August 2018 #5

[peterpanwendy]

As we enter month 5 of our pregnancies we need a 5th thread!

Good luck to everyone having their 20 week scan this/next week :)

@SpriteGirl omg you are killing me 😂 every time i think i have finally got myself as organised as you, you the take it to another level. Nursery visits?! Ahhhh i can't keep up with that 😂 xx

@NikkiL123 in some areas they tell you to get down there before the baby is born! I was thinking about doing it, but I just can't bring myself to. I'll do it as soon as baby is here.

I'm 32+6 too, it does feel like things are really speeding up now. If I think about the fact that baby could make an appearance anywhere from 38 weeks, that really does make me think I need to get sorted!

@milney25 i'm pretty sure we wont be living where we do now this time next year so wouldn't even know where to apply. What age do kids even start nursery? 😳

@NikkiL123 most nurseries will take babies from a few months old, many mums have to go back to work quickly after the higher rate of MAT pay ends. I plan to go back at 9 months though, and I know the waits around me can be a year!

Thanks @milney25 we are going to see how we get money wise if we cope ok with only OH's wages then i wont be going back to work. If i apply but dont need the space is there some sort of charge do you think?

I asked this question at my NCT the other day. I wanted to know what about if I wasn't sure if I wanted 3 or 5 days a week. They told me to put myself on the wait list for five days and drop it down to 3 when the time came if I needed to. It really does depend on where you live, I live in a London suburb and it means the wait list is long. Best thing to do is call one or two of the local nurseries that are well rated and ask them if they have a waiting list!

@NikkiL123 that article looks interesting but I doubt there will be much change before we are due to give birth.
But don't worry. Just be firm and tell them that you're formula feeding. Its more than their job's worth to be too pushy and try to bully you into it. If you do come across someone who you feel is being too pushy then you're well within you're rights to make a complaint.

I think baby will be going into the same nursery that DD is in now. But only after I go back to work, so it'll be ages off yet. But I'll speak to them before DD leaves (she's got a 'graduation' ceremony in a couple of weeks, I'm going to be a crying mess. Its true what they say, they really really do grow up so fast).

I’m not organised at all. The nursery was meant to be done weeks ago but for various reasons isn’t getting done until next week. I’ve bought a few random bits for my hospital bag that’s it.

They had an open day at the nursery today and they don’t like you to drop in so I didn’t have much choice. It gets booked up and there’s a long waiting list. Plus I know I’ll be going back to work full time in May (planning to use annual leave for a phased return to work from mid March) so I needed to get this sorted.

It’s really odd visiting a nursery when your child isn’t even born yet, it’s difficult to imagine how it will be or what questions you need to ask. Anyway it’s a nice nursery and very near us so I think I’ll be filling in the form and paying the (£500!) deposit!

I mean the baby’s nursery in our home is meant to be done next week. Obviously gets a bit confusing talking about nursery as in child care!

I’ve been waiting for that room to be done so I could buy the cot but it kept getting put back so it’s beginninng to stress me out now. Just want to be organised because my brain goes 🤯🤯🤯🤯 otherwise

This is the closest nursery to where we live now, how in god's name can they justify these prices 😥😥😥

@SpriteGirl

I'm glad you liked the nursery! That seems a lot for a deposit though, I've never had to put a deposit down at all.

If anyone is wondering what questions to ask a prospective nursery I'd recommend:

What do you supply and what do I need to supply (nappies/food/drinks/wipes etc). Some will supply everything and others don't. This can be important as the costs can add up, on top of the fees.

What do you feed the children?

What do they do at naptimes?

What times do you open and close?

What's the staff turnover like? Are staff constantly leaving and new one's recruited? This was an issue at my DD's first nursery - just as she'd got used to a key person they'd leave and someone new would come in. She was so stressed because she didn't have a good bond with anyone there. I know its normal for staff to move on but this was excessive and really highlighted the fact that the company running the nursery just couldn't keep its staff and they weren't happy there. The one she's in now has only had a couple of changes in the last few years, one was a retirement and another lady went on maternity leave.

What provision do you have for preschool children to get them school ready - the first one we went to was rubbish with this and just more or less made sure your child was fed and watered and alive by the end of the day. The one she's in now is so much more proactive and really makes an effort to get to know each child's strengths and weaknesses and help them to develop towards being school ready.

How do you communicate with parents? Will they just give you a verbal report at the end of the day? Parent's evenings? My DD's nursery has an app called Tapestry and each parent gets a log in for their child and the staff can post pics and videos throughout the day and it has all the key stage indicators for the updates. Its so good. I'm really going to miss it when she starts school. Its a really good window into her day. AND I can post things we do at home so they can talk about them at nursery, and I can leave comments on the posts.

If you need any specific questions to the nursery I'd read through their latest ofsted report and see where they needed improvement and ask them about those things. Mine wasn't an outstanding ofsted grade and it was because they were keeping the children's blankets for the naps in the bed and sharing them. When I asked about the nap time arrangements they said each child now has their own blanket with their name on it that stays in their tray, so I knew they'd took on board the ofsted report and made changes.

That was a massive ramble... hope it helps someone! haha.

the only nursery near us charges £56 pounds a day for 8-6pm and no food included - that’s £280 a week!!!! I have no idea how anyone affords it :s I am starting to scout out childminders which should be cheaper.

My partner thought I was mad to start looking at childcare already but good to know I’m not the only one :D

If you're not going back to work, you don't need to panic about a nursery. Some people get government funding for childcare from age 2 and everyone gets 15 hours (or more) from age 3. That's the age when socialising with other children and starting to be independent away from home is thought to be important.

Your council will have a list of nurseries and childminders with their Ofsted ratings and probably a bit of blurb from each. Childminders are usually cheaper than nurseries as they have lower overheads. I'm a bit more rural (the clue's in the name) and only looked into childcare a few months after DD was born. We went with a childminder, which was the right choice for us but wouldn't suit everyone. I've asked her to look after no.2 when I go back to work.

@Emmasmum2013 this nursery uses the tapestry app too ☺️

I forgot to ask them about add on days I’ll email with that question.

It’s £71/day for the 7:30-6:30 day will nappies and food etc included. That’s pretty normal around here. We are very lucky that my Mum has offered to have the baby for three days a week which is a huge help for us so nursery will be two days a week.

Well that was an interesting afternoon, had my midwife appt at 3pm and i mentioned movements had been slightly reduced today, by 4.30 i was at the hospital on a monitor! Heartbeat fine and the movements i felt were ok but defo more spaced out than usual so got to go back for day monitoring at 2.30 tomorrow and will also have a scan! 😥 x

@Nikkil123 oh no I hope your baby’s okay. Don’t worry your in good hands. My baby hardly moves! If he kicks once a day I’m just happy as as long as I know he’s still alive and wriggling enough to kick! Please Keep us updated... I feel very nervous too as growth scan is tomorrow so fingers crossed everything is okay for both of us 🤞

Our car seat got delivered today and I only ordered it on Sunday! That's literally everything we need. If he arrived tomorrow we could theoretically cope. (We can't, please don't arrive yet!) We could do with some nappies - but they give you them in hospital here - and some more short sleeved vests which I will try to hold off buying but OMG. Whaaaaaaat?

We went to a hospital information evening tonight as well. I thought it was going to be a tour but it turned out to be a presentation which was hilarious because we probably understood 40% of it so DH spent the rest of the time making sarky comments about the photos. It looked really nice there though - check out the swirly ceiling of the birth pool room!

www.diak-ka.de/medizin-und-pflege/medizinische-einrichtungen/gynaekologie-und-geburtshilfe/geburtshilfe/waehrend-der-geburt.html

🤞🏻for you both tomorrow @NikkiL123 and @Gem173 (although I'm sure it'll all be okay.)

@BertieBotts it's been a long time since I spoke any German but I think that link is saying that the site can't be found? Swirly birthing pool ceiling sounds lovely though!! 😂

@NikkiL123 blimey you did have an eventful afternoon!!! Really hope you're ok today. I'm sure it'll be fine.

@Gem173 And you too, good luck for your scan.
I went for a growth scan when I was about 38 weeks in my last pregnancy and the sonographer was pissed off more than anything because she didn't really have much to go off in terms of telling me if the baby was growing ok. She just had a look and said everything looks fine! And had a moan about my midwife sending people for scans unnecessarily.

Thanks for the luck, @Emmasmum, I’m hoping that will happen to me And she will tell me that they send people unnecessarily. However I guess you never really know until you go. I’d rather see my baby again than worry about ifs and what’s :) plus my mums coming with me because oh can’t get time off so will be nice for her to see baby- she hasn’t seen him since we found out the gender at 16 weeks. I think I’m gunna be amazed at how big he is! Wish you get pictures at growth scans but I know at my hospital they don’t :(

@Bertiebotts
We are all set too :) if he came which I hope he doesn’t, then we would cope! Scary feeling isn’t it?!
I can’t see the pictures on the link but I’m sure they look interesting! I’m not bothering to go to the hospital to look round. Just gunna wing it 😂 and hope I go into the right place!

Good luck with scans today @Gem173 and @NikkiL123 x

Oh yeah how weird! The site seems to be down. Oh well, maybe it will work later.

I get a scan every time but at my last appointment I didn't get any pictures because the baby is too big to fit into a whole picture and his face was in the wrong position to get a face picture. So that might be why they don't do pictures at late scans. To be honest I think late scans are a little bit disappointing because it's hard to make anything out as you can only ever see things like an arm or shoulder at a time. 20 weeks is the most amazing one because they are so developed and yet you can see the whole baby.