July 2019 (thread 8): pram choices, 20-week scans, and the morning gag

[RooKangaroo]

New thread!

Sorry, don't know if someone else was planning to do this. Just noticed how close we were to being cut off on the last thread.

@cravingmilkshake we were at the baby show yesterday and ended up with the Cybex Mios. Quite a bargain, and lovely looking. It's the full cot for us as baby can sleep in that when we travel for the first 6 months. At the show they did a deal which means we got a free car seat - and was £849. The car seat isn't what we will use but is a good spare, and has the benefit of laying almost flat - useful if out for the day with family and in taxis. There was the Mios Lite version which as also good but DH wanted the cot version. I've attached a pic of the pram with the car seat and one with the Lite set up. We're really pleased!

@wombatron thanks for that. I like the look of that actually! I will research more when I am home!

I have had a little bit of good news- my 20 week scan was moved from Wednesday at 5pm to tomorrow at 3pm so I am pleased.

I'm loving all the pram talk, we've been researching all weekend and think we've decided on the Silver Cross Pioneer. Which Silver Cross did you choose after the show yesterday @StargazyDrifter? The baby show is on nearer to me in May. Was it worth going?

Haven't posted since like thread 2 but thought I'd join back in :)

We've had our 20 week scan last Thursday, all ok, and we are having a boy, so both very happy!

Went pram shopping on Saturday in Bournemouth and got a Silver Cross Pioneer in special edition timeless with free car seat for £695! All we need to do is get the isofix base now and they are around £100 so very pleased with the price. The shop is called Bournemouth Baby Centre, they have loads of different travel systems in store and great deals as well.

So think we're all sorted with all the big items now, have all his furniture and went with the snuzpod3 for his first bed :)

Wow it’s been a busy few days on here!!

Thanks for the opinions on the Jack Daniels meal! I asked the waiter if the chicken was cooked in it but he said it was a glaze which was put on afterwards so I decided against it. Some people might think I’m being over the top but I know I’d feel guilty if I’d had it!

Just back from a group pregnancy physio class. It was ok but I’m not convinced the few things they suggested will make any difference to the back/bum/thigh pain I’m getting. We used a gym ball though and that was definitely more comfortable than a chair so I’m going to get one x

@JSCRJ if you have considerable purchases left to make in May, it could be worth going. The travel system we bought was reduced by £225 (so the car seat was free). I didn't find it worth the time for the Tommy Tippee stand or anything else small and baby like - baths etc as they were minimal savings. We weighed up the full price difference against having to a)carry it around and b)having to store it so early on. If it had been in May we would have probably bought much more, but for now we're holding on for any Easter sales for the new Joie car seat and any smaller bits.

@cravingmilkshake it's a lovely set. I'm actually really pleased with it. I've gone for blue with brown leather handles and bumper bar, and a chrome frame. We said no delivery till June, which I'm now regretting as I wish I could have it to play with!

@cravingmilkshake I'm also a newbie and feeling very overwhelmed with all the choices!

Does anyone else feel like their tummy is really heavy? Obvs with a baby and all it will be, but for me today has been a real struggle with a heavy feeling, pains and aches... By the time I'm done at work I feel like i can go straight to sleep.

Thanks @wombatron, that's good to know. Will see how organised we are by May and whether it will be worthwhile.

@blueeyedviking, I felt exactly like that yesterday, really heavy and uncomfortable and like I was hauling a weight around in front of me. Not the same today, wonder if I was just tired or if things have moved around a bit. Hope it doesn't last too long for you either

Hi All, been away for a few days celebrating joining the 40club! Just been catching up with all the posts its so nice that I can relate to everything :)

@blueeyedviking - yes feeling heavy too, though still not ploughed on much weight. I was swimminga gain at the weekend and getting out of the pool is like carrying a sack of potatoes on my tummy!

ok ladies - I have a dilemma and need your opinion/advice Although I appreciate you don't know me or my family in person . . .

My mum wants to physically be at the birth. I have 3 sisters, she was at the births of my 2 older sisters, and my younger sister she wasn't with either as it was really quick and she was instead on duty for minding their 3 yr old with the 2nd one - my sis said afterwards she didn't really want her at the birth anyway.

Just got off the phone to her and she's telling me about how much they all appreciated her being there, because the husbands are useless and they've never done it before anyway. Yes, she's one of those. (my older sisters husbands are useless and its not specific to childbirth support!) She would need to come down and stay for x number of weeks just incase it happened before my induction date and be around afterwards.

DH and I had discussed a while back. We live 250 miles away from all family and I concluded that I didn't really want my mum there. We get on, but we're not as close as she is with my older sisters - they live in each others pockets completely. But for me mum is not always helpful, like she mithers about things that I don't find important, she doesn't really listen to whats important to me, when we visited in January I was having a rest and she's telling my DH 'She's not sick she's just pregnant y'know, anyone would think she's ill!' despite 3 MC's and rare blood disorder . . . I'm not looking for sympathy here but I was feeling REALLY shit that weekend and she did feck all to help me feel better.

She's old school Irish for a village in the middle of no-where, not sure if that helps with background . . .

I just don't know that her being physically at the birth is right for me. I don't want her to feel pushed out or not involved either. She talked about it being 'her right to be there' and I'm like, errrm, is it?

I feel that DH and I are very calm people and we'll manage the birth that way, I'm doing hypno birthing etc - whereas she could almost add stress to the situation because of the way she goes on. I can already imagine her wittering on and on about nonsense and I'll be trying to have peace and quiet and focus on breathing. And it would probably stress out DH if he can't fulfill the role he wants to of she's getting in the way or taking over.

Oh - she's retired nurse too. So she'll be chatting to them about whats going on and giving them advice . . .

She has a point though - neither of us have done this before and it might be useful to have someone who has, but, I'm not sure this potential benefit out ways my perception of it being a bad idea. I can't think of anything that mum would do that DH wouldn't if I needed it.

My sisters then want to do a group visit 3 weeks after birth . . lets not get started on DH's family . . who are actually on my wave length,

Thoughts please! Be honest. Am I being unreasonable? Do mums have a right to be there? Is it fair for me to ask her to come and stay but not actually be at the physical birth? Is it wrong for me to say actually everyone back off and we'll let you know when we're ready for visitors. appreciate its a trek to ours and some planning is needed . . .

help! x

I haven't got a birthing partner yet.OH and mother are both wimps that faint at the thought of a needle... hoping that he might be ok after the Nct classes

This is part of our flip xt on order

Attach

Give up attached isn't working

@blueeyedviking I’ve been feeling exactly the same for the past few days.

@Yukka if I were you, I’d be telling everyone to leave you alone until you want them to visit. Me and my mum a very close and I had always said I wanted her at the birth but since actually falling pregnant I’ve realised that it isn’t fair on my husband. Yes, we’ve never been through it before and she has but I think that is all part of the experience. I told my mum that I would like her to be in the hospital but not in the room, she was fine about that but I know it’s a different situation. Personally, I think that you don’t need any extra stress during that time. You do what you think is best and I wouldn’t be concerned about offending people. They’ll just have to get over it!

@beckybutterfly @yukka @JSCRJ I really hope it passes soon. Did you guys get lightheaded too? I'm normally super active so this constant lack of energy is strange to me. Haven't even gained that much weight so can't be that..

@yukka I think you are in your right to decide exactly what you want and who you want around you. I don't live close to my family and have said that they can come and visit after. This is your pregnancy so up to you and your husband completely.

@yukka no she doesn't have a right at all ! If you don't want her there that's 100% your decision! It's not unreasonable for you to want just you and OH. Also you don't need someone who has the experience.... All the Midwifes and medical staff are fully aware of what they're doing ! Haha.

I had my mum there with my first baby and tbh yes my OH was a complete waste of space. But I was only 23 and we were on the rocks before the birth and split up not long after so I definitely didn't feel supported.

With my last baby it was just me and OH (obviously different partner ) and I was completely fine. I wouldn't mind mum being there but I definitely don't need her there.

I'd just be completely honest with her . Just tell her you appreciate her offer but you'd be more comfortable/perfectly happy just your OH. Don't let her talk you into it or make you feel bad, she's not mummy or daddy so she's no right to be at the birth .

@yukka I agree with the others! My mum has tried telling me she should be there at my birth but I’m certain I don’t want her. It’s a special time for me and DH and I just want it to be us. She will just stress me out!!!

@Yukka I love my mum dearly but I couldn't imagine anything worse than her being at the birth. She certainly has no right to demand it so unless you specifically want her she needs to butt out.
For what it's worth DH is generally useless with anything like this but when ds was born he really stepped up, kept me grounded when things were going wrong and I was panicking and all I remember is him, I don't remember anybody else in the room (not the midwife or the other staff that came in at the end). It is quite a special memory and my mum would either have been superfluous or just completely got in the way

Thanks everyone I’m glad it’s not just me!! I’ll have to tell her that she’s welcome to come down but I want the birth to be just us and explain that I need calm and more people will add to that not being the case. It’s already a High risk ward birth I expect there’ll be drs and midwives everywhere.

I’ll see how she takes it!

yukka totally agree you're not being unreasonable. You might not have done it before but I'm pretty sure the midwives have so you'll be just fine! It's your baby and your body so you must do what is right for you.

For the20 week scan tomorrow, do I need to eat or drink anything to get the baby moving?

I’ve managed to get baby kicking on video today 😍 I didn’t think I’d see movements from the outside so early. My best friend thinks it’s because I’m slim but not sure x

@Yukka it doesn’t matter that neither of you have done it before, you’ll know what to do when the time comes. The medical staff have done it all before so you don’t need your mum there.

I had my mum and dp at my first birth, as I was quite young and my mum just got swept along by the staff really. She only came to drop us off but ended up staying as things happened so quickly. I love her to bits but she was useless She stood in the corner and cried the whole way through as she couldn’t bear to see me in pain. (First time I’ve ever seen her cry!)
Dp was absolutely amazing. He was young too and is usually a bit of a wally, but he was just brilliant. He helped me shower afterwards, he put on my sanitary towels and got me dressed when I couldn’t walk.

When things got complicated afterwards it was nice to have my mum there next to me while dp held dd, but this time it’ll just be the two of us. Friends have already started “bagsying” birth partner..so we’re just not going to tell anyone when I go into labour.

Oh man the heartburn 😷 forgot about this part!

Had a quick catch up this morning, only last few pages though, before I start getting everyone ready for school.

Pramwise- this is the first thing I have bought last Friday, I went with a bugaboo chameleon3, I ended up getting second hand due to the fact that I do a lot of driving so it will be in the car a lot. It’s one of those refurbished ones though, where people buy them; do them up and sell on. It looks basically new. I paid 350 for it.

Birth partner wise- my partner will be there. My mum has always been there with my other 5 too, but as of yet she still doesn’t know I am pregnant and it’s probably unlikely she will be there this time.

Best is fed as already mentioned; I tried it with some of my boys it didn’t happen so they were formula fed, my youngest (DD) was breastfed, I spent 4 and half weeks expressing first, she had it through her nasal tube and then she went on to have it in bottles; then the night I roomed in with her at the hospital we established it properly and she fed until 23 months. There is no right or wrong with feeding, it’s each to their own.

I ended up in MAU for a good few hours yesterday, I’m now waiting on a letter coming through to see my consultant to discuss a better management plan for my care. Hopefully cervical scan checks will be part of that but won’t know until I see her.

I hope everyone is ok.