Due in April 2007 - Friday 13th brought 5 more babies, and yes, one was for Eddas!

[EllieKthePA]

Ellie, can you add him to the BC later if he proves to be a good dad? Just wondering as I know nothing about the legalities of that sort of thing. At least his parents are reasonable and you can talk things through with them. I assume you'd never let Justin take Joe off anyway, even if he does get the car sorted out?

Ooooh - how exciting - both Liath and Pesha contracting - two more bubbas today perhaps??

I am absolutely FUMING with DH - I've been incredibly tired this PM; trying hard not to fall asleep since about 8pm (I don't sleep well if I fall asleep before about 10.30pm) - I sent him out to go and pick up a TENS machine from my friend's house about 8pm, have been dozing on the bed and I just got up to find him at the computer HAVING NOT BLOODY GONE OUT YET!!!! What is wrong with him!!!!!? My friend has children and I just feel it is rather later to be going round there now, but he has gone anyway - He practicially ran out of the house - Could probably see how fuming I was .....

ARGH!!!!

no, have agreed with his parents that Joe will be dropped by me at their house or they will collect him from me so Justin will not take him anywhere.

have just started a thread asking about adding him on later.

with matthew it was before the change in the law so his dad went on cert and then last year when i felt he had 'proved' himself i signed the parental respons. forms to show i appreciated it.

No - you can't add him at a later date - he needs to be put on the BC now or not at all, I believe. Are you going to put him on it? I don't think he should have any say over Joe's name personally - he hasn't been there for you at all during this PG and you have no guarentee he is going to start taking responsibility now Joe has actually arrived. I'd burn your bridges, but that is just me .....

at Dippy's DH for her

If you feel he doesnt deserve the rights yet then might be best to leave him off. Dont know if he can be added onto BC later but he can apply for parental responsibility later if he proves himself to be a good committed dad.

Sorry. Did that sound too harsh!!?

X posting with everyone and by time i post everything i say has already been said anyway!

that's my thoughts too Dippy, and at the moment his mum feels the same but as she is step-mum and his dad is away til weds she feels i should speak to him.

just don't want Joe to come back later in life and say i shouldn't have done that.

isn't it still frowned upon to have 'father unknown'?

don't worry Pesha, still good to hear it from lots of diff. places!

Is that what they put or do they just leave it blank?

Most of me would think sod him (or prob worse!) but I do think sometimes pregnancy has very little reality to men and they can change their attitude once they spend time with a real little person they can see and hold and it can be a big wake up call. Then again they can just carry on being an arse! Or do what dds dad did and be a seemingly good commited dad pre birth and then turn out to be a total arse afterwards!!

this is the official advice

i don't understand it!
does that mean we can add him on?

Yeah that looks to me like you can and no mention of any time limit ie within so many months/years of birth. Id ring registry office tomorrow just to be sure but from looks of that link you can. Which would seem to me to be the ideal solution, you can wait till he's earnt the right to be on it.

Looks like you can re-register Joe's birth at a later date if you wish to (I think).

They just leave it blank - and I don't think it would be frowned on at all - understandable considering the circumstances. My friend was cross with her XDP when she went to register their little girl's birth, so she left him off and has been told he can't be added now .....

I'm not sure.

Yes, perhaps you should wait and speak to Justin's dad; but I really do honestly think that it is completely up to you Ellie honey - He does really have a leg to stand on. Depends how generous you feel tbh!!

What do YOU want?????

You can re-register within the 1st year.

i think i should just say f@@k him and do it on my own

did i tell you that after the gf thing the other morning she then turned up to collect him? despite me saying that was not to happen. his smum is furious!

@ gf Ellie!! I agree - f%$k him!!

still leaves the question of whether to add in david to his name?

would maybe placate the missing him off cert issue?

If he can be added on at a later date then I think, well if i were you, i would say fuck him and do it without him, do what you want safe in the knowledge that if he does miraculously become a decnt father you can put him on if you want to.

If he cant be added on (although from looking at that link and reading the application form im pretty sure he can be) i would still be tempted to say fuck him and leave him off but I think i would find that a more difficult decision to make but really its just a bit of paper, noone takes much notice of a birth cert apart from people filling out forms who dont care whats on it. The rights you'd be giving him by putting him on are much more significant.

But thats just what id do, as CD said you have to do whats right for you and Joe and noone else.

Im just trying to keep my mind off useless half arsed contractions that couldnt push a fart out, nevermind a baby!!

It depends whether you like the name - I know you weren't going to have it, but how do you feel about it?

Oh just read that back and sounds like I dont really care, of course i do i just meant thats why im giving you my full opinion. Oh you know what i mean dont you!

at Pesha, i love women in labour

i don't mind the name as such

but think that it might look like copying my sister?

and does Joe Philip David Kirkby sound odd?

Do YOU want to add the name??

Agree with Pesha - wouldn't add him atm; leave it and see what happens and may be review in 6m. You can re-reg the birth up to a yr after baby is born ....