Thread 12 TTC#1 Grads. "You are my favourite thing that ever shit all over my hands"

[AudreyBradshaw]

Behold, the wonder of birth! Members from 6 weeks bfp to post-partum wonder Mamas! No question to grotty or minging.

We've come full circle from obsessing about cervical mucus to now obsessing if it's our vagina baby plug going! What larks!

Lots of talk about poo, ours and now babies too! Baby brain is REAL! This heat can kiss my arse. And who KNEW being so neurotic about which changing mat to buy could be so satisfying and addictive!

Sooo many gorgeous babies now! And equally lovely Mummy's! We are amazing! What a year! Can you believe it's been a year since our first tentative TTC thread!? Look how far we've come!

Roll up, literally, in my case, cause I'm practically rotund! for TTC #1 Grads!

bunch asda have little pumpkin and frankenstein costumes in - they're adorable!

pink oh no, I hope your boobs get sorted! I'm really panicky about mastitis so I hope it's not the makings of that.

indi I have jelly belly but it's starting to firm up now. You have an amazingly toned body so I don't think you need to worry at all.

potato I have a gro bag thermometer too. If you have a room thermometer I can post a photo of the guidelines? We're currently at 21 degrees and it recommends just a long sleeved vest underneath a 1 tog which doesn't sound a lot to me! I'm not using them yet as they have to be 8lb 8oz for the ones I have so am just using sleepsuits and a blanket. I'm not convinced I have it cracked yet so still panicking he's too hot/cold.

bunch I hope Atticus has another settled night for you. He's a good boy letting mummy sleep. Perhaps he could have a word in Harrison's ear

audrey please do! I'm still a little bit horse mad and your sisters horse sounds awesome.

Really sorry to anyone I've missed. OH is back at work on Friday so am trying to spend as much time together as a family before I go it alone. I will be better, promise!

We've been out and about all day today despite my little milk monster cluster feeding. He's outgrowing things rapidly so will be interesting when he gets weighed tomorrow. He enjoyed the lunch put but he wasn't impressed with the coffee shop or the shopping so he fell asleep for most of it.

Our bath seat for him came yesterday so we tried it out tonight with OH in the bath with him. Sooooo much better than holding him in a baby bath! He didn't scream and actually really enjoyed it. Then I cuddled him dry which is obviously the best moment for him to wee on me he's now in his pyjamas and OH is armed with a bottle of expressed milk so I can have a bath in peace! I know I'm not supposed to express after only 2 weeks but I do need to wash and could do with actually brushing my hair too.

indi I'm seeing the consultant on 7th oct to get the date. Excited! I've had exactly the same thoughts about c section and my body after, but I just keep reminding myself that I was a c section birth and my mum has the flattest stomach ever. I think having had good muscle tone before will help, and the rest will just take time to settle down afterwards. I'm trying to promise myself I won't stress about it for at least three months after baby is born as that will allow time for a decent scar and for the local swelling to go down. After that I'm going to pay a personal trainer lots of money to abuse me!

marmite I'm so sorry your family were rubbish about your happy news. Infertility must be hideous but equally you can't delay your own plans and it's not your fault your sister hasn't conceived. Hugs to you.

audrey get a picture up! I've never attempted side saddle, I can't believe your sister is jumping! miley do you still have your horse? Mine is semi retired and lives with my parents but part of my baby negotiations involved dh saying I never have to work full time again and can have another horse once the baby is in school....playing the long game here!

MIL is going tomorrow, thank god. I feel terrible but I'm tired of feeling uptight in my own home, tired of the tv being permanently tuned to property shows and tired of her always lapsing into her own language and shutting me out of the conversation. I did take the afternoon off work and took her out for a nice lunch today to ease my guilty conscience, but I am so ready for some space now!

Thanks guys for the words of wisdom, has really helped I know that we've done the best thing we could and we can't do anything else and can't be responsible for their behaviour.

Hope you enjoyed your peaceful bath Miley!

We've been out for dinner for DHs actual birthday today and now I'm off bed as can hardly keep my eyes open!

Hope bumps and babies have a good sleep tonight

Pictures of sister now on instagram

canters you're a saint, I definitely couldn't put up with any of my in-laws for longer than a few hours! Never mind in my actual house!

Audrey thanks for the ointment suggestion. I'll try to get some when I take Arya to be weighed on Wednesday.

Indi Wonder Woman costume was from ASDA. I'll try to remember to photograph it tomorrow

Bunch id love your spare thermometer. I'll PM you my address tomorrow

Miley sounds like Arya is too small for gro bags as she's under 8lb. Still, no harm being prepared!
Glad LO enjoyed his bath, Arya had one this morning and screamed the house down lol.

Feeling a bit grumpy this evening. OH has asked me to make more of an effort with his kids... I thought I was
I appear to be starting my first post pregnancy period, Arya is getting reflux every time I put her down and my brain is doing that annoying thing where it's going round in circles reminding me of every stupid thing I've ever done, everything that's gone wrong and every disappointment. Why the he he do brains do that when you're tired but can't sleep???
Oh and OH is snoring loudly

canters unfortunately not. I had to have him PTS after the vet misdiagnosed laminitis for an abscess in his foot I figured you must have been horsey too! I keep thinking about another but the right side of my brain talks me out of it because they're such a huge commitment. Maybe when Harrison is older though!

Audrey your sister looks absolutely ace! I'm so impressed. Her horse is beautiful too.

Bloody hell potato! More of an effort?! You sound like you're brilliant with them as it is never mind more attention with a newborn. Poor Arya acid reflux sounds awful for her. Harrison is number 1 top grump tonight if it helps. He sleeps til I put my head on my pillow then has a breakdown

Miley canters can I join the horsey club? Still have my pony who was my 6th birthday present now he is 36 this year!

Potato we are in a reflux stage too I see him start to retch if I can get him over the shoulder quick enough it saves some of the puking up situations! Also means he is fast asleep up there now but bringing him down so I can sleep is risky...

Lots going on so sorry if I forget things....

Lisa sounds like you had an awful time. The rat bite sounds horrendous, hope you're ok.

Marmite as others have said it sounds like you dealt with it as sensitively as you could. Hopefully once they've all had time to digest the news they'll be able to be happy for you.

Congrats and welcome art !

Pink are your boobs sore? Are they over-full? I think as others have said massaging them should help as well as expressing if you're not able to get as much milk out as you need to. And if you think it is mastitis definitely get in touch with the dr.

Re gro bags - I have a gro- snug which is for babies from 5lbs up ( to 12lbs I think) so ideal for Alexa. You can also use poppers on the side to keep the arms in so its more like a swaddle or have them out as normal. They come in a light tog and a cosy so I've been using the light tog one with Alexa in a long sleeved body. As bunch mentioned, with each gro bag you get a thermometer in the pack which advises on what to wear with each temperature so I find that really useful.

Acid reflux sounds horrible for babies - and mummies if it means disturbed sleep!

I'm up doing a long feed. DH has been up with Alexa from 2 until now because she was refusing to sleep anywhere but on us. It's his last week off work this week and am dreading him going back as he's been amazing and there's no way he'll be able to help out in the night like he's been doing.

I'm off to baby cinema club with NCT girls today. We're watching Bridget Jones. We take the babies and get served cake in the cinema - sounds great!

Waves to everyone I've missed.

soda that sounds amazing - wish we had a group like that! I'm going to start going to the breastfeed support group when OH is back at work. I think I have one of the gro snugs at the bottom if his drawers so will hunt that out!

nev that's amazing and what a brilliant age! Really hope we don't hit reflux...how do you know that's what it is?

Harrison has fed every hour and a half for 10-20 mins again so I'm shattered. Little bugger!

Miley I probably could put in more effort with them but I've been focusing all my energy on Arya, and making sure OH doesn't feel neglected and getting my web coding skills up to scratch and all that while being tired all the time.

Nev I'm very lucky in that once Arya is asleep 9 times out of 10 I can do what I want with her

Soda the cinema sounds great. I can't wait until I'm comfortable driving again so that we can get out and about during the day without the drama of having to walk.

So, third night in a row with only one night feed, yay! She did this before once though and then regressed so I don't want to get too excited

potato I'd ask him to detail how exactly he'd like you to make more effort! Do this if possible whilst holding the baby. I think I'd have gone a bit mad at that point! Poor Arya with reflux!

lisa Omg! I like domesticated rats , I used to keep them, but an outside rat would probably finish me off!

I'm exhausted. Possibly hitting the wall a bit now after 6 months of trying to be super positive. Dh is making NO effort to go to sleep at a normal time, so won't get up in the morning. He keeps waking me up at 4:30 am when he decided to finally go to sleep and I'm so worn out I could cry. Because then I'm up all day, and he's like "go for at nap" I can't go for a nap because you don't keep the dogs quiet! Unlike me! And apparently this morning at 5 am when he sneezed, loudly, directly next to my head and I complained "he's sick and tired of my bullshit" and because he's bored, he's frustrated, but he's taking it out on me, and he thinks he's being superman, but he's not, I don't give a fuck if the kitchen cupboards are tidy, I'd rather you got up and did the dogs breakfasts while I have a lie in! Sorry, long winded rant. It's starting to affect me now, the stress I think. I'm not even slightly exited anymore about having a baby, it just seems to have been a long slog of propping dh up emotionally, and I'm drained tbh. It's probably just because im tired. Sorry guys.

Miley he will start to gag and retch and most times is then sick. If he is kept quite upright for half an hour after feeding then it largely prevents it. Doesnt help he is so greedy either though!

Oh stardrey Don't apologise on here, vent away. I always find if DH is being a knob and won't hear it verbally if I send him an email explaining how he's being he suddenly gets it. I guess it helps as it takes the emotion out of it, I'm not crying or shouting at him at that moment.

Potato I'll get it in the post as soon as I get your address. It's nothing special, it's a cardboard thing but it's really good to know what tog to put them in. I've found out that Atticus is (as my mum would say) meshy. He feels the cold. So he's in tog 2.5 even though it doesn't feel cold enough to me, but the thermometer is suggesting either a 1 or a 2.5 grobag so he's not far off what is suggested anyway.

Miley I've been up since 2am with Atticus on my chest. I've managed to doze as I propped myself up but it sucks non the less. Try nap today.

Thanks bunch I teared up at your kindness, I know realistically I'm being unreasonable because im so tired but I feel like everything is being left to me at the moment. He doesn't understand technology so I have to do all cv/email/job/admin related everything, even if he did understand it he's dyslexic and gets really flustered so comes across as illiterate. And what's really really getting to me this week is that I KNEW this was going to happen. I've been "nagging" apparently since last Christmas for him to change jobs, if he'd done this 6 months ago we wouldn't be looking at the possibility of a court case, no income especially if he loses his badge/it gets suspended, no entitlement to paternity leave/pay whatsoever. So the reality of now that I'll be doing it pretty much completely on my own from day one, my DM will be working, Sister/dad won't be able to help and dh will be off at work (providing he still can) I can't afford to have a c-section/birth complications because I'll be alone 90% of the time. And if I'm already this tired then how am I going to cope with a newborn too. Literally just thinking what the fuck have I done? Sorry guys, jees, lack of sleep really does mess with your head!

sorry to hear you are feeling down audrey

You definite need to talk about things with your OH, otherwise you are just going to get more and more stressed out by it.

Is the job you mentioned for your OH still a possibility? My OH started a new job three days after Evelyn was born, having been made redundant earlier this year. It wasn't ideal timing, but the main thing is I coped, and you will too. When there is a new baby to look after, it's amazing what you can do by yourself and on limited sleep. Just take each day as it comes and don't put any pressure on yourself. Also make it clear to your OH that he will need to help when he gets home from work each day, given you will have been looking after baby all day. I'm sure your DM will be keen to visit too around her work!

miley, Harrison sound like a hungry little thing! How much weight has he gained so far? Evelyn is three weeks old tomorrow and has gained 15oz She's getting chunky!

bunch, sorry to hear about the lack of sleep.

I asked my health visitor about my sore boob. She said it is either a blocked duct or the beginnings of mastitis and to feed as much as possible from that boob and to go to the doctors if it gets worse, so I'll be keeping an eye on it.

pink he had gained 8oz by his 10 day check but he gets weighed again today. He's a total milk monster! I expressed 3oz just incase he cried when I had a bath last night and he drank the whole thing then wanted boob. Health visitor is over the moon as prems don't tend to feed very well at first but I'm really concerned I won't be able to keep up with him! Wow, Evelyn is gaining like a champ, it sounds like she's absolutely thriving

Audrey I felt like that when I was tired. I'm so sorry you're having a shit time but please don't let you DH bring you down. Give him a hoof up the sphincter for me and have a completely selfish day doing what you want.

bunch we have lots of visitors and OHs flying lesson today, Harrison also sounds very gravely so am concerned he has a sore throat. I feel naps are completely out of the question today. Is it rude to disappear for a sleep when MIL is here? Hope you manage to rest plenty

Oh you guys, thank you! I actually feel better after a bit of a rant and a 5 minute weep. It's tiredness, and worry. But I'm going to have a shower and shake it off now. All shall be well!

Got all excited thinking I was having braxton hicks....nope, just needed to fart.

Bloody hell fire though, baby doin stretching or yoga or something in there! Tres uncomfortable!

miley stick Harrison in her arms and go for a well deserved nap!
pink I've heard hot water in the bath and sort of rolling your hands down the boob in a similar way to expressing is a way of relieving sore possibly blocked boobs.

I can't believe how much longer it takes to do things with a baby! Missed the bus I was planning to catch because little man wanted second helpings of breakfast.

Audrey so sorry you're feeling fed up. It's ok to have a rant and cry sometimes, it's impossible to be positive all the time. Do you have a spare room that DH can sleep in so he's not waking you up? I'm terribly emotional when I'm tired too and everything seems like the worst thing in the world, I'm sure you're just knackered and stressed and it's all getting on top of you. As others have said you WILL cope when baby arrives, I think it's like a survival mummy instinct, so please don't worry about not looking after baby properly because you'll be an amazing mum whatever the circumstances. Hopefully DH will start his new job ASAP so you don't have to have financial worries on your mind and I'm sure your mum will visit when she's not in work. Sending you lots of love, have a nice chilled day and try to nap if the dogs will allow it! (I always find giving my dogs a new toy or a denti stick and throwing them out in the garden for an hour does the trick).

Pink hope your boob is ok and it's not mastitis. Keep an eye on it and give it a massage like others have said.

Miley/bunch sorry you haven't had much sleep. Those bad boys keeping their mums up! I hope you haven't got much planned for the day and can catch up on rest at some point.

Soda enjoy Bridget Jones, it was really good and enjoy the cake

Sorry to anyone I've missed but I hope you're all doing well.
No news here except I have a hemorrhoid my poor nether regions are having a bad time atm! Maybe it becuase I'm having a ELCS so it's like i have to make up for sore bits in other ways than pushing a baby out

10 days til Beanie b'day if all goes smoothly and I don't go early/my date doesn't change!

leonie yes! Several times I've been late because of second helpings. I'm one of those annoying people who likes to be 10 minutes early on time for everything so it's annoying but I'm getting used to it!

Audrey I'm glad you feel better. Pregnancy hormones coupled with your difficult situation really is a recipe for disaster. Look after yourself

Well the same incompetent HV came this morning and swears blind her scales weren't faulty and Harrison managed to gain 14oz in less than 24 hours And apparently I should have still been giving him top ups despite him gaining weight perfectly fine and the midwife and BF support lady telling me they weren't required. She seemed to be a bit put out that he was 6lb 15oz when he was weighed today and had to admit that top ups weren't necessary for him because he's gained 7oz in 4 days. He's following the 9th centile on his growth chart so I'm pleased with him.

OHs flying lesson cancelled so off out for fish and chips and ice cream

I really don't mind being kept up all night when I get cuddles like this

Awww miley he is so beautiful, and you look amazing! Thank you, I think I just got a but hormonal amd overwhelmed, I'd usually ring my dm and have a whinge but my Mam and Dad are in Tuscany sunning themselves, apparently it's will be their "last child free holiday for a while"

Thanks indi it definitely was/is hormones plus stress. I had a nap and had a weep at dh and now feel infinitely better. You're right about survival instinct, it will all kick in, we will be fine! I'm stressing about what ,y tummy will look like too, Dh keeps telling me we'll get my body back together but it's that fear of what if I never look the same again?!

Feeling better now we've thought of a few boys names now too, was getting freaked out because actually having a baby is still a really weird concept, like, I know I have one inside my person, I find it fascinating to watch my belly move and jump, but I don't love the baby yet, and I got all freaked out to dh that I wouldn't love the baby and it wouldn't love me and he was all lovely and calm and like "babe, it'll be fine, you know what you're like, you'll love it when you meet it! It will all be fine" Clearly my hormones are aaaaall over the shop this week!

Miley you and Harrison both look gorgeous. I can't wait for Beanie snuggles. That HV sounds like an incompetent moron, just go with what you feel is right and if his weight is going up and the other HV is happy then ignore her. Well done to Harrison little boob monster growing so quick!

Audrey Jesus I've had so many days where I think OMG what have I done? How will I cope with a baby? What will my body look like? What if me and DH don't have the same relationship anymore? I could go on...but we just have to trust the fact that we are doing the right thing and as soon as we meet our little wriggly humans everything will fall in to place. Glad you're feeling better anyway, hormonal rants/cries are totally normal. Plus I get the thing about wanting to phone your mum, I speak to mine between 5-10 times a day so if she doesn't answer or is working and I can't rant to her I get stressed even more!
What are the boys names you've decided on? If you want to tell

Audrey we've all had moments like that. It took me right up until labour to actually fully realise I was having an actual baby and I had no idea how to look after one. They poo, wee and sick on you as well as keeping you up at night but when your little human is here you won't care at all! Harrison has an in-built nack for letting all bodily fluids out when his nappy is off and I have on several occasions picked him up off his changing mat out of a puddle of his own wee or poo to cuddle him because he was upset. You do just muddle through and cope. It's such a lovely feeling though knowing that you and baby are learning how to do it all together.

indi I worried about all of that too. I think it's brought me and OH closer together because we have to work as a team. I sit and milk my titties in front of him and he was laughing at my hairy moo earlier. He swears down he's never loved me more and that he's seen me in a totally different light after carrying baby and going through childbirth to then get on and cope as a first time mum. I worried so much about my belly and if I'd get stretch marks etc but I'm now more concerned about when I'm going to sleep or if I have time to have a bath without milk monster demanding a visit to the booby cafe. You will be absolutely fine, honest. It'll all work itself out and you'll wonder why you ever worried