Due october 2007, sign up here!!!

[lissielou]

hi, im due on the 1st of october with 2nd after 3mcs in the past 18m. anyone else?

Hi Gemmamc and Angie!!

Manitz - My doula was called Kikki Hansard and her site is here
She is based in Watford I think and is happy to travel into London. I think we paid £500 and imho it was worth it. I will be giving her my EDD as soon as 12 wks is passed and booking her in.

mandler - not the boss coming to your house does sound a bit weird...

Whether to tell the boss is another complicated issue.

Again, last time I told the boss and a few close colleagues. I did not regret that because I had to take time off first because of extreme tiredness, and later because of what happened - and I think I would have forced myself to go to work if they had not known why I needed the time off.

Employers also have certain legal duties towards you when you are pregnant, so it may be worth telling a boss in confidence, in my view. But it really depends on the work environment. In some places, pregnant women get marginalised immediately, so in that case it may be better not to say anything? Then again, if the pregnancy is your priority N.1, who cares about that?

hillbilly - how DARE your doula be called Kiki!!!!!! thats my daughters name and i thought it was unusual! could you ask your doula to consider changing her name for me when you speak to her!!!

hillbilly thanks. we are as near to watford as you can be and still technically be 'london'. did you use her and do you recommend her? the price seems much more reasonable than an independent midwife.

Mandler I don't think your boss should be coming to your house whehter you are pg or not. Personally I agree with gemma, I have been ridiculous by telling everyone this time (and the last 2 times as well) because I have no capacity for secrets. But I also think that I do'nt want to lie if something went wrong as it's still a child that could have been. I've told my boss as I dont want to be seen as a slacker - it helped me last time as when I was really queasy or tired I was able to be honest when I took a day off. I did find I got a bit left out but that didn't bother me. Also I could be honest abot doctors apptments etc.

HB I've just read your message properly. I'd better get in before you runs to the phone...

Mandler - why not ask your boss why she wants to come to your house? Surely if she just wants to speak to you, she can do so over the 'phone. Very odd... The only reason I can think of for wanting to see you face to face is that she doesn't believe you are ill, but even then, it sounds OTT. I'm intrigued!!

yeah and how would she tell if backache was faked or not? even if she was face to face.

Hi all. Wow its busy on here today.

Mander, it may be that it is your company policy that if someone is off for a week (or whatever) then someone has to carry out a home visit. I work in an HR related role and I know a lot of companies are taking sickness and their duty to employees very seriously and lots have home visits and phased return to work as standard.

It could also be because it is your back. People with bad backs can often be off for a long period of time so maybe this was a bit of a red flag for them.

Or of course your boss may just be a nosey cow

IMO I would be honest with them, they will have to take your pg into account and support you then. Well legally anyway, I know it doesnt always work out like that.

Hillbilly thanks for that site. I've had a look. Is she as hippy as she sounds? I want to be supported in my choice, ideally a home birth but possibly a CS. Do you think she'd support that? also I want someone who will help DH who is a bit of a cynical grumpy bstard.

My email is open for doula related advice: [email protected] thanks!

Hello all

Hillbilly ? I had a good look at the doula site last night and think that someone like that would be perfect for DH and I, we both bow to authority when we are frightened and it would be great to have someone there fighting your corner when things get scary. I am not suggesting that the hospital staff won?t be great, I am sure they will but I?ve heard a lot of stories from friends about the midwives at the hospital I?ll be going to and some of them appear to overrule you in favour without taking into account your view which makes for a very scary experience. Unfornatley, there don?t seem to be any doulas registered in Scotland. Does anyone know of any up here?
Hertsnessex ? can you help me?

Isn?t it funny how we all keep re-testing?! I haven?t since Sunday but that?s because I have run out of tests! I keep thinking I have a lack of symptoms but really, I know things are different, I am exhausted by the evenings, I?m having a lot of headaches (had a migraine last night and stayed off work today to shift it, pathetic I know but I couldn?t see straight and felt very dizzy) my skin?s getting better but it?s still quite spotty and though I?ve got used to having sore boobs, I do know that they are still sore and bigger than usual. I really haven?t had much MS, just queasiness which appears when I?m hungry really.

Zephyrcat ? delighted to see you here I read the other thread you were on and really felt for you and the tough decisions you were faced with, how are you feeling now about things? My EDD (my online calc too) is 7/10 but I am having an early scan on Friday to check things are ok because I?ve had some bleeds. DH and I are also keen to find out if our beanie is alone in there as I?m from a family full of twins. Hoping and praying our baby is ok, it?s been such a waiting game.

Manitz ? my sis looked into an indy MW for her home birth and was quoted about the same, she didn?t go for an indy in the end but was delighted with the service she got from the local midwives. I?m still waiting for my booking in appointment Manitz, I wonder if they are waiting until after my scan though to see if I actually have a viable pregnancy before booking me in. That?s hilarious what your Mum said about ?down there?

Honeyapple ? you have given me a new paranoia now, wonky boobs!!

Hairybabysmum ? how did it go today with the scan?

Mumpbump ? don?t beat yourself up hon, some people don?t even know they are pregnant at this stage and are still drinking as usual will be thinking of you tomorrow.

Mandler ? my early scan is because I?ve had some bleeding/spotting and cos of family history of ectopics and multiples, as it?s my first I think they also want to try to give me peace of mind. As for telling my Mum, I haven?t. She lives abroad and I was over there at the end of the year. DH and I had been trying a while and my AF turned up on my birthday, I was beside myself and confided in her about how much we wanted a baby and how scared we were that it would never happen. As soon as the words were out of my mouth I deeply regretted it as it was obvious that she could not relate to what I was saying at all, she fell very easily with all of us as did my sister with her kids and my Mum starting saying the usual ?it?ll happen when it happens? ?lose some weight? ?relax? ?we?re a very fertile family? etc ? none of which helped. When I got my BFP it was tinged with fear because of the bleeds and I still worry that it might not work out, it is probably me being pig-headed but I don?t want her pity if it doesn?t work out so I think I?ll wait until I feel a bit more confident. When I read that back it makes it sound like we don?t get on, we do, I love her to bits. That?s a bit odd about your boss wanting to come to your house, are you friends too?

Hello gemmamc and congratulations! Wishing you a very happy and healthy pregnancy. For a while there were very few of us on here expecting our first but I think there are now 4 of us. The others are teaching us lots though!

Hello Angie17 ? congratulations on all the changes!! Maybe having a new baby is a great way to meet people in your new area! Hope things go well for you!

Sorry about the essay! Hello to Kezza and Greedy too.

Thanks Mrsmc. I have been less than delighted in the past but it's soo expensive and tbh they offer too much for me. They give you a package whereas I just want moral support as I also bow to authority whenever I can.

I forgot angie, I moved 18 months ago dd1 was 2y6m and dd2 was 6m. It was easier than I expected as the children got me socialising. I found it a bit like being the new girl at school - everyone wanted to know me for about 6 months but then the novelty wore off! A few have remained good friends though. didn't know the area so chose a house nearest the best park and that's meant we bump into loads of people.

Manitz, emailed you.

Mrs Mcjnr,
mail me at [email protected] or take a look at www.primalbirth.co.uk and my tel numbers are on there.

I do know of at least 3 doulas in scotland.

C

Still trying to get to the bottom of boss thing - we have a good relationship so I find it odd that she feels the need to do this. But good advice re HR policy I guess she is being MD-like. Better clean up (ouch!)

right I have a spare moment to catch up with the latest. Well, i am supposed to be listening to a teleconference but that is a green light for web surfing IMO

Too many new BFP's for me to keep up with, I will check the stats later to try to keep up, but congratulations to all. One I do remember is zephyrcat - I am totally in awe of anyone having twins, espcially with other dc's already!

Hairybabysmum - I am watching for your update about your scan today. Hope it went well.

I have read all the thoughts on doulas with interest. I didnt have one but I really wish I did. I found that my birth experience was very medicalised, and I cant moan too much, me and ds came out of it fine, but the MW's were very process orientated. I also think its the luck of the draw as to who you get. I met a couple of younger more enthusiastic ones and they were talking about all the different birthing positions they would encourage you to try, but I ended up with a rather jaded looking lady, who was very nice, but didnt actively help me iykwim. what would have made a whole lot of difference would have been someone there for me, to make my comfort a priority and not neccessarily monitoring machines and ticking boxes on their records. also, if something does go wring the medical team dont always have time to explain what is happening, whereas a doula would make you the first priority. If I have the nerve for a VBAC I would definately get one.

and finally......I told my mum, and now every time she sees a baby she feels the need to look at me and go aaahhhhh. It drives me bonkers, why didnt I remember that from last time???? Every TV program or trip out is a fraught with the potential sight of a newborn, cue much clucking from my mum while trying to catch my eye.....give me strenght.

wow, this was a long one. Just to say MrsMcJnr, my face is so spotty I look awful. Fat and spotty...who needs it!

doh my email is [email protected] sorry. just set it up as was bit worried about putting my real one on a site. will look at your site hertsandessex...

no probs, just mailed you again

cx

hi guys, great to see so many more joining, etc, and scans fast appraoching, mine cannot come soon enough,,,
I have started feeling really crampy as of last night, really drained,
similar to last time when i mc,, so i am very worried, tearfull and not fun to be around,
i have scan tuesday, and fear the worst,
i know i felt tired with first two full term pregnancies but do not remember the cramps, which is worrying me as i had pain with mc,
sorry to ramble on, know u guys understand the worry,

im like a zombie,

constant toilet papmer checking club., is what we should be called tpc,,,, lol

thinking of u that are spotting, and keeping my fingers crossed, my sis bleed with both her babies and she has two gorgeous girls so it deffo does not mean the worst, xxx

Thinking of you Beanie and hope that it is just some vigorous stretching going on x

thanks honey me too,, but think im all stretched out allready lol,,,,

Hi all! I'm still amazed at the size of this thread!!

To answer your questions, I was told when I went for a termination scan that it was a twin pregnancy. She told me that there were 2 sacs and one yolk, which made me unsure s to whether it was 100% that there were 2 developing - I really have no idea how the whole twin thing works!

The moral question of having a termination for one but not two really threw me and made my decision a lot easier. When I found out I was pg, I already had my mind set on no more children. I've had 3 caesareans and the last one was horrible, so from the second I found out I made no emotional attatchment to being pg and went on auto-pilot to make the appointments.
Whe she told me it was a twin pregnancy, the immediate reaction in my head was 'let me out of here, I'm keeping them' I have alwya wanted twins and it made me do a complete about turn on my decision.

I hope that makes sense!? I did struggle with the logic of being prepared to terminate one, but keep two. Being in the situation of making those decisions does funny things to you though.

As for how I feel now - um... scared!!

Zephyrcat - glad yoy managed to find us was going topoint you in this direction at some point!!

Is anyne else suffering from being too hot? I'm wwinding everyone at work up with my window being constantly open!

I also had a really odd turn this afternoon where my head went all fuzzy am hoping it was a one off though

hope everyone else is ok

Hiya Whoopsee! I'm having lots of very hot flushes - feel like a right old woman just now!!!

Was hoping to see you, dpthinks he won't get home in time for tomorrow night I'm not speaking to him just now but I'm hoping he can sort it tomorrow.... I have your number so will let you know well in adance.

Evening everyone.

Beanie - Know exactly how you feel I have had some mild period style pain all week so worrying loads. I am veering wildly between convincing myself everything is fine to complete gloom that it's all going wrong. I am seeing my GP tomorrow so will see if I can swing an early scan. Hope things are good for you on Tuesday.

Hello to all the new thread arrivals there has been so much thread action today given me lots to think about. Nice to see some other 1st timers like me to ask newbie questions. In that vein does anyone else have lots of CM - sorry if TMI I am drowning in it

I haven't told anyone yet(except DH of course)can't imagine managing getting to 12 weeks but I'm going to give it my best shot.

MrsMcjr - good luck for tomorrow will be keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Hi Girls - remember me?? Not being a very regular poster at the moment - taking things easy. I just want to get through this week as I'll be 9 weeks on Monday and I had my first mc at just under 9 weeks, so just a bit negative about everything this week.

Verso - please don't worry about anything - as everyone has already said. People don't have to read/listen to everything we write on here!

There are lots of us on here aren't there - what was in the water during January!!

On cramps and increased CM. I've never noticed either of these in my previous 3 pg (DD and 2 mc), but I'm getting them lots with this one. Don't know if it is because i'm so much more aware of everything due to my previous 2 mc, but it can feel pretty disconcerting this extra CM, can't it. Sometimes worried to stand-up - at least it is good for pelvic floor practice!! Forgotten how much I hate doing pelvic floor exercises, but remember girls it improves your sex life too!!! increases orgasm strength if your pelvic floor muscles are strong!! Give you incentive [greedy!!]

One more thing, Honeyapple, yeah - i've got wonky boobs too!!! you've made me feel better!! DH can't see it, but there is a distinct lower nipple on one side than the other!

take care all
x

Wow loads to catch up

Good luck and best wishes to all due for scans and experiencing fearful symptoms

Have had cramps and OMG I have never never never been this sick before...struggling to mind ds and get through the day...it wasnt this bad with him...

Off to find my bucket...

best wishes to all