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Connect with mums-to-be with similar due dates to share experiences and support.

Due in June - am I unreasonable to expect the nanny to give birth for me?

984 replies

hollyandalice · 19/04/2007 21:21

Chicks???

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
bumperlicious · 22/04/2007 17:59

God, I've been wearing legging for ages, don't know what I would have done without them! They are so comfortable, and look kinda cool if you are going for that 16 year old Peaches Geldof look! And as I may have mentioned before I actually have a jersey material maternity catsuit from H%M, as well as a fab black jersey maternity dress. Both from ebay, and are the sort of clothes that you just would never wear if not pg but actually look pretty cool when you are in a kind of everyone-look-at-my-bump kinda way. I'm living in the dress at the moment (dressed down with a little cardi) but not sure I will ever actually go out somewhere where I might wear the catsuit. But DH loves in anyway so maybe I'll just wear it while I'm sitting and watch sex and the city!

riabutterflew · 22/04/2007 18:07

I am about 6 times the size of Peaches Geldof!!! (and would be VERY scary in a catsuit...)
Must go and do that ironing.

Daisybump · 22/04/2007 18:08

I bought a jersey dress from funmum...but looked awful in it...but I am short and lumpy anyway and it just made me look lumpier. It was back oin the days when I was about 20 weeks...it might look great now.....leggings I do have and wear, but never in public...women my age just shouldn't, and I've not reached the age yet of leggings with stirrups....which are OK if you're over 50.

Not sure about how I'd look in a catsuit though

bumperlicious · 22/04/2007 18:15

I'm quite lucky in that I am petite (read: short!) and currently 'all bump' (which I don't bloody deserve to be the amount I've been eating - pg must have uped my metabolism as usually I only have to look at chocolate to put on weight). Scary thing is now, at 7.5 months pg I weight the same as I did in my second year of uni!

btw, sorry if tmi, but DH has just started perineal massage on me. Hopefully it'll reduce the chances of having an episiotomy. Only done it a few times, but apparently (for us newbies) its good to do the stretching to get used to the feeling of being stretched 'down there'. It does smart a little be already but I'm hoping that a little short term pain will pay off in the long term. Bless him, he's been reading how to do it on the web somewhere. Anyway, I would definitely recommend it if your DP/H's are willing (for mine it's the closest he's getting to any action so he's making the most of it!)

bumperlicious · 22/04/2007 18:18

I've also found that as the bump's grown out it's kinda stretched my love handles with it, narrowing my hips a little. Obviously once the bub is out will look like a marshmallow that's had it's insides all sucked out! Mmmm...marshmallows, I knew I should have bought some while I was shopping today - they're fat free you know (we don't count the mountains of sugar in them!)

hollyandalice · 22/04/2007 18:24

I was thinking about leggings, but it's prob a bit late now to start buying more clothes. I think I'm just young enough to get away with them, though I would only wear them under a dress, the thought of my arse in leggings is just frightening!!

The boys have gone, hooray!! I don't think dp is really talking to me, but maybe it's because he super stressed out because I've been a miserable cow for most of the day!! Most of it I have spent upstairs crying or sleeping! They have left me with a gigantic pile of washing up , now do I just do it and be done with it or leave it for dp to do? Oh the decisions! I am now on full relax mode...trackie bottoms, watching Simpsons and eating breadsticks and dip! Brilliant!

When I took RLT last time I think I took 4 tablets a day, one with each meal and one before bed. You do need a lot. Maybe you could buy 2 pots of RLT and get something else useful free. Maybe some Arnica for afterwards!

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hollyandalice · 22/04/2007 18:27

Lol at your dh doing massage on you bumper, that's brilliant! I couldn't do it because I can't bear for my dp to touch that area as it is all tingly due to scar! Also he'd think he was getting lucky, which is so not going to happen! Does anyone else feel a bit guilty about not putting out? I think my dp is going to explode soon, poor love! Sorry if tmi there!!

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bumperlicious · 22/04/2007 18:29

Oh yeah, I only wear leggings with long smock tops or dresses. I have an arse to rival my bump. Like you H&A I am just about young enough to get away with them. Tbh, I've got to a point where i don't care what anyone else thinks, I'm just wearing what i can fit into! Fortunately my work doesn't have a dress code so I can wear what i like.

bumperlicious · 22/04/2007 18:32

Don't feel guilty at all! DH is excited about the fact that getting jiggy may be required to kick start labour and I just said, yeah fine, but you'll probably just have to get yourself going, all I need is the magic sperm to induce labour! Sorry, that definitely was tmi!

catsuitgirl · 22/04/2007 18:34

Phew, just taken over half an hour to read everything.

Ria: leggings are cool. It's official. But if you find yourself looking at some with stirrups, say NO

Holly, sound like a nightmare. But I agree with the others who said your DH needs to wake up a bit. He needs to be a father to these boys and that means teaching them how to be good people as well as having fun with them. The boys are obviously desperate to get his attention - I woudln't be surprised if deep down that's the reason for the bed wetting, the outbursts, the generally being terribly behaved; it gets them noticed, even in a bad way. If your DH makes it clear that he won't tolerate it, but gives them loads of attention when they're good, might that help? I would have a really long chat with him, but in a few days, when the boys have gone, when everything is calm. Get him to see it not just from your point of view, but from the boys' point of view. What sort of relationship does he want with them going forward? What sort of people does he want them to be? If you prod him, gently, he might realise himself what he needs to do?

And Bump, at your DH giving you a massage... have got the oil myself, and was going to give it a go but not sure I can reach, so DH might be in for a treat too...

Hello everyone else and hope the flatness is replaced by sun and smiles tomorrow. Personally I burst into tears last night because DH drove my car and told me he was shocked by the state of it (my lack of housework extends to my car ). Cue quiverring lips, then full scale sobs for ten minutes. Luckily I saw the funny side an hour or so later, but only when DH had admitted that he had been very mean, completely unnecessarily, and that my car is absolutely beautiful both inside and out

hollyandalice · 22/04/2007 18:38

ROF & PMSL!!!! That's a great idea bumper. Maybe he could sort of deposit into a syringe and you could completely avoid the deed! Don't tell him that the sperm is more effective if swallowed than on your cervix. Unfortunately dp was with me when I read the article stating this fact and he never shut up about it! I was way more randy when pg with dd than I am this time! With this one I can hardly bear to be touched let alone do it!

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hollyandalice · 22/04/2007 18:42

I know he needs to wake up and smell the coffee a bit catsuitgirl! He is a bit useless unless things are spelt out to him, well he is a man after all. I don't really want to keep on though as am feeling a bit emotional and it will just end up crying! Lol at your messy car though! It's horrible when just about anything sets you off on an emotional rollercoaster.

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catsuitgirl · 22/04/2007 18:56

Oh, totally agree, say nothing now. Look after yourself a bit. Can't remember who said it was hard being around strangers/anyone who isn't close family, but I totally agree. At home, with DH and the cat, I'm fine. Take me out of my little cocoon and it all starts to go down hill... SOunds like you need to recuperate. A hot bath and the rest of the Dorittos??

hollyandalice · 22/04/2007 19:07

I just ate a whole pack of roasted garlic and caramelised red onion breadsticks, now I have hb!! It was worth it though, they were yummy!!

I love being in my little cocoon with my little precious girl and my dp. I wish it could be like that all the time!

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derlor · 22/04/2007 19:16

FFS will you lot STOP chatting and let me catch up!!!!!!!!!!!!
i've been dipping in and out all afternoon whilst trying to sort out children and tea and stuff. EVERY time i think i've nearly got to the top i press refresh and at least another 10 messages appear!!! serioulsy though makes me realise what a lovely supportive bunch you all are and i'm glad to be part of it - come over all emotional now so slinks off for a cry
bathtime for the LO's so probably try to join in again in about an hour - (make that 2 after i catch up again!!!!!!!)

Dontknowmyarsefrommyelbow · 22/04/2007 19:21

Bloody Hell! I've missed so much!

H&A - I felt very sad reading about your very stressful last couple of days with DP boys, and to be honest I felt a little guilty cos I was once a teenage kid with a step mum. And yes, I too behaved like a total brat.

All I can say H&A is that their behaviour and outbursts at you probably have very little to do with you at all. It's far more likely that they are (as I was) struggling to deal with their situation and the fact that they are teenagers with hormones that make you act like a prick.

Sounds also, from the bed wetting thing that they are psychologically not very happy boys, as bed wetting is not done on purpose. They probably don't clean it up because they try to pretend it never happened?

At the end of the day - you cannot influence this situation - and If I was in your position (knowing what I know about how I was with my step mum) the best thing you can do is step back - detatch yourself from it (and the stress) and hope to god your DP steps up and takes control.

These boys will always be a part of your DP's life - just as - if anything happened to you (god forbid) your LO's would always be a part of his life regardless of who he was with.

If the situation is totally unbearable and showing no signs of getting better I would defo recommend family therapy (not wanting to sound like a tree hugger!) - there are people out there who are trained and skilled in helping to make situations like yours much easier.

Ok, nuf said, infact I have prob said way too much, I defo do not want to cause offence and I hope I haven't. Just want to try to help.

derlor · 22/04/2007 19:25

OK dh starting bath time so i'll just say a little bit quickly
Holly - BIG hugs to you for your shitey weekend of teenage boy hell. there are drugs that can be taken for bedwetting you know - i'll give you more info if you want.
Catsuitgirl -FAB new name, i'm loving it and feel VERY boring compaired to you!!
Daisy - at the effort you have made in your garden prior to your HV visit on thurs - especially given the fact that i had to climb over a washing machine last week to get into a flat to see one of my gymslip mums!!! believe me that is not the worst!!! (wish i was your HV)
my brain has turned to mush and i can't remember anything else i wanted to say!!
back soon x

riabutterflew · 22/04/2007 19:31

Has not taken me all this time to do the ironing - DH came in just as i was reading the bit about swallowing semen so I had to get off the page sharpish. I DO NOT FEEL GUILTY RE NO BEDROOM GYMNASTICS. It's not as if he gets BH/HB/piles/morning sickness/stretch marks etc etc so a little underpant tension is only fair.

DH actually did bathtime tonight - there is bloody foam everywhere and DS2 has been yelling for about 20 minutes! Oh the joys of shared parenting.

hollyandalice · 22/04/2007 19:40

Thanks DKMAFME! I don't take offence, honestly! I welcome everyone's opinions! It's good to hear what everyone thinks! Thanks for the advice, I think I'll try and take a back seat a bit more from now on, getting involved just stresses me out!

What are these drugs called derlor? Maybe I could buy some and slip them in his drinks ! His mum has taken him to the dr twice about it and was told there's nothing they can do. He does it at home as well, so I don't think it's an attention thing. I don't know, I suppose I'll just have to put up with it!

Just found some Caramel Chew Chew Ben & Jerry's in the freezer! Brilliant!

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riabutterflew · 22/04/2007 19:49

DH is dong active parenting - it's dead funny. Nearly put me off my ebaying!!!

Lucky you holly, wish I had B&Js in the freezer. Am off out to buy some crisps soon though.

Dontknowmyarsefrommyelbow · 22/04/2007 19:55

LOL at lack of bedroom action!

I admit that I am a bit of a bedroom whore and am very put out at the fact that my DH is way too frightend to touch me!
I think he thinks I'll pop?!

He promised me last night that I will get some action tonight - so I might not be on here too long!!! But I am thinking he is only doing it as some sort of mercy mission! because he feels sorry for me!!!!

Ok, I know I am not normal on this one, I am sure I have the sex drive of a man! And DH has the sex drive of a woman!?

hollyandalice · 22/04/2007 20:04

LOL dkmafme! Usually I am a bit of a randy minx and dp is a bit take it or leave it! Now though I can't stand the thought of it and he is gagging for it! At least I know that he still thinks I'm sort of sexy! He must be blind!

Just found this website whilst I was looking for the one that I read about swallowing semen! It says to put Evening Primrose oil on your cervix ! How the hell do you do that?!

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riabutterflew · 22/04/2007 20:11

I don't expect DHs parenting to extend to bedtime, so this might be me for tonight too.

He said I looked exceptionally nice (compliment I think) earlier so suppose I should spend some quality time with him tonight (not to mention it's the new Stephen Fry drama on ITV. I love him. Not in a Clarkson way.)
Might drop by later so I don't have so much to catch up on tomorrow.

Have a good evening all.

Dontknowmyarsefrommyelbow · 22/04/2007 20:17

Love that link H&A!
But I'm thinkin the same...... How do you massage your cervix? Surely you'd need some kind of instrument?

Just reminded DH that tonight is his lucky night and tried to show of my skills by simulating a very active blow job on the ice lolly I was enjoying - but it was very cold and didn't look very sexy!!!! He has just PHSL at me! Hmmm..... not the reaction I was looking for!!

NattyThomasandBump · 22/04/2007 20:19

i lost you!
thought everyone was busy and that was why there was no replys on thread b4.
my god its all go here, i have bought NOTHING for ellen(bump), so tomorrow will be buying everything with hubbys wages.
tax credits cut our money again, this time to a tenner a week (down from 50) and we are really feeling the strain. seems to be a cock up on thier side so hopefully we will get a back payment, else we are going to be so brasic for the next month. perfect timing as usual, dont you love the govenment.
tom turned one couple of weeks ago, and is growing up so fast im glad i have another one to look forward to!
how is everyone feeling? i feel awful all the time and i keep having those braxton hicks's but they are really painful this time. almost full blown contraction pain, i wont be surprised if she isnt a few weeks early, mums 2nd was born 3 weeks early so its in the family i suppose.
how is everyone else for the essentails? im picking my pram up tuesday woo hoo, exciting!

love to all

N&T&B(E lol)

xxx