Due in Sept '07 - part 5 - '.... Half Way to Heaven......?'

[Hopeitwontbebig]

Hope you all don't mind about the new thread. We've been AGONISING over the name

good luck for scans!

Penny sorry to hear you're still having trips to the hospital!

Edie great news about a new job for DP - that must be a relief!

Kinki - no i hadn't heard about competition and thats just what i need right now!

DP is still thinking of leaving. So things for me are generally pretty awful at the moment. If he goes i'll have no car! So maybe this competition will let something good happen in all this! He says he just doesn't think he loves me anymore.

Generally the pregnancy is going well - other than you guys i don't have anyone to share it with! I'm getting hip/stitch/cramp/back discomfort too - oh the joys!!!

DS has been really sweet - also impromptu kisses for the baby and he felt lo kick this morning!

Have a great weekend everyone - MIL is having DS so we can have some time to chat and i can rest - so i think i'm in for a quiet emotional one!

Fio Fio - you might be experiencing symphasis pubis disfunction (SPD). Hope not but if so there is lots of advice as to how to manage it around. It is where the ligaments at the front of your pelvis loosen and then the bones move against each other in a painful way.

On the bright side for those of us getting a stitch, last time round mine improved at the end of pregnancy.

working all weekend again - oh well someone has to......

Pennypops, sorry to hear you had another spotting episode , bloody nightmare. Know what you mean about all the prodding and pricking and poking! Good luck with trip to in-laws....Thinking of you. x

Chatty, so sorry to hear the situation with your DH doesn't seem to be improving. I have to say you sound remarkably strong under the circumstances.

Good luck kinki and Laksa for your scans today

x x x

Sorry to hear that things aren't great chattyhan, mine works away all week so this can be the only place I get to talk about being pregnant as well. By talk I mean grumble of course!

I've noticed that lots of you are having check-ups, why aren't I? My last one was in March and my next one is in June. Or am I being silly and you're all further along than me?

Hi guys,

I've only been away a week but am still trying to catch up with the thread! Got back from holiday late last night and had scan this morning, measurements are in the middle for everything so a very average, healthy baby.....girl!!

I am in shock as had convinced myself I was expecting a boy, dh is very pleased as he predicted the sex...umm he had a 50% chance of getting it right, he is very happy which surprised me as I thought all men wanted boys to follow in their footsteps but he says if he gets the girl into golf she will have less competition if she ever decides to go pro Yep, he is a little deranged...and doomed to disappointment but hey ho

I am in deep trouble now as have seen so many nice girls clothes and will have trouble restraining myself and I know that its pointless buying frilly, impractical stuff that won't be used often...help!

I have tried to catch up on everyone's news but have a memory which has gone awol...

Chatty, so sorry to hear things aren't so hot at the moment. Its shitty timing just when you need reassurance not uncertainty. Try to take each day as it comes and just be yourself, if your partner doesn't see the value in your relationship then it will be his loss as you sound lovely. Hope that doesn't sound patronising.

Mrs Mar, congrats on having a boy. We have the opposite problem and had decided on boys names fairly easily but are having loads of trouble thinking of girls ones.

Holly, I have no advice on the difficulties of newborns as i'm a first timer too. I am having a similar worry but mine is over breastfeeding. I read a book on it the other day and it has freaked me out as to how many problems can crop up, I don't know of anyone except my mum who found it easy and am a bit nervous that since I am having a homebirth, I won't have access to midwives in the following day or so to ask help from. What happens if I can't get the baby to latch on when the midwives leave after the birth??

HWBB and Pennypops, sorry you've been having worries spotting. Its horrible and so unnerving, hope it stops soon so you can relax a bit more.

Kinki, pmsl at your son. Good luck for todays scan.

Welcome Sophie!!

Okay if anyone has read this far, I am in need of advice. My dh spoke to his FIL on the phone the other day and apparently my MIL now wants to fly out (they live in southafrica) just after the birth to help and see the baby. I am not happy with this (we had agreed that we would fly out with new baby to see them when baby was about 5 months old), my dh has managed to postpone her till november when baby will be about 5/6 weeks old but I am still nervous as having someone to stay for 2/3 weeks in the house when I am probably going to be feeling and looking awful. Don't get me wrong I don't dislike my MIL but I don't really know her very well. Am I being silly? I don't want to deny her the joy of seeing her grandchild...

Sorry for such a long post

xx

Oh and to whinge some more...I will not be going surfing this weekend as have done my back in whilst on holiday...will not say how

laksa - thanks for the confidence boost!
soory you can't go surfing and congrats on the scan.

As for the inlaws if you're not happy with them coming then put your foot down - it's the last thing you need to be worrying about. Maybe suggest they just come for a week when the baby is 5/6 wks old or that you'll come to them and you'd rather they not come. Initially they maybe a bit put out but you can always blame it on the hormones. Say you want the early days to get used to being parents.

Seamonster - don't worry i haven't had many midwife appointments (just 2) my last was before easter and my next is june 11th. I haven't even met my midwife yet as she's been unavailable at my appointments.

hi laksa, have just read your post and wanted to say 'hi' and as a second timer advise you not to worry about newborns and breastfeeding. although i did have a rough time breastfeeding at first the midwives in the hospital were no help at all and i'd have been much more relaxed and happier to have been at home - a midwife will visit you daily after the birth and ime they're much more understanding and willing to spend time with you than rushed ward staff. not everyone has an issue with breastfeeding - you and your newborn might take to it like a duck to water so don't assume the worst. and i can guarantee you won't encounter all the possible problems! stick with it, talk to your midwife and if you get stuck get in touch with local breastfeeding counsellor (your book prob has contact numbers, if not do a search on mumsnet, one of the groups automatically diverts you from a central number to your local person).

as for newborns, they're pretty straightforward as they sleep so much! the things which gave us pause for thought but which are perfectly normal were - hairy ears (yes, it's normal), bandy legs (yes, normal, they've been a bit scrunched!) and very noisy breathing while asleep (yes, it might sound like they're struggling but apparently although we found it alarming, it's normal!). my other top tip would be to get dh to do the bathing (yup. i was too scared to do it for weeks not that i admitted that. said something about 'being involved from the beginning' and it paid off, 18 months later he's still number one bather!)

as for in laws, entirely up to you but by weeks 5/6 you'll prob have settled down into a bir of a routine (and dh be back at work?) and if they're the sort to cook, clean, shop, change nappies...send them my way! you can 'catch up on sleep' (or daytime tv in your bedroom/pedicure/haircut) while they're mucking in.

chattyhen sorry, been off mn for a while and reading down messages. sorry you're having such a rough time. i hope you do get to talk things over during the weekend and work something out.
look after yourself and do get some rest as well.

Had scan, all's well with the baby. And bringing up the rear (of the scans) is a little boy! Just to be different. Not a massive surprise for us, as it looked like it might be a boy at the 12 week scan. This is my 3rd ds and I'm quite chuffed.

Its been an awful day though, as me and dh had a massive arguement before we went to the hospital. I was crying lots and had very red, puffy eyes. This was very embarrassing as I work with the sonographers. There was a horrible atmosphere between me and dh in the scan room, tbh I didn't really want him there but he didn't leave me much choice. He really has ruined what should have been a special day for us. I really am not happy with him at all. I know some of you have got bigger stuff going on with dh/p's so I apologise for my little moan. I'm just sooooo pissed off with him.

Enjoy the weekend everyone!

Hi everybody!

Phew! long catch up!

I hope this weekend goes well chatty, and you and dp get some good talking done!

Sorry to hear about those with back problems/hip pain and so on. I really must be very lucky in having no problems or I'm storing up a humdinger for later on. I've had back problems my whole life, so this is a surprise to me. I really ought to take advantage of this and do some pilates before it's too late! Does anyone know of a pilates dvd that's good to use during pregnancy? As a grubby shift worker it's nigh on impossible to do classes as my shifts move about like crazy!

Great news about the new job for your dp Edie, that was quick!

Sorry to hear you won't be going surfing Laksa, but you can console yourself with the news the weather's going to be terrible this weekend! (I'm off to a soggy bbq in Chester, so I'll be packing my umbrella!) Is there anyway you can ask your ILs to come a few weeks later? Say perhaps at 10 weeks, to give yourself a chance to relax and unwind after those first few weeks? You probably think I'm mad but my ILs who both live abroad have absolutely no plans to come over before Christmas and meet their first grandchild, so even though I'd say 5 weeks might be too early, I'm a wee bit jealous!

I had a chat with a friend of mine last night who's a few weeks ahead of me, and she's got me thinking. I haven't read anything about birth or childcare. I haven't even thought about it, she told me she'd read loads of books and magazines before her first child, and she'd been to loads of NCT classes as well as her NHS antenatal classes. I feel I'm being perhaps a bit lackadasical (sp?) about this all, thinking that I'd just go with the flow when it happens. Is that a bit naive? I decided against NCT classes after a chat with a couple of friends and my sister, but I will go to my NHS ones. But apart from that I've done nothing to prepare for this, other than come on here and get loads of top tips from other mners. Should I be doing more?

One thing I have finally done, bought a cot and pushchair. Actually I should rephrase that, my lovely mother bought me a cot and pushchair. We went to Peter Jones yesterday, and she went in to control mode and took over asking all the right questions of the sales staff, which is just as well, as I was standing around like a clueless dummy! We bought a really lovely natural wood cotbed, with mattress and all the bedding, and a Bebe Confort Loola pushchair (which I'd had my eye on for a while) and while I wasn't looking she sneaked in a bought a load of blue sleep suits and paid for the lot! I love my mummy!!!

Anyway, I hope everyone has a lovely weekend, I'm working part of it (saturday)boo!!! But I'm off to see my friend in Chester on sunday for aforementioned soggy bbq!

xxx

Well if you can't moan to us kinki who can you moan to, sorry it has spoiled your day though

Blimey, forgot to congratulate on scans.. silly pregnancy brain!

Kinki - sorry to hear about your bust up with dp, I hope you sort it out soon. Congrats on the boy though!

Laksa and Rin, many congratulations on the girls! We'll have to start a names thread alongside our stats thread so those of us who can't think of names can get some inspiration!

Thanks Mrs F, trying to cheer up a bit now. Mrs M, I think I love your mummy too. She sounds fab! I've not got a mum anymore, so I love hearing stories like that. I expect she'll be a lovely granny/nan/grandma.

Thanks Mrs M.

oooh kinki don't say that, I feel awful now! Mine isn't terribly cuddly and mumsy, but she's great at getting stuff sorted generally being in control when I'm feeling a bit wobbly and feeble! You can borrow her any time

Gosh that didn't read right at all did it? I meant to say that's so sad about your mum Kinki, I'm so sorry, it made me go a bit teary hence my slightly off hand post!

Hi all, i still havent really done much in prep for this baby, i have bought a couple of new outfits and some pram sheets but other than that not a lot! Im hoping to get the maternity grant as dp is on a low wage so that should pay for a pram and im on the look out for some cheap furniture for her room. We already have the cot but im gagging to start decorating her nursery ready!
I have been getting a stitch when i walk too far but i think my spd is getting ready to make a reappearence! Hope everyone has a lovely w/end we are car hunting as ours has died and we are downsizing (even though family is increasing!) i just cant afford to run an estate anymore!

Sophie x

although, forgot to add... she won't be called granny/nan or anything that might age her (she's a bit feisty and we don't disagree with her - dad calls her the head fairy! )

Head fairy? Sounds cool! I did mean what I said, in that I really do, really really do love hearing stories about girls and their mums. No really I do. Please don't feel awful on my account! It was a lovely post you did. What a great shopping trip you must have had, I bet she would have enjoyed it just as much too. I don't get too down or miserable about missing my mum, maybe a bit nostalgic and thoughtful at what might have been at times. But she's with me every step of the way in other ways so that makes me happy. Does that sound a bit too cheesy?!? And thanks for the promise of a lend of you fabby mum.

Pilates dvd; try Lindsey Jackson's Pilates in Pregnancy. It looks quite cheap but is really good especially if you have a sore back. Obviously check with midwife first.
Midwife appointments; have realised its probably 'cos its my 4th and have not had any probs with any (v lucky I know) and its a home birth.Durr
Surfing? Blimey well done for being up for it!
Preperation? What preperation?

I am glad I didn't come across as too flippant kinki! You can borrow her any time, but I warn you, she's like hurricane Katrina, she'll rearrange your whole life before you've had a chance to draw breath!

I am glad I didn't come across as too flippant kinki! You can borrow her any time, but I warn you, she's like hurricane Katrina, she'll rearrange your whole life before you've had a chance to draw breath!

Hi all, congrats on the scans! I keep thinking about paying for a sexing scan too as my hospital refuse to tell you at the free 20-week scan, but then again it is lovely to have the surprise at the end...
A few replies... Laksa, can your in-laws stay in a hotel? I don't think you're being at all unreasonable to not want them to stay at that early stage - I certainly wouldn't! As for bf-ing, I totally agree with EnormousChanges about the midwives in hospital being no help. Well, they were some help initially, but my DD always unlatched herself about 3 seconds after the midwife left and then it was another half-hour for them to come back. So I really think that a local support group will be far more use to you - La Leche League or similar.
You know the best bit of advice I ever got about newborn feeding? Yes, breastfeeding is better for your baby, but it is far more important that you enjoy your early days with your baby and if ff-ing is what will allow you to do that, then that's what you should do. A midwife told me that and it was wonderful being sort of 'given permission' to ff, if you know what I mean.
Nicki10, I hear you on the big boob woes! I feel exactly the same about mine (though not about bf-ing). Actually, even if you did decide to try to bf, you might not be able to - despite everybody telling you that you can bf whatever size you are, I am convinced that my DD couldn't feed because I was too big. If they're supposed to take in the whole nippple and areola then my DD would've needed to dislocate her jaw, snake-style, to get it all in So really try not to stress about it - you are in charge of how you feed your baby and the midwives are there to support you with that. There was only me and one other woman bf-ing in our ward and I never once heard a midwife berating any of the ff mums. Just tell them it's a personal decision and I'm sure they'll butt out. If not, complain!
FioFio, I'm also wondering how much worse it's going to be in 3 months! I'm getting a stitch under my bump too, also sore varicose veins, swollen hands and feet, aching hips if I sit still for more than half an hour... I'm not even 6 months, what on earth is 8.5 months (in the middle of a hot summer!) going to be like?!