August 2018 #4

[bobcat85]

Thought I'd start up a new thread as the old one has run out of space.

Yes I had it with my first and has started earlier this time around, although it’s still bearable. Lots of info/exercises online and hopefully GP can get you a physio referral. Make sure you’re not standing on one leg and have your weight spread evenly on two feet. Sleep on your side with a pillow betweeen your knees. And keep your knee safe together when getting out the car, bath, etc. Towards the end I had to take stairs one step at a time, and then eventually on my bum! Hope you’re not in too much discomfort xx

@BertieBotts I got a baby bath last time and barely used it. I used a bath support instead. DS1 also seemed to prefer it as he was more supported
Also, just in case you have a history of smaller babies in the family (ie less than 8lb) most slings aren't suitable. I learned this with my 6lb 3oz DS. The caboo is suitable for the smaller ones. Also, a sling library is useful to go and try some out once the baby is born so I'd recommend seeing if there's one in your area and going once LO is here.
I also found baby nail clippers easier to use than scissors (and OMG it is so scary the first time you cut their nails).

Hospital bag list from what I remember...
Mums bag:
Button up nighties x2
Dark towels (for shower after)
Wet toilet tissues
Slippers
Big dark knickers x5
The biggest, fattest maternity pads I could find (the padding helps with sitting down)
Phone charger
Kindle
Comfy maternity clothes for going home - I had maternity jogging bottoms and a tshirt
Shampoo/shower gel/toothpaste/toothpast/deodorant.
Water bottle
Snacks (flapjack bars) - I had a short labour so had also packed jelly sweets and glucose sweets which never got eaten.

Things I wouldn't take this time - dressing gown (hospitals are so hot), flip flops for the shower.

Baby's bag - pack of size 1 nappies, wipes (we used water wipes), nappy bags, a few vests and sleepsuits, baby hats (although the hospital gave us one), muslins x2, going home outfit (a nice sleepsuit is my suggestion), if you have memory cards take the "welcome to the world" and "going home " ones.

Dad should also have a bag with a spare change of clothes, book, camera, cash for vending machines (mums get meals, dads don't), phone charger.

I can't think of anything else but am sure my list was longer last time.

Yeah I don't really see us using the baby bath but DH was insistent so on the list it went! We can't really wash ours in the sink as we have boilers directly above providing the hot water so it wouldn't be safe.

I'll probably use the wrap sling again for the new born bit because I loved it before but DH wanted a more structured one too so we'll probably use both as baby gets a bit bigger.

Scissors is sort of shorthand at this point for some kind of cutting device lol

I’ll post my hospital bag list when I’m in work tomorrow, it’s saved on my PC :)

I am another one who doubts I will use a baby bath and frankly have nowhere to store it! Mothercare do what looks like a baby deck chair for £10 and it's just towelling material on a frame to support them in the full bath.
I'm going to get one of those as it's so much smaller and practical.

The most useful thing I found was to write a list of everything I took with me in the hospital bag and where abouts it is e.g side pocket etc. Then gave it to my husband, then if I needed anything I could get him to refer to the list to find it.

Also I put baby's clothes in zip lock bags and labelled them so I know what size and if they were vests, sleepsuits etc...

The most useful things I found were:

• Cooling spray, great for boiling maternity wards.
• Hand fan.
• Slippers.
• Lots of maternity pads, more than you think you'll need. I found the Boots ones really good.

Ooh and a baby app (or pen and paper) to keep track of feeding/nappy changes etc. Midwives ask all the time when they last fed etc and in my sleep deprived emotional haze I could never remember...

Also for baby (when Home) - two sponges (one for face, one for body), and a stash of yellow metanium (works wonders on treating nappy rash).

OMG DH had a hilarious skype with PIL.

DS's hair is too long. That must immediately be cut. They couldn't work out the ultrasound scans at all. A space themed nursery is only for boys and we can't possibly do it if we have a girl. My bump got a round of applause and a "Well done!" And then DH told them one of the names on our shortlist to which they said oh no we don't like that, hmm, what about David, yes, David will do.

So our child is called David and will be having a rainbow cupcake themed nursery

Lol @BertieBotts that sounds hilarious.

I Had my 16 week midwife appt. everything went fine. Midwife can feel my womb now below my belly button. Said I should feel kicks between 20-22 weeks. Said I won't be ballooning out till 30+weeks as I have good tummy muscles. All blood tests, swabs etc came back normal. And blood pressure is normal. Nothing else really to report. Got 20 week scan on April 11th, got 24/25 week midwife appt on 9th may and whooping cough vaccine same time :)

Midwife did call me a child aswell, she then said ‘we have lots of pregnant children here recently’. I kinda got angry but didn’t show it, I made a point that I work full time, am engaged and rent a flat with my oh. She quickly changed the subject.

Hahaha @BertieBotts, are your PIL my Mum???
What is it with them not being able to work out the US scans? Mine was labelled 'head' and 'legs' and my mum still needed help to be shown what was where! I told her that if its a girl we were thinking either Eliza or Isabel. She looked like I'd just farted in her face.

@Gem173 I'd have said something like "why am I classed as a child?"
There seems to be a very small window between "child" and 'geriatric".

Here's my maternity bag and I've marked on what I'm not bothering with this time. I can't really give quantities of how much to bring because I don't know how long a stay in hospital will be. Can always send someone for more if needed:

For baby:
Sleep suits
Vests
Scratch mitts - don't bother with these - they just fall off. Get sleep suits with fold over sleeves.
Bibs
Pack of baby wipes - avoid Johnson's - brought baby out in a little rash. Aldi sensitive Mamia ones are amazing.
Cotton wool balls - don't need these if you've got wipes
Nappies - large pack, first size
Nappy sacks
Going home outfit - just leave it in the sleep suit and vest? Last one was a winter baby so we got it a snow suit/coat thing.
Car seat - obviously just leave it in the car, no idea why this was on list.
Baby towel - Hospitals have towels and baby towels are a con. They're tiny and useless. Just use normal towels.
Cardigans - Don't need this. The vests and sleep suits are plenty.
Blanket
Muslin squares

For me
Pyjamas
Slippers
Dressing gown
Tissues
Maternity pads - lots.
Small and big towel - hospitals have towels. You will bleed on them. They don't care.
Disposable knickers - I actually got some big bridget jones style pants in black and a bigger size and they were perfect.
Nursing bras - Didn't nurse so didn't need this.
Breast pads
Shampoo & conditioner
Shower gel
Shower Poof
Moisturiser
Makeup - Only brought a bit of concealer and mascara for if I felt up to it, or was there a long time.
Coming home clothes and shoes
Lip balm
Hair brush
Bobbles
Deodorant
Socks
Snacks and drinks - this seems unnecessary to me now. Can always send DH to the shop if you need to.
Bikini if water birth - glad I packed this.
Toothbrush
Toothpaste
Bendy straws - Thought I would lose the use of my arms somehow?? I think I had images in my head of DH gently allowing me to sip on some water while I pushed...
Sinex - I always need a decongestant

Things to remember on the day - these were mainly for DH if he got bored while I was in labour or if I ended up staying a long time.
Phones
Charger
Kindle
iPad and earphones
Maternity notes

Hope that helps!! :)

@Emmasmum2013 Love the name options. 😍

@samb1979
I had this with my last pregnancy, but only later on. ? I think I started with it at about week 30.. I actually asked for an induction at my 38 week appointment because I was so fed up with it. And by the time I gave birth it was difficult for me to get up the stairs :(
All my midwife said when I told her was "try and keep your legs closed". To which I responded "What, now? Or 9 month ago?" She didn't even laugh!

So yeah, my advice is try and keep your legs closed (now, haha). Don't sit cross legged, don't push yourself to do something if it hurts.. I think you can have physio exercises for it as well. Take some painkillers if you need to. And make sure you manage the pain after birth as well. If you're not breastfeeding you can take some cocodamol and ibuprofen if you need it.

I remember a few days after birth I was having a lie down in bed, went to get up and promptly fell back onto the floor. I just couldn't support my own weight. So I went to the hospital and they just said "well you did just give birth.. take some painkillers and rest". None of this advice is given to you when you leave the hospital. I just assumed I'd be back to normal immediately since I didn't have a c section or anything. But I wasn't. Just take it easy and don't let it stress you out :)

I seem to have childbirth on my mind a lot at the moment and from doing research (mainly on MN ) I've realised that the birthing mother actually has a lot more rights then I thought. You have the right to not give you consent for a procedure etc. (obviously the baby being delivered safely is always priority).

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/childbirth/2140299-C-section-or-Kiellands-forceps

An example of one the threads I found very informative. I will be discussing my issues with midwife and consultant and making it very clear that I will not consent to Kiellands forceps and to just bring me the c section consent forms to sign. Will have it in my birth plan and will ensure my husband is fully on board and aware so no one can take advantage of my vulnerable state in labour and try to talk me into something. Some hospitals won't use this type of forceps any more so it may not be an issue but I need to check.

Another thread I read but I cannot find now a woman was in labour for over 30 hours, they kept examining her and it was very painful for her. Labour not progressing they kept wanting to fiddle and the resounding advice she got was "don't consent to anything you don't want, tell them you want a c section". You can ask for your Bishops score which tells you how favourable your cervix is. If it's 6 or below your labour isn't going to progress well. Hers was 2 or 3 I think so that's why she was urged to push for the c section. She had to fight a bit but she got it. I'll post it if I can find it.

Anyway just posting these for info really as I feel forewarned is forearmed and I myself wouldn't have a clue about any of this stuff.

@emmasmum we were thinking Eliza for a girl too! Hope you don’t mind! Boy we like Lincoln or Caleb xx

Anyone else wondering where the glow and extra energy of the 2nd trimester is hiding. I'm just getting more and more exhausted! :( x

@Gem173 - not at all! Its a lovely name :) If its a boy we're going for Jamie George- it was going to be DD's name if she'd been a boy. So we only have to decide a girls name this time.

@SpriteGirl - I made a comprehensive birth plan last time and I don't think one person in the hospital looked at it. All I got asked was what I wanted to do after I'd given birth (have baby put straight on me, or cleaned up and cord cut first. I opted for the former but then the cord was too short!), and if I wanted the vit k injection..

They tried to do all kinds to me in labour which I refused. They wanted to cut me, which I refused as I'd read that healing from a natural tear is much easier (I didn't even tear in the end so it was unnecessary). They wanted to put a catheter in me because they said my bladder was full and I refused.

They wanted to put a drip in me with induction drugs to get things moving faster. I asked could I please just try on my own for a bit longer. They said ok and they'll review in an hour - she was born 45 mins later.

Don't just go with whatever they say! Their job is to make sure you and baby have as healthy a birth as possible.. but sometimes they can get a bit over zealous with the stuff they feel is 'necessary'. If you don't want something.. ask if you can skip it.

@Emmasmum2013 I appreciate a birthing plan will just go out the window. However writing it down means me and my husband know, and I can wave it in their face in anger if I need to 😆.

Thanks for info on being cut, someone else on MN also refused being cut and didn’t tear in the end anyway. Interesting also about the catheter - how did you know you didn’t need it ?

Honestly without reading all this stuff I would probably had just gone along with whatever they said because I would’ve assumed “they know best”.

@SpriteGirl re the catheter - I just didn't feel like I needed a wee! They said "we think your bladder is full and maybe baby is a bit stuck so we're going to put a catheter in" And I thought well it doesn't feel full so, no. I thought if I need to pee I can do it on a pad or something.. no need for a catheter. I soon learned as well that as soon as you have a contraction they back off and just let you push. So whenever they were getting a bit too much I'd go "ooh another one!" Haha.

I think the reason everything had slowed down and they were getting a bit worried that I wasn't progressing was because I'd had some diamorphine. It had made me really sleepy and it had slowed labour down. Once it had worn off, they said they wanted to do the induction drip, that was like a wake up slap in the face for me. I knew I had to concentrate and really focus on getting baby out. So I asked can I try for a bit more by myself and I'm glad I did.

Thank you at @Emmasmum2013 for sharing. Very useful info.

@Beanmama I feel the same, everytime I get up I feel 100 times heavier when I walk :( and I’m still getting up early and going to bed about 10pm. So having energy in the evening is like praying for pigs to fly.

YY to feeling heavy and I'm noticing that I must use my stomach muscles a lot to get up which is really painful all of a sudden! Also got lots of cramps earlier when lying in bed for too long so I decided to get up and do something active (filled the dishwasher!) and eat something nutritious. Thanks baby, making me productive instead of lazy

Something I found incredibly useful from NCT courses last time was the acrostic to use your "BRAIN". It basically means if they want to do anything to you in pregnancy/labour you're not sure about it gives you a list of questions to run through.

What are the Benefits?
What are the Risks?
Are there any Alternatives? What are they?
What does my Instinct say?
What happens if we do Nothing/wait?

Most things in labour are not a life or death emergency - if it is they wouldn't faff about waiting for consent and discussing it with you, they would just do it and defend themselves later. So if they are willing to discuss, you have time and you have options.

Hi Ladies.... sorry showing total ignorance here but what are the differences between maternity pads and sanitary towels? Where would you even look for them on a supermarket aisle? Anyone recommend a specific brand/size?x

Maternity pads are thicker and can cope with more blood, but seem to absorb slower (I think sanitary pads can "wick" away too much moisture) and sanitary towels can tend to have more chemicals in them so they can irritate you more.

Some people find they get on better with night time maxi pads especially after the first couple of days but maternity pads are basically recommended to start with because they are specifically designed for the very heavy flow, plus the thickness is quite comforting if you're feeling sore.

They are often with the other sanitary products but can be hard to find, sometimes closer to the nappies/baby things. Boots/Superdrug have a better selection. I don't think they have different sizes and the brands are much of a muchness.