June 2019 babies - part 5!!!!

[socktastic]

2nd trimester for all the lovely June mummies out there! Yippee!!!

@allfurcoatnoknickers I’m an American in the UK and it’s been difficult for me to deal with the lack of monitoring. And never seeing an OBGYN! I’m 20 weeks on Wednesday and I’ve never heard the heartbeat, don’t know if I ever will.

Gone back to work today and I've definitely got a bump of some sort, I hadn't the heart to tell people I think it's more likely to be my intestines in a bundle rather than the baby 😂 I do have a short torso and small waist though, not sure how everything is going to fit in there much longer!

@Kescilly have you not had a 12 weeks scan and 16 week check up? You should have heard the heartbeat at both.

@Kescilly I've actually lost count of how many scans I've had I think the 20 week anatomy scan will be the 6th, if you include the check with the Doppler. I'd assumed it was the same in the UK, but just with a midwife instead of a doctor. Surprised to hear that scans are so few and far between and they don't keep a very close eye on the fetal heart rate.

I know the US has a horrible reputation for being over-medicalized when it comes to birth, but this is my first baby, and I'm quite scared and neurotic, so I don't mind having regular appointments with the consultant. I can see if you were more laid back it could really get on your nerves and be intrusive.

I'm not mad on being weighed all the time though...

@Heebyjeeby99 I’ve had both but not heard the heartbeat at either. The midwife hasn’t mentioned it at all, and I assumed since I didn’t hear it at the first scan, I wouldn’t at the second one either.

I’ve had a few private scans and I saw the heartbeat but haven’t heard it anywhere.

I heard the heartbeat but only at a private scan, most NHS trusts don't let you hear the heartbeat at the scans. Apparently the same with the midwife using the Doppler at 16 weeks, they used to do it but now hold out until after 20 weeks because they can't always find it. Fortunately my midwife did say she'll use the Doppler at my appointment next week. Depends where you live I guess

@allfurcoatnoknickers I think it’s been difficult for me because I’d prefer a more medicalised pregnancy and birth. So to have less care than I’d like has been hard. I really struggled in early pregnancy but to be honest, I’m also scared of delivering here.

I’m also trying to reassure my friends and family back home while not feeling secure in my care myself.

I can totally understand the gender preference @Kescilly @Torsz, I had a private scan at 16 weeks and eventually found out we're having a girl (didn't find out initially as they put in an envelope). I have a DS who is 4 so even though I told myself I didn't mind either way, I knew deep down I was hoping for a girl and was ecstatic when I found out. My 20 week scan is tomorrow and I'm hoping to get it confirmed. Also more importantly just really want baby to be healthy! I'm actually quite nervous

@Curlywurly3 I think you're right about the heartbeat, my midwife did actually use a Doppler at my 16 week appointment and found baby's heartbeat but with my DS 4 years ago they didn't. I live in a different area now too. Interestingly at a couple of my private scans (I've had a few) they wouldn't let me hear the heartbeat and would only show me 🤨

On a side note, does anyone know if here in the UK the NHS routinely looks at cervical length at the 20 week scan? Can't remember if they did or not with DS 4 plus years ago. My anxiety is playing up again (seeing my GP tomorrow) and I'm worrying a lot about preterm labour even though I have no reason to

@Kescilly we didn't hear the heartbeat at the 12 week or 17 week (gender) scan, nor at the 16 week midwife appointment. I asked and she said it was too early to hear it 😫

Thanks for your support everyone, really helped me to read that maybe I'm not as mad as selfish as I first blamed myself to be.

I agree about the monitoring, I was shocked when the midwife said she won't see me now til March! She did my heartbeat at the 16 week appointment but mine was way louder than the baby one and kinda drowned it out.

Could I be added to the Facebook group somehow? Thanks :) x

I'm just back from my totally pointless 2nd midwife appointment...very brusque woman who told me she's just covering today (someone else told me the same last time) and proceeded to spend the whole appointment moaning about the new computer system, telling me the previous woman had sent me to the wrong clinic, blah blah blah...I thought the plus was that at least I wouldn't see her again!
Nothing happened other than a blood pressure check, a urine dip, and she booked the next appointment (in ELEVEN weeks). And she switched me to the right clinic (giving me a choice of two local ones) and then at the end said she would see me at the next appointment and I'm wondering if I should have picked the other clinic if that means not seeing her!! Totally meh..(and it started half an hour late)

@Heyha I’ve had a bump for ages. It’s getting a bit bigger now. Alas, it is clearly mostly fat being pushed out by bloating. Still, after most of a lifetime of being annoyed/ashamed of my fat, pregnant-looking tummy, it finally has its chance to shine! I’m making the most of it, and wearing tight tops wherever possible. I’m slightly embarrassed that it is a “fake bump”, but it certainly didn’t look like that before I was pregnant, so it’s clearly because of the baby, even if the baby and womb make up almost none of the actual bump! (I do have a small bump behind the fat now, though, which is made of baby and womb. That feels nice.)

I’d like to be added to the Facebook group, too, please, but can’t remember who I’m supposed to send my e-mail address to. Please can someone remind me? Thanks! :-)

I'd like to be added to the Facebook group too please but don't know how!

So, after 16 week apt do we not get another until 27 weeks? That’s ages! With dd they gave me extra apts as I was higher risk (mentally, not physically) so I remember I had appointments practically every other week pretty much throughout.

@spargle I know what you mean, it's there because of baby even if it isn't baby is a great way to look at it! The kids are back in tomorrow so I'm sure I'll get a few "too many mince pies" comments, it's just their way of showing an interest 😂

@Reastie after 16 weeks if you're not a first time mum you're next appt isn't until 28 weeks. First time mums have 2 extra appointments (25 and 31 weeks). Although if you're high risk you'll have more, I'm a second time mum but have a 25 and 31 week appointment as I had high blood pressure at the end of my last pregnancy and need extra monitoring x

@Spargle hey due date buddy! We are having a little girl so hopefully you can match us on that as well as the date.

@2countries1bump Yay! A due date buddy! DH and I were both born two weeks late, and had to be evicted, so I wouldn’t be surprised if you deliver first, but who knows? I might be less comfortable than our respective mothers!

@Spargle - you're on for the backwards race, my mother is convinced the hospital had the dates wrong and I was a 10 month baby!

@Spargle Totally the same with a bump! Have always had a bit of a wobbly tummy and wore clothes that would hide it a bit. This is the first time I actually have a bit of proper body confidence and want to wear tighter clothes that show a bump off! I'm 18 weeks tomorrow and think my uterus only comes up to about a finger or two below my belly button. But that increase in size has pushed everything else up and out (including the fat!!)

Although saying that, I think I've gone down 2 dress sizes from nausea and sickness (which might also be helping with body confidence!). Was a good size 16/L before pregnancy, and weighed about 73kg. Now I'm fitting into H&M Medium Mama size, where I could hardly get into a H&M medium pre-pregnancy, and could probably go smaller on some things and weighing 71Kg, with a bump.

How's everyone else feeling about their bodies?

@crazycowlady the things that's surprised me the most is my legs- I bought some cheap size 12-14 pyjamas the other day to 'grow into' and there's a bit of room round the tummy still but they are so so tight on my legs, ok they are fitted and I do have muscular legs/pear shape BUT size 10 skinny jeans were my norm until 8 weeks ago. I don't care one bit though, I'm just delighted I don't feel sick all the time any more!

Hey ladies, haven't written on here for a little while even though Iv been keeping up to date. Glad to hear a few of you are feeling better, sickness wise I do however my mood hasn't ever been worse I don't think.. I'm miserable! And not sure why.. bloods r fine (folate a little low) so I assume the lack of energy and omph is all down to mood!
Finding it hard to be interested in this pregnancy which sounds awful (3rd baby)
Is pregnancy depression a thing?

I got myself some maternity jeans and a few bits to cheer myself up today 😬.
Proper little bump now! 16+2

Bigone pg depression and anxiety is definitely a thing, I had it last time (but didn’t realise it was a thing and that’s what I had at the time, it was only with hindsight it was obvious). Hope you’re ok?

Roller that’s interesting, I wonder if they’ll give me extra appointments this time again or if I’ll be left until 28 weeks. Will find out when I go on Thursday.

So met with the King of Midwives today and WHAT A DIFFERENCE. Was listened to, the state that DS was in when he was born was explained to me properly, she listened to me, took my wishes on board, has referred me to a more “right on” consultant and now I have a birth plan for VBA2C/ELCS if no baby by 41w.

For the first time in weeks I’m grinning ear to ear. I feel so much happier than I’m not being made to feel like a twat and that I’m getting supported.

@Bigonesmallone3 I read your posts at times and think I could have written them myself. I too feel utterly desolate at times, with a crisis in my head going on where I feel that I am losing all my friends, I have zero social life, I miss having a good laugh and life is just a bit meh. This is not a January thing...it’s been going on for weeks. You are not alone.

@toomanyflatwhites ask for the appointment again with a different midwife, even if it’s just for a chat. It’s fair and nobody will tell you off x

@rollerskaterdata today I found out my previous trust measured cervical length as standard at 34w. That was UCLH if that helps?

Re emotions @excitedmama I sob like a baby every single time the CBeebies closedown song comes on at 7pm. EVERY TIME. Sometimes I don’t make it that far and if the bedtime story is super cute it’ll start there. I can’t fight it, have tried.