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Connect with mums-to-be with similar due dates to share experiences and support.

Original poster

September 2019 #10.

989 replies

Karigan195 · 04/07/2019 19:25

New thread so we can leave #9 as a type of condolence book for little Roy and Twittlebee. Sleep in peace little man

OP posts:
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12
Stroan · 13/07/2019 15:20

According to Maternity Action, the employer can't trigger your mat leave until 4 weeks before your expected week of delivery.

maternityaction.org.uk/advice/sickness-during-pregnancy-and-maternity-leave/

Hsunshine · 13/07/2019 16:09

I’m fairly sure you have to be 36 weeks before they can start mat leave if you’re off sick. It’s usually 4 weeks from your EED EWC

coffeeandgin26 · 13/07/2019 16:33

Ahhh. No idea where I got 29 weeks from then!

DustyDoorframes · 13/07/2019 16:46

You can choose to start from 29 if you want to!

Whisky2014 · 13/07/2019 16:51

Ok thanks. But I don't want to go off sick, I just want them to be understanding and realise they are asking too much! :(
I think it will look bad if i went off now and also I do want to give my colleague a good handover and have all my projects in a good state. Humph

Stroan · 13/07/2019 17:04

Yeah @whisky2014 could you try reasoning with your boss and explaining that taking on extra work doesn't make sense when the priority needs to be a good handover? Almost like laying the seed and letting her realise for herself the risk of you going off early for any reason?

Whisky2014 · 13/07/2019 17:20

Yeh ill give it another go I guess

kyles101 · 13/07/2019 18:21

@Whisky2014 How about trying to explain that you're worried that taking on an extra presentation will mean they both suffer? Offer to help a colleague prep as much as you can?

Well done for keeping everything in check @coffeeandgin26

I know the feeling re lunch breaks @Megan2018 I've barely had one this week, literally eaten and back to it. How about carrot sticks or a sliced apple with your cheese and hummus?

DustyDoorframes · 13/07/2019 18:36

@Whisky2014 taking on two presentations on your last day is frankly irresponsible. With mat leave there is a decent chance of it needing to be brought forward. Your boss is a loon for not thinking of that. You shouldn't be solely responsible for ANYTHING in your last few weeks, let alone anything critical. You can definitely make a business case for someone else doing the presentations- even if it's with your support prepping. Loads of people end up going early for one reason or another!!!

Whisky2014 · 13/07/2019 19:07

She did try to thinking others who could take my place but she said a lot of people will be on holiday. I'm like so is there even going to be anyone to present to?!
Also, these things are not part of our role really, they've been out in place as a kind of learning session but are totally not required and definitely not essential when I'm about to be off for 13 months...imo these should be thing first things to be postponed if "normal" work is going to suffer..

Argh. One is 2 hours long and there's a few of us that are paired up and we need to do it in sections. So I said it's not even the presentation time (2 hours for 1 and 1 hour for the 2nd) but it's all the research time that goes into it, discussion about how we will run it. Fuck sake I don't have time for it!

Sorry for the rant I'm just wound up about it again. To me it's a bad manager when you flag an issue and nothing is resolved.
:(

Stroan · 13/07/2019 19:27

Definitely a bad manager.

Would you feel comfortable going above her head to the other manager who sounds a lot more reasonable?

kyles101 · 13/07/2019 19:35

I think I'd ask what the contingency plan is if you have to go on leave early. Should at least plant a seed, maybe someone will then be asked to help / shadow you?

Whisky2014 · 13/07/2019 19:51

Yes, I think I am going to speak to her manager again. I do feel she is approachable so hopefully she will see sense! But if she does make the call to take me off, my manager will not be happy with me going above her!

BBell2 · 13/07/2019 20:26

@Whisky2014 your boss has their head well stuck in the sand! I'm sure you will boss it and anyone watching will know it's your last day, I'd be shocked for a colleguw

I move teams Aug1st, my new manager emails non stop, has done for 6month despite not progressing my move. I try discussing maternity cover in both roles and it falls of deaf ears, like September is forever away! I will literally have a new team for 25 working days and half of those im booked to work from home, several growth scans and MW appts. It's a joke! I had a three month handover last time with a colleague with very similar experience.
Role on September, I will be blocking all contact, which I didnt do last time.

McShakey · 13/07/2019 20:54

Whiskey2014 I hope they find a way to alleviate your workload.

I got myself a Chinese tonight instead of cooking like I’m meant toBlush

kyles101 · 13/07/2019 21:27

@BBell2 how did you manage the contact from work last time? Was it email and telephone? How did you find it?

Hsunshine · 13/07/2019 21:44

Is anyone else finding it harder to feel baby move? I thought with them getting bigger and bigger it should be easier but there’s less substantial moves this week. Idk if I’m feeling the baby enough or if I’m just getting more and more paranoid
I already went in tues for a different thing but I feel like since then it seems less but I don’t want to keep bothering them

easterbuns1 · 13/07/2019 21:50

@Hsunshine definitely get checked out if there's a reduction, it might be nothing but it's always better to go in and get monitored, they would always rather have people in than them be worrying.

Florencenotflo · 13/07/2019 21:50

@Hsunshine no if anything the movements are quite forceful (and sometimes painful!). If something doesn't feel right, phone your mw or triage. They honestly would rather see you twice a week than miss something.

Stroan · 13/07/2019 21:54

@hsunshine please go and get checked out. They'd rather see you twenty times and everything be ok.

There is a bit of a myth that babies move less towards the end. The Tommy's website says that from 32 weeks the movements should stay the same until birth.

Original poster
Karigan195 · 13/07/2019 21:54

@Hsunshine have an ice cold drink and a lie down. If baby doesn’t start bouncing then I think I would call in.

Just had the same worry myself as he’s been quiet all day but I did the above and he’s now bouncing like tigger in there

OP posts:
Hsunshine · 13/07/2019 21:58

I’m going to call them now, I’ve been worrying about it for a few days and I guess if I’m stressed out it can’t be good for baby either

Whisky2014 · 13/07/2019 22:25

@hsunshine try not to worry.

Try the cold drink trick.

My baby is moving around loads, 33 weeks here and I can see him wriggling around, my tummy gets pushed around Envy blegh

McShakey · 13/07/2019 22:28

Hsunshine definitely don’t feel bad about calling. But try a glass of cold water and see if that helps baby move

Hsunshine · 13/07/2019 22:36

I am going in now
I always feel so bad because they ask if baby has moved today and I’m just used to feeling him move all the time so I feel like I’m wasting their time when I say yes