September babies thread #6 - half way!

[easterbuns1]

New thread!

The threads move so fast! Got my 20 week scan at 20+6 on Friday. Am now off work until 14th May (combination of bank holidays, annual leave and study leave and I only work 3 days a week) whe. I have a huge expensive exam which I am terrified of failing. Today is first day of revision as just had birthday party for 2 year old and this is his first nursery day since Easter and all I have accomplished is an Easter egg for breakfast... which I’m feeling extra guilty about as I have increased in size massively seemingly just over Easter, ankles are huge and I went to Asda 6am on sat and it’s just self service checkouts until 7 but a lady looked at my bump and opened a till! I was too embarrassed to let her know I’m only halfway!
Last time I didn’t have a birth plan and ended with section anyway as breech. This time they have said I can try for vbac but need constant monitoring from 4cm. Having never been in labour I’m not sure how you know when to go in!

A birth plan shouldn't be about trying to define what will or won't definitely happen, obviously events take their turn. But it is a brilliant way to think through various scenarios, set out general preferences etc- which allows the people caring for you to know how best to help YOU when you are in no position to have a thoughtful chat. @Megan2018 's one will say GIVE ME THE DRUGS! I'm guessing... in mine we specified things like if for some reason I couldn't have skin to skin then DP should (and that is in fact what happened while I was being stitched up- and he and DC1 started out with a fab bond from day1). A good MW should be gently talking through it all with you. Are you someone who feels on edge in hospitals? Likes back massages? Wants the experts there? Hates a crowd? If you and the baby both needed care in different places, who should DP go with? (Yeah birth plan is maybe not the best name for it I guess!)

(Cross posted with everyone- to those having crummy starts to the day!)

I have my final piece of work for uni (this year) due 30/5 and i have barely even touched the books! Need to find my finger and pull it out!

@dustydoorframes you've put that so well! It's not prescriptive but just to give people an idea of your preferences at a time when you might not be able to express them.

Thank you @Stroan. Will try not to worry unnecessarily. Also I hope I didn’t cause offence with my stupid comment re GD. I definitely didn’t mean the eating crap = GD connection to be connected with anyone else other than me but that’s my inner mean voice talking to me, definitely not to anyone else. I just have massive anxiety that I have been blessed with this miracle and am going to f*ck it up somehow. Wishing everyone a great day and hope those of you whose days got off to a crappy start go on to have brilliant ones. Also hate it when people ask when you’re due and then look you up and down and make some comment. Makes my blood boil! I had some less than helpful comments from DP’s family at the weekend and really struggled to hold my tongue!

My birth plan so far is as follows:

All the drugs inc epidural
Skin to skin asap. If not with me, then with DH. But need to ask him as he will prob want her cleaned up first - he is squeamish. I'm ok with as she comes.
Breastfeeding is my default if possible
DH only in with me, no other partners. Only people that know what they are doing.
If needed DH to go with baby (although need to talk to him about that bit).
Yes to Vit K injection
Yes to the managed delivery of placenta
Strong preference for CS instead of induction or instruments.

I am sure it might change later once we are further along. I'm only addressing the most obvious things in it though - the rest is wait and see.

I'd also like to add no patronising bullshit, whale music or being touched by anyone other than DH but not sure that'll strike the right note.

@firstbabybean don't worry, I'm not offended. It took a long time for me to believe I hadn't caused any harm to DD. There's a lot of misinformation about GD.

Don’t panic re eating; I’ve had to stage a carb intervention. Ended up eating an entire block of Stilton last night. Just couldn’t resist any more 😩

Comments about size of bump are coming tick and fast over here too doesn't help that a family member is pregnant too, abit further gone and not showing so much. I panicked for a while that I was eating too much and it was just fat rather than bump but the scales say differently and my midwife isn't concerned. Some people just show much sooner (repeating to myself every time my bump size is mentioned) I guess

I’m writing no birth plan. Students welcome; it’s karma; I’ve been one. I’ve been asked to perform an epidural by fairlylight previously.

I'm actually shocked at how my bump has completely gone now (clearly it was all bloat before, probably my IBD & pregnancy hormones!). Literally just showed my colleagues an image of me at the same stage during my pregnancy with DS and they can't believe it. I am 100% not showing and its making me worried tbh. I know my posture and core is better this time round but keep thinking maybe he actually isnt growing well in there or hasnt enough fluid or something! 8 days till my scan.

As for birth plan, not writing anything down. DH knows my wishes though, e.g. no students (bad experience last time), no examinations (had a forced sweep last time and I am still recovering from that), no opiate pain relief (it makes me sick), tens machine and water to be my main pain relief and to avoid epidural and catheters (as bad experience last time).

How do you know what kind of things to cover in your birth plan?
At some point does the midwife actually tell you everything or do you just learn from google and antenatal classes and anything you miss is too bad?

Baby moves more when I eat chocolate or sweets or doughnuts so I just assume he likes those too, I’m sure he doesn’t mind...

People give you strange ‘compliments’ when you’re pregnant

There is a template for NHS birth plans www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/documents/birth-plan-blank-form-nhs-choices-pregnancy-baby.pdf

But I think MW is meant to go through all the options - I was just nosy and googled it!

@hsunshine cobbled together from the NHS templates, things friends told me and antenatal classes. I found that I kept being told what would be done TO me and I wasn't to keen on someone else making the decisions so mine was really important to me.

Pregnancy seems to give people a free pass to say what they want. I stopped going out when I was pregnant with DD as so many people would stop me to comment on how huge I was. I'm a bit sensitive about it and not enjoying the re-run this time. Stupid body making huge babies.

Hsunshine MW didnt go through it with me but it was covered in the free antenatal classes provided by the NHS. Strangely it seems like MWs here want to do anything but talk about labour...

Strangest things I have experienced whilst pregnant was

1. A gypsy fortune teller randomly giving me a reading whilst I was queuing in Sainsbury's... he said that DS was going to be a boy, I'll then have a late MC followed by a girl. Well he was right about DS but he missed out on my early MCs unless I am going to late MC this one... anyway, i am now expecting a boy and he didnt mention that.
2. A chinese woman loved my bump so much she wanted photos, she also told me my waters would break in a couple days before I go into early labour... she was right!

@twittlebee same here! Are community midwives so detached from it that they don't know how to respond?

Stroan they must be right? I reckon this is why I have yet to have a response from my MW regarding the birth debrief, then again it was only yesterday I asked I suppose.

My community midwife this time is really lovely, and persistent when she thinks I need something. The last one was totally useless. She said a few times that she didn't know what to do with me. Very reassuring!

Stroan that is awful! so relieved that your MW this time round is much better! Feels odd I wont see mine now for another 2 months!

Had 20 week scan today, all clear, measurements bang on. He did mention I'm on the "red pathway" - sounds great. :/
I know it must be BMI from my notes. Seems I'm booked in for an extra scan due to it but I shall wait and find out what else is coming my way.

My midwife last time came to my house about 36 weeks ish and went through all the different options of pain relief, interventions, after birth etc. There's a page towards the back of my notes which is like a tick list of all the things for them to explain.

Same here @boodles101! Two midwives in fact, and at the appointment before they pointed me towards things I might want to read up on and think about, and they came at the weekend so DP could be there too. I have incredible MW care though. Very very lucky.

Yay scan @Lavellan !! Red path?? Charming. The language they use is sometimes so unhelpful!!

I have an appointment with the consultant this Friday to discuss birthing options. Had an ELCS last time for medical reasons, most of which haven't changed that much so am somewhat expecting the same but we'll see. Feel oddly nervous even though the midwife basically said she thinks that cos of the accident I was in previously I'm likely to get whatever I want - the problem is I don't know what I want!!