June 2019 - Part 7!

[Kescilly]

Hi ladies! Picking names, packing hospital bags - third trimester here we come!

I thought I'd start out with the stats this time and I'll post the updated name list in a bit. I've just included the data that I have, since a lot of people are missing bits (or quite possibly I've missed their posts). We come from all over, so I'll put that bit in another post later as well.

Our average age at estimated due date is 33! That should help some of us who are feeling older.

And that's not just because we're all second-timers! In fact, most of us are having our first baby this year.

Baby #1 - 31
Baby #2 - 26
Baby #3 - 9
Baby #4 - 1
Babies 1&2 together! - 1

Fifteen of us are expecting lovely little boys, nineteen of us are expecting darling little girls, and at least sixteen of us are waiting to be surprised!

The average due date is June 13th, and the most popular due date is June 24th. We don't have anyone expecting on the 15th, 23rd, 27th, or 30th as far as I can tell.

And if you happen to have a baby on my birthday (June 16th), your baby will be born on Father's Day this year!

@napssavelives I'm sure the coffee won't do any harm at this stage - a lot of the issue with caffeine is the concern that it could cause a miscarriage early on in the pregnancy I think, but even the data behind that can be confusing and contradictory. Probably not worth buying the book at this stage in your pregnancy, but Emily Oster's Expecting Better is really good for the facts behind "rules" like 200mg caffeine per day.

@Naps I think there’s about 20-26 mg caffeine in a cup of tea and not sure about a coffee as I think they vary. Sounds like you’d probably be under the 200mg limit if the coffee is 150mg or less! I’ve been mixing my teas up and having more decaf tea as not a big coffee drinker but decaf tea is vile! Decaf earl grey I’ve found to be quite nice though!

Has anyone started perineal massage? I started yesterday as 34 weeks now but it’s made me wonder how on earth baby is going to come out that way 😅

@stellarfox lol yes I started at 34 weeks though I haven't been very consistent so far. It's a bit tricky to reach round my bump but I can't quite bring myself to ask my partner to do it for me haha!

Just catching up for everyone having a crap time.
With the caffeine I've had two cups of instant most days (which is supposedly 200mg so on the limit). I started having a can of coke every now and then after my 20 week scan so I'm sure two teas and a coffee is way way below the limit. And I think the US recommendation is 300mg anyway (that's what I tell myself on a 'coke day' anyway 😂).

I'm looking forward to a good, real cup of coffee though (I know I could have one a day now but I do 'need' two hence the switch to instant). And a proper goats' cheese salad. Oh and an ice cold beer...that's a strange post-partum meal isn't it 😂

Oh I know I can’t wait for a nice flat white!

@stellarfox I tried but couldn't reach and DP said he had a sore hand so couldn't do it for me, but going to try again tonight.

How are your bumps all looking? Should we be expecting them to 'drop' soon? I feel like mine is getting a bit lower but I don't feel like he's between my legs or anything yet.

Re early induction/csection. The nice guidelines I believe now say they won’t do a section before 39 weeks unless there is a specific medical need to do so. I’ve been told they won’t do my section before 39 weeks full stop unless there’s a strong medical reason to need to do it earlier. I haven’t even thought to argue for an earlier one as assumed I woukd be hitting a brick wall with it. Has anyone actually had any success or know anyone who has with getting an earlier than 39 week date? Last time I had gd and they estimated dd to be nearly 9lbs at 36 weeks and even then they refused to consider induction before my due date.

Re coffee I went to visit family on Easter Sunday and my sister was having a cup of coffee sitting a few meters away from me in the garden and the smell was so strong it was making me feel sick (although I’m still struggling with nausea on a daily basis anyway, but the smell that I usually love was just so stomach churning).

Fee I don’t think my bump has dropped yet but I had a dream last night that it dropped and was so low it was practically at my knees 😂. Have got me on Thursday and wondering if she’ll measure me or check baby position from feel for first time as haven’t had this yet. Anyone else had s at a mw apt yet?

I don't like coffee/coke and have been 'off' tea since being pregnant so my caffeine level is pretty much nil; although not through choice!

@Reastie mine checked the position at my 34 week appointment and she was breech so they've said they'll need to check at 36 weeks then book me in to get her turned if necessary...

I started perineal massage last week and my god it stings! Is anyone else getting that?!

I've been measured at 28 and 31 and both times baby was very obligingly head down feet up (always one in my ribs...) and got a gold star from midwife but s/he seems to spend more time with their backside wedged into my stomach hence my indigestion. My brother and I were both back to back labours and I'm really hoping this one isn't going to carry on the family tradition...
My bump is still high but I'm a couple of weeks between a lot of you, if I've a foot in my ribs I have less indigestion but more bladder pressure so I can roughly work out what's where now 🙂

Behind not between 🙈

My bump is still high and this little girl loves to push her limbs and feet out - it’s been really easy to “grab” her when she’s pushing out just under my ribs. None of the others were like this one; we suspect she will be long.

Re caffeine: I have one espresso a day first thing. Never giving that up.

Re sugar and GD: shitting a brick about next appointment as DH has just been diagnosed with pre-diabetes and me and him can really put the choc away when we feel like it. We have to have a dietary overhaul anyway in light of the news but with 10 days to go until the move and no sleep might wait a bit.

I have my 34 week appointment with the midwife today although I’m 35 weeks tomorrow. I am starting to feel and look really massive, even compared to other pregnant ladies. Feeling a little low about it.

I’ve signed up to try a swimming class tonight but don’t know how active I will be! I seem to get out of breath doing just about anything these days.

Still don’t have a fully packed bag, though I’ve started. Also have a Next to Me but haven’t set it up or gotten sheets for it.

What size diapers should I be buying? They’re estimating a large baby but I know that’s not always correct.

@PaulHollywoodsSexGut I think we are on for a long baby too! They do a 30 week scan here and most of the measurements were in the 50-60 percentile range apart from her femur which was apparently well off the scale! DH was a long baby so I guess that's where she gets it.

I tried giving up coffee during the morning sickness phase...that was a mistake. I felt so, so awful! Have stuck to one cup of filter coffee each morning throughout my pregnancy - enough to keep the caffeine withdrawal at bay but still well under the 200mg a day recommendation!

Quick update from me. After another couple of hospital visits for bleeding, I've been diagnosed as having had a major antepartum haemorrhage with a couple of smaller minor follow on bleeds. Luckily I'm on the mend now after being signed off work for 2 weeks. If I have another bleed (which unfortunately is likely) I will be put under consultant care and will most likely have to have baby early - if she gets too big and puts too much pressure on the placenta, it could cause a larger abruption which wouldn't be good news. They haven't said how this would be done though...I'm assuming early induction rather than a c-section? I'll cross that bridge if I come to it!

We have been told that a recurring bleed can also cause enough irritation for your waters to break early, so to be prepared for baby to arrive any time from now. Slightly terrifying thought! Made me get my hospital bag sorted early though!

Sorry, did someone say give up coffee??!!?! No effing way would/could I do that (although begrudgingly I stopped drinking it for a wee while in the 1st trimester as I just.couldn't.) But since then I have had at least one a day, often two (occasionally three 🙄) by which I mean an early morning espresso at home followed by a cafe bought latte or flat white on my way in to work.
@LolaBlue87 glad to hear you're doing better now but that must be scary!

I'm still on holiday today and DD is at nursery (perk of working in higher education!) So DP and I went to see a house today that we thought would be a "project"..more like a total nightmare! I still smell of cat pee (and let's not talk about the allegedly terminally ill sitting tenant who's been there since 1976, I swear, you couldn't make this stuff up!) but we've been doing some other looking around and sorting stuff today. Also we had our very first ever session with a cleaner at home this morning which is EXTREMELY exciting! I'm feeling bloody massive now (32+4) and can't quite get my head around the fact I'm working for another 5 weeks, feels a bit like I'm free and clear already after this 6 day break!

@toomanyflatwhites haha - living up to your username! I really miss my decent coffee but I have been overly cautious even though I know it would probably be fine.

Honestly try the Waitrose own brand decaf (the number 1 brand?) - it’s nice and doesn’t have that sickly sweet smell some decaffs do.

In other delightful news, anyone else changing their pants twice a day? It’s getting a bit “Borneo” down there.

Also: swollen ankles.

@PaulHollywoodsSexGut I have to change a tena pad a couple of times a day, just feels more damp than usual and noticed an increase in discharge. Using the pads as a way to monitor any sign of mucous plug etc coming away too.

@lolablue87 you sound really calm about it all, well done!
I think we might be in for a long baby as well (femur is the only thing that's been above the line so far) I keep looking at the nice sleepsuits with feet that I've got and wondering which direction they will be outgrown from first 😂 hoping to have another DC so don't want to go hacking the feet off things either.

Feeling kind of low today. My MIL told me at the weekend that my husband can't be disturbed at night with the baby because he needs his sleep for work. I feel like packing up and going home to be around my supportive family that actually care about me.

Time to tune that MIL out of your internal narrative @kescilly as that’s

a) none of her damned business
b) for you and your DH to decide “baby shift work”
c) an insensitive and shit thing to say to someone giving birth far far away from her family

Oh @Kescilly my MIL said some shit things too when I was pregnant first time, luckily as we don't fluently speak the same language I just ignore it!! (Shame DP often doesn't...)
But that's just an old fashioned attitude IMO. We had friends where this was ACTUALLY true as the DH was an airline pilot and their DS had major sleep issues (and let's face it, nobody wants to fly with a pilot who's had no sleep 😳) but for everyone else you will find a way. Don't let her get you down, easy to say I know but try and just block it out as much as you can.

Wow, how utterly rude and ridiculous of your MIL @Kescilly. Pretty sure you will also need your sleep, so that you are able to care for her grandchild! Not sure what your partner does, but there are many jobs easier and (most certainly) less important than caring for a baby. Agree with others - tune it out and ignore!

Thanks @PaulHollywoodsSexGut @toomanyflatwhites and @Bizawit. I know I should ignore but it’s all these little things that add up and make me feel so unimportant. And part of the reason I moved countries was so that my husband could stay close to his parents!

I think I really got annoyed because I felt like he had made these promises to me about getting stuff ready for the baby last weekend. And then didn’t really honor those commitments, but is all too happy to honor an Easter lunch commitment with his parents where I have to sit and listen to things like that.

Currently rage-assembling our Next to Me because I feel like at least one of us needs to be doing something productive!