Babies due in November 2016 #4

[FuzzyOwl]

New thread for us to chat and if anyone else also wants to join the secret Facebook group just send me a private message with the email address that you use to login and I will send you a link.

Sorry you are struggling Thurlow but don't underestimate how well you've done to recognise it and seek help and support, that is hugely insightful and brave.

I'm afraid I don't have any wise words of advice, but we are here to listen. I think I feel similarly to you, but to a lesser extent. I just don't feel connected to the pregnancy at all, in fact a lot of the time it feels like an inconvenience and I am scared of continuing to feel that way when (if) baby arrives.

I hope the fog lifts for you soon

I'm sorry thurlow and cake I hope you both manage to find the support you need. After losing my daughter my counsellor was invaluable. Just having someone to talk to that was in no way connected to us somehow seemed to alleviate some of the trauma and pain I was going through... Both of your situations are quite different but I'd really recommend seeing if there is someone you could talk to

Joining in! And joining those having scans tomorrow- seems to be a lot of us! Mine is at 0900 (I live in Argentina though, so 1300 UK time).

Haven't posted much in here as my fear of jinxing things has been overarching. Hoping tomorrow will give me the green light to get properly excited, pick a MATL date and then START SHOPPING!!

Also wondering why my wees are so negligible given the copious amounts of water I am imbibing. Thirsty babies

Welcome Latina! How exciting to have the global pretty much covered in 1 thread!

Thurlow, I completely agree with Cake saying that talking about it is a huge step. It really helped me last week to talk about the gender disappointment thing and feel so much better for hearing that it's normal. That's why I'm really loving this thread. I'm sure that a lot of people feel the same way as you but it's not until you mention it that you find out. Maybe you could concentrate on one thing you're happy about each day - like you mentioned you're at your best with DD. Write it down and maybe seeing the list will help you to grow more positive. Just a suggestion and I'm sounding like my mum! Argh!

Hello

I've been lurking here for some time but only feel able to post now I've had the 20 week scan.

Congratulations everyone on your pregnancies - you have all kept me entertained and given me a sense of being same over the last few weeks.

Thurlow - it's really worth asking the GP what talking therapies are available near you. Almost every area in England now has free nhs services (sometimes called iapt). I had some help after my husband was very ill a few years ago and I've also paid for sessions privately - seriously the best money I've ever spent. I feel so much better having had some therapy and you've taken a huge step by talking about your feelings. Best of luck and please do private message me if you're in London as I know a couple of places that do discounted therapy too.

Hope it's ok that I've jumped in on this thread after so long. And hope you all have a good day with your bumps.

Welcome, Stretched and Latina!

Thurlow, I echo everyone else - talking about it and getting your thoughts out there is a huge step. Really hope you're able to set up something regular that allows you to discuss your feelings and work through them so they're easier to deal with day-to-day.

Nothing much to report here - movements are more pronounced and are starting to form a rough pattern, I think. I feel her when I wake up, after lunch and after dinner. It's so lovely! 20w scan is a week tomorrow and can't come soon enough.

Hope everyone's doing well today!

Thanks for the support everyone It all feels quite stupid and I'm really unsettled by the sense that I can feel it is all a little outside of my control. My GP did mention counselling and I will definitely bear it in mind - though I certainly can't pinpoint what it is that is making me feel down. Maybe something hormonal, who knows.

So far we have planned that we're on holiday next week so maybe a good break will help. If not, we might try a week off work (though I'm less keen on that as I worry that dumping work in it will stress me out). Then talking therapies or perhaps a low dose of antidepressants.

DP made a bad joke this morning about me not being much fun at the moment I could see he knew as soon as he said it that it was a bad thing to say, and he has been so supportive, and he was so apologetic but it still set me off today. Nearly cried in my consultant appointment

On the positive news this was another ELCS appointment and they all seem quite happy with the decision, and no one has really asked for any detailed reasons. I suspect an EMCS after several days on no progression and a baby in NICU for 5 days is speaking for itself really. Have a third scan booked for 32 weeks, which is nice as I've not had a late scan before, and then they said they'll just make sure I'm still certain and discuss dates then.

Cake, have you spoken to anyone in RL about it?

thurlow, I could have written your post. My midwife is arranging some counselling for me and have a consultant appointment to discuss elective section this week, I am hopeful birth phobia is at the route of my feelings. No real words of advice but just to say I'm sorry you're finding it tough, you're not alone.

Thank you, canters, and I am sorry you are feeling this way too. I hope that the consultant is amenable to an ELCS for you x

20 week scan all fine, confirmed that we're having a boy. Hope everyone else's scans went well too.

Sorry to hear you're feeling down Thurlow.

Congrats!

Congratulations Bob! I hope everyone else's scans have gone well too. Trying to be excited for mine on Thursday by still too much scanxiety!

Sorry to hear you are feeling down Thurlow Canters and Cake it's such a difficult time with the hormones and people's expectations of how you "should" be excited etc. I hope you are all getting the support you need in rl.

I've mostly been worried for 20 weeks, and still stessing now reading about all the movements you guys are feeling and I'm still not getting much. I'm sure it's just the placenta but I'd love a reassuring kick in the bladder about now!

Congratulations Bob hope your scan goes well on Thursday fedup

Positive scan for me today. Confirmed my suspected anterior placenta which had reassured me slightly (for all of 5 minutes no doubt!). Good luck those having scans in the next couple of days.

Ahh congratulations Littlegrey are you team yellow too?

I know I have an "anterior high" placenta or I did at 12&15 weeks so hoping that's still the case and why I can't feel much yet.

Congratulations everyone on all the good scan news, and good luck to those still waiting.
I can totally identify with feeling a bit low and disconnected from the world, luckily for me it's mild but it's still disconcerting. Fedup I think you've hit the nail on the head, the expectations from other people are the hardest thing. I'm still not feeling the excitement that people seem to expect (not least because of the long and boring road we had to getting pregnant).
Having said that I am feeling lots of wriggling now which is nice! I think twin 2 is the feisty one (just pigeonholing them before they're even born!)
Have a good day everyone

Everything was perfect at the scan and we're having a girl! We've been talking about he and him the whole pregnancy but I'm just so chuffed she's healthy.

I'm so sorry some of your are struggling, that must be so tough. All I can suggest is give yourselves space to feel how you need to, and don't put any expectations on how you think you should feel, and definitely reach out for support if you need it

Hi all,

My scan was great yesterday ,was in there for around 15 minutes while the lady explained everything and showing us the babies heart/kidneys ect, really was lovely and she confirmed girl so now I can start buying!!!
She also picked up that this pregnancy started off as twins, she pointed out the remains of a sack, I had a bleed very early on so I'm guessing that is what that was!

Sorry to hear some of yous are struggling atm, I must admit I'm feeling a lot less enthusiastic about this pregnancy than I have about my others, but I think mine is stress, out of interest for those of yous that are feeling down, have you suffered with pnd in the past? X

Fedup no, team pink for us, even though EVERYONE was convinced it's a boy! Still, should save a few pennies as clothes can just be DD's hand me downs!! Still shocked about it and wondering how we will ever agree on another girl's name. I was in labour before we agreed one last time!

Wow! Congratulations on the positive scans and 3 team pinks in a row!!

Have felt baby lots this afternoon (I think!) so feeling a little reassured and starting to let the excitement creep in for the scan tomorrow. Fingers crossed!

Congratulations everyone on your healthy scans! I'll be 23 weeks this weekend and have suddenly had a massive growth spurt meaning that clothes that fitted last week no longer do! Bump has also moved right up and looks completely round like a basketball! Feeling huge amounts of movement now and husband is getting to feel loads of kicks. The only downside is my ribs are quite sore as I think they've had to adjust quite quickly to my changing shape and I have felt a little breathless.

Hi all & thanks for the welcome! Hello Stretched, fellow newbie!

Good scan for me today although I very nearly blacked out- turns out the lying on your back thing is true! Have been avoiding it at night but presumed it was an old wive's tale. I also had a transvaginal scan as I've had a tiny bit of bleeding, which I think is just ahem, irritated labia. All fine and now I have a page of photos of both my unborn child and my vagina. Obvs had to send that picture to my sisters!!

Sorry for those feeling glum. My moods are extremely volatile so completely empathise.

We're not finding out the sex (love 'team yellow'!!) which everyone in Argentina seems to think is tantamount to child abuse!! We already know the full name of a pregnant friend's unborn baby who is 3 months along!

Have nice weeks everyone. Lots of reasons to be hopeful!

Thinking of you for tomorrow fedup. Glad you've had some wiggles

need that sounds uncomfortable! I bought some new clothes today and I'm hoping they last for a while. Some lovely elastic waist midi-skirts from Zara on sale. Fingers crossed!

I got one of the Seraphine knot dresses this week and I LOVE it. They come in short & long sleeves. Highly recommend & think it will work as a normal dress too.