Babies due in November 2016 #4

[FuzzyOwl]

New thread for us to chat and if anyone else also wants to join the secret Facebook group just send me a private message with the email address that you use to login and I will send you a link.

That makes sense. Baby was also big at my scan and very wiggly.

Did he anyone else get a graph with predicted birth weight on it? Probably bollocks but it says on there if baby stays on its line it'll be 8-10! DD was 8lb exactly.

copper, a friend of mine took his pregnant girlfriend (unknowingly) to Barbados for Christmas and she's due in July. He has been paranoid about Zika ever since they realised the situation they are in, and are having extra scans at their hospital to track the baby's progress. However, the medical staff have limited knowledge as it's such a newly discovered disease with a lack of research. He was also looking at them flying to the US to have a private test done over there, so limited is the information in this country on it.

From what you've said of your travels, I'm sure you will be absolutely fine. As you state above, it's all been people who have returned from countries that are confirmed cases in the mainland US. I was in Miami whilst (unknowingly) 4 weeks pregnant and am similarly trying to remain upbeat about it (or bury my head in the sand, whichever you prefer...)

I'd be really interested to hear what your midwife says. You'd think asking where you've travelled recently would be a standard question at the booking in appointment, just like when you give blood.

Oh, copper, that must be a worry. You know that logically you will be fine as you weren't in South America, but that never helps with the worry, does it? I hope your midwife understands.

copper that must be such a worry. Speaking to your midwife should help.

Thanks so much, Thurlow and mrsdane. It's just playing on my mind constantly... like irrational fears are prone to do!

mrsdane, I actually had my booking appointment before I travelled, although I did mention the holiday to my midwife and she didn't bat an eyelid. I've been back a week now and the reason I haven't contacted her about it sooner is I'm worried she'll have absolutely no idea! As you say, it's such an unknown here and there seem to be no measures in place for dealing with it, other than extra scans.

I keep trying to reassure myself that pregnant women actually living in America will surely have been bitten many more times than I was and there are still no homegrown cases... will keep clinging to that, I think.

Thanks again for your support and really hope things turn out positively for your friend, mrsdane. I'll keep you updated on the midwife's response.

Feel like I've been away for ages - thread 4 already! Yay! Had such a busy few weeks at work coordinating a big international school project. But now it's all over and I can relax, get my pupils through their exams and then summer!

I'll have an 18mth gap (18months and 3days according to the due date). I'm glad there'll be a few of us little and fuzzy going through the same stages in the beginning. I'm guessing it'll be hell at first but in a few months we'll be fine! I only want two anyway so am very looking forward to completing our family. I've also got a good sleeper - I wonder if there's a connection... if they sleep you're more likely to have time to dtd?! This baby was more a result of me forgetting to take the pill than a desire for a small age gap... opps!

I understand your worries Copper even next to nothing chances and knowing that rationally it's SO very unlikely don't help stop the worrying. I hope the midwife has some good advice, but I echo the others by saying it sounds like you'll be totally fine!

Because of this thread I keep lying really still trying to feel movement!

I then think I've felt something and it just turns out to be my intestines moving, er, food.

TMI I'm sure!

copper, do mention it to your midwife and that you are really anxious about it. But honestly, the odds of that happening are so, so tiny. Try not to worry too much!

Thank you all so much - just writing it out and reading your reassurances has helped loads :)

I had my mw appointment today, 16 weeks exactly! Good strong heartbeat. all test have come back normal. I am not sure i would recognise movements as this is my first.
I am off to Las Vegas today, I read the comments re the Zika virus, it hadn't really occurred to me. A quick perusal of the net seems to indicate that it would be a very small percentile. But I will keep an eye out for any literature when I am state side which might be helpful.
Lastly, did you ladies have any recommendations for baby books for first time parents? x x

I really liked Lucy Atkins First Time Parent as it is very step-by-step and doesn't follow any particular camp.

Personally I liked reading books to dipped in and out of a few from the different schools of thought - Gina Ford, Attachment Parenting, Baby Whisperer etc. If you want to read up beforehand, it's best to have any idea about all the different things you can try so that when your baby is here and shows you their personality you might have an idea which books might help you later. So for instance, DD turned out to be quite a fan of a routine, so I went back to the Jo Frost baby book (which I also loved, mainly as it was the only one that actually said if you feel like you're going to throttle your baby because you're both so exhausted, it's ok to put them in the cot and walk away for 5 minutes - I liked the honesty of that book) which had a rough routine and used that as a guide for the first few months.

Just catching up on last weeks episode of one born every minute emotional wreck right here

I had Hollie Smith's First Time Mum which is probably very similar to First Time Parent and gives a good neutral overveiw of the most important issues without being in one camp or the other. I thought I'd be a natural and not need any other books or parenting philosophies but in the end DS turned out to love routines and my sanity loved them too, so we did Gina Ford which worked amazingly for us. There are so many options out there and really they all work to some extent so I agree with Thurlow about reading up on a few and then seeing what your baby seems to like once they're here.

Copper, so sorry you're feeling stressed about Zika, but you are right, the chance of you having got something is basically nothing. I know it won't stop you worrying, but that's what we're all here for!

DH forwarded me an email chain between him and his co-worked he is liaising with in Sydney RE our move, and DH's original email says 'my wife is pregnant' (he was telling his co-worker why we can't move after a certain date) and I don't know why, but it made me burst into tears. DH is a very traditional 'stiff upper lip' type and doesn't like talking about personal things at work, so I found it very touching.

I too have had the zika dilemma as am meant to fly to San Anotonio for work in June. In the end I've decided not to go. I'm sure a massive over reaction on my part as it isn't currently in the States

Thurlow I will need to speak to my consultant at 24 weeks about the ELCS. Seems ages away, but I bet it flies by.

Oh Copper, pregnancy always seems to bring us something else to worry about. I would try to focus on the population of California and the fact 0% of all of those (not just pregnant women) who live there have been reported to have Zika.

I was given loads of books about pregnancy and being a parent but by far and away the best advice I got was from the group I was in like this. So many things I had no idea about and weren't covered in books.

Ugh, I am an idiot. Have been googling 15 week MMC and have worked myself into a right state. I'm not showing yet at all and have been having small niggly cramps the past few days. So so stupid

I've had a mmc that late smells (mine was 16 weeks) and all I can say is that I knew with an absolute certainty I had miscarried and I didn't have cramps, but a constant low ache. It was unlike pregnancy twinges and I still have a defined weight gain. I have been really anxious terrified in subsequent pregnancies but have never had that intuitive feeling of certainty again.

smells I miscarried at ten weeks and would echo what fuzzy said. I felt a dull ache and almost a falling in sensation in my tummy. The cramps can a day or two later after I'd been given medication to 'help things along'. Try and stay positive and do speak to your midwife of you are still feeling concerned

Oh Mrsdane I think Smells is due on the 12th too!

Copper I totally get the worry but as your research shows there really is no risk. Saying that, pregnancy seems to pinch the rational part of our brains so I get why it's not actually reassuring to read the research.

Smells I did the same as I'll be 15+4-17 weeks while I'm away and I'm stressing about the lack of hospital (and now zika!) but I'm trying hard to tell myself that we are at no more risk than anyone else and those odds are really really low.

I sill haven't had my screening results back, scan was the 5th. Do you think I should chase or leave it a bit longer?

I know the letter coming is a good sign rather than a call but worried I may have been missed and I'd deffo want to know before I go away. I've never been so worried about going on a nice holiday before!

That's how my niggles feel- it's just a constant ache, though it does feel a bit like the muscle fatigue I've had in the past. Guess I'll just see how I feel tomorrow, might head up to EPU as I've been having this for a few days

Oh Smells sending positive vibes your way.

I'd head up to the EPU tomorrow for some reassurance but in the meantime, the odds are very very very much in your favour.

Thinking of you smells and glad you can go to the EPU for reassurance. I've also had fairly constant cramps today (16 weeks) but they are a different type to when I miscarried.

Fedup, I would chase for your peace of mind but the fact you haven't heard is a really good sign.

Thanks Fuzzy, that must have been devastating to lose that late, I'm so sorry you have to go through that. I might give it a few more days, I don't feel that overwhelming need to know what's going on (I remember that feeling of certainty from my last pregnancy, this time feels different). Niggles currently feel like the tickling bubbles you get before passing gas, but I'm not gassy, so who knows!

Fedup, thank you. I feel like such a whinger as you all keep telling me to go to the EPU and I'm not! I've been up there 3 times in this pregnancy and feel like I should struggle through a bit. It's only been 2 weeks since my scan and I don't want to use up resources unless I'm desperate, and as much as I would love another scan, I don't currently feel desperate.

(Have also just remembered I've been slowly reducing my anti-anxiety meds lately in the hopes I could come off, so might reintroduce a little bit more back for a little while yet.)

Thank you so much for letting me worry and stress in this safe space, it's so nice to have this space to freak out in

Thank you smells and maybe increasing your medication is a good idea. Perhaps try rethinking once you start to feel regular movement which will reassure you. I understand about you not going for scans - I have refused to have any early scans for my last two pregnancies on the basis that if I don't know anything is wrong, then I am still pregnant. Completely irrational thinking but my miscarriage has made the early/mid stages of pregnancy a frightening time for me. As you say, it is nice to have this space to freak out with people who understand.

I've had cramping pain all day today, it's easing now though so hopefully it will be gone tomorrow!

Considering I've been up since 4am I feel a lot less tired than I did this morning when I was feeding my daughter with my eyes closed
Can't believe I've made it to this time without a nap

I'm hoping last night was just a one off! I don't know how people cope with bad sleeping kids my friends little boy is 2 and his up a minimum of 3 times a night!!