Due in June - am I unreasonable to expect the nanny to give birth for me?

[hollyandalice]

Chicks???

Tell DP to pass them round.

Bit mean of him really, standing out there smoking when we're all on here unable to!

Maybe suggestive seeds could be sown that he might not want to come visit so much in future cos he's 15 and will have his own friends and life etc.....? And shouldn't he have a weekend job or something!?!

I don't really think he knows what to do. I feel like a cow now for moaning at them, but they really do my head in. I feel sorry for dp as well being in the middle.

hmmm, smart girl that Catkin.... good idea

Hopefully he will stop coming so much soon, but I think it's more his mum wanting to get them all out of her hair. She is going to have a field day with this one. I bet she'll stop dp seeing them for a while.

Don't feel bad!! It's him being unreasonable - not you! You can feel sorry for your DP but he also has to take some responsibility.

Ok, bossiness over!

But they are his children not yours! They are behaving badly to each other and disrespecting you. In your own home.

With all due respect Lovely Holly, I doubt you are going to be the one able to bring them into line.

I know, but I know that dp feels that he only sees them once a fortnight he tries to have fun with them and not tell them off all the time. I've spoken to him about it before and he's said he'll try and sort it out, but he never does. Maybe i'll start staying at my parent's when they're here.

Sorry foxy, you were going to bed! Sorry for moaning at you! Sorry to you as well catkin!

Don't worry Holly.

I'm trying to think of something positive to say to you, but am struggle.

If I'm honest I want to tell you that DP needs to lay down the law IMHO and tell them how he expects them to behave in his and your home ...

Do they know they can get away with things and do they take the piss because of it?

struggling, obviously.

with typing too, it seems.

Don't be sorry - We're happy to listen and support you!!

I understand that your DP is in a very difficult position but maybe he needs to realise that he has to balance out all the lovely fun stuff with some discipline if the boys are out of line. Their behaviour will only get worse if they are allowed to get away with it! Which is really unfair on you and Alice.

Do you think they feel threatened by the new baby?

I think their mum treats them like babies there fore they expect the same treatment here. I am not prepared to let them wet the bed, wee all over the toilet seat, leave crumbs everywhere, tread mud through the house etc. without expecting them to clean up after themselves (or just not do it in the first place)! I know they're kids and that's what kids do, but they are not babies and are perfectly capable of wiping their own arses, IYSWIM!

Apart from the bed wetting which is its own issue, I fear that she is doing what my MIL did for my DP - absolutely everything. They still take her for granted.

Book a cleaner for every other Monday.

That's what badly behaved, disrespectful kids do. You're entirely within your rights to expect more from them!

Maybe they do feel threatened by the new baby, but it's only going to get worse. We are going to need the room they sleep in for Alice so the new baby can have the small room. They are going to have to sleep on blow ups on the living room floor. I don't know if they realise this yet and I don't think it'll go down too well.

Do they disrespect their mother and their own home like that?

It makes me so mad that these mothers are so irresponsible in bringing up boys like that. Even for my generation, there's still a massive gap between the sexes. If my 4 yo can put the fucking toilet seat down his dad bloody well can!

Its all in the training.

Shit, Holly. You are going to have 3 teenage boys sleeping in your living room

I know catkin, they are disrespectful, to me and their dad and to each other. Some of the things the eldest says to the middle one are awful. He gets really upset and gets bullied at school as well, I feel really sorry for him. He is a lovely boy, almost always well behaved and kind. The other two are just plain nasty to him.

Yeah I know, in a room where there is a tv, an xbox and a pc! Dp wants the new baby to go in their room and for them to share when they come down! I can't even begin to explain to him why that wouldn't work so I just said "No farking way"!!

do they ever come one at a time?

Perhaps if they did every so often they'd get DP to themselves once in a while, and it might take the pressure off.

3 teenagers and a baby?
HHHeeeeellllllooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you go out with Alice tomorrow, is there any way you would take the middle one with you? Kind of an acknowledgement of his good behaviour and a blatant 'fuck off' to the other two!!