Due March 2020 - FIRST BABY in late 20's

[lonelyonee]

Hello!
Just wanted to start a new thread specifically for women who are in their late twenties & are having their first baby in March 2020! 🙂
Not trying to exclude anyone just think it will be nice to speak to women who are in the same sort of circumstances as myself. Plus the other March threads are pretty full!

Bit about me:

• due 28th March 2020
• 27 years old (DP is 24)
• was on the combination pill for 12 years
• been with DP a year and a half
• SO excited as this is both our first baby (DP's ex had a miscarriage @ 10 weeks a few years ago)
• feeling nauseous, boobs are killing, weeing loads & having cramps/pains.

Look forward to hearing your stories & sharing this experience with you! 🙂 xx

@HighOnStilts haha well you just can't plan it but I agree I'm going to trust my body and follow what it's telling me. That's going on my "birth plan". 😂 I've obsessively been watching videos and researching what to expect so I've learned a lot in a short time!
Thanks I'm now going to have to get the baby photos out to compare to me and my partner ☺️
Well the plan was always to move in gradually due to my partners work patterns and me not being able to move most things myself. Just glad we have the month to get it sorted at least enough to be able to move in whether the kitchen is done or not. It's just annoying we will be putting a lot of cleaning/decorating into it because it's so dirty.
(We didn't notice how bad it was when we viewed it as it was in the evening).
At least we have the house and I won't have to walk up and down 3 flights of stairs anymore though! 😂👏🏻

@lonelyonee
No you can't. Hence why I haven't even give a birthing plan a second thought lol. I'm sure we'll all be fine!!

What a shame the house is in a bad way for you guys! But at least you can put your touch on it, that's much more satisfying.

We've just paid for the kitchen so I really hope little one doesn't decide to come before the beginning of March as that's when we've scheduled it to be fitted. Hoping we'll have the keys and be mostly moved in by then as well!
Oh god three flights of stairs?! That would see me off! 😳🙈

@HighOnStilts yup! Although I went to a parents to be event and hypnobirthing is about training your mind to see birth as a positive event (not painful and scary) which actually makes sense tbf!
Yeah it's a bit shit but at least they're sorting the kitchen & we have until the end of the month to clean it up, decorate a little and move everything in.
Woooo! Hopefully it'll be nice and straightforward and will be done before baby arrives so you won't have to think about it. You don't want any dust or anything around a newborn which is partly why the landlord for us is getting it done ASAP.
Hahaha yeah it kills me walking up them after work or with shopping, no chance I'd get baby and pushchair up them on my own! Hence why we're moving ☺️ that & about another million reasons 😂

@lonelyonee I've looked into the whole hypnobirthing thing, seems a lot of women do it these days and end up having amazing births.

Kitchen and dining room for us is the main hub in the house so it's our priority! Also can't wait to finally unbox my new Kitchen Aid mixer and put it on display lol!

I hope you get moved in and settled soon love! Everything always comes together in the end, I often wonder why I bother getting myself stressed out over things lol! X

@HighOnStilts everyone's different and might not even work for us but it's worth a try I reckon! Main thing it's about is being calm so that you don't release adrenaline which slows down labour and worsens the pain I think? Just about trying to not associate childbirth with negative things such as pain/trauma and looking at it like an amazing event where we get to meet our babies.
Sorry for the late reply I'm useless only just saw yours after posting another thread in the litter tray.
Is it just me or does everyone on here like to claim abuse for everything? Bit miffed at some responses I've had regarding my DP & our current kitty situation 🙄 only asked for advice and support & managed to get a lecture 😂 only on bloody Mumsnet eh!

@lonelyonee
You're right! I've read so many stories about traumatic births so I'm really not helping myself at the moment 😭

Went for our 4D scan today but little one was not co-operating AT ALL. She was facing my spine, hands and feet in front of her face as well as the bunched up cord.. which looked ridiculously long.. hope that's not a bad thing? 🤔
Anyway I went for a walk/jiggled her about but she was not entertaining the camera today at all so gotta go back on Saturday, I just hope she plays ball as they don't like to scan after 32 weeks! Me and OH came out really deflated as we were so hyped about it.

Oh honestly, there are some nasty, bitter cows on here! I opened a thread about being a stay at home mum, just wanted some advice/tips on how other stay at home mums go about their days.. in the end I had to report my thread to mumsnet because I got ripped to shreads. Mumsnet deleted it within a few hours and admitted I was being 'subject to bullying'. It's really appauling on here now. X

@HighOnStilts aww no hopefully you can get her to cooperate Saturday! My fingers are crossed for you!
Yeah it's bizarre look at this response I had from someone because I said my DP was worried she'd scratch baby.

"If you think it's the rejection factor that is making him angry, then I wouldn't be too optimistic about how he will fare as a father or partner to you as a mother. The number one rule of parenting babies and little children is not to take anything personally. If he can't handle what the cat did to him and is imputing malice and bad intentions to an animal, how is he going to handle being puked on , peed on, bitten, hit, kicked, spoken rudely to, having food flung at him, tantrums, night wakings, and all the other joys of parenting?

Be careful, and be watchful. Don't dismiss any anger you see in him as an aberration when the baby comes alon^g".
^
Bit of a stretch tbh... he was pissed off she scratched him and he said some shit he didn't mean... Christ you'd think he'd flung her out the window and threatened to kill me or something 🙄

@lonelyonee that's a hurrendous reply WTF!!!!
Some people baffle me 😳 like if you've got nothing nice to say don't say anything at all.

I got told I need to bring my wedding forward because I'm having a baby out of wedlock and also that the chance of finding out my OH is fucking another woman is probably high... I told me OH and he went mad, said I shouldn't be on here anymore 😆

Ladies! I'm shocked people are saying such things to you! Haha maybe they need to look closer to home, I'm sure their partners (if they even have one) aren't as perfect as they hope! 😬😬😬

@eskimod @lonelyonee It just seems as though there are some very bitter women on here!! But I certainly wont be in a hurry to open up another thread that's for sure, I'll just enjoy browsing through others lol.

How are you girls feeling at the moment?
I'm really quite well in myself, no pains or twinges yet just a baby that loves rummaging lol. My bump also gets quite uncomfortable by the end of the day 😩 X

@HighOnStilts @eskimod it's actually mental. I was only asking for advice on how to help kitties get along because DP said he was gonna get rid of my girl if she kept being aggressive. Same cba with the people on here who are clearly crackers!!
Wthhhhh??? So you DP is gonna cheat on you because you're pregnant? It's actually like 2+2 and getting 9000 😂 where does the logic (or lack there of) come from?
They probably have been/are going through stuff like that themselves so they are projecting. Or maybe they're just sad little fucks who see the world differently to us. Who knows?!
Doing okay, had a bad day yesterday. Pretty much no sleep the night before, woke up in pain (lower back, hips & sciatica on my left side) and it continued all throughout the day at work. I said to the girls I work with if anyone does anything today to pee me off I'm gonna end up in tears. Thankfully that didn't happen and I managed to struggle through. Other than that though not much to complain about other than feeling useless that I can't move things into the house or do anything like painting or whatever as DP has said nope don't risk the fumes 😩 very frustrating!!
How you doing eskimod?

@lonelyonee @HighOnStilts
30 weeks today, baby is breech at the moment so hopefully she'll turn! All measuring fine. Got health visitor appointment on Friday and next midwife appointment next Tuesday. Can't believe where the time is going!
I'm feeling okay really, a little bit of back ache but I'm dealing with it 😊 not much else to moan about really! Just counting the days until maternity leave! 4 weeks until half term, a week off and then hoping to go back for a couple of weeks. Xx

@eskimod good to hear! I'm sure she will she has some time just yet!
Yeah all this stuff is happening now I've got my health visitor coming Friday too! The letter just says 9.30am-11.30am 🤷🏼‍♀️ work will be pleased 🙄😂
Then yeah another midwife appointment 29th, and we're hoping to be all moved in by then so busy busy for me 😂
Ahh I've planned it so that I break up 21st using my holidays as I'm already fed up of being there!

@eskimod @lonelyonee
So ladies, had my 4D scan this morning... three attempts later and a really horrid bout of hiccups we got some pics! If you want my honest opinion, I'm regretting having it done now 😩 some of the pics were so scary, looked like she had big holes in her body and head, it was unnerving to see. However she is measuring fine and they reckon she's weighing about 3lbs 11oz. Listened to heartbeat again which I think got me and my OH more teary than the scan itself.

I've got health visitor on the 22nd and midwife on the 24th.. also had a call regarding the house and we should be exchanging contracts in a couple of weeks! Completely stressing now 😱 did buy my hospital bag today though... just need to fill it 😆

@HighOnStilts oh wow look at her! I honestly wouldn't worry about that it's just the angles and the level of intensity of the scanner thingy. It is tricky to get a decent photo, ours was trying for ages. Also I think how much waters are present affects it too?
Yayyyy! Hopefully you'll be in there by the end of Feb then! We're just waiting on more info about the kitchen... hoping it's gonna get done in the next week or so, so that we don't have to be living there when it's being done. 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻 for us both!
Oh my god I know I want to sort mine out properly now because you just never know when you're going to need it from this point really!

@lonelyonee I think there was placenta and cord in the way too which didn't help things lol! But never mind. We had to go for a second scan and then it took about 3 attempts so we were in there a fair while, I was actually glad to get out. Then my poor little girl got hiccups probably due to all the bouncing up and down they made me do!

Good luck with the kitchen and house move lovely! It's so exciting isn't it but so damn stressful waiting for things to happen 🙉 I'm sure everything will come together soon!

All my baby stuff is now at my Fiancés parents as they only live 20 mins from our new house, I've only sent it across to get it out of the way because I'm starting to pack the house up.. but now I'm panicking as my hospital bag is now at the other side of the river lol let's hope I don't go into labour anytime soon 😆
I kinda feel like I'm going to be overdue, she seems way too cosy in there at the moment and I haven't had many twinges or pains yet. X

@HighOnStilts ahh yeah that's not gonna help then! Hey ho! Only 9 weeks to go now 🥰 aww poor baba!
Thanks, I'm just stressing over it because I want everything right for when he comes, and the sooner it's done the better so I get actually relax when I break up from work for a couple of weeks!
Ahhh you've been busy then! Yeah you may as well be prepared, we've almost boxed up everything we don't use daily now so it'll only really be the big furniture/essentials to move next week.
Really? That's mad cause I've got this weird feeling baby boy is gonna come early. Lucky you! He was doing something down in the left side of my groin yesterday and I was SO uncomfortable all day because of it.

@lonelyonee God I know right.... 61 days until my due date 🙉 I don't think it's properly hit me yet lol.

We're hoping to have the keys by the end of the month, although I'm slowly starting to struggle with daily chores (achy back, legs etc) and I'm just getting frustrated now as we still have a nursery to decorate... argh!!
I'm so excited for all our updates when we have our babas! Can't wait to see pics 😍

@HighOnStilts oooo yayyyy! You're basically gonna be decorating same time as me then. (Well our DPs will haha).
I know there has been a few babies in work this morning and it's made me really want him to be here already!
Been looking more into birth plans as there seems to be so many different things you can do now... delayed cord clamping, extended skin to skin, breastfeeding straight away etc...
Also been looking into making a "rules around baby" poster for visitors in his first few months. These have things like "no kissing baby" or "don't visit if you're unwell or have been in the last week" etc...
Feel like it might help to stop people from being careless & stop me from having to fully go mama bear on people... because I will 😂 especially the smoking thing. I do not want anyone touching my baby if they've just smoked at all. It's going to be a struggle to implement this with MIL though as she thinks it's stupid 🙄

Are you setting any rules or anything for when baby is here?

@lonelyonee HA that's so true!!! Poor DP's are gonna be running round after us like loons. My OH isn't letting me do much now at all.. which I love him for but I'm also finding it frustrating as I still want to pull my weight around the house especially as we might be getting the keys next week now!! 🙉

I had the health visitor round this morning and we were talking all about this!!! It actually opened my eyes to a lot of things after speaking to her too.. I had it in my head I would be swaddling baby when shes in her crib sleeping and she was like BIG NO NO. So now I have to go spend upwards of £10 on a fricking 'cellular' blanket as that's what they recommend using. It's fair enough but god there is so much they 'dont recommend' doing.

I'm so with you on the whole visitors situation too.. saw a story on fb last night about a baby that died due to been kissed with someone who had a cold sore.. it's frightened me!
I'm not looking forward to the amount of home visits we get after baby either, from the midwives etc. I know it's to keep up to date with babies wellbeing but jesus christ she said we'll have about 4 or 5 visits in the first week.. and that's not including family who will want to come round as well. My OH said he will put his foot down with visiting times though and I know he will cause he'll get really protective over me and baby especially.

I take all the advice on board but I also hate being told what to do. Me and OH just want to figure it all out on our own and go with the flow rather than stressing ourselves out over it. X

@HighOnStilts ahh I dunno about that, I still had to make dinner when I got home from work last night 🙄 although he won't let me even attempt to do any decorating or moving stuff, and he went mad when I moved a couple of boxes 😂
So exciting!!!
Oh god I'm dreading mine, I've called them to rearrange but apparently they have to get the health visitor to call me back... nothing yet and the original appointment is tomorrow! No one will be there if they just turn up! More stress!
Hmmm I'm sure I've seen you can but you have to have their arms free? I'd probably take what they say with a pinch of salt as from what I've heard they are a bit ott and sometimes questionable on their advice!
I've had two cellular blankets given to me already, so maybe wait until gifts are given as people like to buy blankets 😂

Yep! And I'm seeing loads of posts of babies COVERED in horrible rashes and the like after being kissed by someone. It's not happening! Oh god really? 🙄 well I can't say I'm looking forward to that either! Maybe we should just not tell anyone until baby is a week old they've been born?! 😂
That's it, just wanna find what's best for us as every baby is different! I hate the patronising advice too... like do one! You won't be there in the middle of the night feeding MY baby so 🖕🏻😂

@lonelyonee ohhhh wouldn't be having that lol!! But bless at least he's not letting you move stuff 😉
Wouldn't mind the health visitor letter said that she would be with us between 10am-12pm I was like great so I have to make sure I'm in for those two hours when I might have been busy!! She turned up at dead on 10am though so was glad of that.

So you can swaddle just not for long periods and probably best to make sure you're awake whilst their swaddled so we're able to keep an eye on them. My baby shower is 1st of Feb so I'll see what I get bought for me then 😆

Haha oh I'd love to not tell anyone we've had baby haha! I've had people asking me if I've had baby already I'm like ffs I've still got two months left!!!!

It all just gets tedious doesn't it! I'm slowly closing myself off from people and just concentrating on me and the OH until baby arrives. We have so much to do between now and when baby is born I just don't have time for anyone else 🙈
I had an absolutely ridiculously vivid dream I was having contractions last night in bed, the pain felt so real!! Was safe to say I was soooo relieved when I woke up and it was just baby fumbling about 😆

@HighOnStilts yep, which is frustrating but hey ho!
Ahh right my letter said between 9.30-11.30am but to be honest that's crap for us as I'll be at work and OH will be asleep as he works evenings. If she does turn up tomorrow and wakes him up he won't be best pleased! I phoned them and told them I needed to rearrange due to moving 🤷🏼‍♀️ even gave them the new address but still no phone call like I was supposed to have. Forgot to give them another call today to make sure they passed the message on (oops!)
Ahh right, I still feel like I need to learn so much. I've joined so many mommy/pregnancy pages/groups on Facebook and tbf they're really informative so I'm soaking up the info like a sponge!
I won't be able to hold off not telling anyone but I will make it clear only to visit when I say so, and definitely not just anyone can come round my house! Tell me about it everything's going to be upside down the next few weeks cause of moving so I'm hoping that means it'll go fast! 🤞🏻 work is boring and I'm struggling to stay awake now 😴
Oh my god the vivid dreams! They're insane aren't they?! God I've had all sorts of mad ones throughout this pregnancy, some that defo get your heart racing a bit and panicky when you wake up 😂
The shit we have to go through eh!

@lonelyonee well I hope you manage to get one of the health visitors round anyway, you get your red book from them (your childs health record) which is really important and then some other bumph from them. Sick of being asked if I'm okay mentally/am I suffering from depression? I know they have to ask these sort of questions but I wanna just say 'I'm bloody pregant!!! Everyday I wake up feeling different lol!!' Some days I'm great, other days I'm in pain and crying whilst watching everybody loves raymond 😆

We'll be in the same boat then hun haha!! We've told the solicitor we want to complete on either Monday or Tuesday as my OH is off work and we've gotta make a 60 mile round trip just to the solicitors and back. Hoping they agree as it means we can start getting the kitchen fitted and decorate.. I'm getting so stressed now, plus I sent my hospital bag over to my MIL with my other baby bits (she lives 15 mins from the new house) but now I'm panicking incase I go into labour early... lol!!! God I could really do with a strong drink right now 😆 I've pre warned people I'm having a glass of prosecco on my baby shower! X

@HighOnStilts yeah I'm not against seeing one at all I just can't just drop everything for them! Although work is seriously pushing my buttons atm, the place is toxic and I can't wait to be off!
Oh yeah I had my midwife asking if my partner is abusive 🙄😂 I was like no he's just an idiot sometimes like all men. (He'd pissed me off that day).
Oh god hopefully you can do it that day then, that's not a quick trip at all! 🤞🏻
Don't worry, you'll hopefully go into labour when baby is good and ready. I'm planning on doing mine properly once we're all moved in and settled.
Oh tell me about it! You enjoy that glass! I feel like I could do with a bucket full some days to be honest! 😂