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July 2019 (thread 9): shame me about my bump, and I'll shame you about your complete lack of manners

988 replies

RooKangaroo · 19/03/2019 08:53

Honestly, I go to catch up on the thread after a few days and you guys have filled it up! Love this chatty group.

How is everyone this morning?

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16
Capybaras · 26/04/2019 21:42

That's really cute @StargazyDrifter
That's rubbish that you're still getting the unexplained rib pain, but at least you do have something to take if it gets worse (I really hope it doesn't). That's also awesome that your colleague noticed how rude some people can be towards pregnant women on public transport. I haven't had that problem, but imagine it must be awful if you have to stand for a long time. Especially on the tube - I hate the tube at the best of times!

Kentishgal · 26/04/2019 22:06

blueeyedviking I injured my neck and had two prolapsed discs a couple of years back - it was excruciating - I can't imagine how you're coping in pregnancy - I found it unbearable even with strong painkillers - but physio worked miracles - although couldn't do exercises now I'm pregnant so God knows what I'd do if it reignited now - have they been able to give you any exercises? Feel so sorry for you!

cravingmilkshake · 27/04/2019 07:20

Morning ladies,

I have been reading but haven't posted anything in a while! I started a degree last year and it's due to finish at the beginning of July! Baby girl is due the 21st so I'm hoping she doesn't make an early appearance!

We should finish up the nursery this weekend and have a 28 week 4d scan tomorrow so I am very excited!!

I hope you all are well and have a lovely weekend!

TwinkleDay · 27/04/2019 07:32

We have a bump photo shoot today part of a package then also get newborn and cake smash further one

blueeyedviking · 27/04/2019 10:11

@kentishgal that sounds horrible! Mine get triggered by movement and as long as I lay still its fine, but im not looking forward to the next 11 weeks! Ive got physio on Monday so hopefully that will help too.

Think I'm going to do some baby shopping today, from the comfort of my sofa ☺

Then tomorrow we have our first NCT course! It's a 6 hour session tho.

StargazyDrifter · 27/04/2019 13:58

cravingmilkshake good luck with finishing your degree! My friend did this with her DC1 and finished it two weeks before birth. It was quite hard going at the end, and she was sure she'd done badly, but she ended up getting the top mark - so be kind to yourself if you ever think it's all a bit much. There's still you in there, underneath all that bump. 😊

blueeyedviking hope NCT goes well! Ours is over two weekends. We're both a bit shy about it now it's getting close.

A quiet weekend for us after a busy Easter. I'm going to make a start on some parenting books and DH is doing a bit of research on things we are yet to buy like a cot.

Trying2bemum · 27/04/2019 14:53

@blueeyedviking glad you've got sorted with proper pain relief, that sounds really painful

@Capybaras ahhhh the bum pain!!! I get this. Is it all the extra weight going down into your bum when you're sitting? It's really uncomfortable!

Trying2bemum · 27/04/2019 15:31

@StargazyDrifter I get terrible rib pain at times too - would also describe as eye watering. I think it must be the rib cage expanding. It helps if you stretch your arms up over your head for a while

NCT is at the end of May for us - over two weekends. DH is currently in Philadelphia for the first one and Vegas for the second Hmm he's trying to change his roster but I'm not impressed. Work have said he can take unpaid leave for NCT so perhaps he will has to do that. Don't want to do it without him really.

StargazyDrifter · 27/04/2019 16:47

Trying2bemum thanks for the tip, I will try that next time the rib pain hits! Doesn't help that I have a couple more ribs on one side than the other and then baby's bum is pressing against the side with more ribs, with just her legs towards the side where there are fewer ribs. That's what the MW thought anyway. I think if she could turn the other way it might be better.

That's not great about NCT. Hope he can sort it out, there's still time. I think ideally the other parent should also be there too. My friend has chosen to do The Bump class instead of NCT, it's v expensive and the dad only gets to do to one of something like 6 sessions. That's the course set-up. Each to their own, but I wouldn't deliberately exclude DH given the choice.

Trying2bemum · 27/04/2019 21:36

Agreed I think it's important for partners to be there - going to their first birth is daunting and I want him as prepared as possible and ready to support me. Moreover expecting that parenting will be 50-50 shared between us so he needs to learn!

thedust · 28/04/2019 05:43

We're doing NCT together at the end of May and while we've been away we've been watching the Positive Birth Company digital course videos. It still amazes me that some men don't want to be as involved. DH asked his boss what he antenatal classes him and his wife did, they have 2 kids, 3 and 5 months old. He just shrugged and said he left that all up to her and he wasn't involved!

Last night I started leaking milk for the first time! I thought I'd just spilt something on my nightie, we were eating room service at the time. But nope, it was milk. 29 weeks today.

Kentishgal · 28/04/2019 06:28

thedust oh my goodness that's quite impressive - maybe you'll be able to express early? I never leaked it even after having the baby 😂 stargazydrifter I think you're right about the anxiety, yesterday I had total meltdown, I really shouted at my daughter for playing up (surprisingly I'm usually so calm and tolerant with her) and just sat on floor sobbing until my husband took her away - felt so so guilty afterwards - I've never shouted at her before - it really upset her - feel like a rubbish mum. And then in the evening I just sat crying with guilt for upsetting her. Is anyone else suffering with bad dreams? Every night I have terrible dreams - they wake me up and then eventually, after several times of waking, I can't go back to sleep at all. And then the tiredness is probably making me even more grumpy. Been awake since 5 and got to get up in half and hour for daughter's tennis lesson so I be given up again 😏 I've tried my hypnotherapy which usually works but it's not helping lately.

TwinkleDay · 28/04/2019 07:46

Does anyone know if your allowed time off work for the standard antenatal classes? My local ones are a Monday afternoon and they made me take leave on Feb instead of keeping them for things like this

Kentishgal · 28/04/2019 08:37

twinkleday you're allowed paid time off for ante natal appointments that are recommended which can included ante natal classes - so basically yes.

Twistering · 28/04/2019 10:13

Hi all, been lurking for ages while the weeks fly by! Had a bit of preggo insomnia last night at general unpreparedness so trying to get some stuff sorted today!

Anyone who’s got/getting Snuzpod, is there actually anything better/different about the new one (Snuzpod 3)?? There seems to be loads of older ones on EBay etc and brand new seems a lot of £ for something that will only get used for six months.

@TwinkleDay - yes you are defo entitled to paid time off for standard antenatal classes, don’t let them fob you off!

Twistering · 28/04/2019 10:21

Ps. StargazyDrifter and anyone else who has had pregnancy massage, be glad you you didn’t have the one I had in Morocco last week if you are even slightly coy.... they gave me a disposable thong thing to put on and then she basically oiled every inch apart from my nipples... even the bump got a gentle rub!! Not what I was expecting and was glad was rather dark!!! Blush

StargazyDrifter · 28/04/2019 10:23

Kentishgal oww hugs to you. That's a whole load of up and down for you and none of it is your fault; easier said than done, but do try and just put it down to extenuating circumstances. Today is a new day, it's not you being all horrid, it's the hormones and the slowly building but very real pressure/anxiety around what's to come. It's natural and it will pass. Your brain and body on high alert or whatever.

Having said all that, I've been a big ragey sod myself and I'm feeling quite unnerved and guilty about it. My frustration with the hospital has easied, they were v good this week and have already let me know no GD. But in my head I've now turned all ragey towards my MIL and my boss, both of whom are doing moderately irritating but predictable and not really big deal things. I feel like I definitely have higher standards and a shorter fuse these days. I really want it to pass.

I'm seeing the psycotjerpatist again this coming week and will ask her what to actually do with all this anxiety/rage. She's been great at helping me name the stuff, but I need some direction. But she's very into people finding their own answers which sometimes frustrates me more. I will report back.

I think also there's another surge of hormones around now, probably doesn't help.

Now, dreams... I was having pretty vivid but neutral ones in the first trimester, then awful ones, again in the first trimester, that were basically reliving a serious incident from my childhood in all its overwhelming and frightening detail. That's how I ended up with the psychotherapy, because I'd never had any sort of help with that original issue. Then the dreams stopped altogether - I think when my hyperemesis eased and I did crazy stuff at work I just passed out at night and ever stirred. Now the vivid dreams are back (though not the bad ones) and, like you, they're waking me up and leaving me tired. My app says 70 days to go - we can do it!!! 😁

StargazyDrifter · 28/04/2019 10:32

Twistering that made me chuckle about the massage, I've had that type in Vietnam before with the funny thong and it was all a bit 😳, doing it pregnant would make things even more awkward! But all that oil is probably v good for you and bump! Undeterred by the whole sitting on a stool thing, I've booked another massage/spa day with a friend to mark finishing work, though at a different place. Hopefully no thongs, but will now go mentally prepared!

On Snuzpod, we've been wondering the same thing here with DH. If we get to the bottom of it I will let you know. DH's currentlreference is to go for a new one but it's definitely £££.

thedust · 28/04/2019 10:44

@kentishgal I did a bit of googling and it says to maybe express from 36 weeks onwards, lactating can sometimes bring on an early labour because of the oxytocin it releases 😬 it was literally about 3 drops, not a huge leak. I'm at my midwife on Friday so will ask her then.

I've had a few meltdowns with my dog too. Not the same I know, but I definitely lose my patience with her more easily when she's playing up and then I feel really bad because she's an anxious rescue and I don't like shouting at her.

I had a pregnancy massage here in Turkey and it was quite lovely, no massaging the boobs or bump 🤭 it was a bit annoying that I didn't get to enjoy all the other spa things like the sauna and steam room though.

Kentishgal · 28/04/2019 11:12

thedust yes I've heard that too - best not to try yet!! Oh God I've had one of those "thong/boob" massages in the Maldives - I was mortified - I'd booked a whole course so made my husband go to reception and cancel the rest after the first one! They asked why and he said it was too intimate but they didn't understand so he mimed a boob massage and said "too much of this" - I was so embarrassed I used to hide behind him every time we went past the spa! Thank you "stargazydrifter* - just feel so guilty but like you I get really "ragey" - I hope the psychotherapy is helping you. No I agree re the dog - I also shouted at our rescue dog yesterday and, like you, feel terrible afterwards - mum guilt is terrible! Off to a nice bluebell gardens for a walk and some tranquillity!

StargazyDrifter · 28/04/2019 11:28

Quietly dying with laughter here at the idea of Kentishgal's DH miming a boob massage. 😂😂😂

Twistering · 28/04/2019 11:33

Hahaha, glad not just me then! I was genuinely surprised....they don’t care in Asia but for a Muslim country where you cover up they were unexpectedly relaxed about that!!

Thanks on the Snuzpod @StargazyDrifter

stephn88 · 28/04/2019 11:42

We went for the snuzpod 3 just because my partners parents wanted to buy it for us. It's a lovely bit of furniture tbh!

The differences i found online are:

July 2019 (thread 9): shame me about my bump, and I'll shame you about your complete lack of manners
stephn88 · 28/04/2019 11:45

Got my results from the GTT on Friday and all clear thankfully!

Did then have to go to hospital for abnormal heart rate and reduced movement monitoring, was there for 2 hours, wasn't pleasant but baby is all ok which is awesome!

Is anyone here in the Andover/Winchester/Basingstoke area? I can't chose where I want to give birth...

And also, is anyone having to use parent/child parking spaces yet? I parked in our local Sainsbury's the other day and someone had parked so close and at an angle that I couldn't get in my car. They were also sat in there car but would not move there car, I was fuming! Angry

BeckyButterfly · 28/04/2019 11:53

@thedust I've been leaking for a few weeks now! I didn't know what it was at first but it happens pretty regularly during the night now. I keep waking up with stains on my nightie 😂

@stephn88 I got blocked out of my car a little while ago by someone who had parked too close. I was so annoyed! I had to wait a good 5 mins before the woman appeared to move her car. I haven't used to child spaces though, as long as people park sensibly I've been alright.