May 2017 #8....... Bumps, Bargains and Baby Clothes

[RasperryInAMelon]

Here goes thread #8

Hello to all! If anyone is just joining us - please add your details on the spread sheet of EDD's...

May 2017

Also a link to the last thread Thread7

Everyone is telling me I'm massive all of a sudden so it will be interesting to see my measurement at the 28wk check on Weds!

rise, mrsjw glad I'm not the only one measuring high and that your MWs aren't worried either.

For anyone worrying about the anti D jab, I had mine and it was fine (I don't much like needles either), less bad than a blood test because it only took two seconds. The mw warned me the liquid was cold which was useful!

Welcome Sal

Rasperry, I haven't got shin splints from pregnancy, but do suffer with them generally. They are HORRIBLE, and the only thing that calms them down for me is rest, which is really difficult in my job (other than now when I sit down all day long [grin[ )

Dream, I think baby is still head down, I keep getting kicked in the ribs, and I do think baby is punching the other side though, so many it has moved. It doesn't seem to stop wriggling (I also must get a nickname for bump, it just doesn't sound right!)

DH and I finally finished all the DIY bits in our house, so its just time to relax and try to enjoy being pregnant for me now! We're off to a wedding on the south coast in 2 weeks, so looking forward to getting away and spending some time together (with muttley) before the baby comes :)

Glad all is OK Barnes. Hope your feeling better Esme & Ticky

Fox and I feel massive! Let us know what the measurements are! 2 weeks on Thursday for my 28 (well 29) week appointment, scan and endocrinologist!
Thought it was too far ahead so I just popped into gp this morning with some increased respiratory rate and she sent me to hospital with increased Bp as well. Typically it's back to normal but just for fun had an ecg done as well and bloods taken. Just because there was nothing else to do at home...

Fox - I am also having these kind of comments all of a sudden! My dad asked if there was more than one in there. I was quite surprised as thought I was just about normal.
I was measured on Saturday and measured bang on 28cm so they're all wrong anyway! Totally normal size for 28 weeks

Oh, and those who have measured high at the 28week check up, I was told there is a 2cm leeway either side, so 26-30cm I believe is fine at 28 weeks :)

Bright my bump is known as bubbles because that's what s/he felt like the first time and we couldn't use "it" or "baby" We have friends who called their unborn baby ricie because when they found out about her she was the size of a grain of rice. Their daughter is now 10 and still known as ricie.... to the extent I can't remember her actual name

Bright we are still referring to 'it' or 'the baby' which is weird, but we've never quite got a name sorted. We are team yellow, and I think it's probably too late to change now.

The midwife did say that 2cm was ok (the GP said 1cm at 25 weeks) but I feel large, particularly as I don't seem to have changed elsewhere. I'm mostly worried about looking ridiculous by the end and running out of clothes...

We call bump either "baby" or "little h" our surname starts with a H

MrsJW I'm the same it's all out front, boobs and bump.... I'm still the same shape from behind which is frustrating when I go to put coats/jackets on and then they only get so far

I'm worried I'll get to the point where I just topple forwards

Had a private scan today, after a "niggling feeling" and an episode of decreased foetal movement. The baby is on the 10th percentile of growth... Was 35% at 20 week scan... anyone had anything similar and have it work out OK? Midwife was spectacularly unhelpful on the phone, telling me they can't take private scans in to account and will instead rely on the abdominal measurement at my appointment on Friday... Argh!! Bwing an older first time mum (35) I am all too aware of the risk of placental insufficiency etc..

Bright nothing wrong with Bubbles as a nickname
I like the Ricie story.
Still here, just had the arterial bloodgas taken, so pleasant, not. Trying to decide if a chest x Ray will be required, as not overly keen on our little peapod being subject to any radiation...
At least have felt baby move nicely throughout the day, so everything ok in that area, I'm suspecting!

Welcome sal, glad all ok Barnes, another older first time mum got my fingers and toes crossed for you here crazyzoo and glad you've got some more movement Rustler

If anyone could offer any advice or views on this I'd be v grateful (sorry this has turned out rather long)...

With my job (been there 7 years) and maternity leave I feel lucky on two counts. 1 that subject to a second reference I've got maternity cover sorted and a lovely overlap of 6 weeks. 2 that because of coincidence of due date and end of annual leave year (plus the fact that as the only childless manager I take my holidays around those that want school holidays so lots of my time off is usually in April and May) HR advised v early on that I could carry over as much remaining leave as I wanted to use after mat leave. I took a weeks holiday in Feb and have booked days off to enable 4 day weeks prior to mat leave so didn't hoard it all.

Today I've met with my manager and

• for the second time she misremembered how long I've stated I want to be off on my MATB1 form (she has a photographic memory and knows I stated 12 not 9 months as that all ties up with length of mat cover). I put 12 months on the form in the end as she is notoriously controlling and I wanted to be able to ask to come back early rather than ask for an extension if necessary as seems less stressful
• said that 'I know I can't make you but' for a number of management reasons asked me to agree to take this current years annual leave days and the annual leave I'll accrue during mat leave during the 12 months of mat leave so that I don't have accrued days when I return alongside the days I will have in the annual leave year when I return. She said it was ridiculous for her to manage this in the year I'm back (this situation is normal for anyone coming back after mat leave I'd have thought )
• I was careful not to make any noises that could be taken as agreement but nodded to show I was taking it in so she pushed me to tell her whether I'd agree to take all the leave within 12 months mat leave. I said that I'd agree to take the remaining days of this years accrued leave within the 12 months but I wasn't decided on the leave which will accrue during mat leave
• She asked what I was planning to do when I came back then as the mat year accrued leave plus that years leave would amount to too much for her to reasonably deal with. I said I didn't know as I've never had a baby before so don't know how I'll feel
• The backdrop to this is that she is very against part time managers (our team has 2 part time managers out of the 4 of us, I'm the only one in the office every day as she granted another one day per week working from home). She has also very recently berated job sharers to me, basically she's not a fan of flexible working although my organisation has pretty good policies around it but it's at the managers discretion

I feel like I don't think she should be pushing me to make agreements about when I take my annual leave and that she is basically laying down a marker that if I'm coming back I'm coming back full time. By asking me to agree to take the mat year accrued leave during the mat leave it removes my option to use one or two days a week leave for a period of time to return to work part time even temporarily. Told one of my fellow managers about this and she said 'I hope you didn't cave' and 'you'll be parked' (not in good books) when you return to work unless it's full time by the sound of it.

Any advice on what is legal ( Rasperry any thoughts?) or how you would handle/ what you think about this would be useful. Thank you wise ladies and for getting to the end.

Dream what is your company maternity policy? Or annual leave policy? Is there anything mentioned in those two documents that refers to carrying over accrued vacation during maternity leave?

Fox - I've got my 28 week appt on Wednesday too

Bet you are exhausted Rusted hope you get home soon.

That's not very helpful of your midwife crazyzoo. I can see why you are worried. I would press for another NHS scan regardless of what they measure on Friday.

newbie maternity policy allows you to accrue all annual leave and bank holidays whilst off and use them within the first year that you return to work. Annual leave policy allows to carry 5 days over if needed. So by agreeing to take the days I've accrued up to mat leave during the 12 months mat leave I won't have any more than anyone else to decide what to do with after mat leave IYSWIM.

My job carries an amount of risk so that's why boss is keen on (suggested) this nice 6 week overlap with my cover if that helps any advice.

How big is your organisation Dream? Are you able to talk to HR or other managers about this if you think she's being unreasonable?

About 500 of MrsJW, good idea I will run this by HR. I wanted to get a bit of a straw poll reaction to help gauge how I do it, as am pretty sure HR won't want to drop another manager in it if that's in any way warranted will want to be understanding to both sides. I'm thinking I don't want them to do anything about it at this stage, just to note and perhaps give me an idea of how to respond if this happens again. Or maybe it's not really an issue and I'm getting stressed over nothing?

Dream - I wouldn't have thought she could force you to take next years accrued leave as part of your mat leave unless everyone else in the organisation was forced to take their annual leave evenly over the year. Otherwise it sounds like discrimination. I could understand her making you use this years annual leave during mat leave...

Crazy (I think it was crazy who wrote about the scan) - I'm an older first-timer too (37). Personally, I'd take the scan results with you on Friday and then if there's any doubt in their mind based on the measurements they're more likely to send you for another scan. If you still aren't happy, on Friday I'd ask them to explain how they can disregard scan results when measurements can be so incorrect (if they're concerned about measurements, they scan you, which suggests scans are more accurate), and keep asking questions until they cave in just to get rid of you agree. You never know, they may be able to reassure you, especially if you are measuring large. I'd probably also google accuracy percentages for scans and measurements so I was armed with info...

Dream you're doing the right thing by saying 12 months then shorten it if you want to. I don't think she can push you to make a decision on your holidays until you are back, I assume she is the one to approve any time off you ask for on your return?

I don't think she's being fair asking you to commit now to what you want to do with those holidays in a year... it's a long time away and anything could happen (she may not even be there when you return) and according to your policy you have a year to use them... I think your tactic about not knowing how you feel since you've never had a baby before was a good one.

Like mrsjw said, are there other managers you can talk to or an hr team to check with?

Crazy - found this info on Tommys website:

"If you are still concerned and your midwife does not refer you for a scan, you can ask to see another midwife in the team, contact the day assessment unit (DAU) within the maternity unit or alternatively seek advice by contacting a supervisor of midwives (SoM) through your maternity unit. The SoMs are available 24 hours a day."

Hi everyone. Just popping on to wave as I lost you all for a bit after a week in Wales where I had no signal or internet (oh the horror!).

Hope you are all well. Xx

Thanks very much for the views ladies. Barnes I agree that it's reasonable for me to take what's left of this years leave in the 12 months mat leave as it's just luck of timing that meant I had it and to be honest I'm sure I'll need some cash by then! So had already said I'd do that the last time we talked about it.

It's good to get some ideas and a bit of a steer about how to approach HR. Will let you know how it goes.

Dream, sounds a bit like your being pressured to agree to something that suits your manager rather than being allowed to make the return to work decision when it is right for you.
I do the HR for a small business (no qualifications tho) and i confirm in writing after matb1 is handed in that their return to work date is 12months after they begin mat leave, and that if they would like to return sooner we need notice no later than 8weeks before intended return date. I do this even when they have put a return to work date under 1year. In all honesty this is what I though all companies do. holiday wise I can see why your manager isn't keen on you returning with 2 years of entitlement to use in 1 year as it will mean you are off a lot but legally they can't make you take it all as part of your 12 months leave, tho I'm not sure if they could say you had to take the previous years entitlement immediately on returning so then you would be off for and extra 4/5 weeks depending on how much you have.
Crazy, I would take the scan results to the midwife and ask them to discus with you, hopefully they can either put your mind at ease of refer you for an addition scan.