July 2019 (thread 9): shame me about my bump, and I'll shame you about your complete lack of manners

[RooKangaroo]

Honestly, I go to catch up on the thread after a few days and you guys have filled it up! Love this chatty group.

How is everyone this morning?

@Kentishgal you need to get more pushy and just ask people for their seat. If they are sitting in a priority seat then they need to move but unfortunately people won't do that of their own accord these days.

I was only due to see my MW at week 20 then again at 28 but she asked if I wanted any extra appointments so I had one at week 24. As standard I think it's just 12, 16, 20, 28 then I don't know after that.

As they say where I'm from, shy bairns get nowt!

Ah no way chinks123 hope you didn't stand for long. Why are we all so British about it? Another pregnant lady got on and nobody offered her a seat and I was about to say something on her behalf before she moved onto the next carriage - but I wouldn't dream of asking for myself - I'm afraid I am too British! Not once has anyone offered a seat up on this train - in fact, the other day someone asked if I could move out of a priority seat so he could sit with his friend - I didn't mind as I was able to sit in his seat but it did make me chuckle!

No his wife forced me to sit in his seat and gave him a telling off. He kept scowling though and I just felt awkward! No idea why I’m so British. Dp is the same, we just stand and mutter about how rude everyone is.

@Kentishgal I feel your pain! I've started travelling at earlier/later times just to avoid the rush so I can get a seat- it's ridiculous. I find the bus is worse than the train or tube. DH witnessed it the other day and was enraged on my behalf - his exact words were 'lazy fuckers just couldn't be bothered to move further down the bus!' I've asked a couple of times for a seat but it's so awkward and I'm dreading someone saying no and not knowing what to say back!

Completely with you all on not feeling motivated about work. Definitely counting down the weeks until I finish.

@thedust - yes, I got a rash down there from all the dampness to. It was lovely 🙄.

@JSCRJ - I'm mat-leaving from 39 weeks and using four weeks of leave beforehand, so finishing around 35 weeks. Still feels a long way away!

@Kentishgal - yes to clothes being tight. Even my bigger size leggings are too tight around my bump now. Feel like I need more 'proper' maternity clothes, but also don't want to spend lots of money.

Are you wearing a 'baby on board' badge? I've posit

..... I've positioned mine on my coat quite prominently and people tend to see it and get up for me. I find it's usually women rather than men who get up, though that's just anecdotal.

I'm not crazy about asking, but sometimes I feel so achey I just do it, even if it's awkward. And I've never asked and had no one get up. The more I've done it, the more confident I've become about it.

In other news.... there's a January baby thread now! Suddenly I feel so far along!

@Kentishgal last time I was consultant led and all apps at hospital - they normally take blood pressure and urine sample when arrive by nurse - but nurses used to say if I was ever feeling like I could have uti then pop in and ask them to check sample. So if they don't offer at hospital ask them to check.

I know I watched a programme about doctor/ presenter about humans and he was doing experiment where you ask for something and just give reason 'because' to see if worked. He asked in queue for photocopy 'because he would like to do printing' and asked for seat on the tube ' because he would like to sit' . He said afterwards he felt incredibly uncomfortable asking for someone's seat which o thought was interesting as people always say 'just ask' but I think there is something that makes it hard to do. Also I suffer very badly from sciatica and back issues - once on a packed train to London in morning with crutch and in pain I had to ask twice out loud if. Anyone could give me a seat - someone grudgingly did. But it was so embarrassing.

Love to anyone having to get public transport xx

onemorewish ah thank you - they haven't done them at consultant appointments so far but maybe if I mention to them that it's in lieu of seeing midwife the nurse will do them. Yes I have mine very prominantly placed on coat! And to be honest, my bump is just a really obvious bump so they'd be hard pushed not to notice it...especially with the waddle that now accompanies it! 😂

We started our Nct classes Tuesday night and to start off with I can only describe it as like being at an AA meeting 👍🏼😂 but after they got you up and talking to everyone who are all new parents -some a lot older than us it soon became apparent we are all in the same boat with first child and don't have much of a clue especially the blokes it was a really good session looking forward to the next 5 weeks :)

I share the public transport pain, ladies. I take the tube to work and have also been coming in later to avoid the crush and get a seat. My whole pregnancy I've only been offered a seat on the tube maybe 3 times. Once by a female politician, once by a man, who v sweetly explained that his sister was also pregnant, and once by a woman who herself looked poorly and had crutches (I said no thank you only one stop, and no one else got up). Often people do clock the badge/bump and just look away. I've never managed to ask for a seat, too awkward, I'm full of anxiety as it is. People (men, in my experienxe) also sometimes
aren't shy to push me out of the way, I'm fairly short. I did snap out loud at one guy a couple of months ago for shoving a pregnant woman. He knew he'd done wrong, it's almost as if they do it as long as they can get away with it.

Kentishgal the psychotherapist I see for antenatal depression and anxiety said something recently about anxiety/fear coming out as ragey rants and complains in people sometimes... just as I was midway through a ranty sentence about how something had gone wrong with my consultant appointments. So I've been wondering ever since whether my mini rages are anxiety-related. But I then usually conclude that they are fully justified! 😂

I definitely think the tube is worse than other trains. There's something about it that seems to make people think crushing others is ok, and some get very territorial about getting a seat. It can be horrible for heavily pregnant women on the tube.

I try to avoid it as much as I can, also for the fact it gets so hot and stuffy down there. People seem to be nicer on normal trains!

stargazydrifter - I think you might be right (of course, it was justified on this occasion....)

I feel your public transport pain / rage. I get an overground train and then the Victoria line every day. I also find women are better than men on the whole at giving up seats @rookangaroo

@stargazydrifter I've also been barged in front of trying to get on tubes and have made a point of saying something a few times

At the same time, when someone does give me a seat I spend the rest of the journey feeling a bit guilty they are then standing! Thing is we really do need it, some days I'm really light headed, my back aches, I'm knackered and my balance isn't as good.

I agree with public transport, but I think I've been pretty lucky so far with people getting up. Changing hours so leaving earlier has helped tho.

Today I saw a back specialist and I've basically got a disc that's moving and giving me sciatica. It will only get worse the bigger I get, so he said i have to work from home more and not sit down for more than 30mins. If not it will get worse super quick and would have to go on sick leave. Also was given codeine which is allowed in pregnancy (checked with another doc too). Way worse then I thought it would be! But glad to know what I know need to do.

Separately had another scan due to my bleed which went well. Baby boy on track and he weighs 1.5kg now! No wonder I'm feeling it. Was lovely to see him again 😍

Ah that's lovely you got to see the baby @blueeyedviking and great you've had some proper advice re back pain.
I'm struggling with mine since being back in work - it's more my bum it's aching like crazy from
Sitting down all day and hurts getting up. Trying to walk around as much as I can but it's difficult in a desk job!
Got my pregnancy ball now so trying that out to see if it helps when I'm home!

Feeling mega emotional tonight - crying because I don't know what I want for tea! Ridiculous and I'm laughing at myself but can't help it. Poor DH. He doesn't know what to do!

Christ, @blueeyedviking, that sounds painful! Glad you've got specific instructions from the doctor. Will your work be ok about taking his recommendations on more working from home?

Totally surprised codeine is ok in pregnancy! It's madness isn't it - we can't take decongestants for a basic cold, but we can take codeine!

Sorry you're also suffering, @Capybaras :(. Have you seen any medical professionals about it? x

I've had awful hip, bum and leg pain for months now. Had physio last week which just made the pain worse. Feeling so much sympathy for everyone else in pain x

@RooKangaroo it's only come on in the past few weeks and has been more just a bit of an ache at the end of the day. It's only since being back in work (so this week) that it's ramped up so haven't seen anyone yet. Will see how I get on and if it gets worse I'll mention it to the midwife at my 31 week appointment. Work also have osteopathy benefits so may self-refer to that too if I need to!

Hope everyone's got a nice weekend planned, we're on a hypnobirthing course tomorrow and having a chill day on Sunday!

Im lucky as have BUPA through work, but do speak to doctors if you have pain in hip, bum, legs and back... but yeah the codeine shocked me, I'll only use it when I abs have to. Oh and sorry meant to say I have a prolapsed disc.

@rookangaoroo - I got a letter which is very clear with their recommendation. But as my manager can be horrible and originally tried to get me to take holiday for appointments I'm nervous about telling him. But I reported him to HR then. This time I'll go to HR first with the letter and then him. They dont have a choice really. If they dont allow it, then I'll end up on sick leave which surely none of us want!

Sorry you're suffering blueeyedviking and Capybaras. Back-related pain is horrid.

Touch wood, my back has been ok, but my ribs ache so so badly. Especially on my left side right behind the rib cage, it's literally eye-watering. No one can find the cause and I've also been prescribed codine for it, though also not taken it yet and saving for when it's absolutely necessary because it seems a bit over the top as others have said.

By coincidence, I got the tube in with a very senior male colleague today. He commented, unprompted, how shitty people are despite visible pregnancy and two bags. He was all up for marshalling people out of seats! 😂 I did manage to stop him, though it was good of him to take my bigger bag. It's such an awkward balance between feeling horribly guilty and wanting a seat!

How cute is this!

"Brain: In the third trimester your baby’s brain will grow faster than ever, test-driving some nifty skills including blinking, dreaming and regulating his own body temperature."

❤️ 🌙 😴

(From What to Expect website)

@capybaras would love to hear how you find the course tomorrow, I’ve read s book and been practising at home but debating a course.

@Yukka will definitely let you know how we get on! This ones a private one day course, and then we're doing a nhs hypnobirthing course in a couple of weeks. The NHS one is really popular and hard to get on so we booked the private one first but thought it doesn't hurt to do both! I have the positive birth company digital pack and book too so I'm hoping I'll be a hypnobirthing expert!