Due in February 2017- Thread #10

[Readyfortwo]

Hope you found it ok ladies!

Horrible cold here too, and exactly the same thing with the movement! I went in for trace the other day as I was worried - he's moved in such a regular pattern ever since he first started moving - and they said he's just turned in a funny position so I feel it less, and has less room to manoeuvre.

Oh and for you Shell!

Thanks ever and fenella trying to get comfy in bed and it's just not happening 😢😣

I've just ordered a support belt/brace thing from amazon as having horrible muscle pain in my stomach. Especially when I stand up, it feels like I can actually feel my muscles pulling apart! I'm hoping the belt will help, I'll keep you posted! Don't think you can wear it for long periods of time though.

I might get one of those support things ...

How are people handling the unwanted advice?
I am SO FREAKING FED UP. From medical advice that I havent asked for, to breastfeeding "you can't drink" bullshit, to all sorts.
So fed up.
How to handle it????

I find "oh you don't know what you're in for!" from new parents the most annoying!

Tend to just smile then go on a cake hunt!

Curiosity when face to face I can pull a poker one
But when on text?
This is probably just me. But honestly getting to me the whats apps with: how is the baby??

No How are you, no. How is the baby? My reply was: no idea, how do you suggest I ask him?

Haha! I love that response ever

Its weird how you sort of disappear and become just a vessel!

You must be nicer than me as I don't get much unsolicited advice! I think people know I might tell them they don't know what they are talking about being a blunt American!

The only advice I've gotten is to get a night nanny, which I don't really see the point of as the baby will be in our room

I don't mind the advice, sometimes it's useful and sometimes it's not - all babies and families are different and if someone gives you advice based on what worked for them then that's fine with me. I can choose to ignore it if it's not relevant or not right for me.

The thing that winds me up is people who tell you how you should feel - at the moment I get a lot of "well you'll definitely want to keep DS in nursery when you have the new baby as it's hard work with two". It costs me about £1k a month in nursery bills for his four days - where do they think I'm going to find that money if I'm not working?! Or "you won't want to work until January, you'll be too tired. Why don't you stop before Christmas?". I think it's fine for someone to tell me what they would have done, or what worked for them, but I hate it when it's worked in a preachy way that sounds like it's telling me how I will feel.

I can go one better - my aunt was out for dinner last night with 2 of her friends who have met me ONCE and she kept texting me all the advice about breastfeeding these ransoms wanted her to pass on...

I have developed a fail safe tactic at this point - whenever anyone says the 'just you wait, you don't know what you're letting yourself in for, you'll never sleep again' spiel, I just smile and say "well, I'm expecting it to be fairly rubbish, and to be bored, and tired all the time. But luckily some boarding schools still take children from the age of 4, so I don't have to deal with it long."

Randoms, not ransoms! One of whom is a man. Don't have breasts? Don't get to 'advise' me on breastfeeding!

I like advice and what other people enjoyed found helpful.

I think unsolicited advice though can grate. I had someone at work tell me I wasn't very maternal a while back! I wouldn't mind except I am maternal and love kids. I have worked with kids either as an after school job (worked in a nursery when I was a teenager) or volunteering with kids my entire life, including now!

I work in finance so I'm obviously not maternal at work as I would be eaten alive :)

I also don't like it when people try to guess how far along I am by looking at my bump / body. No good can come of it, just ask me!

A lot of our mutual friends are male, so thankfully I don't get too much direct advice! However, what really grates are the other blokes who are already dads, telling my OH horror stories about how this, that and the other will definitely happen, or I'll turn into a psychotic loon, or how (I kid you not, this was from one guy!) I'll probably worry so much about movement that if it's anything like his missus got, it's not even worth going along to provide support if a trace or scan is needed. !!! WTF! I mean, obviously their kid came out and all was fine, but I'd rather his blokey buddies weren't, in some cases, making out that parenthood is a dreadful minefield of women turning into lunatic bitches who worry over the littlest thing that means nothing (!!!!!).

I've been having a lot of people telling me it would he a good idea to put my eldest dd (just turned 4) in preschool full time or/and get youngest dd (just turned 2) in there part time. No thanks. Dd1 already goes two full days and a half day, that will do just fine but she starts school in September. Also means that babies due date and her starting school full time are far enough away from each other that she won't feel pushed out by baby. Dd2 isn't due to start preschool at all until Jan 2018 and thats how its staying. I'm well aware that I'm gonna have some tiring days but this is how we planned to have our children and I'm happy with our choice.

Thankfully I'm not getting a lot of other unwanted advice but do get loads of the 'you'll have your hands full' type comments. I just smile and say I know.

Haha Kiki that's exactly the sort of rubbish my dh would say if he didn't take zero interest in other people's children. Apparently I turned into a loon for a while and I worry about everything far too much. I think parenthood does often change you but not everyone and not for the worse.
Some advice is really good but some seems to be given by people who don't live in the real world. Plus all babies are different so what works for one won't necessarily work for another.

Hehe glad to know I am not the only one dealing with all this unhelpful comments!!!
29+4, boy is this dragging
Maybe once I finish work it will be better but I cant say I am enjoying the pregnancy...

Hi, I haven't been on here in a while but have been following the fb group. I haven't had too much unsolicited advice apart from my mum who seems determined to ignore all the NHS guidance and keeps telling it's ok for babies to sleep on they're fronts cos it didn't do me and my brother any harm (the advice was to back sleep by the time my brother was born) , is ok to throw used disposable nappies on the fire 😨, and she's determined to hog her first grandchild, even though I've told her I'll be doing my best to get breastfeeding established . I love my mum but I knew from an early age that her approach to motherhood was not something I wanted to copy. At least with other people's advice you can ignore it easily, mum's are a bit harder to.

Oh Mimi how annoying!!! I hate the "well I did that with you/ DC and you /DC turn up just fine"
Drives me crazy.
I think I will ignore and do my best

Hi Marking my spot! Been watching and reading for ages and finally time to post. I'm 30+3 and counting the days!

If I could be added to the Facebook group that would be great as gone a little quiter on here recently.

Thanks :)

Welcome retriever! If you send me a PM with your email address associated with FB account I can add you to the group.

How was everyone's weekend!

We finally put up the Christmas tree which was fun and DH has started washing all the baby clothes, bedding, muslins etc. He says its going to take him 6 loads which sounds totally insane but he is in charge of laundry in our house so I trust he's breaking things into appropriate sub-groups!

I've finished my Christmas shopping for DH, most of his family and my friends. I just need to pick up the last bits for one of his brothers and my Mom.

Is anyone else doing a baby pediatric course? We have ours on Saturday and I'm not sure what to expect but I figure we'll set up a little baby triage box after we've done the course!

PM'd you twocatsandatoddler

Hi, I recently stumbled across this. Hello fellow FebruaryBumpers! I was hoping that I could also join the Facebook group?

We dont have a Christmas tree yet and there is so much to do but I am exhausted and DH is always tired because he has 2 jobs so always grumpy and tired
I cant wait for my hols and mat leave! 18 days left, 11 of those to work.
Then to do everything that needs doing in the house. At least I bought most of the stuff.

Mad at mothercare and wont be shopping there on line anymore. Order 2 things that took forever to arrive and came in 2 different deliveries (yodel )
The bra is an L but tiny so wont fit at all and there was no delivery note inside, with I need to return it what to do?