September 2019 #10.

[Karigan195]

New thread so we can leave #9 as a type of condolence book for little Roy and Twittlebee. Sleep in peace little man

I haven’t really looked into baby groups in my area yet, I’m going to start by seeing how I manage getting out and about with baby and dogs.

Fingers crossed it was just a one-off, decaf, and you don’t see any more. Congrats on making 33 weeks!

I’ve just started looking at slings, pretty sure I want either a Moby or Boba wrap rather than a close caboo because apparently they’re more comfortable. Just a bit worried this is a silly decision for a first-timer and in fact I should get a caboo as less faff.

I did Baby Sensory and then Jo Jingles when she was a bit older - swimming was the weekend so DH had something he could be involved in. Each to their own really, I loved both.

I met lots of lovely people but no long term local friends which I always regretted. I'd kind of assumed NCT would take care of that so feel a little like I missed out because I focused all my time on the NCT group who were mean! I'm hoping it will be better this time, there are a few groups near me that seem to create really close groups of Mums and my Mum exercise classes are mostly 2nd/3rd timers. I found it very lonely in the last 6 months with DD.

@Fortheloveofscience not silly! But definitely worth trying them first at a sling library- I was sure I wanted an ergo but actually found it quite uncomfortable. We love the connecta, but others don't- it needs to fit your body (and your DPs potentially).

My NCT group was brilliant, there are 5 families and we are definitely friends for life, we still see each other weekly in different combinations 6 years down the line. We all work part time and all keep the same day as a non working day so we can meet up. Although my current bump is the last of the lot, and a year younger than the next one along (we all had our 2nds within about 18 months of each other, but only two of us have gone on to thirds...) so I think I'm going to have to come up with some more mum friends/peers for this baby as our seconds go off to school and fewer of us are around on any weekdays...

@DustyDoorframes no hope of any nice walks I can barely make it down the street to the shop and back just now, spd is in full swing. It will be nice to have some peace though, I hate them being away but the quiet will be nice and we've family visiting the week after so a few days to myself before we are overrun should probably be appreciated!

@IVEgottheDECAF I had the same last week, I didn't bother phoning in this time because I knew it would just be my cervix and dtd is such a rare occurrence now it's not really an issue. Probably doesn't help my mood either though.

I went to a naice toddler group with older two, lots of middle class aga mums who made nice coffee and made a competition of who could make best snack and bakes every week. Was actually really good and everyone took their turn without a carry on. That was it really though, couldn't go swimming because such a small gap. Living somewhere different now so will do the baby music class and toddlers eventually and looking forward to taking her swimming. There's a bf group too so might try and get along to that next week when older two are away as I miss the nhs talk thing this week as I've no one to watch them.

How old are everyones older dc?

Mine break up school tomorrow and HOPEFULLY i will not be pregnant when they return!

@ivegothedecaf have you got lots of plans to keep them occupied? Or will they occupy each other?

DD is 3.5 and not at school, plus she's still going to nursery for 3 days when I'm off on mat leave. The schools here broke up a few weeks ago and it's been great. My commute went from 45 mins to 15!

@easterbuns1 hope you have a relaxing break. Read all the books and watch all the boxsets !

I have zero plans. My spd is not great but we have a good park nearby so can do plenty of park time. Probably have to sort some play dates at some point too. I am just looking forward to no school run!

I did Sing and sign classes with DS which I really enjoyed, he still signs alot now at 2.5 and he picks new ones up so easily. I'll defo take the twins to that as it's just so helpful to communicate when they can't talk yet.
My area did run alot of free baby classes in children's centres but have since cut lots back to just 1 class a week for under5s. I dont like going to those as having 4.5 year olds running around a newborn in a cramped room isn't ideal. But we do still go to my local church group which is where I met a few mum friends. There's a twin group where I live too, so I'll be checking that out if/when we can make it out the house!
My area doesn't do NHS antenatal classes and I missed out on booking NCT last time. Haven't bothered to book anything apart from a tandem breastfeeding course through TAMBA.

Mine are 8 and 9, they have been off nearly two weeks now and will go back to school a week or two before baby arrives. Feel guilty I'm in no state to take them away or do much with them but hopefully we will get lots of playing out days and beach days where I can just sit on my arse and not have to walk! They think we've been waiting long enough for the baby and she should come now, which I partly agree with but have explained she needs to be fully cooked first.

It is a really long time for DC to wait isnt it! Ours are 2, 6, 10 and 11. We didnt tell them til nearly 5 months in and they still think its been AGES.

@easterbuns2 Waiting for a baby is so abstract for kids, I'm not surprised they are bored of it!

DD asked me yesterday if we could pretend I wasn't growing a baby. Well, yes, I'd love an hour of pretending!

Really struggling with the office stairs today. They are all at different heights. Obviously the toilet is upstairs and I sit in the basement....

Loneliness has played on my mind a bit too @Stroan I've always thought I'm quite independent but actually I don't do great on my own for more than a couple of days at a time - thinking back to when we were first married (and beyond poor!) I had a few lots of single weeks off work at a time where DH wasn't off so I was just sort of pottering about on my own and I didn't do very well at it. DH works long hours too so I don't think that helps. So maternity leave as a concept used to scare me, but I think now the reality is nearly here I'll be ok... I think!!

This is why a c section worries me. I’m not the most sociable person anyway and have a small group of good friends who are all ridiculously busy. If left alone I’m perfectly happy so long as I can get out, have a beach walk or pop into snowdonia but if I’m house bound and alone I think I will not be able to cope.

I've got DH at home for a month, so no loneliness fears if I have a section, as I'd be on my own very little. Quite a few of my friends were allowed to drive again at 4 weeks rather than 6 too - so it isn't always a long recovery. My equine chiro was back mucking out after 3 weeks post ELCS - although she is quite hardcore!

I am very happy with my own company as a rule and can easily spend 2 weeks at home by myself and not be bored! But as I said up thread - I have to do the horse every day and I have a lovely group of friends there so I always get daily conversation from them and some of them have young children.
My closest friends aren't local but will be there to support at a distance. I'm just not very good at organised "fun" but will do some taster sessions at some of the groups and see what, if any, suit.

At MW on Monday they said that they thought baby had started to come down into pelvis - woke up today at 32 weeks exactly and bloody hell - she most definitely has! Feels very different, and she is so active now! I had really infrequent movement up until now but now she doesn't stop moving. Had some weird sensations which I think are arms near my cervix - very odd although not painful yet.

I know she still has lower to go and it's not quite a feeling of pressure yet but it's most definitely different to how it was before.

Yep @Karigan195 me too, biggest fear. Although someone I know recently said they were driving after 4 weeks so that was mildly reassuring, 1 week with DH, 1 week my DM will have off with me then hopefully just 2 to occupy myself worst case.

I drove 140 miles and back in one day with a toddler and new baby to visit my sisters new baby three weeks post section. We are semi rural now as opposed to back end of nowhere like I used to be and pretty much everyone is straight in the car afterwards. I was told as long as I felt fine in myself and could do emergency stop there was no issue. I think the advice and insurance stance does very depending on who you talk to though! I couldn't drive due to my spd by the end of last pregnancy so was chomping at the bit to actually get out again!

Dp will have a day or two at most off. Then ill be flying solo with a newborn and 4 older dc!

@ivegotthedecaf superMama!

DH is having 6 weeks off (paternity leave and annual leave). He went back early after DD was born and hated it. But at least I won't have the driving worries and he'll be there for fun stuff while DD gets used to the change.

@kyles101 I like the idea of time to myself much more than the reality! And with DD, being alone with my thoughts and worries wasn't really good for me. I had to have a reason to leave the house each day or I started to feel really panicky. I'm hoping I can be a bit more chilled about it this time, but it's also nice knowing you have some plans that involve friendly faces! (that said, a bit of slobbing on the sofa enjoying newborn cuddles is just the BEST!)

We don't have family nearby so there's not too many people I can easily visit for company.

@IVEgottheDECAF mine is taking 2 weeks holidays (can't afford the drop to paternity pay) and even at that I'm thinking he will be under my feet 🙈 I think sometimes it's better just to get into your own routine. But then it's maybe easier for me to say that with two older dc who are old enough to see to themselves compared to your four!

@Decaf my other DS is 7 and will be back at school before my EDD. I'll be working as usual over summer bar a week of A/L so it's a mix of holiday clubs and grandparents for him over the break.

I'm worried about PND again this time. I made some very good friends last time who helped me through some really dark times. One became my best friend but circumstances mean we are no longer in touch - I miss her terribly and know not having her there for me will be really tough. I don't have any other friends with young children and think I'll be the oldest by far at any baby groups.

Had my 31w midwife apt today. Baby is breech but plenty of time for him to move.

I was driving 3 weeks post section with dd. But.... I had a very good recovery, no infections etc.

A bit TMI but is anyone else finding sex logistically challenging 😆 I find it uncomfortable on my back for too long, I can't seem to get on top any more...

I don't remember any issues last time, but it's certainly getting harder to find a comfy way to do it! 😂 luckily it's not a regular occurrence these days!

That's a shame you are no longer in touch @DennisSkinnersMolotov but you do have all of us if you need someone to talk to. Plus, we'll all be up doing night feeds, so we'll have our own 24h chat going on! Available any time you need us!

Thank you @Florencenotflo

And the sex thing.. we're managing ok at the moment but when my hips were sore the other day we did resort to shagging on the top stair of the landing as the hard surface helped
Doggy seems to be best for us both now, I'm scared of squashing him on top, he says I'm not but my body confidence isn't too high at the moment

@florencenotflo no logistical challenge here because it's definitely NOT happening!

I actually think my pelvis would snap in two.

But serious kudos to you for even bothering!