Yammer Grads

[SoozC]

Calling all up-duffed Yammers! Come and continue the swearing and the love on our pregnancy thread, and let us never forget how lucky we are!

Yes we paid for all our early scans. I think they're about £89 each. Just Google private scans in your area. Mothercare normally has a company on-site that does them.

I wouldn't tell HR yet, if you're still worried. Are you genuinely concerned that your boss is going to get rid of you? Or is her behaviour an extension of her unpleasant behaviour from before she knew you were pregnant?

Ill have a google and see what comes up in our area. Maybe i could go shopping and get it done on a Saturday! haha

I'm not worried that she is going to get rid of me.. she would have to jump through a lot of hoops for that to happen. Her behaviour is definitely an extension from before.. but I guess i want the back up from HR so if she is treating me badly i can go.. hang on you cant treat me like that. You know?

I'd grin and bear it in the short term. Another couple of weeks and you'll be telling people anyway.

But you can say to her "is there an issue?" or of you think she's bullying you, you can talk to HR about it. Unless you feel her behaviour is related to your pregnancy, I don't think you'll gain anything from telling hr early.

Pinkemi have you got anything on email to/from her that mentions the pregnancy. I had to formally 'inform' my boss in writing (email) as per our policy, but this would give you additional cover in case she tries to treat you differently now you're pregnant.

@WonkyDonk87 nope not yet.. It was only a verbal telling.

I have to eventually "inform" my boss in writing (email) too but this is only when I am also informing HR of the pregnancy.

I think im going to take Si1vers advice and hold out for a few more weeks. If it gets too difficult to bear then I am going straight to HR!

Im working from home today as it seems that no matter how much i sleep.. i just dont feel rested! This baby is sucking the energy out of me. Didnt feel safe with the commute..

Went back to sleep for an hour.. and had the worst dreams possible. I feel more un-rested than i did when i first woke up! haha Dreamt that I overslept and my manager was furious with me.

Oh god. The bone crushing exhaustion of the first trimester. I used to come home from work, sleep on the sofa for a couple of hours until my husband woke me up, fed me and then sent me to bed.

Take this opportunity to sleep on your back or front as much as possible.

Horray!! Just had an email from my clinic telling me that I can now stop the horrible pessaries! (bane of my life!) They say that most women slowly wean themselves off it.. so i might do that.. do only 1 in the morning for say a week before stopping completely or something.

wahoo! is it sad how happy this has made me? hahaha

@Si1ver please tell me it gets better and not worse? I honestly feel like I could sleep forever at the moment. haha I dunno how these women exercise in their first trimester.

Oh my god @Pinkemi I'm so jealous of you. I had four twice a day up to 12 weeks.

It does get better. If you can try and do some swimming/walking and eat healthily then you're going to feel better but don't feel bad about sleeping loads too. Middle of the second trimester my exhaustion started to wear off a bit. I'm still tired now, but the first three months were definitely the worst.

The joke was that if friends came for dinner they had to be here for seven ... and be gone for nine so I could go to bed.

Is anyone having/had days that are a bit quieter on the movement front? MiniWonk has moved throughout the day occasionally, but nothing big and limited evening acrobatics (occasional slight nudge but no big moves). S/he's moved within the 4 hour period easily.... it's just not like normal. Had a few days on and off like this in the past week or so.

Yes, all the time @Wonks. Especially if they've turned sideways or hidden a bit.

If you're worried call your midwife though.

Had a few days like that Wonky, mostly I think when he'd spun the right way round and limbs weren't at the front but they do say to call if you've any concerns at all. I went in once with slightly reduced movement and they monitored for a couple of hours.

Thanks - I think it's mostly me being anxious (must stop googling, it offers no real reassurance!). If you contact them with any change nowadays then they'll recommend monitoring. Need a burly old fashioned midwife to tell me I'm being a precious first time mum!

Don't be silly Wonks, when it's taken as long as it's taken all of us to get pregnant it's hardly surprising that we're anxious.

My baby is having a super still day and I'm half tempted to call the midwife even though I know they were squiggling this morning. They've just not been kicking.

Wish i could help but ive not got to that stage yet!

Just had my first proper emotional outburst since finding out im pregnant. DH and i have just had a blazing row..im now upstairs in bed and hes downstairs watching tv. this being pregnant thing is not all roses and flowers like i thought it would be.

Turns out im shit scared about how my body is going to change.. how much fatter im going to get.. more stretch marks etc. I dont feel very supported at the moment.. my husband has been away a lot recently for work and im fed up of going to bed on my own.

I think the lack of sex between us really hasnt helped either. I feel so distant from him.. and even though my clinic has said we are okay to start having sex again.. i just cant! Im so scared that something is going to go wrong. Even contemplated turning the HR monitor off on my fitbit because im worried about the fact that my resting heart rate is dropping.

Sorry guys.. i know i just seem to moan all the time.. but im feeling so fragile.. and my DH just doesnt understand. He thinks its just me being intentionally difficult.

Give yourself a break Pink - you're at the stage of the biggest hormonal shift. At that point I was really wobbly and couldn't face anything more anxiety provoking than watching QVC (NOTHING BAD HAPPENS ON QVC!!!)
I've had a few emotional outbursts in front of/at DH - but the next day he's always better because he knows how I actually feel rather than bottling it.
Let him calm down downstairs with crap Friday night telly and revisit the conversation when you're feeling more resilient.

,@Si1ver i took your advice and booked another scan. Think ill be 9/10 weeks when i have it. DH thinks its a lot of money seeing as like 3 or 4 weeks later i should have another one.. but i need it for my own peace of mind.

Fed up lying in bed crying because i feel like its all going wrong.

Thanks @wonkydonk87.. its so bloody hard. (Is QVC a shopping channel?)

We wont revisit it in the morning.. the argument is done. Ive just got to carry on i guess.. just so fed up of feeling like this though.. im emotional enough as it is! Honestly feels like how i do right before my period when my hormones just go hay-wire.

Just be gentle with yourself. Recognise that you're not at your most resilient emotionally and comfort yourself until the storm passes.

QVC is a shopping channel yes.... where nothing bad ever happens, all conversation is flowing and positive and fluffy It's my safe space ha ha.

I might have to try this shopping channel. Wonder if i can get it on freeview?

Think i just need sleep sleep and more sleep. Am at a christmas party tomorrow.. dreading having to stay up late and dreading drinking the soft drinks! Ha ha

I'm quite looking forward to having a good excuse to go home early from work's Xmas party unlike last year when I rolled home at 5am full of tequila and Guinness

Hope you get a good rest Pink

Hope you're feeling better when you wake up Pink.

I managed 1.5 hours sleep early evening but have now been up with whinging baby for more than 6 hours and am considering smothering DH with a pillow coz he sleeps through. No judge or jury etc. DS asleep. Until I put him down. Zzzzzz. Good job he's so cute.

@Pinkemi firstly an extra scan is a good investment. At ten weeks you'll be able to see actual limbs and recognisable stuff. It'll help loads. Secondly I've had a number of breakdowns on my poor husband. Totally normal, but it is important to try and realise when you're being hormonal and crazed as well. The changes to your body are scary, it becomes all about what the baby needs and not what you want which is really hard. I've been covering myself in bio oil. I've got two new stretch marks.

The lack of sex post IVF is really hard. I didn't want to because of the pessaries, then I was too tired. I've finally got my sex drive back but we spent a lot of time trying to find other ways to connect. Just earlier this week my husband said that it was nice that we were having regular sex again and then we laughed hollowly at twice a week equating regularly for us. Long term TTC has really taken its toll.

@Limp you've handed off the baby now and fine back to bed right?!

Er not exactly. Boy won't settle for DH with his non functioning boobs, so watched crappy films til he finally went down at 7.30, got another 2 hours but it's gonna be a mighty long day. Zzzz.

Honestly guys i feel worse... woke up crying from a really horrible nightmare.. a discussion with DH has turned into another argument and hes just stormed out of the room to get in the shower.

Without letting too much away.. we have a lot of other stuff happening in our lives which are quite stressful at the moment. Was trying to sell the house but its off the market and i miss my "stuff" although DH doesnt.

Im scared at how my body is gonna look. I already have tons of stretch marks and saggy bits from being fat. Why oh why did i not just lose the weight before this whole process?! Might start using bio oil now before they appear.

I dunno.. im probably feeling overly emotional about everything..

I tried to explain to DH this morning about why im so scared still to have sex.. he understands but i just feel so guilty about it.

@limpLettice sorry to hear of the struggles with DH. I am not looking forward to that one bit!! Lol

Guess i better get up and pretend to be happy and not so emotional. (Sigh)