Due in February 2017 - thread #9

[twocatsandatoddler]

New thread - hope everyone finds this! I'll try and post the link in the old thread if it will let us go over 1,000 posts.

I'm here. Just got back from work. Had a terrible day with a stabbing pain in the centre of bump and a really full feeling in my foofoo. It's not constipation this time!!!! It can't be.

Had to come home and put feet up in bed. Think little missy has got into a very very low down position and maybe the morning sex this morning has given me aches and pains

Morning sex on a workday! I'm impressed

Sorry that you are suffering for it now though! Hopefully a good nights rest will sort you out.

I'd forgotten morning sex existed, it hasn't happened since we had DS!

DH gets up at 5:15. What's this morning sex you speak of?!

Morning sex? I'd much rather sleep!
I had my flu and whooping cough jabs today. Glad they're over with because I hate injections!

Sorry ladies!!!! It made us both 5 minutes late for work though but totally worth it!! Think we are trying to get as much in as possible. Well I'm also like a rampant rabbit at the moment.... When I can get comfortable.

Haha! Good for you. My libido has tailed off though we are still DTD around once a week.

I do wonder how we'll manage with the 6 week break post birth. That's the longest either of us will have gone without sex in over a decade! Am I right in thinking the advice is to wait at least 6 weeks?

I think it's 6-8 weeks london also depends when the bleeding stops afterwards as well I suppose. It will be hard for me and other half but I'm sure being exhausted with a newborn will curtail any sexy time thoughts.

Also probably TMI but the scary thing about sex at this stage of pregnancy is we did the deed, I had a shower, got to work, and about an hour later had a major seepage incident in the middle of a team meeting. I had to excuse myself as I panicked my waters may have gone....... But no it was just ahem fluid.

London it's whenever you feel ready for it, believe me, if you don't feel healed down there you won't want to have sex, but if you feel ok then it's probably fine. I have friends that were having sex again a couple of weeks post birth. I was definitely not letting DH anywhere near me at that stage, I was still sore from the c-section.

Diva last time I was convinced I'd lost my mucus plus but it was just seepage from the sex we'd had to try to bring on labour! So grim! When the plug did appear it was even more grim, mind you!

twocats haha glad it's not just me then!!!! I was slightly panicked and just pretended it was pregnancy related weeing! I just hadn't expected all the seepage to come at once. Thought a good shower afterwards would of cleared it all. Gahhh

London we waited about 2 months. I had a c-section so assumed I would be intact but actually I found it sore for a long while. Also breastfeeding hormones completely take away your libido. I think it's something to do with your body trying to protect itself from getting pregnant again. It took me months to actually want to do it.

Uh, I hate that. Unless we are ttc or I'm in a particularly generous mood I get DH to pull out!

I think we dtd 6w after my emcs and all was fine. I had an episiotomy and forceps second time around, and awful haemorrhoids, so didn't attempt it til 8w or so PP. It was VERY uncomfortable the first and subsequent dozen times.

Due to nausea, PGP and general exhaustion we have not done it much this pg.

Hey ladies... OK so I don't want this to come over as though I'm a moaner or however it may come across if you get me..
From the previous post I have now started to worry (abit more haha) about the birth, the aftermath etc.... This bubba is one of the most wanted babies in the world!! Iv waited so long to conceive and have this chance and have abit dream come true!
No-one really tells you about things that happen after the birth such abit bouts how you may need stitches and peeing is sore... how you bleed for so long after it...
I'm petrified that I won't bond with my baby, worried that people including me will the ink I'm a terrible mother.. How I don't have a clue what I'm doing!!
I'm to scared to speak to DH about it, he has two girls already and 'been there done that got the tshirt'
I'm glad to be in this group as learning things as I'm go along but then some things just absolutely petrify me and I worry... I'm a natural worrier!
I know our bodies are built for this and lots of people do it and then do it again etc!

Sorry for the ramble... No-one to really talk to about it.....

Ps love morning sex... not dtd this last week and a bit 🙁

Shell pregnancy and the potential after effects of childbirth are a properly serious things we put ourselves through. I honestly don't think as women we give ourselves enough credit. Men would never do this to themselves! Sure child birth is natural but its still hard, sometimes complicated and more than a little gross in certain aspects.

Not bonding with a baby straight away isn't that uncommon and it doesn't mean things won't work out brilliantly in the end so don't worry about it. It may happen (to any of us) but just let people know if that's what's going on as it can be a sign of PND or even post traumatic stress following the birth and getting some help will make recovery easier. I have a few friends this has happened to.

On the physical side-- do your kegels every day pre-birth and that should hopefully ward off the worst long term side effects of a tough birth. From what I gather, the rest of it always heals in time.

I guess I just want to say, you aren't alone in being scared / mildly horrified by what is coming! Its normal and from my friends who've had kids, I can see that even in the worst case situations, things find their balance and recover over time.

Thanks london just had a wee freaky moment! I know most of us are all on the same position 💜 glad I'm not alone in it all haha x

Shell it is really hard and I was miserable at times after I had DS. There are so many changes to our bodies physically and mentally, and to your relationship and friendships and lifestyle. And then there's the social pressure to be a 'perfect' mum and partner and have a tidy house and all of that stuff that we put on ourselves. It is absolutely worth it though.

I found it really tough, but two years on I'm excited to be doing it again, but this time I'll cut myself a lot more slack and not worry about what anyone else thinks. Most people are in the same boat and I found that telling friends with babies a similar age how I felt meant they opened up to me too which made me feel much less alone.

Due 31st Jan, thought this thread to be Apt :)

Shell just to say you are not alone and I feel the same! Talk to your midwife about it as they will be very experienced in this as I'm sure most mothers feel the same! I have an appointment with the mental health team at the hospital tomorrow as I flagged myself up as a possible pnd person (depression in family history) I reckon the more prepared you are for it and the more you talk about it the more you'll be ok. Xx

I'm 27 weeks today and feeling a bit bleurgh about the weight gain and general uncomfortable feelings, so thought I'd book in and have a hair appointment to cheer myself up. Am I right in thinking I can't dye my hair, or at least, not to the roots during pregnancy? Also contemplating have a fringe cut in, to really mix things up. Oh the wild times of pregnancy!

Curiosity in the book I read, Expecting Better, the author after reviewing the evidence asserted that its perfectly okay to colour your hair. Ask your midwife to be safe but that one might be an antiquated myth like having to sleep on your left side.

Enjoy your day of pampering. I have but on a kilo in water weight in a day! I am going to have to drink some watermelon tonight as that always seems to do the trick and get me back to normal.

Curiosity I asked my midwife (I felt a bit stupid as I thought it was an old wives' tale!) and she said it was fine. My hair is highlighted, not full down to the roots, but she said they tend to say to avoid it not because of any harm, but because our hormones might mean that the dye doesn't work as well as usual!! She told me to go for it, but I still haven't made the appointment!

Excellent! I will get myself booked in, whenever I get a free moment! Thanks ladies!