March 2017... Early days

[H007]

Helloooo is anyone else here?

neon Sorry your mum's being difficult. In case you don't already know, she is BU! And you are most definitely not being a cow. My husband didn't even come to my midwife appointment, if my mum suggested coming I would laugh in her face! (Sorry mum!) Sounds like you might need to start putting some boundaries in place now - annoying that you have to do it in the first place but better to set the ground rules now!

(Disclaimer: I probably wouldn't laugh in her face... I would be a bit more tactful! But internally I would be thinking HELL NO!)

Neon I don't think you're being unreasonable at all! It's only early and it's totally up to you who you tell. Your mum sounds like she need to calm down a teeny bit. Could your sister back you up?

Bless her neon I think she just wants to shout it from the rooftops that she's a grandma is all. Bit weird wanting to come to midwife appointment but apart from that it just sounds to me like she's excited. I'm a bit rubbish myself at not telling me and always end up letting it slip. My mum also says she wishes she could tell people but she knows she can't so she doesn't.

Thank you fellow pregnant people. I ranted at dh and feel better now. I pretty much did laugh in my parents face when they suggested mum come to the appointment. I thought they were joking. I've already told my mum im going to be putting my foot down with her and not to take offense. The problem is shes very passive aggressive by nature.

Do peoples mums come to the 12 week scan? As that will be her next question. Although she has offered to pay for a private scan as me and dh want to know the sex (if the nhs cant/wont) so she could go to that.

My sister is brilliant, when she heard them talking about it she said "neon doesnt want anyone to know as its only 5 weeks and it's her baby after all" which she says did stop them in their tracks.

"Do peoples mums come to the 12 week scan? As that will be her next question. Although she has offered to pay for a private scan as me and dh want to know the sex (if the nhs cant/wont) so she could go to that."

That's another HELL NO! Don't let her pay for a private scan and don't let her go to any of your scans.

She may be excited about becoming a Grandma, but JAYSUS.

To be fair to her she didn't make any mention of coming to any of the scans not even the private one. I may be putting words in her mouth.

Stardust Completely surprised! Conceiving DS took almost a year and things went downhill after a CP in cycle 4. I wasn't "quite right" again until DS was 6 months old. This one was much more of a whim (although very much wanted), and we wouldn't have carried on "trying-not-trying" if I hadn't fallen in the first month (we would have put it off for at least 6 months). I think everyone else will be surprised too, whereas they already knew we were trying last time. We don't even have names picked out unlike last time!

I reckon just do whatever feels right for you and your partner! If you want a private scan and don't mind her coming it'll save you a few ££

Sounds like you and your sister can handle your mum if you team up haha X

Thanks charly youre right 😂 she means well enough i suppose.

To anyone suffering with a cold, that was one of my first clues I could be pregnant before my BFP! It's because your defences are down so your body doesn't reject the pregnancy (so it's a good thing)! No advice though, sorry, just paracetamol and honey and lemon. Make sure you keep your temperature down though!

Neon It depends what your relationship is like with her. I went to my 12-week scan alone last time with a suspected MMC, and I probably would have liked a hand to hold! Up to you!

Itsmagic thanks! I did not know that, it makes me feel a bit better as I shove bits of tissue up my nose lol

Personally I think going to the scan is the father's job, but I can understand why someone would want to go with her mum if her partner wasn't supportive or couldn't go.

Charly You're welcome, it made me feel better too! Although last time I had to blow my nose every single day of the pregnancy, and then the moment I gave birth, the snot was gone! Like magic! Looks like this one is going the same way she says, blowing her nose for the upteenth time today!

DH can't make my next scan so I asked my mum, she is totally delighted. I wouldn't want to be there alone if I was to get any bad news.

Big difference between your mum going because your DH can't, and your mum insisting on tagging along with you and DH when you don't really need or want her there!

Dh couldn't be more excited or supportive. I think ill keep 12 week scan to just us and let her come to a private scan. 12 weeks it for anomolies after all. We generally do have a very good relationship me and mum.

In my last pregnancy my MIL kept asking to come to scans. We had to tell her that only 1 person was allowed with me and that was OH. She did end up coming to a scan but not until 35 weeks and I'd had a scan at 12, 20, 21 and 24 that my OH has been too. I would have preferred OH though! I also refused to have a private scan as 3D scans freak me out! And the NHS were scanning me every 5 mins anyway

I find scans really anxiety-provoking due to a MC in my first pregnancy. I was a bag of nerves each time with DS' scans! Having DH there was important but I wouldn't want anyone else there really. Not sure what I'm going to do with DS for the scans. Has anyone taken their DC with them to a scan?

I had a private scan to confirm sex because 20 week nhs one said girl and I'd heard too many stories of it glueing wrong so wanted second opinion. My mum had never seen a scan before because they didn't do it those days and she absolutely loved coming with me. It was a very special time for us both. But first scan etc were just for me and dp.

*glueing = being haha

Gosh I can't keep up with this thread!

neon my mum was a bit like that when I was pregnant with Ds. Complained to my sister that she didn't feel involved in my pregnancy......... Tbf my sisters partner was crap and they split up between babies so mum was there a lot at appointments etc
But me and sis are very different. H came to the scams, I did the rest on my own. I was at work full time and was having appointments on lunch hours etc. I didn't tell my mum I was booked in for elcs, just phoned her after the event when ds was a few hours old. I don't find her presence comforting in any way so was better off without her there.

First vomit this morning. 'just' nausea til now.

Hi all, we haven't told any of our families yet, I'd like to tell my parents (and no one else before the 12 week scan), But if I tell mine my husband will want to tell his family... and his family are lovely but hopeless at secrets, so if we tell them everyone will know!

I'm also joining those snivelling into tissues, as I have a cold. Sneezing and coughing yesterday, then could barely get to sleep last night for the tricky throat and feel exhausted.