Pregnancy after MMC

[sadtoday21]

Hi everyone! I moved our thread over here so we can all keep in touch as we continue on this journey.

Many congratulations again to @Amanda81 on the birth of your beautiful baby girl Holly! Our first baby on the thread. Also tagging the regulars @Catconfusion @Kiki061190 @bananamonkey. Newcomers welcome as well!

@Catconfusion you are almost there now! Glad that your bp was good and counting the days until Sunday! Sounds like you made the right choice X.

@bananamonkey that sucks about the stretch marks! I was sure I would get them because I have some on my thighs from teenage years, but surprisingly none on my belly that I can see from the pregnancy. It must be just random though because I didn’t use any creams or oils (not sure they work). Can’t wait for your lo to arrive and you too @Kiki061190!

Congratulations @Amanda81 on holly’s 15 week bday! Rumi will be 4 weeks tomorrow - it’s all a blur! We are also too afraid to even leave the house with him unfortunately since we love to take long hikes together. We’ve only gone as far as our garden. It’s so tough having a young baby during these scary times! I’ve been particularly scared about not having access to healthcare - also dreading going to gp for 8 week vaccinations :/.

@Catconfusion The mobility situation is not ideal but at least there is an end in sight. So exciting!!! Can’t wait to hear all about baby boy.

@Amanda81 Happy 15 weeks to Holly 💓

@sadtoday21 Awww 4 weeks already! That’s went by so quickly. I completely understand what you mean. It’s quite scary what’s happening just now and I’m trying to stay in as much as possible because it’s literally not worth the risk to me and baby girl.

4 weeks @sadtoday21 - time is flying by! How are you feeling now? Are you managing to get much sleep? If not, have you thought about taking shifts with the DH. This is what we did initially so that we could both sleep.

Not long for you @bananamonkey - is your LO excited? Have you got everything ready and prepare for the new arrival?

Your not far behind @Catconfusion are you @Kiki061190 - just think we will all definitely have our babies by the end of April!!!

Do you think we will continue this little group chat after we all have our babies? If so, is it worth exploring other platforms? For example, a Facebook group? (I know other groups have been set up). Only a suggestion, and there may be other platforms to consider if there was an appetite for it? Xx

Hey @sadtoday21 it must be so frustrating not to go out with Holly. It’s the reward at the end of it getting to go out and do stuff as I family. Must be even more frustrating since you like hiking. We all know there are very good reasons but it’s still unfair! I hope you navigate the doctors ok for the vaccinations. If this continues it’s something I’m worried about. Also worried about those early midwife visits being cancelled. She said yesterday they are not sure about home visits. It’s just reassuring to have baby checked and talk through any concerns about recovery from the birth. Hopefully this will pass soon! Xx

@Kiki061190 it’s so tough at the moment for us all. But not long now until all our babies are here, xx

@Amanda81 I think a Facebook group is a fantastic idea. It would be lovely to carry on the chat considering all we’ve been through together. This is definitely a special little group! Xx

@Amanda81 I would also love to carry on the chat. I’m sure I’ll have so much advice to ask and it’s great to have you all to chat to since we’ve all been in this together 💓

@Catconfusion I am also a bit concerned about early home visits being cancelled as they’re quite key for checking baby over.

@Catconfusion @kiki061190 my home visits were all cancelled except for the essential blood test and weighing of baby. I was lucky to get in one bf session with the midwife too. It’s so hard not having postnatal care as a first time mum in particular!

I’m struggling over here. Rumi was very fussy last night and wouldn’t stop crying even after feeding, nappe change, tons of soothing and walking around all night. I don’t know what else to do and I’m worried he sounds in pain? No fever or any other worrying signs but he does have three small pimple like blisters around his anus and I don’t know whether this is just normal happy rash or something more serious that is causing him pain. I called the health visitor and doctor but they can’t see the rash and didn’t offer any advice. He used to be so calm after feedings but now feeds all the time (my nipples feel terrible!) and still cries after like he’s straining to poo and it really hurts him. I feel so helpless to know what to do and during normal times a health visitor or gp would help but they can’t now. Is this normal??

@Amanda81 I definitely want to continue the chat and I’m also hoping to learn from you and @bananamonkey and other more experienced mums! Some days are great and other I am at an absolute loss. I’m not on Facebook and have resisted joining this far, is it better than MN? Hope you and Holly are well! ❤️

Just a thought- what about a WhatsApp group? Obviously it’s not anonymous but not sure whether Facebook is either? When we all have newborns it will be tough to check social media a lot, but I’m always on WhatsApp anyway. Just a thought!

Hey @sadtoday21 - I'm not sure if it's normal, but we went through a similar pattern with Holly. The first few months are tough. It's a massive change for the babies, they have so much to experience and probably feel insecure and feel the need for protection. It's also a massive change for first time parents. It's hard! Holly didn't have any spots around her anus, so I can't comment on that, but she did cry when she was trying to go for a poop 💩. My HV/GP and MW said it was perfectly normal, but if baby was going then not to worry...just comfort. When I got to understand Holly a little more, it was definitely the feelings of the waste moving around her intestines that she didn't like, as when she actually got to pooing she was fine and looked relieved. This did continue up until 10/11 weeks, so if it is that, prepare yourself for a couple of months for similar behaviour. Holly has now mastered pooing, she doesn't very silently and we now have to wait for the smell. She is also going more frequently. The bicycle legs do help and also research baby massage to help the digestive system. Plenty of YouTube vids. We also said encouraging words to Holly when she was obviously trying to go. This appeared to help, but who knows if it did. In any case, words of encouragement seem to help her now with things, so the sooner you start 'with who's a good boy' the better, as they like to please and be praised. Tummy time also helps with muscle build up in the abdomen. Rumi may be a little small for this just yet, but once they start to build muscle it helps with pushing. Holly has very good head/neck control so we started with tummy time early and she is already wanting to sit up at every opportunity, although she can't just yet.

In terms of managing how you feel, I found that returning to the thought that Holly was learning, growing and developing so much (all from scratch) that she must be incredibly overwhelmed...more than how I felt (I also felt overwhelmed). She needed the help, encouragement, love and support and all the hugs in the world to make her feel safe, secure and loved. Don't get me wrong, it can be bloody annoying, and I was still learning myself.

He will settle, I promise...he's just learning his groove. Sending you lots of love 💓 xxx

I would say WhatsApp is similar to MN, but is a closed group. I am on WhatsApp and would be happy with the platform. I'm not fussed about revealing my Id (I guess you've all figured out my name by now 😂😂). However, others may not want to. I'm happy to go with the flow.

I resisted Facebook for quite some time, but actually find the connections to what's going on back home really nice. I've recently reconnected with an old school friend, who had a baby 8 weeks before me (her second), and she offers so much lovely advice. Facebook does have its negative points, but I think the positives can override them.

Would you be tempted to join Facebook @sadtoday21, or would you rather not? If not, how does everybody else feel about WhatsApp? Xx

Did you find some infacol @sadtoday21 ?

Thanks so much @Amanda81 I'm now pretty convinced its thrush since I was on antibiotics last week for mastitis and Rumi has a white tongue + sores and the nappy rash. Waiting for the call from the GP now and hopefully can find someone to help me get the prescription. I was willing to believe it was just normal infant behaviour at first, but last night was really bad and he was crying non-stop, even during and after feeds. It's not like him and I think he has an infection. My nipples are also a bit sore and we probably both have it now. FX we can get the prescriptions we need and clear it up fast, he really seems in pain! It's so heartbreaking to watch...makes me feel like a terrible mum :/.

I do think its worth trying the infacol for the colic in general though, I meant to thank you for that tip! It's such a relief to have someone to talk to who has gone through these stages already, particularly given the shortage of medical help right now and not having any other female friends or relatives to talk to. Thank you so much for sharing your experience with Holly!

As for the group, I'm happy with WhatsApp (don't really care about it being anonymous anymore, we've known each other for so long now!). Also happy to take the plunge and join Facebook if that's what everyone else wants to do! During these coronavirus times its especially great to have mum friends online, who would have known!

It's thrush! GP just confirmed. Hoping I can somehow find someone to pick up three prescriptions for it, one thing after the other but at least it doesn't seem to be too serious!

Pleased you got a diagnosis @sadtoday21 - I hope you get the prescriptions and that Rumi starts to feel better xx

Thanks @Amanda81! Hope tonight is better than last night!

So I tried signing up for fb as I also wanted to keep up with some ladies from the penguin huddle...but it really freaked me out that somehow fb seemed to have all my contacts as suggested friends just from me providing an email address to sign up! I’m sorry but I really don’t trust fb with my data and their privacy issues are unbelievable. I feel it’s really insecure so I promptly deleted the account and won’t be going back there (reminding myself why I never joined in the first place!). Do you guys mind if we find another platform instead? I really do want to keep up with the group, but fb just isn’t for me sorry!

I've set up a Facebook group. It's a closed group...if you would like to join the group email me your details so that I can find you.

My email address is [email protected]

Haha! Cross post @sadtoday21 - I'll delete the group no worries. WhatsApp is good for me.

Are others in WhatsApp? If so, I can do a similar set up on that platform, just send me details so that I can find you and invite you to the group x

Oh sorry @Amanda81 indeed a cross post there! 😂

I suppose I could always create a separate email just for Facebook. Do any of you ladies have concerns about privacy issues? It just started recommending all these “friends” to me and I have no idea how it connected me to all these people just from an email address - very odd! I hate the idea of big companies gathering all this data and then selling it or using it without my consent.

I’m happy to PM you my number for the WhatsApp group if others want to join - what do the rest of you ladies think? Would love to share parenting tips as we go through this new phase ❤️

I’m happy for What’s App or Facebook. Facebook can be set to private and you can control who sees post. It’s seems pretty secure these days. I’m happy for either. Xx

Hello ladies!

@sadtoday21 Oh no thrush!!! Hope it all clears up ASAP and baby Rumi is back to his normal self 💓

@Amanda81 @Catconfusion @sadtoday21 I can do Facebook or what app. Not bothered which one is preferred 🤷‍♀️

@Catconfusion 3 days to go!!!! How are you feeling? Any nerves?

Also ladies I have a 38 week midwife app tomorrow. Any idea what the midwife will go through? So close to the due date so I’m unsure if she’ll check cervix or not. Literally feels like nothing is happening over here so completely convinced I’ll go over! 38 weeks today 👶🏻

Shall we go for WhatsApp? Seems like everyone uses this platform. Send me details so that I can find you and set up the group.

I have no idea what they would do at 38 weeks @Kiki061190 - but I suspect they would check position, BP, urine. Not sure they would check cervix as this might start things happening when i think they prefer to wait until 39 weeks before making any encouragement. You are so very close now!! Xx

Hi ladies, I’m happy to do FB or WhatsApp. I have a picture of my appointment schedule @Kiki061190 in my area at 38 weeks it’s just the usual BP, urine, uterus feel and foetal heart rate etc. no cervix feel.

Oooh thank you @bananamonkey that’s helpful! I thought I would maybe get a sweep if I haven’t had baby by 40 weeks. Hoping she comes on her own before then although nothing pointing towards that at the moment. How have you been feeling?

@Amanda81 I’ll message you! Is it the mobile number you need for WhatsApp?

@Amanda81 I’ll pm you my number.

So I just had a really frightening visit to hospital for my preop. I got in the lift and two nhs staff got in, no masks and right behind me. Chattering away within a metre when the lift was massive and they could have kept there distance. Then I had to go get blood drawn. The phlebotomist has no mask and was running on about how we’ve only very few cases in the area. Only 8 have died etc. She got uncomfortably close. I know for a fact the numbers with it are growing The antenatal clinic were brilliant and all were masked up, keeping distance. I mentioned baby had been quiet all day and I was a little concerned so they sent me monitoring. That’s when it became apparent there’s a suspected case on the delivery suite and a confirmed case on the maternity ward. The ward I’ll be on for my op doesn’t have any cases but it was scary seeing the big signs outside each ward with their Covid status on them. Luckily baby is fine and although movements were very slow during monitoring, he parked up once the monitors were off. I’m to go back tomorrow if he’s slow again. I just came home feeling unclean and shoved all my clothes in the wash. I just can’t wait to get baby here and get home, hopefully without contracting this horrible virus! Xx