Due in February 2017....thread 5!

[SkyLucy]

Thread five for the chattiest bunch of preggers ladies you've ever had the pleasure of encountering. We're greeting the second trimester with excitement and apprehension, and lots of questions, humour, reassurance, empathy and advice.

Fourth thread here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2684139-february-2017-thread-4-are-we-the-chattiest-bunch-or-what

Hi Wonderlust!

I had exactly the same with my partner, he refused to acknowledge is for a couple of weeks as he was going through interview and induction for his new job and felt like he couldn't handle it. He is now more excited than me!

Evergreen, I have my scan this morning! I am so nervous! Really hoping I get a nice midwife/scanner that tells me the sex!

Morning lovely ladies.

evergreen you have a stressful week. Don't worry about a driving test. My daughter just failed for the 3rd time in 6 months on Monday and I know how upsetting it can be. Think of the wonderful wedding you have on Friday! And you get to see bubs tomorrow!!

Loving all the other scan pictures. So lovely to see all the good news.

I am still waiting for a GP appointment. Gahhhh. And also still waiting for my harmony test results. It's 6 working days today so may call them later on and see if they have them back. It seems like forever.

Thank you for your message SkyLucy. Yes, this will be my first. And I agree completely, happy I found this group.

I hope your scan goes well, and you're able to find out, AshOutside. Where I live, they won't tell you the sex, you have to get a private scan to find out. (Which I am definitely going to do!) Surely, it must be obvious sometimes in the 20 week scan, though!

Thanks ladies...

Sounds bad but my scan is at 11.45 so once I'm finished I'm going up to my parents and my grans to tell them! My sis and bro and dad etc all don't know so I will tell them at least and my best friend. Then I won't announce anywhere else until DHS family know. That was my only concern that my family (my parents etc) found out about hers before me if you get me.. plus she doesn't arrive til late afternoon heehee xx

Good luck ash

evergreen i didn't really sleep well either. Still so nervous for tomorrow!

wonderlust I'm pretty sure they are not allowed to discriminate and not offer you the contract. There is a date by which you have to tell your employer, but I think it's 20-something weeks so no need to tell them now. And that's to do with registering for maternity pay I think, so if you're a contractor and not entitled to mat pay from your employer you might just have to give them the notice that's in your contract if you wanted to leave, whatever that is.

You might be entitled to maternity allowance from the government, have you looked into it? Although my friend who is a primary school teacher but a contractor didn't get it because she didn't get paid over the summer holidays. Worth looking into though!

As to going back to work at 6 weeks - dads usually go back after 2 weeks paternity leave so it's certainly manageable in terms of sleepless nights and tiredness if your roles are reversed and your partner is taking on the childcare responsibilities. However, men don't give birth, so they don't have the recovery issues! I wouldn't have been ready physically at 6 weeks after my emergency caesarian. It'll also be difficult if you're planning to breastfeed. Personally I'd have taken at least 3 months to feel ready to return last time (I went back to work when DS was 10 1/2 months) but every situation is different and you might feel ok at 6 weeks.

Hi everyone,

Nice to see so many scan pictures!

We have ours tomorrow followed by a blood test. Roughly how long do ultrasounds take? This is our first pregnancy.

Thanks!

Thanks Cinderella evergreen and scottish.

evergreen all the best people fail first time you'll be fine in a couple months when there's a bit less stress on you with wedding and scans out the way. From my pregnancy with my dd I remember the 2nd tri as being really good, actually have a bump, it's out in the open but you're not so huge yet that you feel like a whale....!

Welcome wonder. I'm no expert but I am
Pretty sure you are under no obligation to inform an employer until 15 weeks prior to due date. I wouldn't in your case. I'm going to tell my employer before that but that's cos I'm a permanent employee. You need to
do whats best for you and your family.

Good luck to all the scans today

I have my booking and scan next Wednesday, with the specialist midwife as I've come through miscarriage clinic. I'll be 11+3 so I'm hoping they'll be able to do the NT scan.

Thanks for your message twocatsandatoddler, I hadn't thought before about if I have to have a caesarian it taking longer to recover. I'm in the same boat as your friend, I don't get paid during the summer. I think I'll make a few calls though next week to find our whether I'll be able to get any financial support.

LacieLee, that's true. I've been thinking that I should be fair to my employer, and give as much notice as possible etc. However, considering my position is less certain, I think it might be better to protect myself a bit more and hang on before letting them know.

Mshepp, I had a scan at 8 weeks (got the dating scan on Friday). The first one was just to check if everything was okay, and only lasted about 20 minutes at most. Though if you're there for blood tests also (and to go through any questions etc), I'd allow a bit more time.

Wonderlust I had similar pains last week which were bad enough to call the hospital. A midwife reassured me that it's just stretching and totally normal around this point but to make sure you get in touch if paracetamol and a bath doesn't help to ease the pain. Hope you feel better soon!

mshepp I think it depends on the who does the scan and whether baby is co-operating or not! Mine took about 30-40 mins because baby wouldn't keep still and the sonographer was pretty determined to get accurate measurements. I don't remember it taking that long with DC1 though!

mshepp my scan took 25 mins as i had a wriggler and i got like 13 photos lol

Wonder - i have been getting pains too, i was told to take paracetamol and a nice warm bath. Also this time and last pregnancy both employers have said in their procedure i dont need to inform them until 15 weeks before due date xxx

Welcome Wonder. I was going to say similar to twocats I also had an emergency c-section and was no way physically ready to go back after 6 weeks. I know some women can but it must be so hard. You're tired, hormonal and still recovering at that stage. Also if you breastfeed it will be tricky. I personally wouldn't have felt ready to leave a tiny baby at that stage. You might not be emotionally ready and a lot of babies just want their mums when they're so little. Don't underestimate the power of hormones and the bond you will form.
mshepp scans are usually around 15/20 minutes but last time I was there for over 2 hours. I had to go back in 3 times because dd wouldn't behave. I don't think this is unusual!
Good luck with the scans today

Hi mshepp with ds we were stuck waiting as it was uber busy but the appt was about 15-15-20 mins once they pinned down the potato shape that was ds!

Wonder, I know lots of mums (especially in America where maternity leave provision is poor) manage to go back to work a matter of weeks after giving birth so it is possible. But I have a few friends who planned to go back at 3 months and they all ended up handing in their notice as they didn't like being away from their child. It isn't an easy thing to do - although as I say, lots do cope. The earliest that friends went back to work with relative ease was 6 months.

I will be going back at 6 months and was definitely ready to go back from about 4 months last time, although it was nice to do a bit of weaning before I went back. I had a natural birth but still wasn't properly recovered (physically, mentally & hormonally) at 6 weeks.

Any news from today' scans???

Thanks again for all the messages of support

Panicking a bit here as scan is tomorrow and I am having cramps. No bleeding but still worried. I cant wait. The nerves.

Who else is going for scan tomorrow??

evergreen we will be fine!! I'm panicking abit too!!

So today I am pure carbed out!! Had a sandwich, crisps and just had chips!! Seems that today the bad stuff is helping with the nausea!!

evergreen we will be fine! Will be glad when it's tomorrow afternoon... I have been panicking abit today also!

So today I have pure carbed it to the max... had a sandwich, crisps and just had chips 🙈 seems the bad stuff is helping with the nausea!!
Still having major constipation issues 😣 sorry for the tmi

Hi evergreen! Please try not to worry too much - I got myself into such a state that I was almost numb the morning of my scan as I think I went into self-protection mode. I'm still having cramps even having successfully seen my little one on the screen - midwife said mine were just down to everything stretching and moving and so hopefully the same for you! Good luck for your scan tomorrow

Good luck shell, keeping fx for you tomorrow

Shell!!!!! AHHHHHHHH
How will we sleep tonight??!!!!!

Scottish I hope you are right and things are just streching!

Evening ladies.

evergreen I am having all sorts of cramps. And I have had a bleed and a strong fighter in there still so keep positive!!!

I have finally had my harmony test results back. 1:10000 for all abnormalities so well happy!!! And to add to the growing collection of February births it's a GIRL!!!! I don't think we have had a boy yet from those that definitely know on here have we? Girls are taking over!!

Ever I still don't know how to drive. I think I am going to do an intensive 1 week course sometime during my second trimester. Normally I'd be going home for Christmas this year in the US, but as Zika has broken out in Miami where I am from, I won't be talking that holiday this year so have extra leave.

Wonder most American moms take 6 weeks (or less). Its definitely possible if necessary to make your life work. Given that you will be leaving your little one with your partner rather than a stranger, I'm sure that will also make it easier. Maybe he can even bring the baby to visit you at lunch time.

My DH has a very generous paternity leave package so will do a few months paternity leave once I've gone back and he plans to bring the baby for visits to my office. He came up with that idea all himself which I thought was so sweet.

evergreen what time is yours?

wonderlust I suspect you'll feel very differently once you've got a baby at home. I was all set to go back full time before DD was born but changed my mind during mat leave and now do 3 days. At 6 weeks I was only just starting to drive post (planned) section and getting the hang of breastfeeding.
Are you entitled to maternity allowance? I think it's for people in your situation but don't know the restrictions.

I was told on Monday that I can't get the blood chromosomal screening on the NHS because they still have to treat it as a twin pregnancy since the other sac is still present. I've decided to do harmony instead so have booked it for the weekend. I'm not sure if I'll find out the sex though. Apparently in a twin pregnancy a male result could be one of each, but a female result means both are female.