Due in February 2017....thread 5!

[SkyLucy]

Thread five for the chattiest bunch of preggers ladies you've ever had the pleasure of encountering. We're greeting the second trimester with excitement and apprehension, and lots of questions, humour, reassurance, empathy and advice.

Fourth thread here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2684139-february-2017-thread-4-are-we-the-chattiest-bunch-or-what

Sorry you had a bad experience dreaming although congrats on scan!

In my experience you get a real mix of healthcare professionals during your pregnancy and labour so unfortunately you can't guarantee who you'll end up getting in labour! I had a lovely midwife and doctor for the first half of my labour, and then when the shifts changed the next midwife, who ended up being the one there for my c-section, was really abrupt and had a bad bedside manner, and the new registrar was really patronising and talked to DH and I as if we were stupid, whereas the previous one had been great.

Scotty that's really tough. Your friend was totally unfair and being a bit cruel to make you feel that way. I totally sympathize with how terrible you must have felt.

On my TTC thread, there were a few women who suffered terribly with infertility and miscarriages and even seeing a birth announcement on FB was enough to throw them into a really dark place. I had no idea before that how difficult some people found it.

In my own life, a cousin (who was like a sister) was supposed to be one of my bridesmaids and then pulled out and stopped responding to emails etc. I knew I'd done nothing wrong so just let it go and figured she'd explain herself at some point. She came to the wedding and she explained that at the time she'd broken up with her partner (her baby's father) after he cheated on her and just found the idea of my happy engagement too much to take. They got back together by my wedding (and have been happily married themselves now for years).

I guess my point is, if she isn't generally a bad person and eventually apologizes, I think you can find a way to move forward if its really a close and important relationship. Personal struggles can make people act in ways they are really ashamed of. I'm just grateful I haven't been tested in that way (knock on wood) as while I'd like to think I'm a bigger person than that, I don't really know...

Dreaming congrats on the scan! Sorry, you've not been treated well. I've seen a real mix of attitudes in maternity. While about 90% have been terrific, there were a couple of real cows in the EPU which given most people there are really distressed is shameful really.

Scotty I haven't bought anything besides some loose dresses to accommodate changing shape. I don't have a baby on board pass yet, I still need my NHS card for free dental care, etc etc. Work has just kicked up a gear too so who knows when I'll get around to it all.

scotty that's not nice of your friend. Whilst I found it hard to hear others happy news while I so desperately wanted happy news of my own I never ever would have let them know, or worse punish them for it.
Deep down I was happy for them, I'd never want anyone not to experience their happiness, all pain and disappointment was kept at home between me and my dh.
But then I agree with what others have said about the coke, my initial thought was she can't want it that bad if she's getting high all the time, putting herself at risk let alone if she was pregnant.
But then I also have to think has she gone down this path as she's finding life harder to cope with than we know?

twocats and london thanks, I know that most of the NHS staff are wonderful, realistically this is my first bad experience amongst many great ones.
I may have caught them on a bad day, I know that sometimes things happen and I don't give my clients 100% all the time through different reasons.
At least my surgery where my midwife is are wonderful and that's who I'll deal with more than anything!

Hi pretty. I was 13+2 when the lady told me in no uncertain terms I was having a boy! So I think they can tell that early on

I should add, I knew what was happening with my cousin at the time but just hadn't put two and two together...

Dremaing that's fair. When I went to the EPU the receptionist repeatedly asked me if I was sure I was pregnant (I was 7 weeks and had been referred by SELDOC)...which I thought was really insensitive.

On the flip side, at my scan yesterday a hormonal woman (also there for 12 week scan) yelled at the reception staff and the sonographer for keeping her waiting (she was there the same amount of time as me). I think sometimes they get a bit hardened by having to deal with the more difficult members of the public and the chronic staffing shortages. I think A&E and maternity suffer the most with that.

Pretty I think they can tell. I know I'm having a girl because of the DNA test we did (Panorama which is similar to Harmony).

I mentioned this to the sonographer yesterday and all he said was that he wasn't allowed to officially confirm at this stage but he did seem to agree. I think the new technology actually allows them to tell much earlier now but the NHS guidelines haven't officially caught up.

By 12 weeks girls already have ovaries. Given they can see the bladder and heart and other organs in such amazing detail, I'm sure they can see reproductive organs too.

Congrats!

London and dreaming thanks for your replies. You're right London, she isn't generally a bad person but does have a reputation for being a bit selfish but not in a malicious way. I know she will really have struggled with the news and I totally understand that. I think it was the shock of her behaviour that got me the most. My DP thinks it was maybe her way of trying to show me that she isn't bothered by the news and that she doesn't intend to let it get her down. I will see how things go from here, we live miles apart so it's not like we're in touch or see each other everyday. I hope we'll be able to stay friends but I'm still pretty angry so not best placed to make that decision! I'm not bothered about an apology, I just want her to tell me if anything I'm saying/doing is making things harder for her so I can avoid those things.
Dreaming, she has always done recreational drugs. She's the only one of our group who has and she has never done it when it's just been our group out, usually when we've met up with a different group of her friends as well. I just assumed she would have put a stop to all that now given her struggle and the fact she has a job with such responsibility (which she would lose if they found out she was doing drugs). Again though you could be right about it being a coping mechanism.

london I'm so reluctant to buy anything new yet. My body is definitely changing and I'm so bloated in the evenings that I look very pregnant! I can still fit in my jeans and I generally wear floaty tops anyway so hoping I can get away with it for a bit longer.

Oh, that's lucky Scotty! Despite losing 10 pounds so far, I can't fit into any of my skirts or pants (they can close but are too uncomfortable)!

I haven't bought maternity clothes though. Just loose dresses that I could wear pregnant or not pregnant. If I can avoid maternity clothes I think I will as it seems such a waste of money. I live in dresses anyway even in the winter so I won't need maternity jeans etc.

twocats thanks for your reply also, about the travel system. I'd also thought of the thing with the carry cot maybe having had the previous occupant be sick in it! We'd definitely look at replacing mattresses etc where possible.

We're going to have a look at it tonight anyway, even if we use it as a benchmark and it doesn't turn out to be right for us, at least we'll start to slowly get an idea of what's out there, how it feels/looks etc.

I'm another who isn't yet in maternity stuff either. Like you London, I live in dresses so right now I can get away with keeping them going in the wardrobe. I think if anything, I'd like to try and just buy a few more pairs of things like leggings and really only buy the bare minimum maternity stuff - maybe the key things like nursing bra/tops later on, rather than a wardrobe full of stuff.

Do you all have big bumps?xx

My bump isn't big but its definitely there! At times its seems huge but that was mostly gas

I have to be in a bikini on Friday as I'm off to Spain (yay) and had to buy new tops as my boobs more than anything else have really gotten bigger.

This is my bump from above, I can't get a decent side on shot without a child photo bombing it....

12w scan went well. Baby is a lazy little toad! Was lying on his/her side, facing towards us but head tucked down and legs tucked up. Sonongrapher needed baby either on it's back or lying with it's back to us so she could get the measurements to date me. She tried pressing, she had me on the bed, off the bed, "can you roll side to side for a few seconds?", I had to raise up a little bit and then let me hips flop back onto the bed. And what did the baby do? Rolled over so we cheered..... and the little tinker kept going until it had done a full 360 degree turn and was back in its original position. Then it put its hands over its head as if to say "kindly bugger off, one is trying to have a sleep". So we had to start again with the rocking and on/off the bed.

My money is on it being a girl, this is exactly what DD was like at her scans.

Baby eventually cooperated and due date is now 19th Feb. That was DS2's due date, I had my 12w scan with him on 9th August and my 20w scan on 4th October. They've booked my 20w scan this time for 4th October

Have arrived for our little mini break away and on the drive down here we had the news we have exchanged contracts on our property purchase!!! So we complete on the 30/08. Plenty of time before missy is born!! So happy. No more insecurities of renting!!

Uber what a great pic ( both of them!!) so cute that your baby's all tucked up asleep! I'm in the exact same position on my bed at the mo. Lazy days!

I'm so jealous! I'm currently on a bus, would much rather be asleep.

Shell I wouldn't say big at all but the lady in the health food shop commented it's a 'small neat bump' (we were chatting about it all!) it feels big to me especially when lying down as its a bit uncomfortable! Have to wedge a small cushion to support it! But that's just probably me being weird!

I'm gonna have a huge shock when I go back to full time teaching!!!

Congrats on the scan pics today! And on your property purchase diva, so exciting! Have a lovely time away!

I'm glad you mentioned travel, it's my day for questions today! Ladies, would you consider a trip to Texas around weeks 21-24 or so? I ask because the DP and I were meant to be going away in Jan for his birthday, which isn't gonna happen now due to how far along I'll be!

So, there's the option to shift it forward, which I'm happy with in principle. I've done zika research and though it's in Florida it isn't at all reported in Texas at the moment. I guess there's the long-ish haul flight to think about - 8 hours or so - but a quick trawl of other mumsnet threads reveals most ladies were ok with flying around this time... I guess I don't know what I'm asking really! I'd love to go on holiday, especially to Texas, where we've always wanted to go, but I'm looking for pregnancy-travel stories! I've already left a message with the midwife to canvass her opinion on whether it seems advisable or not.... I want one final holiday as a twosome!

Hmm Iv got a tiny wee bump but looks like tummy fat if u know what I mean but not flabby?! I'm sure it will grow soon....

Can't get used to sleeping on my left side only.

kiki I'm abit wary about this Zika virus but if it's not there then could always give it a go... just keep a wee eye on it?

I've got no personal experience I'm afraid, but I'm sure I remember reading in one of the books we were given that the second trimester is the ideal time to travel.

I haven't got a proper bump yet, i've just looked like I was bloated for a while. But it's starting to round off around the bottom now, so in certain clothes it's starting to look more like a little baby bump and less like I just ate all the pies

Congrats to all the successful scans today