Due in February 2017 - thread #9

[twocatsandatoddler]

New thread - hope everyone finds this! I'll try and post the link in the old thread if it will let us go over 1,000 posts.

Urgh, I have vomited twice today, including in the car on the 70mi drive back from the ILs (was prepared with a bag full of tissue paper). Of course I am now googling listeriosis...

I have to stay off work for 48 hours from last spew. I was off last Monday with sick DD and the previous Mon after a v poor nights sleep. I only work Mon-Wed. They are going to think I'm taking the piss.

Sorry you're feeling rough Gum. Hope it's a short lived bug and you feel better soon.
Welcome Kirsty. You just need to pm someone you email address and they can add you. I can give it a go if you like? That goes for anyone else as well. It's getting chatty on there too
I had that Motorola monitor and loved it. Unfortunately it broke and I bought it from Amazon so they wouldn't do anything about it. Wish I'd bought it from JL. I'm planning to get another one the same.

I'm not buying much for baby #2 but I want to invest in a 'chair of neglect' (baby swing chair thing that can be used from birth). We didn't have space last time as lived in a small flat but I envied all those that did. Does anyone have a recommendation?

Well today I have put up 4 grey fabric roller blinds. What a bastard of a job that is. Had to trim all 4 of them down to the correct size. Will probably have another 3 to do in the lounge when we get round to decorating that (not till after the baby is born!).

Ready we have a Fisher Price rainforest vibrating bouncer. Best thing ever.

Gum we were looking at the rainforest vibrating bouncer!! We couldn't decide between that and a swing?

Struggled last night to sleep on my left side, so uncomfortable and arm sore from getting my flu jab... so spent most of the night between tossing and turning and sleeping on my right side 🙈 I know they say it doesn't really make a difference any longer...

shell it really has been disproved now - honestly it's more harmful to the baby and to you for you to be getting a shit night's sleep than it is for you to lie on the other side! Please don't worry about it!

I spent half the night on my right side too with a small cushion under my bump. It's starting to feel comfy enough on the right so I'm not too worried.
I sympathise with the arm pain I had flu and whooping cough vaccinations on separate arms and felt like I couldn't sleep on either side! Torture but I'm
Still v glad I got them :) x

Gum sorry to hear you're still suffering! Hopefully work will be understanding

Thanks to those recommending the Motorola for the video monitor. I'll definitely give that one a look.

Ready I've got no experience of it but after a couple of recommendations from people on here we got the Baby Bjorn. A few people in RL also recommended it. It seems to vary baby to baby though. Some prefer the ones with all the bells and whistles and others prefer something simpler. Let's hope we've got it right. What I like about the Bjorn is that it can be folded flat and shoved under the sofa when not in use which is handy as while we have a 4 bed house, its not some big mansion so can look cluttered pretty easily.

Shell it doesn't make a difference. I honestly don't even think about it as I tend to switch sides during the night as too long on either side gives me hip pain. Just get comfy and try to get some rest.

We finally started on the nursery this weekend - half the furniture is up, walls painted, and lots of terrifyingly tiny clothes in the drawers!

As the nursery was full of boxes until now I hadn't realised the decorator hasn't done the skirting boards - I know we are meant to avoid gloss paint but surely it can't be so bad in the 3rd trimester as long as I have all the windows open?

ready I don't know how you coped without a seat last time! We had two to save getting one up and down stairs. I used them for showering/getting ready and beside the table at meal times. We're still using the infant to toddler rocker as a toddler seat now. The downstairs one was a swing which was useful every so often to rock her to sleep when nothing else worked, but if I were to buy again I'd go with a simple bouncer.

london, I just noticed a few of the Motorola baby monitor items are on sale on mothercare, the MBP867 (catchy!) has £100 off, now £129, not sure how good a deal that is but sounds like a good discount.

Thanks piano-- I'll alert my DH as he's in charge of getting this item on our shopping list.

Ladies- I'm feeling quite torn about something at the moment. My mom has offered to move to London to help out with childcare. This is a huge move as she lives in Florida where I originally am from. However, I think we have really different ideas of who this would work. She initially thought she'd be living with us and I told her that's not what we had a mind months ago. Then when we discussed it again last night, she again said she thought she'd be living with us.

I really want to maintain my own private separate family life even though I'm sure we'd all get on. However, I also get she's scared to be in a new city outside of her comfort zone. We'd rent her place within a short walk of our house and that's how we would 'pay' her for child care. Since she'd rent out her own place in the US, she'd be pretty flush, which I think is part of the appeal of the move for her. By the end of our chat she seemed excited about having her own place but part of me worries she's going to need me and DH to be her entire social universe and honestly, I still want to be able to go out just as our smaller family unit and see our friends and stuff like a normal family. Of course, we'd make sure we were spending lots of quality time with my mom but it could be 100% of our free time and I'm worried we could both end up feeling unhappy with the balance.

Has anyone got any experience of parents helping out etc.

The Motorola monitors tend to go on offer at Amazon around black Friday/Christmas. I got ours 2 years ago and one for my parents last year, both around £70 for an MBP36S.

London I am in exactly the same position!! Well, except my mother is only planning to move from Europe. I'm so sorry, I don't have an answer but if you find one will you please let me know?!

Fanella glad you got the gist despite my numerous typos!

I think I'm just going to have to bite the bullet and have a very honest chat with her. It would be so unfair for me to let her to move here under circumstances that made her unhappy but equally I don't want to be unhappy or resentful either.

I might write it all down in an email as otherwise I think I'll chicken out of being as clear as I need to be about what I need regarding boundaries etc! This is too important to just cross fingers and hope for the best though. Time to put on my big girl panties!

I have suggested my mum come to stay with us for a few weeks when the baby is here and am hoping it will be horrific and convince her she definitely needs her own space!

That's another tactic! My mum is coming over for the birth too so that very well might put her off :)

London can you compromise and set a period (a few months, for example) for her be with you to settle in, but agree that she'll move into her own place after that, so it's a less daunting prospect for her than moving countries straight into a place on her own?

Although it depends how long you're prepared to share your home with her though - I personally couldn't cope with even that, as I get wound up if I'm with my mum for more than about 24 hours! My mum is an over-sharer and loves to regale depressing stories about everything in her family's or friends' lives and it drives me nuts!

Also, I can't remember who on here recommended vitamin D supplements as something to try when I was feeling really low a few weeks ago, but I've been taking them and have felt so much better, so thank you! I still have periods of feeling exhausted and overwhelmed but it's about 10 times better than it was.

So glad you feel better with Vitamin D twocats ! I found they helped me a lot when I had anxiety and was trying to get out of a terrible job, my iron + vit D levels were really low and I feel a lot better since I d been taking the supplements.

That's a difficult situation london and fenella I don't have experience of it but a friend was in a similar situation )though didn't have a baby), but her mum was on her own and being Chinese it was more of a cultural thing that generations live together.

I think my advice to her was to really delve into what sort of life her mum wanted and already had. I.e. did she have a lot of friends and hobbies already that filled up her time, or was she quite lonely and looking for a new "hobby" (you). If that was the case, that would raise flags for me.

My mum's the opposite, she just moved from Scotland to the south coast and doesn't want to live near us (cheers!!) or her sister in Kent and fills her days up with various clubs etc. fitting us in when it suits her.

So if asking your mum or telling her what you expect might upset her, how about asking if she would like to travel in Europe/UK or send her some info on local activities. I'm not sure how old she is but mine has had a new lease of life since joining the U3A, google it... If she says she's not interested or won't have time with the baby etc, then you have your answer I think.

Twocats that's not a bad idea. However, she's already said now she is okay having her own place. I think I just want to make sure she doesn't expect us to spend every minute of free time with her.

Piano my mom makes friends quite easily and is quite active in her community so I reckon once she finds a church she likes etc she'll be fine. I just don't want her to come over expecting us to replace her entire social life in the US as that's too much pressure. I'm going to be honest about it. I want to see her as much as typical children who live close to their parents do. Once a week for dinner and then casually every day with the baby I think is the most I could promise and she kind of needs to be okay with filling the rest of her time with activities and making new friends. Not from day one of course but over time that needs to be the plan. Initially we'd expect to see her loads more than that for sure as its a big unsettling move and I don't want her to be lonely.

So quiet today! What's everyone up to?