The March-ers 2019 - #7

[Angelmiracle]

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Thread 6

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/3379197-The-March-ers-2019-6

We have all of our stuff from DS but I've bought a few new bits for this one as I want her to have her own. Not much though - 5 sleep suits, a couple of vests and some dresses in bigger sizes. She'll be in sleepsuits initially and then once the weather is warmer I'll adjust the layers accordingly but will probably be rompers over the summer with outfits starting in the autumn. DS was born in a heatwave so spent most of his time in just a vest/ bodysuit. Started organising my hospital stuff, going to dig out my small suitcase tomorrow and get everything in there so we can grab it whenever it's needed. Will have a smaller bag attached / inside with stuff for labour too so the suitcase can stay in the car rather than be carted about.

As @BadBadBeans so rightly put it - it's getting real ladies!

@Wineandchoccy @HidCat 😨😨😨 Hospital bag already! You are so organised I wish I had enough bits to start that.

I feel more anxious that I need it done early - keep thinking it's a sign baby might be early! I'll be well sickened going over haha.

I duefully request a list of your hospital bag essentials please if you can be bothered!

@Angelmiracle these are my lists so far

@Angelmiracle

Thank you so much @Wineandchoccy 😁 I love lists. I have a list which I've added to as I go along - DS is 6yo now.

But I love to see anything I may have missed out

Great list, thank you!

A really good tip I had when DS was born was to have a separate bag packed with extra clothes for you and for baby in case you are in for an extended stay (I was in 6 days with DS). This prevents your partner from turning up with lacy knickers, push-up bras and 3-6 month outfits because it's 'all he could find'... Also may I suggest a carrier bag for putting in dirty washing for partner to take home at the end of each day!

Thanks to everyone reg the clothing situation... Was having a panic as realised that we are good at "big" items that require thought, research etc but haven't really considered the day to day realities of life with baby yet. A lot of our friends and colleagues have kids but we see them maybe once a month if that so there aren't any children that are in our lives regularly (1st grandchild on both sides & we both live 3+ hours from family anyway) so whilst I know logically we will be able to do it as everyone else clearly manages, it's also a bit scary thinking that neither of us have ever changed a nappy and my husband has never even held a child despite my encouragement. The main baby experience I have is from when my brother was born and I was 6 so acted like his second mum.

Regarding hospital bags... I've read things where people say it's useful to have multiple bags etc but we don't have a car to store stuff in, so how "big" a bag should I be thinking of taking? Also would we take the car seat with us when we go in to have the baby, or would husband be advised to go home on the bus (about an hour round trip) to collect that sort of thing? There just seems to be a lot we will need to carry!! I think you go through different rooms too, so I wouldn't be in one room for the duration of my stay, most likely? I'm having it in a doctor/consultant led set up if that makes a difference.

To whoever was talking about grey hair... I've also noticed a few stray hairs recently. Put it down to getting old as I've just turned 30! I've not noticed it getting bigger (if anything it's got smaller) so maybe it is pregnancy related?

@cardboard33 We had never changed nappies either... Amazing how quickly you become an expert! Don't worry; you'll work it out. And the midwives are extremely good at giving advice when asked.

Regarding the multiple bags / no car situation - I would have one with all the essentials for a 2-day stay, and then keep an extra one packed at home for your husband to go and get if you have an extended stay.

Regarding the car seat... Yes, you might go through different rooms. You might even be in a waiting room at the start I think? (I was induced with DS and we were in a waiting room for ages, but I've heard that can happen even if you're in labour if the hospital is busy.) I think probably in your situation I would leave the car seat at home for your husband to collect later. An hour round trip isn't so bad that it would make me want to battle in with the car seat whilst in labour!

One more thing - can't remember if someone said it here a few months ago or if I've heard it elsewhere, but it is a REALLY good idea to keep baby's first outfit - vest, sleepsuit, hat - in a ziplock bag so it's easy to locate / grab. With DS I ended up having an emergency C-section and all of our bags were moved to a different room while I was in the operating theatre. It was all such an emergency that grabbing a baby outfit was the furthest thing from DH's mind, and the result was that DS was in a hospital blanket and hat for hours. I seem to remember us getting criticised by a member of hospital staff about this as well, but I may have got the wrong end of the stick.

Also, if you're planning on doing any breastfeeding, do make sure you take in nipple cream. Lansinoh was a god-send with DS. Expensive but worth it.

@BadBadBeans yes I mentioned that a while ago. I labelled the bags as well with the weights that they went up to to make it idiot proof for DH so a set of newborn, a set of up to 1 month, set of 0-3 for example
Then I put vests/bodysuits and sleepsuits in another ziplock bag.

@cardboard33 I would pack a bag to cover a 2 night stay to take with you and then leave another bag and the car seat at home for DH to collect.
I was in 5 rooms last time so you don’t want to be carrying loads of stuff if you can help it.

A wheelie suitcase (cabin bag size) is a good idea so if you have to move around it is easy to pull along (post birth you are likely to be moved in a wheelchair so if DP isn't there you can always pull it along!)

Haven't had a chance to look at @wineandchoccy 's list yet but straws are handy for labour and one handed drinking (a cup with a built in straw is even better!).

I need to think how about the hospital bag(s). I think last time we had a jute bag for labour with snacks and books and that kind of thing, then the wheelie case with clothes. One thing I definitely forgot (well hadn't got round to packing really) was stuff for me! Post birth is uncomfortable - so comfy clothes that are easy for feeding in (and breast feeding friendly bras measuring around 36 weeks if you can and are planning to feed)

Had such a productive day yesterday and feeling very overwhelmed today. It might be something to do with my massive tax bill! It's put such a dent in my bloody finances, I wasn't expecting it to be so much and it's made me sad that I can't just go and get a few baby bits here and there and I'll have to ask OH or my Mum to help me out which is rubbish. Obvs OH is equally responsible but it's nice to have the financial independence to just order a few nighties for my hospital bag or whatever! I'm alright, not looking for advice, just a little vent!

Anyway, can the other freelance ladies remind me how they went about sorting their MA? I've obviously now done my latest tax return not sure if that makes a difference. I know we discussed it before but I don't think I'll be able to find the thread now. TIA x

I've had greys for at least 6 or 7 years and I'm 33.

So I had an eventual group physio session this morning. I passed out 🙈 There were only 4 of us there thankfully and it was a power point on Pelvic Girdle Pain- apparently if the advice doesn't help you can get a 1:1 appointment.

She had just got to the 2nd slide 5 mins in and I got really warm took off cardigan but was getting warmer then the dizziness kicked in. I was thinking please please go away don't faint but I waved at the physio and she ran straight over think she seen me about to go. I went out briefly while she was holding onto me thankfully I didn't end up on the floor.

Another physio wheel chaired me to her office so I could lie on the couch. I was mortified and in shock. Rang mum she didn't ask much just where are you I'm coming now. Think it put her in a panic of course! The physios were lovely made me tea and gave me chocolate sweets lol.

They checked BP twice and it was completely normal. So quite possibly my iron has dropped. I will go to MW on Monday. I was on the hospital site and they said I could go to FMAU but honestly I just wanted bed! Definitely tired too. DS was back to school and up from 6am when DH was heading to work.

Slept at mums 2 hours and still so tired!

@angelmiracle how horrid, hope you feel better for a big sleep!

@angelmiracle gosh that sounds stressful! Hope you’re ok now. I was at an appointment earlier (28 week bloods) and felt really dizzy - it was so hot! What is it about the nhs keeping everyone so warm? Hope you rest well and feel better soon.

That sounds scary @Angelmiracle. Hope you keep feeling better - if you're worried before Monday do phone the hospital.

@gronk27 I know what you mean about financial independence. I have had hardly any since we had DS and may pay stopped. We couldn't afford for me to go back and it has been stressful. Hope you get your Mat allowance sorted.
On the subject of nighties, don't spend a lot as the labour ones will likely get very bloody! I got 2 from Primark that were button down and amazingly washed up superbly and have been brought back into circulation already as I can't deal with anything round my bump with any pressure!

@Angelmiracle I had the group physio too. It was useless! It all just screamed of common sense and nothing actually new and useful.

Can I ask a relatively personal question of people? How long have you all been with your partners? We've only been together about 15 months (fully aware this has all happened very quickly!) so just wondered if anyone here had been with there's a similar amount of time......just figured our experience might be slightly different than people who've been together for years / are married etc

I've been with my husband for 16 years, which makes me feel ancient! @WhatALearningCurve

@squirtlesmumagain thank you. I’ve got a budget for when MA and child benefit actually start and OH takes on all the bills. He’s totally on board with being a team, it’s just a strange transition. And thanks for the tip on the nighties! I defo need to get to Primarni.

Oh and I went to Aldi today but no changing rucksack as of yet.

Thanks for all of the tips ladies!! I remember someone saying about the freezer bags thing so have already told husband about that...

@angelmiracle that sounds awful, and embarrassing!! At least you were somewhere safe rather than out and about. I've also nearly passed out at a maternity appointment... They must get it all the time.

@whatalearningcurve I seem to recall @ballanj saying she hadn't been with her partner long but I could be wrong. I think it's mostly about stage of life and circumstance rather than length of relationship tbh. I've been with my husband for 10 years and married for almost 3 but we got together when I was in my final year of uni, did LDR for 3.5 years before finally ending up in the same city so we've only lived together for half of that time. Meanwhile one of my close uni friends had a baby last year with someone she'd been with about 2 months (I'm honestly not even exaggerating) which was apparently planned and they lived together when she conceived so she must have moved in after a few weeks. I think once you get into adulthood it's just about stage of life and what feels right as obviously if you get with someone when you're 30 and you want to have kids you'd be unlikely to wait until you were 40 to start trying for a baby.

We have been together nearly 17 years so the other end of the scale. I don’t think it really matters as long as you love each other who cares although me and DH do joke that if we had got on with it when we 1st met our child would be leaving school

Thank you everyone DS is for bed 7.30pm as will I be. I've nowhere to be tomorrow so will rest all day.

@WhatALearningCurve I only heard the topics to be discussed at the start and thought to myself I feel like I'm back at uni listening to a boring lecture.

The benefit of passing out means they've given me the appointment phone number to see physio 1:1 ! However I'll probably just be given 'tips' to manage it more than them doing any work on me.

I was mortified 😨 @cardboard33 I've fainted 4/5 times in my life- always in public health facilities lol

@Angelmiracle bless you it’s horrible fainting especially that feeling knowing you are going to go. Hope you feel ok now x

Had my growth scan and check of baby today. Baby is transverse and weighing 4lb. Bright bowel is still showing though so just need to keep our fingers crossed.
Next scan in 3 weeks to check position and see if placenta has moved.