.

Angechia - We've got an IKEA cot as well. Have had it for nearly two years and going to be using it for the next one too. I think the quality is just as good as the more expensive Mothercare and other branded cots.

Oh, is tonight the big meet-up. Have a lovely time to whoever is going!!

Meet up is tomorrow night. Very excited.

Am finishing early to go to the hospital to get checked out.

MotherofZ - how rubbish. I must say I find most midwifes full of rubbish at the moment (the ones I have met anyway - I knwo there are many good ones).

all the best with your hospital appointment MM - let us know how it goes.

Beller - sounds like you are a lovely friend

So quiet this afternoon - no one want to answer me on the ante natal class question?

Mrsmcjnr - I dont have any date for my NCT class yet, although i have had an email to say im definately on a course ( they have had to add another one!). I have started my Yoga and have also bought a pre-natal yoga DVD which is fab...there are 3 instuctors on in and you follow a different one for each trimester. Have you tried mailing NCT again? Ill also ask my midwife tomorrow about NHS ante natal xxx

Just had to share my exciting discovery of the Zara maternity range yesterday - lovely soft organic cotton tops (£8), and reasonably priced knitwear (£19) .Went a bit mad, but was completely freezing and those long sleeved tops will come in handy!! Need to find some decent maternity sweaters that don't look like a larger version of a baby's cardigan (those short 2-button ones - YUK!). I went round all the shops yesterday, and only bought one sweater in the end. Anyone had success on the warm clothes front?

mixedmama - hope your doc appointment went well

MotherofZ - grrr at how unhelpful yr m/w was!

fingers crosssed for all those who had midwife appointments today - hope you got one of the few 'nice and understanding midwives' (personally, I am v sceptical that more than a handful exist, but maybe that's just my hormones )

Hi all, gosh you've been busy today. Big hugs and sympathy to those of you with unfriendly midwives...I got really upset with DS1 but this time around am GP only - not that she makes more time (less, if anything) but I mind less as I know she's got other patients to see who are properly sick....not sure if that makes sense! Anyway, she's friendlier as well

MrsMc - we started NCT at 33 or 34 weeks, which felt really scarily late at the time, but then we realised that we wouldn't have remembered anything if we'd done it any earlier, and it was quite a good way to get focussed on the nitty gritty of childbirth in advance of it happening. I think everyone in our class, bar one, made it to the end of the course before they dropped, and the one who didn't started at 36 weeks, so it wasn't too surprising!

Some of it is quite dependant on when the classes in your area fill up or are due to start - so there were people in our class who were only 28 weeks because that was the closest class to their EDD. Having said that, they gave birth 5 weeks early, so their dd was born before our ds who was 2 weeks late!!

Hope that hasn't scared you too much...

On the crib/cot/moses basket/buggy cot front (just to get my tuppence worth in today!) - DS outgrew the bugaboo cot part by around 8 weeks, but he was very very long - I think you can usually get about 10-12 weeks out of it but by that age you'll probably want to be pushing them around in a buggy so they can see the world, not lying down in a cot all the time.

The trouble with the bugaboo is that the cot becomes the buggy, so you can't have both at once...you actually have to deconstruct it and rebuild it (very easy, but you wouldn't do it every day!).

Cribs & moses baskets - great for the first 6-8 weeks, assuming you want the baby in your bedroom and you dont have room for anything bigger, but I'm not sure they're really worth the money. Definitely something that's worth borrowing if poss, you get so little use out of it, but fab while they last as they're probably nicer for newborns than full size cots. Again, we moved ds out of the crib (which he'd outgrown) when he was about 9 weeks and that was the night he slept through for the first time...so you just never know what they're going to prefer!!!

BWMum & MrsMc - I would look into buying a proper travel cot when I got to SA or Spain, or even ordering it online to be waiting for you. Having said that, Saloman make an amazing pop up travel cot, complete with mosquito net and cotton mattress for around £35. It folds down to the size of a dinner plate and weighs nothing...possible the most useful present we were bought. It isn't great for overnights, but is fab for daytime sleeps and moving around (putting babies down for a few hours when visiting family, the beach, the pool etc etc). DS got to know his so well that he would almost instantly go to sleep in it no matter where he was, which was really useful

Finally...IKEA furniture - brilliant stuff, seems to do the job as well as anything else in general! Can't comment for nursery as PIL bought the changing table (john lewis) and next door neighbours lent us cot (mamas & papas) but loads of friends have the changing unit and its great.

Beller will save those qquestions for next visit in a month. I just went in got blood pressure, urine and listened to heartbeat and left. At least all is going textbook! DD got to put jelly on monitor and hold it though, she thought that was great
Have been texting dp and he said he feeling his skin is much better and he doesn't feel as bad despite having a drink last night at the wake as he would have done if he had smoked too. Hope the benefits mean he will keep it up.
Thanks for all your goodwishes ladies.
I haven't got any dates for anything mrsmc as i haven't bothered with any of them after my 1st, soory to be of no more help.
Hope tonight goes brill, anyone taking a camera so you can download us some photo's for the poor ones who live too far away, please.

lulubump. i looked at Zara clothes yesturday , they are lovely. I have bought a few long sleeved tops from H+M maternity..im not going to buy too much more...just wear cardigans etc..bought a lovely one from blooming marvelous...and layer up?

Thanks Beller ? NCT have been back in touch in fairness to them but apparently demand outweighs teachers (one of the reasons I got in touch with them in July ) so there will hopefully be a weekend session near me in November or December but still nothing concrete. I?m going to ask MW again tomorrow about the NHS ones but no doubt, she?ll tell me again that they are when I am 28 weeks plus ? grrrrrr how the hell am I supposed to organise my diary when she won?t give me any details!?

Fluffymummy ? good point about the old memory! my sis had her DS1 a month early and missed most of her classes. Wow, that is young to have outgrown the cot! was that a Gecko or a Chameleon out of interest? Thanks for all your help on the product front. Do you think I am mad then thinking that a moses basket or crib would work until the end of March and that I?d be able to use the Chameleon cot as a bed in mid-April ? I?m due mid-Jan.

Mrs McJnr - my NCT classes also start at about 34 weeks. I wasn't able to book into the NHS classes - the evening classes for December were already booked up when I went for my booking in appointment at 12 weeks and the day classes are between 11 and 2 on Tuesdays and Thursdays. So very practical for people who work! I know you are entitled to time off for antenatal care, but that seemed a bit much to me - and anyway, I find you land up having to catch up the work you miss when you go to antenatal appointments so you'd only be making life difficult for yourself by going during the day.
I did get a letter from the health visitors for our area which listed a few other places where antenatal classes were held so maybe worth finding out from your HV?

Fluffy - thanks for the tip on the travel cot. I'll have a look at the one you mentioned, something that folds up small sounds worth investigating. Amazed to hear your LO was too big for his cot by 8 weeks, I have so much to learn...!

I think you might be being a scrap optimistic about mid-april..and, as I said, you're going to definitely be wanting to use the buggy as a buggy not a pram by then. Otherwise your poor bean will never see the world..!

I have the Bugaboo frog, which is the old one - pretty much the same size as the larger new one but doesnt have front wheel suspension or adjustable height pushing...the former would definitely have been good, that latter didn't matter as me and dh are both about the right height for the fixed handle!

Seriously, most 3 month olds aren't going to be that comfortable in a pram crib at night by that stage...although they might during the day. I don't know about normal sizes, but our proper crib (bought 34 years ago for me to sleep in!) was probably the same size at the bugaboo crib, if not a scrap larger.

But yes, DS was/is unusually tall. He was off the height charts for the first years or so of his life, but is now back down to 75th centile, so a bit more normal (but that's because the chart he's on now is 2-3, and he's only just turned 2!!).