July 2016 (7) We're halfway to meeting our little bubs

[allthegoodnamesalreadytaken]

Hi all started a new thread as the old one was getting almost to 1000. We're a very chatty bunch! Happy Friday

Hi all, haven't posted the last few days. Nothing new here, sleeping is also uncomfortable, DH jokes that I sleep in my own fort I have so many pillows around me. Finding my shoulder hurts due to sleeping on the left a lot. We have started on the nursery but it's a slow process of doing a bit each weekend so at the moments wallpaper is off and that's it. I haven't been shopping in weeks, feel jealous of all these little outfits! Hope everyone who is poorly feels better soon.

Bf support is something you really need to push for but as has been said, you can't really do anything until the baby arrives. I would also take antenatal bf advice with a pinch of salt as it is sold through rose tinted glasses.

By that I mean they don't really tell you what to expect so here is my tuppence worth in no particular order:

1. It hurts like a bitch at first but is totally worth it. My favourite memories include feeding my boy in the middle of the night. It was so calm and quiet and just us two.

2. Normally your milk won't come in until day 3. Before that you will produce colostrum which is essential and does NOT need topping up with milk

3. the baby tummy is teeny tiny. I think the size of a pea. It grows quite quickly but not enough to sustain them "through the night" for a fair while. If you are lucky you will have a sleeper but most babies need feeding regularly. You will be asked if your baby is "good" which means do they sleep. One of the most annoying questions ever.

4. there is nothing wong with using nipple sheilds. Just get decent ones

5. lanolin is great for soothing but is very stiff when cold so keep near a radiator so you can get some out of the tube! It also has a slight numbing property which can pass on to the baby which is fine but worth remembering in some occasions (just can't remember when - blame my brain).

6. for some strange reason on earth the milk producing hormones are at their best at 3 in the ffing morning which can mean you almost guarantee feeding time around then.

7. breast milk is like super cream. It has layers and in a full feed the baby will benefit from a really nutritious meal. Just think of it like fruit topped with yoghurt topped with granola. Each layer is good but it is even better all together.

8. one boob will be more efficient than the other. But it doesn't mean it is the biggest!

9. massage your boobs in the shower and before feeding to help prevent mastitis and blocked ducts

10. breast feeding is not for everyone. Don't feel under pressure to do it if you can't/don't want to.

11. mix feeding is also an option

12. if you formula feed, make sure you use boiling water on the formula to kill the bacteria in the powder. I used to make a concentrated mix which went in the fridge to cool and keep. Then I would add hot water to get to temp when it was needed. In the full knowledge the formula was already sterilised.

13. it can take a few weeks to get into the swing of things so it is worth sticking at it.

This is all from my own experience and learning and I am not a professional. So please don't take what I say as preaching.

In other news I had my 20 weeks scan today and am joining team pink. Baby is looking nice and healthy but they have noticed a cyst on the cord as it insert into the placenta so need to go back for monitoring with a consultant in three weeks. Has anyone else got any experience of this. I was thinking of posting on the pg pages of mn but it is all hypothetical until my appointment so seems pointless. We know it isn't on the baby and the baby is good and healthy. So very pleased with that. Also placenta is on the back wall, out of the way of the exit. So that would explain why I am feeling more this time round.

Goingloopy - thank you that is really helpful about the BF. As a first time mum I don't know what to expect. There is so much pressure to do it. I am lucky the both my MIL and mum are very open minded about it. Also, congratulations on the scan.

I've never heard of lanolin cream causing numbness, I used Lansinoh last time (1 tube lasted for 16 months!), and there were no warnings on the packaging to that effect. Maybe it's changed since I used it?

Lansinoh is what I meant. I couldn't remember how to spell it so was counting on being corrected :)

Also like I can't remember what the numbing bit was. It seems like a bit of a blur because it didn't bother me much at the time.

going loppy congrats on a girl! Lovely. I don't have any exp on the cyst but it doesn't sound like they're too worried?

Great advice on BF. I would add:

Get some good breast pads as your boobs leak loads to start!

Get some cheap vests from h&m, primark to feed in. You then wear under your top and pull your top up and best under your boob. Nursing clothes are generally a bit mumsy and expensive

Have some bottles of pre made formula on standby in case you need a break one night

Look for your local breastfeeding support group they are wonderful

Finally, and I don't want to put anyone off but wish someone had told me so I could manage my expectations.... Breastfeeding is probably the hardest thing I have ever done. The first few weeks are relentless with cluster feeding and trying to get to grips with each other. Be prepared that it's not natural and easy. It can be quite the opposite. But if you stick with it it becomes easier after that first month and then every day. I loved BF because it was less hassle with bottles etc, could just leave the house and not rush home etc, never had to warm up milk and wait. Could do lying down in bed with cuddles. Agree with going loppy the cuddles in the quiet part of the night are lovely.
All that said you should at no point feel any pressure to do it. You have to want to do it and be prepared that it's hard but it does get easier. There is nothing wrong with formula and all that matters is a happy mum and baby. Just try have an open mind to it all and be relaxed it will save you stress in the long time. Right, advice over!

Am feeling much better thank you! Have managed to eat some toast but still bed bound. Got my scan tomorrow and they will check me out again to ensure I'm getting better. Can't wait to see my little bub!

AnnaT. I had forgotten about cluster feeding. Good advice on the other bits too. It is amazing what you forget and remember.

Thanks for the tips goingloopy and anna very helpful. Welcome to team pink going. Hope the cyst issue gets resolved

Thanks to all you experienced mums for the BF tips. So useful as I feel I know nothing! A friend of mine said the nct tell you that if you BF the baby doesn't need burping but said it was rubbish advice! Any views on that?

I feel for those with various pains. My bump felt 'heavy' for the first time in bed last night. Just can't get comfy.

Is anyone over work now? I still feel it's sooooo long to go til mat leave starts. It feels like just waiting to leave work. Mind you my bump seems the only thing people want to talk about when I see them in the office. It was nice at first but I feel much more conscious about it now. And all the helpful 'advice' I'm getting too...over that!

Bf babies do need burping. We found out the hard way after being told the same BS about not needing to burp bf babies. They may not need as much. But they will still take in air while eating.

Strangely though I really struggled to burp ds but dp had a magic touch and air would nearly always leave the boy elaborately quite quickly. I remember ds burping himself for the first time when he was about 10 months old after playing row row the boat and feeling great relief.

We quickly stopped burping DS1 after feeds, as it became clear it wasn't necessary. He would feed to sleep and I wasn't going to disturb him by trying to burp him! So, maybe it depends on your baby?

True. Whe. He fed to sleep we would avoid waking him. But the same applied when he was bf and when we moved to formula.

Great BF tips I would agree with them all. Nipple cream is the best invention. Breast pads saved me from many an embarrassing situation. I think I did sometimes try winding but it wasn't like with bottle feeding winding?

It's normal to be in toe curling pain initially. It will get better.

My added advice would be to not leave hospital until you feel OK with latch. Although it will only be colostrum at this point it's good to have support with it - and you do really need to make your wishes known. With dd1 I rushed home before i got the hang of it- was young and embarrassed and not confident- and then got home, screaming baby in middle of night, pain, tears (many tears- both mine and baby) no latch, and sent dp to tesco at 3am to buy formula. I wish, in hindsight, I hadn't. But she is a very healthy 6 year old now.

Also- make sure they check for a tongue tie!

goingloopy congrats on team pink. I know nothing about the cyst though sorry.

aww thanks Anna, Cookies and gnat you're too kind!

Congrats loopy on your team pink news! Also thanks to everyone on those breast feeding tips- so useful! Going to find out info on my local breastfeeding support group.

Currently in bed with a cushion between my knees for support - another great tip so thanks gnat!

Hope everyone is having a good evening. Roll on Wednesday, hump day

Thanks for all the bf advice. It doesn't feel like anybody else is that honest when they write guidance or talk to you about it. Has anyone got experience with combi feeding? I was initially going to just try bf but my mum raised the point that what will we do if something happens to me later on. Sounds morbid but she knew babies who would refuse the bottle so much that the only alternative was to feed water/milk with a teaspoon! I decided that I wanted to make sure that my baby would take a bottle of formula just in case. Was thinking maybe one bottle every day or two. Has anyone tried this and what age were your babies when you introduced the bottle?

Congratulations on the recent scans. Bit jealous of all the shopping talk too. We've decided to stay on team yellow so limited to sleepsuits and vests - can't find any nice unisex rompers or "proper clothes".

Congrats on scan Goingloopy!! Enjoy settling in to team pink. Good luck sorting out cyst issue.

Thanks ladies for all the BF tips. I am determined to try and make it work, one month pain and suffering doesn't seem that much for all the benefits! But if it doesn't work out I won't beat myself up about it.

Tam, are you thinking about the teat or the flavour for the bottle? Because you can feed them expressed breast milk in a bottle to get them used to a different teat. My sister used to do that, and then if she needed a break she would leave milk for us to use.

She also used formula routinely (but only) for the 11pm feed when she had her twins so that she could get a head start on sleep and myself and her DH would do that one, regardless of whether there was expressed milk left or not. So many options, it seems like people really do need to find what works for them.

Hope everyone has a good Wednesday. Still in bed as I have day off but have been up to put on laundry. Just had an argument with DH about his job situation (he really doesn't want to talk about it but he is not earning enough at the moment and needs to find more work. Confidence is a huge issue for him, so he is procrastinating about applying for stuff. I feel really sorry for him, but we don't have get the luxury of time here. It's really adding to my stress and then I worry so much that it will have negative effect on baby) .

Midwife appointment at lunchtime, am trying to keep my expectations low!

Tams. Another good point. Guideines say not to show baby a bottle until at least 6 weeks because they "might get confused" I called BS on this and introduced expressed milk from about 2/3 weeks. It was only a small amount but DS knew how to drink from the bottle and the boob with no trouble. I have friends who exclusively BF and have had real trouble introducing bottles later on. But each baby is different. Having said that I planning the same again this time.

As for mixed feeding, there is nothing wrong with this either. It is about what suots tlur family needs. However I tried introducing mixed feeding when O was thinking of moving to formula and it just didn't work for us. Possibly because guzzle guts couldn't get enough of the white stuff and my milk supplies wen all weird. I will try again with thi baby who hopefully won't guzzle quite as much as her big brother (who still has a massive appetite)

Great advice on BF, and nice to hear from those who have already got experience!

As DH and I are first timers, we have gone old school. We bought a book.... Yes. Not an app, or a kindle book, an actual paper book.

We've really enjoyed leafing through. It's very comprehensive so some bits I've skimmed. But it is really nice to have a one stop shop of advice and info, without using Google and getting advice from a crackpot. I recommend it, photos below, I don't think the photos do justice to the good layout, nice pictures, and lists of things you need, and extras you might choose to own.

Also, the book is very very good at giving non judgemental advice on all areas. It describes how you go about caring, however you choose to do it. And why you might change tack.
There is a lovely section on adoption, an a-z on illnesses and conditions, and a section on looking after yourself.

I think I tried a bottle of expressed around 3/4 weeks. I wouldn't do before as can affect your supply when you're trying to get it established. If you wanted to do everyday I would express it as it can again affect your supply if you don't. I know lots of people who tried mixed but their supply ran dry as you gave to keep feeding consistently to keep producing. I moved onto mixed feeding after 6 months just for one feed a day as DD was getting distracted when feeding and it drove me crazy!
I had a fab medela electric pump that was my saviour! Also meant I could express and store milk to give me a real once things were established.

Re bottle refusing... DD did this. In the end I left her for a day with my mum and after refusing the first two feeds she gave in. That said we tried three different types of bottles too! Be aware getting them to take it from you is hard as they know your boob is right there!

Please ask us if you have any other questions. I only stopped feeding end of sept ( then feel pregnant the next month-whoops!) so it's all fresh in my mind! I wish I had researched it more and asked more but I didn't realise it wasn't so easy.

ASOS has 20% off maternity till Friday 8 am. MAT20 is the code. I'm trying not to order loads as have lots of maxi dresses etc that will do me when it warms up

Also, did anyone see the Facebook post about breast tissue being able through backwash when feeding to tell when your baby is ill? Your body reacts by adding more colostrum to help baby fight the bugs. You might notice the difference in colour if you express.

anna thanks for the asos code I think I will have a look later. Maybe a few purchases will stop me feeling so gross.
Also I really recommend the Medela pump too, and I got the milk storage and bottles. They were pricey but great. Their teets make the baby work harder at getting the milk out, similar to breast, so there is less confusion between boob and bottle. I can't remember when I first expressed was around a month after birth just so supply was good/established. As an 'out and about' kind of person I really liked having the option to feed a bottle, and DH could be more involved in the evenings. In my own personal experience, mixed formula and breast milk didn't go brilliantly, but every mother and every baby is different.
tams I tried a bottle of formula before bed to get extra sleep in. Back fired as the formula seemed to be too harsh on her tummy and would then scream blue murder for hours. No sleep and frustrated/tired parents. I also found introducing formula made her constipated (but she is that way inclined, even now!) I would still try, just wanted to share this as no one had really mentioned the possibility to me.
lucia I love an old school book. This looks great.
gnat I feel for you on the DH job front. I hope something comes along. It's hard to push them gently though isn't it? Especially if it's a sensitive issue.. Lots of 'man pride' in this household. Hope MW goes well and you have a nice relaxing day.

Sorry if everyone doesn't appreciate this... But i couldn't help but share after keep forgetting to do mine!!
Happy hump day!