October 2017 #5!

[GimbleInTheWabe]

Hope no one minds me setting up a new thread- we were getting full up on the other one!

Here is the link to the deets sheet, feel free to add or edit your details as you please:
docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1pa8LZMKMLvREYH4kFiNqn1dD7aTb053cT_KHvghwvSM/edit?usp=sharing

Bring on the third trimester aches, midwife appointments and birth plan chat!

@ButterflyGem - Yes, Im the same. No need to feel self conscious. It's the bodies way of making sure it's flushing out any potential infections and keeping you nice and clean for the baby's sake.

Is anyone else feeling really massive and buggered? I'm only 31 weeks and am as big now as I was at term with DD.

Plus I'm so so so so so so so exhausted in the day; riding my bike feels 10x harder than it did last week and I feel bad for offloading DD onto DH for large unexpected swathes of time whilst I have an emergency conk out - for up to 2.5 hrs

Yes we are in a lucky position where thus can be so but this pregnancy is HOOFING MY ARSE in a way the first one didn't.

[yawns]

I'm with you on that beans. I'm 30 weeks and already wearing the maternity clothes from when I was full term last time. No idea what I'm going to wear once these get too small! Those vast maternity tent dresses from the 1980s are suddenly looking quite comfy and appealing...

@beans riding a bike??? I'm 30 weeks and I feel exhausted walking up the stairs! I feel massive and tired and sore. Can't wait until this baby is born!

32 weeks and dischargey too. Nice.

Wow @TheLegendOfBeans I am also v impressed with your bike riding! Don't even think I could swing my leg over the saddle ha. I am feeling ALOT bigger now, I've def grown loads in the last 2 weeks and collected a few more stretch marks along the way too damn it  luckily they're pretty light and not too angry looking. gunna keep up with my moisturiser though!

Also btw @pollybythesea thanks for the self employed intel, I haven't been able to do anything as I don't have my mat form yet (seeing the midwife next thurs) so hopefully I get in sorted in time for his arrival! I do love a form though so I'm kind of looking forward to filling it all out ha

I've got my 26th bday this Sunday and normally I'd feel excited about it but tbh I keep forgetting, having a baby is way more exciting than a boring old birthday!

No bike ride today but DD being up at 6am = my being absolutely unable to function from just before lunch and I've just been out for the count for two hours.

Just exhausted alllllllllll the time. DH being a big trooper, he's always v v v hands on and as he'll be back at work on 11 Sept I'm allaying my guilt about only doing 15% of the parenting of DD right now by realising I'll have 100% of it to do from 35weeks onwards.

So tired always. And great iron and glucose levels it seems....

Also impressed @TheLegendOfBeans. I find my bump gets in the way when I cycle now, so I can only use the very upright spin bikes in the gym. Also managed to somehow throw my shoulder out squatting weights yesterday, which baffles me as it's not even a shoulder exercise! Sad as I had to say goodbye to deadlifts :( Just can't do the form properly anymore as the bump is too big.

Think I just need a mini self-indulgent rant! (Sorry in advance ladies!) Two days ago DH brought up the topic of the annual ski trip he goes on with his friends every year and says they need to know whether he's in for next year (Jan/early Feb). I've always said I'll never tell him what he can do, but equally I've been honest that I don't feel too happy about being left by myself with a large dog and a potentially 12 week old newborn for a week (we have no family nearby). We've been saving to go on holiday together next year and the cheapest the ski trip will cost is £800 (if everyone goes)... but DH is still keen to go...

Then the icing on the cake is I found out today my dad has booked to go on a climbing trip starting the day before my due date for a week... to a place where he currently is right now on a climbing trip?! (He goes on these trips at least once a month). It's not firmly booked as he only pays the week before the trips so I spoke to him about it on the phone and he says he's still going. My DM then confessed that he didn't even know when my due date was last week so probably hadn't got it in his mind at all when signing up for the trip. Don't get me wrong, I know there's a reasonable chance that Bubbabean won't even come while he's away and my mum will most likely put her foot down about him not going but in my heightened-emotional-pregnant state I couldn't help but feel really hurt that his immediate response was to still say he's going rather than see how that might look to me... I.e that he values his frequent climbing trips over the arrival of his first grandchild and supporting his daughter. My dad means very well, he really does, but has virtually zilcho emotional intelligence. Think it's probably partly bad-timing with both DH and DF revealing their excursions at the same time! I certainly don't think that the world revolves about me and Bubbabean but as due date gets closer I guess I'm feeling more vulnerable and therefore want the people I love close to me!! 🙈🙈 (Sorry all, vent over and hope you're all having good weekends!) xxx

Oh mumma that's a bit crap. Dads can be a bit dense sometimes can't they? I think its time to be honest with DP though. Big hugs

Thanks Bobbiepin. I have been honest with DH, alongside saying I did mean it when I said I'll never become the kind of person who tells him what he can or can't do. I've clearly said I would rather he didn't go next year, but he's a big boy and his own person and has to accept that if he chooses to go I am not likely to be wildly happy when the time comes!

@mummabubs that would def annoy me too about DP. Maybe when bubbabean is actually here he'll change his mind about going anyway? As at the mo he doesn't really know what he'll be missing out on by going away, and he'll be more aware of how much work he's leaving you to do all alone too!

DDad going away sounds annoying too and I'd be peeved about not knowing the due date. My DM didn't know mine and at my baby shower literally everyone else knew except her. I know not everyone else's lives revolve around the arrival of our babies but you'd think they'd have the date in their mind! It's my parents first grandchild too.

Glad it's not just me that feels that way Gimble! Thank you :) Think the problem is that they'll need to pay deposits and full amount for the ski trip quite a while in advance, so would be losing a fair chunk of money if DH then backed out. He does point out that I'd always said pre TTC that having a baby wouldn't stop him going on the trips, which is true.., but equally we had no idea when we'd actually conceive so I might have either still been pregnant come January or had a much older baby which would definitely feel different to 12 weeks old! 🙈 I'm seeing him later today as I've been away at my parents for a few days so maybe we'll have a wee chat about it! As for my dad my mum insists he won't go, I think on reflection it's probably more that his parents (my GPs) were completely disinterested in us growing up and I know this upset my dad, so it's frustrating to see a similar pattern emerging with his first grandchild... we shall see! Xx

Remember 12 weeks is 3 months, you'll be more settled into things than you think by then. Maybe take the opportunity to have DM round for some family time if you want the support and have some special bonding time with your gorgeous baby.

My DH will start going away for work from Feb, its work so I couldn't stop him but it does worry me that I'll be completely alone. I think I'll ask friends to come round in the evenings and make sure I have stuff planned to do for when he's away. DH says he's looking forward to a time when I go away so it can just be him and the baby but god knows when that'll happen!

Phew, half the battle done- DH has decided he's not going (purely as he met up with all the guys yesterday and apparently a lot of them can't make it), so not out of wanting to support me but hell I'm not fussy!! My dad remains another chestnut but I'll just have to go with whatever he decides I guess...

Meant to say hope your transition goes well when DH goes back to work Bobbiepin, due to the kind of work my mum does (and living 3 hours away) it wouldn't really be easy for her to take a week off so close after Christmas, so I'm really glad DH has decided to stay put. He's already talking about ski trip 2019 though! 🙈🙈 xx

At least he's staying at home! Start organising a girl's weekend somewhere and watch him panic about being left alone with the baby. Preferably plan it for the 4 month sleep regression 😂 Your dad will be a different matter, its upsetting definitely but he's the one missing out, try to remember that.

Thanks, its gonna take some getting used to definitely. I usually look forward to his time away as I get to order pizza and have some time and space to myself (tbh I think its great for our relationship) so will just make do.

For what it's worth @mummabubs I think you handled things really well by not giving him a horrible ultimatum (I'm the same as you. I don't want to turn into my husband's keeper!) but still communicated clearly your feelings on the subject. Handled like a pro!

I remember DH went away with work when DD was about 3 months. I went to stay with my mum and it was actually really great when I got there (although stressful planning it), she looked after me and the little one and gave me a bit of a break. Plus by then you are getting into more of a routine, although every baby is different! But DH was getting paid rather than spending our own cash to go away - that I wouldn't have been so happy about! Sounds like maybe things have worked out okay for you in the end without a big confrontation mumma.

After putting it off for ages we have just started the baby names discussion. DH has no-no ed my only 4 choices for boys names, although I had a possible that he is okay with. So we got the baby name books out. Wow, there are some weird ones in there. Adolf, Baldric or Bandit anyone?

Oh god the baby names books get right on my wick. There's so much utter guff in there - as you say, seriously why why why would you include Adolf of Baldric?

Are there people out there really considering naming their son after a genocidal maniac or Blackadder's flea-ridden, put upon sidekick?

I digress but do ask....has anyone else's hormones gone potty of late or am I just a ball of unbridled rage for no good reason?

Haha my hormones are definitely more... hormoney @TheLegendOfBeans ! Watching Child Genius last night I was spewing venom at the tv for most of the hour, my family looked terrified. (Although they did agree with my sentiments). And how dare you insult my number one choice of boys names- Adolf Mugabe Baldrick Bubbabean is not amused! 😁😂
Thanks @KitKatSplat, that meant a lot to me reading that. We don't really do arguing or confrontation to be honest but we have many level-toned 'debates' during which we disagree! Glad we don't have to over this, until the next ski trip... 🙈

Baby naming is so hard! DH told me last night he's really coming round to a name that I suggested but have since gone off a bit! So typical!

We've had the same both ways Bobbiepin! My favourite boys name is one that DH originally suggested but has since gone off and I'm starting to have doubts over our favourite girls name... tricky stuff! At least if we knew the gender that'd be half the battle!

My dad text me at half 11 last night, apparently he wouldn't dream of going away when Bubbabean is due and I need to reexamine my sense of humour, of lack thereof(!) (There was absolutely zilcho indication from his words or tone of voice on the phone that he was joking about still going). I give up!! 😂 ... that and he definitely doesn't have a scoobies when my due date is, that much I know wasn't a joke!!

@mummabubs I'm so glad DP has come round, he's def made the right decision. Bet it feels like a weight off your shoulders!

DP and I are also absolutely nowhere with baby names. And everyone asks, right?! And then spends 20 minutes suggesting names for you.. we've both been keeping a list each and then after our 36w scan we're going to swap lists and see but tbh I think we've just got to see what he looks like when he comes out!

Anyway else now really feeling like a beached whale when they try to move in bed?! And I'm now making so many noises when I get up and down, I sound like I'm about 75 ha.

@mummabubs that's a shitter. Dads are crap with feelings at the best of times and when you're hormonal and exhausted its just not funny!

@gimble we're telling everyone that we're keeping our ideas secret and not settling on something until she's born. Saying that, I have a favourite and I'm pretty much settled. We're discussing middle names atm.

I make noises trying to do anything, forget just rolling over in bed. My MIL has had back problems as long as I've known her and always grunts when she stands/sits. I'm trying SO hard not to do the same.