Due May 2020 (Thread 4)

[fluffyunicorns86]

@Mrshouse92 I cant wait to get to the half way point.

Sorry been quiet been really busy. Had gender scan today and got stitch thursday

Hope everyone is doing ok alot of scans j have seen glad to see so many

So much variety in terms of leave policies! I work at a large financial firm and get 26 fully paid weeks which is basically 6 months. My partner works in the same place and gets 4 weeks of paternity leave, but we are planning on sharing my leave - we will probably take 1 month together once he has taken paternity leave, then I'll continue untill baby is 6 months, then he will take a few months. It's really important for us to have some time when he is fully responsible for the baby so he can feel equally involved.
My work has allowed me to roll over all of my holiday into 2021 so I am going to try and take as little as I can this year so I have loads in 2021 after mat leave 😀
9 months paternity leave sounds amazing, I hope more places start doing it - it will really take the pressure off women to be the one to stay at home and will help towards equality in the workplace ultimately.

@facevalue - no family here, we live overseas, so its just us. Fortunately, DH also works from home, so although he needs to work also, he will be around every day to take over if needed, and his hours are flexible.

After my last I only work 4 days a week and mostly home based so the one advantage to my crap leave is I plan to pretty much work up until the contractions start!

@mintbear i'm the same as you. this is our second so i'm planning to keep my DD at nursery during the mat leave hence it will be VERY tight financially or i might considering dropping one day when i get to the 9months to drop the cost. we don't know yet. with my first i took 14 months off and it was perfect but it's complicated now as we are also having things done to the house so need to limit spending to accommodate for it... i had a C sec with my first too if it's your first i would definitely recommend your husband be on leave for the first 6-8 weeks ( my husband was off with me) it was so so important - he was fantastic / changing nappies/ cuddling baby/ sorting shopping etc we had a cleaner and we have one now too only once a week. i think we need to put some numbers on paper soon just so we don't suddenly face the music. i'm getting anxious about it now. looking after 2 children will be tough as no family to help us at all.

@Caspianberg the word overseas makes me think cheaper childcare so definitely get a full time nanny - so worth it.

have you all joined NCT? or similar to make friends with ppl who will be off at the same time for walks and coffees lol 😂 i make it sound like pleasure when I KNOW it was bloody suffering 😩🥴 with joy.

@facevalue - haha no, think Switzerland type area and prices, unfortunately. Nannies are actually very rare here, as all employees get a 3 year guaranteed return to work, so there's very little childcare available for under 3 years.
I'm sure it will be fine, worse case Dh will just take over my side of the business, and will stop his work a few more weeks (but he earns more so not ideal, hey ho)

@facevalue, yes it shouldn’t be legal but employers don’t have to offer you anything more than statutory sadly! I’ve been here over 6.5 years - it just sucks! I am really quite worried about how we are going to survive on just my husbands salary and measly statutory. I guess we’ve just become accustomed to a certain standard of living and that’s going to have to change drastically!

I'm also self employed and work from home (but quite flexibly) so going to see how long I can go, though perhaps might stop accepting work from the beginning of May (due 6th so far), then I'm thinking I'll take the summer off and get back into things from September. Husband works from home quite often too so that should help as well.

Whenever I think about having the baby I think "next year", then have to remind myself that it's this year!

@facevalue I joined NCT even though it’s baby number 2. Just such a good way to meet people

@sunshine8888 i know! i should be ashamed of myself and cut all silly expenses 🙄 moaning about this when so many are suffering poverty makes it feel really pathetic. bloody Christmas and birthdays- my in laws are awful for this ( they expect all these things that we shouldn't be spending on at this stage but we feel we have to please them🙄).

@Caspianberg haha at least you have access to the best chocolates to see you through 😂😂👍🏼

@GinUnicorn me too! and it's also my second by i need to socialise while my brain is off work or ill go mental/ depressed with just changing nappies and crying baby with sleep deprivation 😂😂😂😂 i learned the first time. Having said that my first NCT group were nice ladies just very different attitudes and with their families living locally so they didn't need as much company as i did having no family and just moved to an area very far away ( 2-3hours drive) from my close friends
fingers crossed this bunch will be more keen to make true friendships x we can only hope

Has anyone else found shops stocking spring/summer stuff yet? when do they usually start stocking? Im assuming feb onwards..

Haven't really bought anything yet clothes wise as everything local and online seems to be long sleeve vests and velour, fleecy sleepsuits. wool cardigans. I think May onwards will mainly need cotton sleepsuits, short vest and rompers,and cotton cardigans. plus cotton thinner blankets.

@caspianberg having done it once before. when you go into most shops at the baby section there are plenty of pure cotton sleepsuits. john lewis, next, h&m, white company, asda, sainsbury's even tesco. all have them. remember the baby will always need one more layer than you. vests and long sleeves sleep suits would still be appropriate until june or july depends when the summer actually starts here! my DD was born in august and even then she needed a babygrow and sleep suit. I wouldn't worry these are always in stock whatever is the weather. Also remember there are always nearly new events ( meaning mums bought stuff that they never used and are selling them) so it's not really second hand. my friend sold so many things when she thought she was having a girl but it was a boy 😳

😘👍🏼goodluck

My husband gets 6 months full pay and can take a further 6 months on SMP. His work have asked if he can not take the full 6 months however 🙄🤬 He was debating only taking 5, but for them to ask him is off. He is entitled to it. However we don't want to rock the boat, as his job is not badly paid and means I can be a SAHP.

I have joined NCT, starting end of feb!

@Caspianberg i got some stuff on the next outlet website! It is usually around feb march before the lighter clothes come out so I'm holding off until then

Lovely photo @bumpingalong how are you feeling?

I'm 20+4 today 20 week scan booked for Monday as they couldn't fit us in this week. I was feeling anxious as I haven't felt as much movement as you all seem to be having but my placenta is at the front. I went to get the heartbeat checked just for peace of mind last night and all is fine. I guess we just have a quiet one at the moment!

Mat leave wise I'm thinking of going from the 8th April (due date 18th May) as that's our 1st wedding anniversary weekend and we are going away (it's Easter too). Plus I have two weeks leave to use before the start of June so might as well add it on!

I had my flu and whopping cough jabs and was over so fast.. but my arm aches like. She also asked me what side I'm sleeping on which I thought was random and I said I always lay on my right and she said they advise to lay on left cause a lot of women feel faint from being on right. I will have to change sides of bed with oh now as he lays on right too and I don't like being face to face lol. Anyone else been advised similar?

@herewego2020, well done for having the jabs! My arm is killing from the vaccine yday!

I start on my left but always fall asleep on my right... I just can’t seem to sleep on my left side. I haven’t felt faint so hope it’s not too much of an issue. I just thought it was sleeping on our back that we had to avoid.

Re maternity leave.. I'm due 4th may and starting 6 month maternity leave april 9th day before good friday. Regarding uni I'm only taking 2 weeks off once she is born, as I'm doing my PhD most of my work is independent and I will just continue to do at home. Well this is the plan.. admin at uni said I'm crazy 😅

@Sunshine8888 so will my arm be worse tomo lol 😅 do I have that to look forward to now.

I am going to struggle staying on one side. I lay on my back too when relaxing but then I'm sure that's not advised either. I get so uncomfortable so quickly

@herewego2020, my pregnancy pillow helps to keep me on my side

Well I had my scan all went well but we have decided to find out later.

Feel free to guess though. So relieved little one is healthy and well. It feels so real now!

@ginunicorn so cute! I think boy - no scientific reason why I say this just a guess haha!

I was reasonably sure I felt fluttering movements low down and slightly to the right on the 14th, 17th, 20th & 25th December and since then nothing except what I can only describe as a strong sort of pulse in my stomach. Only 20+2 and don't have scan until next Wednesday but feeling so worried agh!