July 2016 (7) We're halfway to meeting our little bubs

[allthegoodnamesalreadytaken]

Hi all started a new thread as the old one was getting almost to 1000. We're a very chatty bunch! Happy Friday

Sorry about shit maternity pay deals - is it cynical of me to think if men were the main caregivers and carried children it would be a very different situation?

I am "lucky" as i will get mat allowance at the full £140pw tax free... if i had stayed "employed" as a supply teacher i would have got smp at £140pw, and had to pay tax and employers national insurance (supply thing) on top which would be thoroughly shit!!!!!

It makes me soooo

Thanks for the welcome.

foobio I fancied doing some aqua classes but all the ones near me are in the middle of the day on weekdays and I'm working full time so can't go to those.

gnat Thanks for the positivity. Most of what you said are the reasons I think I should keep going - the breathing and the instructor highlights things that would be good for hip/pelvis/back issues. There doesn't seem to be a regular group going (I've only been to three sessions though) but there is one other person who started the same time as me and has been to all of them so far so hopefully a good way to get to know her. I wondered whether it might be doing me some good and I just don't realise it because this pregnancy has been fairly problem free so far.

Sounds like a few people are having maternity allowance/pay issues at the moment. It seems crazy that there isn't more in place for people who are self employed or regularly take on extra shifts given how many people will be in that position!

Not cynical at all primary. I think the whole system assumes that men are the main wage-earners and women just work so they can buy fripperies and lace! I gets 6 weeks full pay but then am down to half pay after that. Wish I was in public sector - sister is, and said she would get 6 months at full pay. (And I don't get any of the benefits of private sector either as I work for a charity!)=

Welcome tams and lovely bump pics ladies! If I'm feeling brave all share one tomorrow :-)

kaytee love the navy onesie on the left very cute :-)

Elliz know what you mean, I had a massive Spring clean this weekend - 2 black bags full to the charity shop!

Bel did you pick up any furniture? Popped into mothercare they've got a good sale on at the moment..

Sorry to hear about people's problems with mat pay-it's so incredibly frustrating. I've got a midwife appointment tomorrow even though I'm not yet 25 weeks. Wondering if I can I still ask midwife to give me my matb1 form? Keen to give it to work Asap even though I'm only 23w3days..

Oh dear, Cookies, sounds like that is exactly what is going to happen to me on the pay front... Balls. I am going to ring HMRC and find out if I am allowed to do small freelance jobs from home while on maternity leave from school (for which I will be receiving less than SMP). The answer had better be yes! Having a baby I'm breastfeeding won't stop me from editing in hour chunks, but it will stop me from standing in a classroom all day!

All this cake talk is killing me. I just whipped up a mega-batch of banana and walnut muffins. Third batch is currently baking...

Ah, looks like I can do the odd freelance job and still claim my less-than-SMP for my day's employment at school. Whew.

www.mumsnet.com/jobs/freelancing-on-maternity-leave

Is this an option for anyone else?

Beautician & Anna - I hope you both feel better son.
Kaytee - it sounds like we are in a similar position job wise. Unfortunately my phone was ringing this weekend. The problem with on call is you never switch off. They are advertising for my replacement at the moment, so if it doesn't take long there might be some double running which would be great.
So much talk about cake. I am currently addicted to marmite & butter on ryvita. Delicious!!

KayTee I have some of those clothes you posted in your picture, good taste - some of the outfits are just so adorable!

Jem I haven't ordered my furniture although did narrow it down. I really like a cotbed in Mothercare but annoyingly it's one of the few not on offer (bloody typical). Have made my list now though and will slowly start getting stuff in.

Mat pay is V annoying. Luckily have been with my company a while so no issues but I feel for those of you who might have issues looming. Agree it just seems to be to buy 'womens' things!

Nope primary I'm so on your page. But how is that possible I was sure maternity allowance was safe from tax & NI?
That's great news bluebell I've no idea about how it would work going back to doing a few hours a week self employed before my mat leave ends.. Given the nature of my work though I don't know if I'll be ready (teaching fitness classes) but being able to work at home whilst BF baby sounds very ideal indeed.

I've always taken a year off and it really hurts to think it might not be an option. I really wish we could afford for me to not work at times. What's really annoyed me that despite fitting in the hours around two children and being pregnant.. I have a friend who doesnt work ( extremely wealthy husband, has a cleaner, childcare etc) and paid optional minimal national insurance, and was given full maternity allowance?! I know I sound really ungrateful and horrible in my hormonal outburst but the difference in money makes a lot of difference to us . My husband works 7 days a week nearly every week of the year and so physically can't do anymore. I'm dreading telling him my discovery as he will worry even more about money now.

gnat is the extra work for your same employer? Have you done it within the 'qualifying period' ? (Eg around now?) I think we are in the 'qualifying weeks' around now? Seems ridiculously unfair . Ps all I want is that cake. The whole thing. To myself. Maybe that will make me feel better?!

Welcome tams sorry about my rant. I think the benefits will be even more apparent later on? And it's a relaxing time and for your wellbeing etc. I've only been to my normal yoga though so can't comment on prenatal.

jem I got my mat1b at 23 weeks! Midwife was fine about it.

Cookies and all the others I'm so sorry about the mat pay. I think it's awful we get so little. If you can just try save save save. People will want to buy you things for baby so start a list and ask family good friends to get you something from there. You can also get great second hand things too. I know people who get full pay and it winds me up!! Anyway!

Kaytee loving the clothes! This is why I can't find out the sex I'd go crazy... Already am day dreaming on John Lewis

Welcome to the newbies! We don't normally moan this much

Love the bump pics! You all look beautiful! I must remember to start doing them.

Thanks for all your lovely well wishes. I've felt dreadful all day. Finally stopped being ill this afternoon and managed to get some fluid I in... Then developed an awful rash all over my face. Long story cut short ended up being diagnosed with slapped cheek, probably from DD. Luckily past 20 weeks it's not dangerous. But been told to rest and am also dehydrated so got to be careful. Was worried I'd be admitted but luckily tucked up in bed.

Hope you all get good sleeps x

I asked dh what his company do for paternity pay and it sounds rubbish so it seems sexist in favour of women at his place!

Do you all know about shared parental leave? If you want your DP/DH to take time off to look after the baby, you can share the leave. You can take X months off, and then go back to work, whilst your DP/DH can take the rest of the leave. Every workplace should do this as it's required by law.

I cant remember whose spoken about it but I woke up feeling like I had been beaten in the lower region again today.. Was that a sign of SPD? I have midwife a week today so Ill speak to her about it..

We are 23 weeks today and the size of a chinchilla

beaut are you feeling any better today? By any chance have you been drinking a lot of gaviscon? On the nights that I've taken more than usual that's how I feel

foobio aquanatal is great isn't it. I've barely been able to make it recently, it's on a Tuesday night and it's been hard to get away from work on time. A Saturday morning class would be much better but still searching.

jem I'm 21+3 and I plan to ask for my matb1 at my midwife appointment tomorrow.

I'm a bit annoyed at my prenatal care atm and it's not like me to moan about the nhs. ... After a 2 hour booking in appointment at 8 weeks they then lost my blood tests! I got a voice mail saying I was to get them again at 12 week scan. Scan came around and I had to remind them to do the blood tests, they hadn't even taken a note of it. I had to remind my midwife that I needed a GTT twice before she booked me in. I noticed that she had ticked off that the shed told me all about breastfeeding positions etc - she hasn't. Someone I know that'a rh neg like me has been told to go to hospital if she has any knocks to the stomach or any bleeding, I've never been told that. I've been told nothing about any antenatal classes will I be told later maybe? I had the combined testing but only received a letter mentioning ds nothing about the other 2 conditions which makes me think they didn't test for them. When I raised it she said 'oh I'm sure it's fine or u would have heard' well the ds result was low so not sure why I wouldnt be given results for the others if they were low. No one has ever actually explained what they're testing my urine for at each appointment. I was 'given into trouble' at my second appointment for not bringing in urine sample from that morning, no one told me to! I was told to take my notes to my dental check up so I did and the dentist said she didn't have a clue why, felt like an idiot.
It's just a lot of little things and miscommunications that don't fill me with confidence. I'm especially disappointed that the mw has ticked off the bits re bf

Good morning everyone, I've woken up with a really stiff lower back today, hoping it will ease throughout the day but no sign so far. No one area od pain, and I didn't do anything particularly strenuous yesterday so I don't really know if there was a trigger or if it's 'just pregnancy'. I haven't slept very well the last few nights but it wasn't due to discomfort at the time, I just kept waking.

Cookies, I am about to write to HR in my company and ask about the weekends issue, as they're definitely in the qualifying period. I have to confess I haven't double checked it, but so far just listened to what my manager said she thought was 'probably' the case. In fairness, she did say I should check with HR but I was putting it off as I felt I couldn't deal with any bad news on the money front, things are so tight as it it! Will let you know when I hear back.

Kaytee, it does sound like your care hasn't been great, you are totally justified in your disappointment. I was told about antenatal classes at 16 week appointment, and actually they were almost all booked up in our aread by the time I got around to booking (at around 20 weeks). Not quite full so we did get on one, but it's really bad for you not to be told sooner. The urine checking was a bugbear for me too: it's never quite clear when you should bring one and when you shouldn't, and each appointment seems to tell you different things about the notes and about the urine sample. I brought one to my first m/w appointment and she didn't test it, told me to throw it away. Then at my bloods appointment the week after, the nurse noticed there was no urine results and asked me about that, and seemed really shocked that no one had tested me. She made me go off then and there to wee in a pot (never very hard to produce some wee at 8 weeks, is it?!) and made sure it was recorded. All this despite my having had a 3-week urine infection just before my BFP, and having had kidney infections in the past!

My 16 week appointment was a different m/w who was much better. Fingers crossed for tomorrow's 24 week appointment.

23+6

Hi as far as I know you need to take a urine sample to every mw appointment I don't really know what they test for they haven't explained it to me either! The breastfeeding issue I don't think they do talk about it till later mine didn't and I'm not seeing her till 28 weeks but she shouldn't have ticked it off if it's not been done

The urine test is to see if there's protein, sugar or a couple of other things that I can't remember. Protein might mean pre-eclampsia or a UTI I think. Too much sugar is a sign of gestational diabetes.

24+0

Kaytee I am sorry you're upset and that is a pain but think it's sadly that's quite common. I think they have so much paperwork to fill out it stretches their time. Remember it's your app and you can ask whatever you want so don't feel like you can't. They test urine for infection, dehydration etc as well as signs of things like pre eclampsia later on. You should be given an empty sample pot at the end of each app to take. If you don't go with a full bladder and do when waiting.

Re BF they don't really give you loads of help anyway it's mainly just a leaflet. I think you get more in the classes. My advice on BF support and help is you need it more when baby is here. It's hard to prepare for as every delivery, mum and baby are different. If you want to BF just make sure you don't leave hospital until you're happy with it. There is a fantastic site KellyMom that offers great advice that you can read up on before though.

She should have mentioned ante natal classes to you by now so ring her and get the details as gnat said they book fast!

Gnat sorry you've got back ache. It's so annoying! Try lots of pillows to help in bed. Do you sit in an office chair? Make sure it's good for you. Work is legally obliged to get you one that supports you.

Also, I'm so rubbish on these things! Please can someone tell me how do you bold names on here?!

Morning all, I got my matb1 form so glad now I can finally start to sort out my mat leave.

kaytee it sounds like a bit of a mess. Quite a few things have been messed up with my care too. I'm finding myself having to chase all the time (I've had to chase all 3 of my urine tests results) and double check appointment dates (are they right?) or why they are testing for x y and z (i find midwives don't always explain these things!) it's so frustrating! Hope it gets a better for you.

Feeling brave today so attached my first bump pic

AnnaT45 add * before and after the name

Gorgeous bump and bedroom Jem! Thank you!!! I'm hopeless!

Hi, I agree with others on the thread. You have to be pushy and ask the questions. I have had to chase all the time. I have never had any of my urine results (assume they are ok), and had to ask about my blood tests. I am starting to question the point of some of my MW appts. I seem to learn more talking to friends, family and reading. I don't even have another appt booked in. I assume they will give me one at 24 wks, but who knows.

The urine test is just a dipstick that they should do right there and then. You should see "NAD" written in your maternity notes for that appointment, which means no abnormalities detected. There isn't actually much to do, if everything is going well! It all gets a bit more focussed once you get nearer to due date.

thom I would ring and book one in for when you're around 24 weeks.

There's not a lot going on at the mo really but always good to have wee checked. They should do it at every app. Ive always had to ask, and tell if you think something significant. Eg I had a horrific haemorrhage (spelling)! After dd1 and I have to make a specific point of this being known, as they don't always ask etc even at booking. I think they're so stretched you need to ask/tell everything you want, it's hard to speak up sometimes I know.

Re breastfeeding I would google for some advice for now, but the main focus is in hospital with baby. The most important part is the latch and you can't practice until there's a baby!
Do ask about antenatal classes and be assertive! They didn't even mention them to me but I don't feel it would be of any benefit to me.

gnat sorry to hear about your back. Second the advice about pillows. I find it makes a great difference to how I'm feeling.good luck with HR- I would definitely contact them. If you aren't happy with their response then you can still take it further

anna so sorry to hear you have slapped cheek. Hope you rest up well, and take on lots of fluids. Keep us updated and hope you feel better soon

jem gorgeous bump

Bought baby a little nautical jersey romper to cheer myself up today- finally a purchase suitable for summer! Should be saving after my money rantings but telling myself it was only £6 ...

Anna, sorry to hear about the slapped cheek! Look after yourself and hope you get better soon. At least no risk to baby.

Cookies, that nautical romper sounds lovely - I might invest in something similar after Easter. Want to wait a bit longer before starting to buy.

Jem, I agree - bump and bedroom equally gorgeous!

Thanks for pillow advice ladies. Like Beautician, I have been sleeping with a cushion between my knees for months now, as it helps my hips. But up till now I hadn't really needed anything more. My friend says she has a pregancy pillow she can give me - but when I asked her last she said 'oh yes, I must have a look'... better tell her to have a look now or I'll just buy one!