First-timers Due last quarter 2007

[geekInPigtails]

After hearing a couple of people complain about the lack of it, and then experiencing it myself, I thought I'd follow nomoremagnolia's suggestion and create an ante-natal thread just for us poor scared naive first-timers

Of course I'm not saying we shouldn't also be on the normal ante-natal club threads so we can learn from people with a bit more experience, but a little newbie club might be friendly and reassuring too?

So if this is your first baby and you're due Sept, Oct, Nov, Dec 07, please join me!

Please?!

Polarmummy I am a Scot! Southwest though, so I can probably see over to you on a clear day!
Yip end of term is ALMOST coming into sight, about 9 or 10 weeks not that I am counting...!

South-East Scotland here....

Really struggling with the whole hormones/distraction/frazzled/tiredness thing. Dh is finally learning that when I collapse into a blubbing heap it's not his fault (he always took it personally before) but it's horrid and I hate it! I'm supposed to be the organised, strategic planner on this team, and I can't even make a simple decision.

V. tired of being icky and tired, and feeling like I'm letting the side down - we're self-employed and just about to start food at the hotel after a 2.5 year (v.v. expensive and unexpected) renovation project. Then there's the craft weekend I'm organising for mid-May, which still needs an after-dinner speaker, and completed teaching materials (I'm doing the patchwork knitting bit), and we're chronically short-staffed, and and....

Sorry. Really struggling to be positive about this, even though this baby has been longed and hoped for for years. I know there's nothing anyone can do (cups of tea notwithstanding) and I'm sure things will get better eventually.

thelady you sound well fed up! i know just how you feel - it's all so up and down isn't it, and all made harder by feeling compeltely knackered all the time. I am assured that it gets better, and that's it's all worth it.

i had to go to the epu this morning cos i was spotting a bit overnight. dh couldn't come with me and i have never felt so alone. all was well though, i think, and the jumping bean was jumping around like a good un. they did notice that i have a socking great corpus luteum cyst on one ovary but the sonographer said it wasn't unusual. the spotting was cause by a small posterior haematoma, v. common apparently and usually resolves itself. still quite stressful though, and it is, at times, hard to remember how worth it it's all supposed to be.

oh dundeemarmalade how stressful for you! I'm glad they think it's all fine and normal. And at least you got to see the bean! I never saw mine at the bean stage, it was well and truly a little baby by the time I had the scan the other day. Anyway, make sure you use this as an excuse to take things extra easy for a while

thelady, I know exactly what you mean about being tired of feeling tired and icky! At first I felt a bit like 'Ooo, this is a pregnancy thing!' which took the edge off it a bit, but it just gets boring and frustrating after a while doesn't it? How far on are you now? I'm 12 and a half weeks, and I've had a few days in the past week that have been better, so I'm hoping it's starting to tail off a bit. Hope it does for you too.

I'm 8-ish weeks, so a loooong time to go. I've this horrid premonition that I'm going to be trying to run a knitting workshop with ms in 3.5 weeks' time....

I think the worst of it is that I'm always so completely in control, and suddenly I've this squatter turning me into a weepy indecisive mess

dundeemarmalade: I'm so glad everything is OK after the scare.

BeachBunni I have to say that so far yes I think it is worth going private, I have a schedule of appointments and scans which are every six weeks and the guy that I am with gets a very good name so it is making me feel more confident and therefore relaxed

PolarMummy: it's fascinating how different we all are isn't it? You're going private (lucky you) while I'm wondering how I'm going to afford a 'replacement' in the family hotel when I can no longer work.... It's almost three years since either of us had an income at all - the joys of being self-employed

Please note: I'm not criticising, and don't regret the choices I've made either, but it is interesting to see how we're all coping in so many different ways.

thelady - how about knit-your-own sick bags, lovingly crafted out of washable yarn...
i know what you mean about being in control - i've been more worried about this than almost anything else and i'm already looking forward to getting by body back in (ohmigod it can't be that long) 7 months time - and that doesn't include bf-ing.
the self-employment thing is a real mixed blessing isn't it? i don't think a lot of people realise the amount of hassle/stress/admin involved in working for yourself and not having the support of an employing organisation, even if it's not a very good one.

i was planning, having just finished my phd, to start a bunch of new research projects and to apply for all sorts of exciting funding e.g. busking, begging etc but i barely have enough energy to keep up with my 12-hours a week Open University work at the moment, so all my plans have been put on hold. i don't //think// it makes me a selfish cow to resent this, but it's exactly what I worried about when we were ttc. i've asked people with kids whether this resentment lasts, and all of them say no way, but i don't believe them. hmmm.

thelady I don't take it as a criticism at all I know I am very fortunate to be able to afford to go private. I have wanted a family for a number of years but it just wasn't meant to be until now, but I started putting a little money away towards a baby when we first thought about it several years ago and by now we can afford to go private things have a way of working themselves out.

Although I can see the downsides to it too I would love to be self employed, this working for someone else can be very demotivating

dundeemarmalade: I went from PhD to working in an office as prep for this scheme (DH has wanted to run a hotel for a long time) and am now partner in the business.... Self-employed is work, hard work, and as we're employers too, the admin is just plain awful. This week's fun has been end-of-tax-year P60s and all the other nonsense for the Revenue!

Fortunately for me, we've not quite started food, and DH is letting me rest as much as I can before the storm starts. We're still trying to work out what we do when I get too big to fit behind the bar

PolarMummy: how lovely that you've managed to put away a little nest egg in preparation for this!

thelady I would say it is more Creme egg sized than nest egg sized but I guess every little helps. I hope that you get everything sorted out, might be just as well its coming into the summer time you could serve drinks outside

Hey, it's gone pretty quiet on here, how's everyone doing?

I've been feeling a bit better recently. I'm 14.5 weeks now, and not feeling ill more than once a week, got more energy most of the time too. The only problem was I had to fly to Holland this Wed for work, and couldn't sleep the night before - got about 2-3 hours in total I think. Thought I coped with the flight there fine, but (don't know whether it was the tiredness or pregnancy or both) as soon as I stood up and walked off the plane onto the bus (to take us to the arrivals lounge) I suddenly and uncontrollably threw up my breakfast! In front of all those people on the bus - soooooo embarressing! Urgh...

thelady, how are things for you at the mo? coping with work alright? hope you're finding time to look after yourself too...

Is anyone else thinking about nursery space yet? I've suddenly started to get the horrible feeling that our house, which we only bought 2 years ago, isn't really big enough for a family! There are three bedrooms, but one is tiny and has been the study up till now. We're going to convert it to the nursery to start with, which will be fine for a baby, but I really think it'll be too small once LO gets a bit bigger. And that only leaves one room for a study and spare bedroom combined, so who knows what we'll do when we start thinking about a second child!

Hi gip glad to hear that you are feeling better and hope it continues, I am 19+2 weeks and my nausea has come back with a vengence this week, but at least I am not being sick, I am sure your experience getting off the plane was not pleasant at all.

Luckily enough we have a spare room so we are using that for the Nursery, my main concern though is wardrobe/cupboard space I have used it all as the overflow from our room, so I really don't know what I am going to do with all our stuff!

geekInPigtails: thanks for asking.

I'm feeling much better having met the midwife & had my 'booking' appointment. She'll be on duty at the local hospital when I'm in, so I've a 50% chance of having her look after me!

Nursery space. Ha ha. We're currently living in two rooms - bedroom and general dumping ground/living room, with our bathroom one floor up. We're probably going to move our bed into the living room (the one that opens onto the hotel corridor) and turn our bedroom into a nursery. To be honest, I suspect it'll be for me and LO for a while as DH is chef and will need some sleep.... We'll have to board up the built-in cupboards and do something about the washbasin in the bedroom as that's in a cupboard as well. Storage is going to be fun too, but people managed in bedsits before.

At least, that's what I'm telling myself at the moment in-between freaking out completely.

Once this weekend is over (Rugby 7s - so anyone in the Borders will know exactly where I stay!) I have 4 days to recover before the Fibre-crafts weekend I'm running here. Supposed to be another income stream, but as the locals won't spend more than £10 on anything we've got people from the USA, France and England - and about half the numbers we need.

Sorry about the long moan. I'm feeling icky, tired, and very nervous about tomorrow as the pubs are mad-busy all evening and I'm generally on crowd control. I'll be fine once it starts, based on previous years, but it's going to be a very long day indeed. DH is being a total gem, and I'm feeling very guilty about not helping as much as I 'should' - couldn't do breakfast this morning for the first time due to nausea tho' I'll have to tomorrow/Sunday as there's just too many guests for him to deal with alone.

Why did I go self-employed again?

Hi all,

Well: work is manic, DH has just started a new job and is doing 14 hour days at the moment, my mother is trying to move house and somehow although everyone keeps asking how I am because I am not sick or dying they think there is no requirement to ease up a bit. This weekend I finally insisted that DH actually do all the heavy lifting involved in sorting out our garden (on several levels with stairs between) for the summer and he was utterly shocked. I am still not showing (at 15+4) but my uniform is really getting pretty cosy. The thing is that I am not quite ready to start wearing the tent-like stuff that work provide so I am hanving on in there in my "fat trousers" (gave up on the nice skirt weeks ago!).

I have been out looking at maternity clothes for a smart function I am going to in a few weeks and really couldn't see anything but I am reluctant to buy a bigger normal size as I have a few things to go to over the summer and would like something that will grow with me. Any suggestions?

Hi guys. Oh, thelady and FCH, you both sound pretty stressed!

thelady - glad you feel better for seeing your midwife. Yeah, mine said the same, she does shifts at the hospital where I'll (hopefully!) be giving birth - it's nice to know there's a good chance of a friendly face at least at some point that i'm there! You do sound a bit cramped, but as you say, I'm sure you'll be able to make it work. How did the weekend go?

FCH - be confident about saying no to stuff! Really! It's not a good idea for you to be straining anything or doing any percussive exercise (can't remember if that's the right term, but anything that involves a lot of hard jiggling! ), and you're bound to be more tired anyway. So you're not being a wimp, you're looking after your baby, and if anyone doesn't understand that they need a good talking to! hmph. Fortunately, people around me have been pretty good so far - I like to think it's because I'm not the kind of person who asks for help very often, but I've been deliberately doing that recently, so they know I'm not just being lazy. Not that I'm saying you must be lazy if people aren't offering to help!!! erm, think I'll shut up now

Can't offer much advice on the maternity clothes front, I've only just started to look myself. I was a bit worried about it because I'm pretty short and normally need to get petite trousers, but I was pleasantly surprised when I went into the big Mothercare near me - they now have a petite maternity section! So I found a pair of smart black trousers for meetings a work which look alright from the crotch down. Unfortunately, they're the kind with the enormous band of jersey material at the top that goes all the way up to your boobs, and makes my very-slightly-bulging tummy look ENORMOUS already! But with a shirt or top over the top to gloss over all that, it looks fine. Other than that, I've also got a pair of maternity jeans from Dorothy Perkins, which have a band of elastic hidden in the back. They look fine, but at the moment my tummy isn't really big enough for them, so they gradually slip down further than I'd like as I walk So if you find anything you'd recommend, please let me know!

FCH: the Next directory has some nice-looking maternity wear in LOTS of sizes. Not the cheapest, but it's been recommended to me by several friends.

Sevens weekend was a bit of a damp squib (literally - the weather was awful) and having the extra staff-member meant I didn't have to do nearly as much running around as last year. Still not sure about lifting beer kegs/crates, but am doing what I can to be sensible.

This weekend is the fibre-crafts weekend (I'm teaching half of it) at the hotel, and tbh I'm dreading it as it's just not turned out the way we'd hoped. Five people booked, instead of the 15 we needed for it to be viable, and one dafty who turned up a week early last weekend! Cos the rest are coming from overseas I can't exactly cancel either. So much for bringing trade into the town (not that the council was interested in helping as it wasn't a charity)

Hi all!

thelady I am with you on space - nursery, what nursery?!! Eek am dreading it already (in the nicest possible way, I know I am so lucky to even be pg!). The fact that it will be winter - summer is the only time I like my shoebox house as we have a nice garden, but in the winter with washing all over the place, dog and DH trailing in mud, me with a baby and nowhere to put it...aaaaaaaa

ok stress is bad for the bump!

I'm only 10+2 so no baby bump yet but a big fat tummy where it used to be flat!!

For those of you whose baby bumps have "popped" out - when did it happen? I can't wait!

I'm 11 weeks exactly but as I haven't had a flat tummy since I was about 5, I'm not sure how to answer. Certainly I'm sticking out more in front, and haven't been able to lie on my tummy for weeks, but no visible baby bump.

Basically I look even fatter than I usually do . I believe that unless you're really slim, your first usually doesn't start to show until at least 16 weeks, and possibly later.

DH and I have been talking long-term plans, as we do every three months or so. If tadpole is going to have a sibling, we're going to need to think about moving at some point in the next 4 years....

Oh, and for the washing, I want one of these:

airer

DH isn't keen as he doesn't want to lie in bed looking at laundry Suppose he'd rather trip over it in the dark instead!

Haven't been on this thread for a while so thought I'd pop on and say hello to all the rest of the nervous, excited first time ladies.

11wks and haven't had any ms yet, just really bad stomach cramps at times after I eat. Tummy just looking fat but - oh joy - my boobs have got slightly bigger. Being an A cup girl you have no idea how happy I was trying on old bras that haven't fitted me in a couple of years and are a B. And I had to let the straps out!!

thelady I feel so sorry for you. You sound run of your feet. My dp has excellant and original idea for business but would require us to go self-employed and pretty sharpish. The timing just totally sucks though.

thelady I love that airer! My grandma had one just like that when I was little!

Hello I'm new here!

I think I just sneak into the last quarter 2007 as I'm due on the 31st December! This makes me currently 9+2

Its so reassuring to know that I'm going through the same thing as everyone else. My MS has abated a little, and as soon as I was feeling better I was convinced that either I wasn't pregnant to start with, or I've had a "secret" miscarriage! Neither of which I hope are true or I'm going to look like a right plum at my 12 week scan!

I'm still knackered, and the boob fairy is very much in evidence (gone from 36D to 40E in 9 weeks!) but at least I'm not throwing up all the time! I find it absolutely fascinating the way it affects my mood and appetites though. I've completely gone off anything sweet, don't really want to eat meat, and I've been eating packets upon packets of salt and vinegar and BBQ Hula Hoops! Healthy I know!

Best of all as well, I've got a bleedin operation due in 5 weeks as well! I have chronic gallbladder problems, and am due to have it out then. It seems fairly safe (although there's always some risk) and I'll be glad to be rid of the damn thing.

Oh, and I'm going to a big rock festival next week as well - that will be fun if I'm feeling tired, but thankfully we've got VIP tickets this year so get to park next to the tent, free shuttle bus to the festival site etc etc

Anyway, apologies if I'm rambling a little, I'm not really capable of threading anything coherent together!

Some of you seem to be coping amazingly well in pretty tough circumstances - my heart goes out to you guys at the moment - it must be a real struggle, but I'm sure it will all be worth it in the end

Hi Naetha! Sorry, we've been pretty quiet on here recently. Snap with the Hula Hoops, I love them! Although it has to be ready salted for me.

You sound very brave about your operation - I'd probably be scared stiff! Without reason I hasten to add, I'm sure it'll be fine, and you should be extra well looked after. At least it's after the magic 12 weeks for you.

Hold on in there with the tiredness - I was still feeling pretty rotten in a very vague way up to about 15 weeks, but the past fortnight I've suddenly got almost all my normal energy levels back, plus a bit of a bump (so lots more congratulations from people), so I finally feel like I'm actually enjoying being pregnant!

Hello - anyone out there?

Geek - I am also feeling rather more normal (although not sure I would go so far as enjoying...

Finally bought a very nice black wrap dress from JoJo Maman Bebe for £35 which I thought was pretty good and I intend to wear it to every function we are going to this summer with my rainbow array of pashminas (in India for work last year!!). I have also found that New Look have some really nice tops in their maternity section and top-shop have some good linen trousers. I not have a semi bump - my waist has increased by about 8 inches and is now almost as big as my hips, but I look more like a tree-trunk than an expectant mother. On the bright side I have my 20 week scan a week on Monday and I am SOOOOO excited!

What are you all up to?