July 2016 Babies (9) - let the babies commence!

[Ellizardo]

Nearly there folks.

beautician Those dinosaurs are really sweet! You could have jealous older brothers on your hands there.

youandme I can sympathise with the tiredness. The last two days have been difficult as everything seems like so much effort (even thinking of doing something)! Not the kind of comment you needed from your FIL. Probably safer to avoid your friend's suggestion but it did make me laugh. Hope the weekend improves from here!

becks Enjoy your meal out! Sounds tasty already.

I think I'm over sensitive about it because I really don't look that big!

Youandme - I've had a couple of phases where it feels as if my boy's had a big growth spurt but my tummy hasn't caught up yet. Those are the most uncomfortable phases, whereas when my tummy has caught up i feel more manoeuvrable/comfortable again. So actually it's when I'm smaller (for the number of weeks pregnant) that I'm in most discomfort. No one can judge how uncomfortable you are from the outside!

Anna - thinking of you.

Elliz - how are you doing?

Fifi - hope you're doing ok too!

Mar - nice to hear from you again.

Ellarose - welcome!

Four days off and three weddings! Looking forward to it. And generally feeling much more positive/strong than I was a week ago.

32+3

julfin - thanks for asking. the funeral was yesterday and was totally heartbreaking. she loved music and there was a choir who sang just exquisitely in the same church where she was married in 2008. i came home and held Ted for a long time and basically just remembered her all day.

life goes on, doesn't it? Have a midwife appointment this morning and then off to look at light fittings (!) ...

have been having real problems sleeping too. took half a melatonin last night which wiped me out.

hope everyone has happy and healthy Bank Holidays. Good luck Julfin with the 3 weddings..that almost feels like a movie title!

Goodness Elliz, that does sound emotional, what a very sad thing. Glad you had Ted to cuddle when you got back.

beaut they are super cute dino suits!

Hope everyone's having a good bank hol weekend. I'm effing exhausted after yet more DIY. Might actually leave the house tomor, woo.

dats 32+6 (stone)

Morning all - huge post alert!!

Anna I'm so sorry to hear about your DM. Try not to take everything on yourself if your siblings are sensitive, you need to look after yourself.

tams how are you getting on? Hope your movements have picked up. And looking forward to your little one arriving so we can meet at some baby groups 😊

thom we were indeed due date buddies! I hope you and loopy enjoy looking at my pics of Luca and picturing your babies that size in your tummies!! Luca was smaller than gestation so your babies might be even bigger than him.

jem thanks for asking after me, I'm not great tbh but will do a little update at end of post. I've been told to expect that Luca will come home when he reaches term (don't know if that's 37 or 40) but obviously can be earlier depending on his progress.

beautician thanks so much for asking around for me, very kind. Am going to read up on pop and grow charity now. I felt a bit sad this morning, went down to see Luca and he had a babygro on for the first time. It's breaking my heart that the nurses are getting to do all these 'firsts' that I planned to do. Argh I feel teary even just writing this. I bought the cutest little leaving hospital outfit that he won't wear for months now. I know I need to take comfort in the fact I'm lucky that he WILL be coming out of hospital but it's just so hard.

So a few updates from me - I'll mention a few observations I've had from hospital too for the other first time mums on here.

Luca is doing absolutely amazingly. He is still classed as an intensive care baby but is now a candidate for high dependency. His little breathing mask has come off, he's off phototherapy for now and doing as well as everyone can hope for. He doesn't have any health problems apart from being an early bird. Every time I see him it feels like he's made another development which is so exciting. I've had two kangaroo care sessions now where I get to have skin to skin contact with him. It's the most incredible feeling ever. But really hard that I only get to hold him once a day if I'm lucky. I actually picked him up in my arms yesterday too which was amazing as I don't feel like I know his little body. They have a routine in NICU called cares where he has a few medical checks then parents can wash the baby's mouth and change their nappy. They do this 4 times a day so I've been going to as many as I can. He seems to recognise me and calms down when I talk to him and stroke him which is lovely. I've ordered a nursery rhymes book so I can start to read to him.

As for me, I'm still in hospital. Recovering from the c-section procedure well. I have been walking down to NICU on my own and using the wheelchair as a little crutch. The pain is uncomfortable but totally tolerable. But I'm struggling with my emotions. I just can't believe Luca is here. I hadn't even finished my London days in the office. I was one of the last ones on our thread. I haven't started my NCT or any of my antenatal classes and I was only just staring to go to my yoga classes more regularly with my work. I still forget that I'm not pregnant and that I can eat what I want etc. I feel so traumatised by everything that has happened and the birth. Whenever I close my eyes I picture myself on the operating table. It's the hardest thing I've ever done and even though it's all over now and we're both safe, I can't stop thinking about it. And I just want my baby. I can hear all the other babies on the ward and I just want Luca with me. All of my friends and family are being supportive but no-one understands. My friends are planning visits and getting excited to meet Luca then I have to explain only parents are allowed onto NICU. I haven't had many baby cards or balloons etc as I guess people don't know what to do for the best. The midwives have been amazing support to help me through. They are letting me stay until I'm feeling stronger and I've seen the perinatal team. So for now I can see Luca whenever I want. But I can't drive for 6 weeks now post section which will make seeing him harder.

On a happier note, I've really taken to breastfeeding (or expressing obviously as L can't feed until 35 weeks). I've been so so nervous about my milk drying up before he's ready so I've been militant. I mentioned last time about the syringes and colostrum. It started to get harder to hand express it which devastated me. I had a massive wobble with the midwife who really helped me through it. We preserved trying to get colostrum then noticed it was running clearer. We got the pump out and then I had actually milk!!!! There's no stopping me now and I absolutely love taking my milk down to the NICU. Everyone keeps commenting on how much I'm getting, I'm so chuffed and feel like the school swot haha. I had already bought an Ameda lactiline pump which I haven't tried yet and I'm using a medela machine in hospital. I had bought a microwave steriliser as assumed it would be simplest but in hospital they have Milton sterilising tanks. I can't believe how easy it is! Wish I'd done more research so now I've ordered my own set and will return microwave when I'm out.

Someone (I think thom) asked what I was wearing in hospital and I said t-shirts and leggings during the day rather than clothes. That has definitely changed post birth and I haven't worn clothes once 😳 but I am doing my hair and some light make up which makes me feel better. I'm living in primark nightshirt and compression stockings. Primark have such a good selection at the moment of nightshirts, my mum has brought me in a load more. They are button down but really trendy, most of the other ones I've seen are quite dowdy. They are either styled a bit like men's shirts or have patterns like polka dots. They look fab! They are in the PJ section and all the designs have a pocket with 'love' written on them. Loads of the women here have them.

Another tip for the hospital bag - reed diffusers!!! My auntie brought me in some for my room to make it more homely and honestly every single person that comes into my room has commented on the lovely smell. I'm actually getting a bit bored of thanking people and showing them the reeds! They have been a real comfort to me as I have literally stayed on every floor in the women's unit over the last week so it's been a nice constant presence. And the room does smell good! The ones she bought were air wick summer delights which I'll be stocking up on for my house!

I've read lots about movements. I really really don't want to scare anyone but I'm still so frightened about what happened to me. Luca's pattern didn't just suddenly changed. He never had a massive pattern but I had a bit of a sense of what to expect. He kicked right up to delivery I had just noticed a slight reduction that I wasn't happy with. It really wasn't anything dramatic at all and I'm such a worrier that most people probably wouldn't have bothered going in for my symptoms. And look what happened. The midwife said to me yesterday (trying to comfort me about the birth trauma) that I saved his life. A few more days and he could have died (worst case scenario). No-one had been so blunt before. So I know 9 times out of 10 movements is nothing to worry about, but I have no underlying health problems whatsoever and this happened to me.
I still can't accept how vulnerable and frightening pregnancy can be!

Sorry to end on a scary note! Is everyone having nice bank holiday weekends? Here are some pics of Luca for you to enjoy 😊

fifi it is so lovely to hear from you. I am pleased that you and Luca are both on the mend.it must be so hard on you and you need all the support from all your friends and family. It must feel a bit like having post traumatic shock. It is going to take a while to adjust. You should tell your midwives how you are feeling so they can support you. Thank you for all the helpful hospital tips. It was me who asked about the clothes. I have to say, that I tend to worry about movement but don't want to go in and bother the staff. I will be a lot more ready to rely on my instincts going forward. It is a warning for me.
I am looking forward to sharing pics soon. Even though I had IVF & more likely to have a boy I am sure it is a girl. I should hopefully have a date soon! I am sure that my baby is destined to be an elephant but as they coming early hopefully not too big! As I typed that they just kicked me hard!!
Hope everyone is well & enjoying the bank holiday. I am celebrating my brothers birthday. We are incredibly close as a family so see far too much of each other. This will be the third time this weekend. Poor OH!!

Fifi you write so clearly and positively about everything- you should be very proud of your strength through these difficult unexpected events.

We finished nct last week, really good classes, but what I learned more than anything was the role of hormones, how they make us feel, act, and that you just have to go with it.

We were all told baby blues is something everyone gets days 3-4, and you will notice it. Nature takes over and tells our minds and bodies how much we 'need' to be with our babies, because that was traditionally what ensures a baby survives.
Don't worry about the stages you think you are missing- Luca is healthy and happy. He settles in your presence. Your instinct is to be with him. You are being an amazing mum after surgery and stress.

Hope you have a nice Sunday everyone, X

Fifi it's completely understandable that you're feeling so overwhelmed - you spend months thinking things are going to happen in a certain way, in a certain order and all of sudden everything is up in the air, completely out of your control. Change can be hard to process, change in what is already a hugely emotional and physical journey is even harder. Throw in a tiny newborn, a brand new and very responsible job, abdominal surgery, being away from home - anything else I should throw in, or is that enough!! - and it's already far more than many folk ever have to deal with. But you are dealing with it. You're sounding like exactly where you're meant to be, you've been positive and pragmatic when you needed to be, which got you through the anticipation of Luca's arrival, the birth itself and the immediate aftermath. And now you can take a little step back and review things and it's all coming crowding into your head at once, which is again completely normal in times of post-stress. You're doing the right thing by talking about it. Get it out of your head however you can, it'll all help with the processing. You know you can't change what's happened, you just have to keep processing it until it falls into the right boxes and then you'll move on - it'll happen. The more progress Luca makes, the more you'll be focussing on that and less on how he got here.
You're doing brilliantly, you really are. I cried a bit about your proud milk moment! Those really are the bits to celebrate and you are doing just that. Hang in there, girl - there's lots of stuff ahead of you but so much of it is good xxx

Fifi - you're' doing amazingly well after all you've been through and doing it all on your own which is even more amazing!! What a lucky little boy Luca is to have such a fantastic momma - you saved his life through doing the hard thing of trusting your instinct and putting him first rather than worrying about bothering the hospital (we all struggle with this I think).

It must be so hard not having him with you all the time but all those cuddles and that time at together will be all the sweeter when he does get to go home. In the meantime be kind to yourself and have a wobble or twenty - crikey you're holding it together so well. That drop in hormones on day 3/4 is not to be underestimated especially after a traumatic birth. Do ask for help too from everyone - midwives, friends, family. I bet you'll end up with lots of offers of lifts and support, sometimes people just need a nudge as they don't know what to do for the best.

I do love that you're putting a bit of lippy on to make yourself feel better - that's great! I'm a big believer in the power of lippy. Well done on your milk too - what a determined lady you are.

Lots of love to you and Luca xxx

Lovely to hear from you Fifi. I honestly think you are like superwoman! You sound like you are doing a great job and remember it's only a few weeks and then you will have every minute of every day with you gorgeous little boy. You have dealt with it all so well.

I have been feeling very sorry for myself and been a big girl in comparison. Was poorly last week and had a cold which left me feeling miserable. Hormones were all over the place and ended up having a big argument with not so DP. Lots of tears and tiredness and getting a bit fed up. We exchanged on our house on Friday though so ended the week on a good note.

Been enjoying the sunshine today but have resulted in sweaty bump, thighs and pants! Feeling so bloody attractive right now (not)!

Hope everyone else is enjoying the long weekend. Only 4 weeks of work left...Woohoo!!!

Awww Fifi Luca is lovely it sounds like you are doing amazingly well coping with such a massive curveball.

I've definitely hit a stage of more or less permanent irritability. Poor DH - I think I must be terrible to live with.

Looking forward to the inlaws going home tomorrow - they're nice enough but both SO untidy it drives me insane. They seem to go around the house leaving things all over the place ("at their arses" as my mum would say!). And they never switch lights off, which drives me to distraction. At home, my FIL just goes out for the day and leaves all the overhead lights on in any room he happens to have been in. It's so wasteful!

Place marking

Thank you so much for stopping by with an update fifi you sound like you're doing an incredible job. And you are a real-life Daisy the cow queen - bloody well done! Your strength is incredible so do not underestimate it. You are bound to have some wobbles, it happens to every new mum, even when things go smoothly. No denying it, Luca has an awesome mummy already! I'm sure people will be more than happy to give you lifts up- thy will want to help but won't necessarily know what to do/say at times so I'm sure a little nudge and they will be offering left right and centre.
I'm a control freak type person and I can understand the really out of control you must have felt/are feeling throughout the whole thing. It sounds like you're both doing so well that I'm sure it won't be a massive amount of time before you are both home and well and having all the cuddles.

youandme that would drive me insane

beaut loving the dinosaurs! I did this with boats his entire newborn wardrobe contains nautical/boats. It wasn't intentional.
Now I've moved onto elephants. how is your DS doing? We had a few AWFUL days but yesterday and today have been a great improvement? I see no pattern or correlation though? Do you? feel the same about being too tired to deal with it as well as I should. Hang in there (what I keep trying to tell myself) at least we know they grow out of it! (Sort of !)

mascara some of my tightenings have been mega uncomfy and one evening had me a bit worried. They then stopped thank goodness. Hope all is well with baby/monitoring? When are you due to see the consultant?

pulpi as alarming as it can be I measured 37 last time. At 33 weeks. 10lbs is an impressive weight but there's nothing to say you will definitely have a big one!

Shattered from a long day at the beach today with the DDs. Made me think we won't manage these kind of days quite the same with a newborn. I'm a bit pink yet again, despite using SPF. I thought I was being mega responsible (I'm usually naughty and a bit of a tan addict) but don't underestimate the stupid burning effects of pregnancy ladies! That'll teach me as we should have been decorating the nursery but I saw the sun and we were all bundled in the car en route to the beach before 9am!

I hope everyone is enjoying the bank holiday and sunshine. And not eaten quite as many ice creams as me

I found you all there's so much need to catch up on. I've seen some of it on Fb page thankfully!

It's a weird few weeks the last trimester, I've spent the last 2 weeks feeling really antisocial and having big bursts of energy where I paint the nursery myself and gut the whole house. I have a feeling the baby might be engaging - very heavy down below and really feel like I'm going to pee myself sometimes
I'm not back at work til Wednesday and then finish up 3 weeks on Friday, I keep thinking this one might make an early appearance so glad I'm finishing at 36 weeks.

Was up at the hospital last Friday for monitoring as baby was very still but they said he was fine thankfully. All getting a bit real now tbh strange feeling.

32+3

Fifi, Luca is looking gorgeous! I'm so glad that everything is going so well, and that you are getting some cuddle time. Well done on the expressing - that sounds amazing! You are a superstar . Is there anyone who can give you lifts to the hospital once you have been discharged? Hopefully it won't be too long a period of time where Luca is in hospital and you are out? I really like what dats said about your focus changing as time goes on - soon this will all just be a memory of how you got your lovely little boy.

Anna I'm really sorry to hear about your DM. I am thinking of you and your family.

Well, I'm 36 weeks tomorrow and starting to feel it. My inner thighs have been achy for a few days, which I assume is down to everything beginning to loosen up ready for the birth. Getting in and out of the car is an effort, and sometimes I get breathless just from standing still! I'm also napping once a day - something I never did pre-pregnancy.

My dad visited this weekend and helped me to rearrange furniture upstairs so that I can begin to set up the nursery (at long last). There are piles of stuff in all our upstairs rooms now that need to find new homes, but at least I feel like I can see a path through the trees!

I've definitely got the nesting thing going on now. I've been washing skirting boards, for goodness' sake! That is definitely not normal behaviour for me! We have pigeon hole shelves for extra clothes storage in our bedroom, and I have just taken out every single item of DH's clothing, refolded it, and put it back nicely. Our house is never going to have looked so good!

Cookies, the last monitoring was on Thursday. I have another trace tomorrow and the consultant appointment straight after that for the review so we shall see what they say. I've had traces twice a week for the last 8 weeks so it'll be strange if they decide not to continue monitor now. Movement is very different now though, I'm guessing as he's getting too big. I feel more stretches than kicks.

Fifi, glad all is going well. Sounds like you are doing everything you can. Each day he'll grow stronger.

33 weeks today, I'm getting nervous he will arrive earlier than planned. Itching to clean/declutter like some of you. Batch cooking is going to commence this week too.

Can't believe how close we're all getting to due dates now! I bet the next few weeks will be rapid...still not sure I'm ready for it but am taking tonnes of inspiration from you fifi! It sounds like you're doing so well and have taken to being a mum really well!

We have now pretty much finished the nursery. We're getting shutters and a black out blind fitted this week but apart from that all done. I'll post some photos in a bit. Only trouble now is that as DH and I have spent so much time in the nursery the cats have been in and out all the time, sleeping on the changing mat etc! Think they're in for a shock to be honest...

We are going to have a naughty tea tonight followed by Game of Thrones. Am so excited as have been almost saintly re food lately!

No idea why some are upside down...

And a couple more

Bel its beautiful :) thats a pinterest inspired nursery if ever ive seen one!!

Fifi - little luca is beautiful. I dont think any of us can quite know what youre going through r.e. missing out on some of those firsts but take comfort in the fact your boobs seem to be hugely fighting your corner! Before you know it he will be at home with you - it already sounds like hes making rapid progress. Will your mum be able to help you with lifts etc?
Keep being positive and smiling and cuddling that little treasure youll be a pro by the time he has some more july baby friends and you can tell us all what to do!

Had a trace yesterday because of reduced movements - moment they switched it on the baby went crazy! It also got hiccups right on the spot where the trace was and they couldnt position it properly for the heartbeat but all was ok in the end. Cant wait til baby is here safe and sound!!

Loving the nursery Bel! You obviously have the decorating skill and he is going to be one very lucky little boy. I'm a bit sad not to have a nursery to decorate (until new house gets jigged about upstairs) but I am looking forward to making the cot, getting the moses basket set up and putting all his lovely things away.

Anyone else got any nursery pictures to share?? I like to be a bit nosey!

fifi it sounds like Luca is doing fantastically and well done with all the expressing. Hope the transfer to high dependency comes soon. As others have said, don't be afraid of asking for lifts if you need them.

bel your nursery looks beautiful! We put the stickers up in ours today too so it's finally finished.

primary glad the trace went well in the end.

Hope everyone is enjoying the bank holiday and nobody is stuck in work. I'm feeling huge now so hoping for an event free last six and a half weeks.

lullabells - we have exchanged as well and moving in next week! Can't wait to get sorted. Once we are in I will start on the nursery and post some pics. We bought a g-plan chest of draws yesterday on eBay for the nursery. First purchase!
belloftheball - I love the nursery pics, it looks fantastic. Everyone is setting a very high bar. I also love the up lighter in the room. Where are they from?